Volume 1 - CH 6

“What is your name?”

Kuhn was hugging Renier so tightly she felt like she was being crushed. He was squeezing so hard that she could barely breathe properly.

Renier didn’t reply. He brought his lips closer to her ear and whispered,

“How old are you? Where are you from? What is your father’s name?

“What is that brand on your chest? And the scars on your back? Who did that to you?

“Did…did it hurt a lot? How much did it hurt? Are you all right now?”

Kuhn had licked her all over inside the darkness where not a single ray of light could enter. With his hands, his eyes, and his lips. He twined their limbs together like vines and asked an endless stream of questions. Renier could not say a single word in reply. Everywhere that he’d bitten, chewed, crushed, and dug into was sore and hurt so much.

He hadn’t known even half of what Renier knew about sexual relations. The only thing he’d been taught was that men and women must lie together for a baby to be born between them. He hadn’t known what to do with himself as he was faced with the severeness of his ignorance, but he had desperately done his best not to let his ignorance show.

It was Renier herself who had told him, ‘I might fight back and say no or scream about how you’re hurting me, but I want you to cover my mouth with your hands, tie me up, and hit me as you rape me,’ but she had been bewildered when the unfamiliar pain seized her, and she had found herself unable to control the powerful rejection that arose within her.

Kuhn had grown flustered when Renier struggled fiercely to resist him because it hurt so much.

He thought that her request was bizarre, and he could not understand it for the life of him, but he had ultimately been the one who accepted it. And so, he had covered Renier’s mouth despite her fierce resistance as she struggled in pain, bent back her limbs and held them down, and sometimes even wrestled with her as he laid with her all night long, as he had promised.

His mind had been in chaos the entire time he was holding her —was he performing properly? Would she die from being in so much pain? Was it truly all right for him to use his brute strength like this?—, and he had felt more miserable as time passed.

“You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m really okay.”

“I’m certain I did something wrong, since…….”

“No, you didn’t. I heard that the first time is always supposed to hurt for women. I guess it was true.”

Renier placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, unable to stop herself, as she comforted him. His stiffened up again.

“……The first time is supposed to hurt?”

“Yup. So, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“……The first time…is supposed…to hurt?”

he repeated to himself again in disbelief like a fool. It sounded like he wanted to cry, judging by how much worse shakier his voice was growing every time he repeated the question.

Renier gently patted his sweaty back as she comforted him. His breath felt sputtered as it hit her cheek. His moved his lips as if he wanted to say something, but he ended up burying his face in Renier’s chest instead. His lips fell on top of the round, tree-shaped brand on her chest. Renier brushed back the tangled mess of his hair and whispered,

“You said that there’s something you need to do once you get home, right?”

“……Yes.”

“What is it? Is it something urgent? ……Actually, never mind. You don’t have to tell me. I’m not curious.”

Anything she learned about him would only become branded in her heart and make it harder for her to forget him. And so, she endlessly continued to swallow back the questions she wanted to ask him so they could not escape past her lips.

“Go home as soon as the blizzard stops, Kuhn. I’ll figure out the rest. I’ll just tell everyone that I chased you down and killed you because you tried to run away.”

Renier felt him squirming. She continued stroking him on the back as she languidly continued muttering,

“Don’t you ever come back here ever again after you’re gone. The people here will never let you leave alive if you come back. You know that, right?”

“I know.”

“And forget about everything that’s happened inside this cave. Forget about me, too.”

“…….”

“You don’t need to be grateful to me about anything. It wasn’t because I like you or because you’re a good person that I saved you. It was just something I decided to do on a whim to make myself feel better.”

She had never once been free from these shackles ever since she was ten. Struggling to keep herself safe had only served to push her deeper in the mud by the day. There was blood mixed inside that mud. Kuhn kept his face buried in her chest and pulled her in tightly by the waist as he maintained his silence and listened to her tale.

Renier stroked his hair. She probably wouldn’t be able to forget how it felt between her fingers for a very long time. She’d probably miss it a lot. And she’d probably wonder what color his eyes were for a very long time too.

But now was the time to be firm —or perhaps it was the time to be cruel. Two weeks had been long enough.

“This is enough. You’ve repaid your damn debt or whatever too, so everything’s over now. There’s nothing more for you to give me or receive from me. Right?”

“I…h-haven’t repaid my debt to you properly. This…this…….”

Something warm seeped into the round, tree-shaped brand that was etched into Renier’s chest. Renier slowly closed her eyes and whispered,

“I wonder when the blizzard will stop? I hope it stops soon.”

“……That is something that Great Enki of the atmosphere will handle,”

Kuhn mumbled in a voice that was as dark and murky as mud that had been drenched in dew.

As always, Renier heard him praying desperately on his knees again that night. She couldn’t hear what exactly he was praying for, but she was confident that something about his desperate wishes had changed from yesterday.

What was it? What new thing was he wishing for today?

He gently placed his warm hand on the crown of Renier’s head. His large, thick hand was oddly hot even though it was drenched in sweat, and there was something hard and uneven between his palm and Renier’s head.

It was only after Renier felt the dangling leather string that she finally figured out what that something was. It was the black stone that Kuhn had said was the withered heart of his ancestor, which Kuhn had once shown her while he was making a vow.

Renier leaned an ear toward his prayer and learned that what he was uttering wasn’t exactly a prayer but rather something closer to a blessings often given by priests. But no —Renier realized that they weren’t blessings either as his words began filtering into her ears one by one.

Utu, who presides over light and justice, speaks.

You who are the most beautiful and valorous woman in the world.

It was an oracle. Renier couldn’t smell any herbs, his consciousness wasn’t lost in the realm of the gods, and he wasn’t even a priest yet. He was nothing more than a to-be priest of the Temple of Utu who had yet to officiate a single rite. Yet Renier could not deny that the words he was saying were, in fact, an oracle.

The top of her head grew moist. Renier realized that it wasn’t sweat that Kuhn’s hand was drenched in when she smelled the faint scent of iron. He didn’t have any offerings or sacrifices here, so he had opted to offer the blood from his own body to his god in order to receive this misguided oracle, in order to substitute for the formal requirements of receiving an oracle.

This would never be considered an actual oracle under normal circumstances. But his voice still sounded so desperate as he continued to repeat himself.

Utu, the Glory of Day who presides over justice, speaks.

Without fail, there shall be one man whom you shall love.

And there shall be one man who loves you.

Without fail, there shall be one man whom you shall save.

And there shall be one man who saves you.

What was this?

Renier furrowed her brows. He was qualifying the words that Renier had hurriedly added to the unwanted prophecy she had been given in the Temple of Inanna with the seal of certainty —‘without fail.’

You shall ultimately choose the path of light at the crossroads between all things, for you are a warrior powerful and wise.

You shall beat back misfortune and walk the path of happiness.

May all this surely come to pass, for I have spoken in the name of Utu, the great sun god who presides over light and justice.

The oracle was clear and concise, just like his personality. Without fail, there shall be one man whom you shall love; without fail, there shall be one man whom you shall love. You shall ultimately choose the path of light, beat back misfortune, and walk the path of happiness. May all this surely come to pass.

He repeated himself over and over again without end. He repeated himself desperately, as though each repeat gave him additional strength to stand against Inanna’s oracle —no, as if he could materialize his words if he said them enough times.

Tears began trailing down from the edges of Renier’s eyes. Enough. That’s enough. Whether or not he was a priest, whether or not he was saying this on drugs —none of it mattered to her anymore.

I’ll believe this misguided priest’s oracle. No, I choose to believe it. Renier clenched her teeth together as she resolved herself. Goddess Inanna’s oracle may be miraculous, Goddess Inanna may say that she blessed me because she loves me, and you aren’t even a real priest yet, but I choose to believe yours.

Unlike what you said, I might not be able to choose the path of light, Kuhn. I might never get to find the path of happiness. I might never meet someone I love for the rest of my life and end of dying here in this divine stone cave.

But moving forward, I’ll believe that the paths I take will lead me to happiness, just as your oracle said.

Someday, at the very least, surely, and without fail.

……Thank you, Kuhn.

The blizzard that had been raging for three whole weeks stopped that night.

***

Kuhn was sitting up next to Renier with his back straight when she woke up at dawn. It was obvious that he’d been up all night. Renier pretended that she’d never heard his oracle from last night, and Kuhn didn’t say a word about it either.

Renier checked to make sure that Kuhn’s blindfold was tied firmly in place before she started brushing the wasteland that was his hair. She wanted to make sure he looked presentable since he was finally going home.

“What are you doing?”

“I’ll brush your hair for you —hold still for a sec. Your hair looks like a patch of weeds. Were you planning to go home like that?”

Kuhn made a face and grew flustered as Renier told him off. T-this is only because I just woke up, I’m not usually like this —b-besides, I don’t have a comb either. Kuhn was actually very fortunate that he didn’t have a comb, because trying to comb through the mess on his head might’ve ripped out all his hair and left him bald.

Renier combed through Kuhn’s hair nicely with her fingers, tied it up with some leather string, and did it up into a high bun as per his request.

Meanwhile, Kuhn sat with his back straight and waited patiently. He took a deep breath every time Renier’s fingers brushed against his thick neck. A faint light was beginning to fill the cave, the other people were still fast asleep, and the only sounds that could be heard inside the small chamber was the rustling of Renier brushing through Kuhn’s hair spreading quietly like a spiderweb.

“It looks a little weird, but there’s nothing I can do about that. I’ve never done someone else’s hair for them before. Actually, I haven’t really done my own hair either, now that I think about it.”

Renier was giggling, but Kuhn replied seriously without a hint of laughter on his face.

“That’s all right. I like it. Thank you.”

Renier helped Kuhn tie up the strings of his outer garments tightly and neatly combed the wool tufts on his kaunakes skirt once she was done with his hair.

“The snow’s stopped. Looks like the weather will be nice today.”

She cut the leather rope around his ankle, brought her own feet wraps, which she had been warming by the fire, and wrapped it carefully around his feet, and wordlessly bandaged the wound that he was sure to have on his hand after last night. Then, she helped him put on his wool shoes, which were nice and soft because they were dried, and also tied his shoelaces tight.

She couldn’t help but worry —what if his feet got soaked while he was walking through all that snow, what if those lovely toes of his got frostbite?

He quietly lowered his head and his face flushed a glowing red as she gently wrapped the still warm and cozy shoes around his feet. Silence fell between them for a very long time.

“Hmm? What is it……?”

He had reached out and started stroking Renier’s hair. Renier was startled, but she quietly closed her eyes and accepted his touch because the look on his face was ever so solemn and sincere, because his hand was so warm against her cold hair.

His large and thick hand moved ever so gently and lovingly. The way his hands then wrapped around her feet and clumsily tied her shoelaces managed to bring aching tears to her eyes.

“It’s a good day to go home. Do you think you can stand up?”

Renier pulled Kuhn up by the hand. Renier was a skilled hunter, and she had assumed, from the way Kuhn moved, that he had only been limping in order to get the other people inside the cave to lower their guards around him. The large boy from the Northlands was visibly sturdy, and the way he moved suggested to Renier that he was almost fully recovered.

And, as she’d expected, he stood up easily and walked out the cave on his own two feet. A chill ran down Renier’s spine because she could neither hear his footsteps nor feel his breathing now that he was intentionally hiding his presence.

Renier purposefully took the long way around and cut through the cedar forest, where the snow had yet too pile up too high, so that they wouldn’t leave their footprints behind. They didn’t exchange a single word as they crossed the large forest, and they only held each other’s hand tightly.

The sun had risen, and their surroundings were blindingly bright by the time they finally arrived at their destination. The densely packed trees, covered with snow, stood behind them, and the vast plains of the Northlands stretched out before them.

Renier could see the small hideout surrounded by rocks where she had first found Kuhn. Renier placed her last skin of fruit wine and a piece of salted jerky in Kuhn’s hands and took a step back.

“Stand here and start counting, Kuhn. Count to seventy seven times, and count very, very slowly.”

“……Wait, hey, wait a minute. I-I have something I want to say to……. N-no, that’s not it.”

He flung the wine and jerky aside and flailed urgently as he took Renier’s hand once more. Renier felt her emotions surging inside.

“You want to say something? What? And why did you wait until now of all times?”

She coldly slapped his hand away. Damned coward! You were hesitating to death all this time, and you’re only squeezing out your courage now that you’re running out of time? I’m sorry, but you should’ve said something sooner —it’s too late now. Renier had already decided to cut all ties with the rascal and send him back. She continued,

“Enough. You listen to what I have to say. Take your blindfold off after you’ve counted to seventy seven times. You swore to me on Lord Utu’s name, remember? You promised me that you won’t take off your blindfold until I say you can, right? Don’t you dare skip a single number.”

He probably wants to see me, but not so badly that he’ll break a vow he made on a god’s name. After all, breaking a vow that you made on the name of the god you believe in is a sin worthy of getting cursed to death for in both the Northlands and the Southlands.

He might’ve given me a sham oracle to go against Inanna’s oracle for my sake, but he’s to be Utu’s next high priest, so I doubt that he’d willingly let himself be cursed by another god all just for some girl whose face and name he doesn’t know.

And surely enough. Kuhn was hesitant and unable to undo the blindfold that was covering his eyes. The blood was beginning to drain from his face, which was filled with bewilderment and chaos. Quickly, Renier added,

“Make sure you call for someone once you’re done talking. It’s not snowing, and the sky’s so clear, so your whistling will probably travel at least four leagues. And find your own way back if no one comes for you. You’re fully recovered now, so I’m sure you’ll be able to. Don’t look for me, and don’t chase after me either.”

“Wait, please wait! Will you be going back to the cave? Is there a reason why you must stay there?”

“Where else am I supposed to go? Northlanders are unfriendly to Southlanders, and I’m a runaway Southlander slave —you don’t seriously think that I’d be able to hide among you Northlanders, do you?”

“Wait, that’s not what I…t-there’s something I want to say even though I mustn’t say it now.”

“If you mustn’t say it, then don’t.”

Renier interjected coldly. Kuhn floundered his hands as he cried out,

“Don’t…don’t go! Woman, brat —y-you! Damn it! Your name! Please! Your name! I don’t know your name yet! Why won’t you…?!”

“Is my name important? I told you to forget about me. And it’ll be a lot easier for you to forget about me if you don’t know my name, my age, or what I look like.”

Kuhn’s hands trembled as he clutched the ends of his blindfold. He probably wants to take it off. He probably wants to see me like crazy. But he’s going to be a high priest, so he can’t break a vow that he’s made on the name of the god he serves. That what’s most important to him, after all.

Renier neither intended to test the person who loved her and ask him to give up that which he treasured most like Armanu had, nor did she plan to simply let anything peculiar start growing inside her heart.

And most importantly, she absolutely didn’t plan to involve him in the horrible gift that Inanna had given her. They had each done the other a favor, and there didn’t need to be anything between them anymore.

Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp —Renier began running quickly through the cedar forest. Kuhn wouldn’t be able to track her down easily inside a forest even with his terrifyingly sharp senses.

“Don’t go! Don’t gooo! I have something I need to say to you!”

Kuhn reached out and flailed before falling flat on his face over the snow. He didn’t get back up no matter how long Renier waited. Renier startled, ran back to him while cursing furiously, and pulled him back up.

“What are you doing, you moron?! Are you hurt?”

A moment later, Kuhn used his terrifying strength to pull Renier into his arms. Their lips locked together, and then he pushed his tongue inside. Renier couldn’t breathe. She gasped for air as she punched his head. He scowled, and in a very subdued voice, he said,

“Don’t go back to the cave. I hate the idea of you being there.”

“You crazy asshole! Are you telling me to go back to the Southlands, then?”

Renier struggled for all she was worth and kneed him in the pit of his stomach. But he only flinched for a moment before he pushed her down backward. They fell into the snow that had piled up all the way to their knees. Everything went white, and all Renier could see and hear vividly was the crimson flush on his face and the sound of him gasping for breath. She continued,

“Who do you think you are to tell me what to do? Do you really think I’d have left my home and come crawling all the way here to the land of beasts unless I absolutely had to? Do you really think I’d have willingly lived inside a divine stone cave, where only the worst of humanity gather, if I had any other choice?! Huh?”

Renier slapped her chest, where her slave brand from the Golden Forest was engraved, as she continued screaming,

“I’ll die if I leave the Whitesalt Mountains. This fucking slave brand came with a shitty curse! The only reason I’ve been living in that damned cave all this time is because the only place where the curse from the Golden Forest doesn’t work is the Northlands! Because the Northlands are the lands of the beastmen! The lands of darkness where the holy spells of the Celestials don’t work!”

“Oh, s-so your brand…….”

Kuhn, who had finally learned why Renier had been living inside the divine stone cave, dropped his jaw and dithered. Then, he continued,

“I-in that case, can’t you live amongst u-us Northlanders instead of living inside the divine stone cave? Of all places, why……?”

“How does that even make sense to you?!”

Renier shouted back sharply.

The biggest reason why foreigners could not live in the Northlands was because the Northlanders were hostile to them. They were so hostile that the rumors claiming that the Northlands were the lands of beasts and the lands of darkness where people could not live like people were trivial in comparison.

They had lived sequestered amongst themselves so completely all these years because people from other lands had always labelled them as beastmen, and they never allowed outsiders into their fold. The Northlands were a land where no law existed to protect foreigners —this was what Renier had been told about the Northlands.

“You are wrong. Nothing will stop you from living amongst us if you want to. I told you, didn’t I?! People live in the Northlands, and we’re no different from you! We cry when we’re sad, laugh when we’re happy, cherish our fathers, mothers, and siblings, and marry and have children with the person we love —just like you do! We’re people, just like you!”

“That’s enough!”

“Do you still see me as nothing more than a dirty beastman? Would you rather be with those men who are actually no better than mere beasts?”

Kuhn held Renier tightly in his arms as he yelled at the top of his lungs. Just shut up and go if you don’t know anything, you asshole! Renier punched him repeatedly in the chest as she struggled as hard as she could.

Kuhn simply accepted her punching as he pressed down against her with his entire being. His whispers scattered into the snow between his gasping breaths.

“There’s…there’s something I wish to say to you without fail once I’ve finished doing what I need to do.”

Renier opened her eyes wide as she looked up at the boy who was pressing down against her. What on earth was this ‘thing that he needed to do’ that he kept going on about?

Then, a certain vivid premonition swept through her mind. Her heart was already screaming the answer. It was so loud that it almost felt like the words were running rampant inside her ungagged.

That’s not why I saved him. It wasn’t because I pitied him or because I’m merciful or anything of the sort. I did it for selfish reasons —because I wanted to free myself from my own guilt.

But her feeble and obsequious anticipation began to coil up inside her lower abdomen as the truth continued to sweep through her mind. If something began growing inside his heart because I saved his life, then isn’t it okay for me to have hope? It might not be growing inside my heart, and it might not have grown to the same size inside my heart either, but the fact that I saved him still remains.

If he says something to me, if he tells me the words that I desperately want to hear, if his heart is desperate and powerful enough to embrace Goddess Inanna’s curse too —then won’t it be all right for me to have hope just this once?

Ultimately, Renier succumbed to the powerful temptation and said,

“I don’t know what it is that you have to do, but say it now if you have something to say. Nothing will change whether you tell me now or later.”

“I can’t tell you right now.”

Kuhn shook his head stubbornly. Renier sharply raised her voice.

“Then leave me the hell alone! You can’t even say anything properly!”

“……ith me,”

he mumbled so quietly she could barely hear him. He was speaking so quietly that she had to bring her ear closer to his lips. He was frowning heavily, as if he was carefully picking out only the words that he could say right now, as he uttered each and every word with great care.

“I-I’ll come back for you once I’ve finished doing what I must do. My home is still safer than the divine stone cave. I will protect you. From the hands of every animal and beast, from the hands of anyone who tries to hurt you…….”

He took a deep breath, and steady resolve, continued,

“And from the hands of any gods who try to harm you too.”

Tears slowly began welling up in Renier’s eyes.

Was it that he didn’t have the courage to speak aloud the feelings hidden inside his heart just yet? This wasn’t the confession that Renier had been hoping to hear. But his offer was the very thing that she desperately needed most right now. A roof under which she could hide, sturdy walls that shielded her from all four directions, and arms that would embrace the blessing-cum-curse she had been given.

But it was so strange. She’d always thought that she’d be overjoyed to hear someone say this to her, but hearing it coming from him made her feel like her heart was being ripped apart. Renier choked up as she confirmed,

“Even if……that god isn’t Lady Inanna but Lord Utu?”

His face crumpled again. Haah. He turned his face to the side and made a strange noise instead of replying. Renier wasn’t to slap her own mouth silly. And, before he could answer, she shouted,

“No, that’s enough! Don’t answer that!”

“I……”

“I said, don’t answer that! I’m not some kind of wicked bitch like Armanu was! So, don’t you dare answer that!”

She grabbed Kuhn by the collar and raged. She continued,

“Y-you moron! Why didn’t you say anything until now? There isn’t even any time to think right now!”

“Do you……need time to think? Why? Why do you need time if you aren’t Armanu?”

“It’s you who needs the time to think, not me! I’ll tell you since it looks like you didn’t know, but it wasn’t Armanu who needed to take a week to think —it was Kittu! It was Kittu of Six Wings, who became a complete idiot because he was so deep in love! You moron!”

Even seven weeks might not be enough time to fully understand what it means to take on my burdens, much less one! Especially not with that head of yours, when all you could do was repeat a sham oracle all night long.

You don’t even have to look far. You need to take a moment and think about what happened to all the men who ever approached me, about what my life’s been reduced to.

“I’ve been thinking all this time. For how much longer must I think before you finally believe me?”

“……A-a week, no, t-two weeks, seven weeks, until your coming-of-age ceremony, no, that’s not it —I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“Then wait. I’ll come back once I’ve finished what I must do. I’ll come back after I’ve come of age, and I’ll come back after thinking a lot more about you, just as you wished. And then, I’ll tell you everything I want to say to you without fail. Will that work? Will you wait for me?”

Renier’s lips were quivering. She couldn’t answer. She could feel the bloody hands wrapped around her cheeks trembling.

She succumbed to temptation yet again. Gulp, gulp —she did her best to swallow as she nodded back.

“Thank you. And…….”

Kuhn hurried took off his outermost layer and untied the string around his neck. It was his necklace with the multi-faceted black rock. He held it in his hands and paused for a moment before placing firmly inside Renier’s.

Renier stared at her hands for a very long time. The blood that Kuhn had shed over it last night, which had since dried, was moistened by the snow and left red marks on her palms. She felt like her hands were on fire.

“……What? Why are you giving me this?”

“I will not go back on a vow that I’ve sworn upon my forefather’s heart. We will meet again without fail. I will leave this with you as proof that I’ll come back for you.”

“Kuhn!”

“We Northlanders never forget our debts or our grudges. Never. Please give me the chance to repay my debt to you properly.”

Debt?

Renier frowned. She felt like her head was cooling. She ruminated over everything that Kuhn had said just now and suddenly felt like she had been doused by icy water.

— I will protect you. From the hands of every animal and beast, from the hands of anyone who tries to hurt you.

— My home is still safer than the divine stone cave.

He had never said anything about being in love. Never. He had never once said anything about being in love in any of the conversations they had ever shared, nor had he ever even said anything close to it.

Does he only want me to come with him so he can repay his debt? Because he doesn’t think that what we did last night counts?

“Your debt? Kuhn, you repaid that last…….”

But Renier wasn’t able to finish her sentence. Kuhn had placed his hand over her mouth while frowning something fierce. He shook his head no as he curtly spat out,

“Let’s pretend last night never happened.”

“What?”

Kuhn was unaware of how Renier’s expression had chanced as he continued explaining himself in his distress.

“I will be honest with you. I despised what we did last night. It was unspeakably dishonorable and shameful, and I never want to think about it ever again. This is why I’d like to pretend it never happened and repay you with something else instead.”

Renier felt like her blood was circulating in reverse. She jumped up to her feet and screamed,

“What do you mean it never happened, you fucking asshole?! This is exactly why I told you to forget about everything!”

She wasn’t angry at Kuhn. But she snapped back to her senses as soon as the words had left her mouth. Oh gods. I was hoping that he harbored special feelings for me even as I kept telling myself over and over again that I mustn’t. I’m acting like I did him some huge favor or something.

I was seriously imagining something as absurd and brazen as a Northlander high priest bringing in a cursed runaway slave from an enemy nation into his chambers.

Renier, you fool. There’s no way that someone who’s about to become a high priest wouldn’t know what it would mean to share the burden of Goddess Inanna’s curse with me. There’s no way he wouldn’t know about how Inanna’s husband and lovers died, went insane, became ill, or otherwise became miserable because of her curses.

And yet, I had the gall to imagine following him into his home and becoming his wife all because of my own desperate needs. It had been brief —only very brief, but she had still imagined it. She was so embarrassed that she wanted to die.

“That’s fucking hilarious! Do you really need to ask me that so desperately? Your head’s thick enough that I’m sure you’re capable of forgetting about everything after a good night’s sleep! And so cleanly that you’ll probably forget that I ever existed in the first place! Cleanly! Screw the fuck off! I don’t want you in my sight! I’ll just leave for another cave if you dare come to find me!”

Renier pushed him away and began running. Kuhn hastily stood up too and grabbed Renier by her clothes. The wool ripped audibly.

He reached out and grabbed her short hair when she sank down and paused ever so briefly. But Renier jumped right back up to her feet, not caring about how some of her hairs were ripped out. And she began running like crazy toward the cedar forest before Kuhn could catch her. It would be hard for him to track her down because the forest would cover her tracks.

“Don’t go! Don’t go! Please don’t go! At least tell me your name! Please! Please!”

he yelled loudly while on all fours and with his hands balled into fists. His shouting gradually turned into wails.

Renier ran while covering her ears so she wouldn’t have to hear him.

It was only after she had run into the forest while sniffling that she realized that she was still holding the black stone he had given her in her hands. She couldn’t hear his voice anymore.

Renier clutched to the stone and sank down to her knees as she began to sob.