CH 25.2

“Are you staying here because you can’t sleep again?”

Late at night, when everyone had already fallen asleep, Domyung, who just returned from his rotation and found his colleague, Seocheon looking at the moon hanging high alone in front of the guard residence, approached him and asked while clicking his tongue. Seocheon gave no answer and only shrugged once. As Domyung said, Seocheon had more nights when he couldn’t sleep properly.

Domyung stood in front of Seocheon and sighed, then he said, 

“Alright, I know well that you’re sad because Hawoon went just like that. Because you two were the closest among us.”

When the name Hawoon flowed out from Domyung’s lips, Seocheon’s expression turned sharp instantly. However, Domyung couldn’t see Seocheon’s eyes that were covered by the darkness and shadow, and he kept going. 

“Do you think we don’t feel anything? It’s rare to find such a good kid like him… I also feel sad and empty. But what can we do? We need to move on. At least thanks to you, we could take care of his body properly. You have done the best.” 

“…”

“What I’m saying is… he would never want you to keep missing him and be sad like this every day. I think you know the best, right? That he was a very kind guy who knew nothing but worrying about others.”

Seocheon’s eyes, which were shining fiercely as if he was ready to grab him by the collar, quickly lost their light when Domyung said that Hawoon would not want him to be like this. 

“So stop being sad and go in. I’m going first.” 

After patting Seocheon’s shoulder a few times, Domyung walked past him and entered inside. Seocheon, who was left alone, lifted his head again and looked at the moon that shone brightly far in the sky. 

What Domyung said was all true. He and Hawoon were not close friends who knew each other from childhood and only got close to each other as lowly guards after entering the imperial palace.

Although it was sad to see his death, even excessive sadness was no different from a luxury for people like Seocheon, so it was right to forget about those who had already died and live their lives from now on. Seocheon knew that as well. If so, where did the feeling of being lost and shaken by the death of someone he knew for a short time come from? 

“Hawoon, it’s a moonlight that you will really like.”

Seocheon muttered as he recalled when he came out with him in this kind of bright moon and the whispered stories they exchanged while looking up to the sky. Hawoon, who was squatting side by side next to him on the stairs, putting his face on his knee and looking at the night sky with a subtle smile, became a form of longing and was redrawn in front of his eyes.

He liked that expression. He liked seeing Hawoon, who talked about beautiful things with a face that seemed like he was never stained with the dirt of this world despite never having an easy moment in his life. Thus, Seocheon came to like the night sky that he had never been interested in before.

“…”

However, the friend he promised to rely on and spend these nights together with in the future, had disappeared before he knew, and Seocheon remained in such a long life and looked at the night sky alone. 

How could life be so cruel to you till the end? 

A night full of sadness continued. And Seocheon would not be able to sleep again today.

***

“Ah…!”

Hwawoon, who couldn’t sleep, raised his body and touched his arm strongly without thinking. He burst out a small moan at the numb pain felt from his wrist and laid back on the bed. 

Hwawoon, who was worrying if Ahjin would hear his moan, covered his mouth with his hand for a while. He breathed a small sigh of relief and relaxed his nervous body only when there was no sign outside.

Hwawoon smiled quietly without realizing it because he remembered Ahjin’s face that looked sad while she held Hwawoon’s wrist until he lay down to sleep as if she was the one who was hurt. Soon, he erased the smile from his face and raised his arm to look at the hand that was grasped by the emperor. 

The spot where the bruise had already come up blue seemed to get worse tomorrow. While silently looking at that bruise, Hwawoon thought about the emperor he saw today.

“What are you?” 

The emperor’s question shot through the current Hwawoon very accurately. He had the body of Yeon Hwawoon, but he was not Yeon Hwawoon. He had lived a life named Hawoon, but he had also lost all of Hawoon’s life.

Even Hwawoon was confused with his life, so there was no need to say how much confusion the emperor had to see a person who he had seen for years suddenly acted like a completely different person.

“There’s no way Yeon Hwawoon can do this. This… you… you can’t do this to me.”

The emperor’s voice sounded very fragile. Like someone who lost their way. Like a frightened boy. Although the emperor held his wrist with a strong force and hurt him, Hwawoon knew that it was not intended to hurt him. 

The emperor was only having a hard time. Because of the change that was suddenly shown by the man Yeon Hwawoon.