CH 34

It wasn’t like he didn’t think of turning his head, but Yihan thought that as the emperor, this method was better than stretching his head to look behind. Soon, he spoke out.

“Put down.”

“Put down the palanquin~!”

After glaring once at the hateful face of Eunuch Oh, who repeated his order with a loud voice when he was already embarrassed, Yihan then slowly put his feet on the ground and raised up his body.

He still hadn’t turned back, but his heart already beat faster. All the senses in his body responded differently just by knowing that person was behind him. Yihan unknowingly let out a long breath as if throwing out the boiling emotions, then he slowly turned his body. Hwawoon was still there. 

A step, then another step. Approaching Hwawoon slowly, Yihan soon stood before Hwawoon and said,

“… Get up.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

Hwawoon got up to his feet while lowering his head a bit. Finally, Yihan’s gaze landed on the clothes worn by Hwawoon. The completely different clothes from the usual ones he wore immediately caught Yihan’s gaze.

His appearance, which was like a beautiful gentleman appreciating the bamboo trees landscape before him, strangely made Yihan’s inside tickle. After looking at Hwawoon for a while without saying anything, Yihan then parted his lips.

“What’s wrong with your appearance?”

It was a question he asked after pushing down his feelings in case he asked strange questions ever again, but turned out, this time too, he let out a cold tone when he didn’t mean to. While Yihan blamed himself inside because his mouth and actions always went astray whenever he stood before Yeon Hwawoon, Hwawoon answered,

“I was wondering if this way of dressing would look better for me, so I tried to wear the clothes I haven’t worn all this time.”

“…”

“… Is this perhaps uncomfortable for you to see, Your Majesty?” 

Although he asked calmly, Hwawoon was also nervous about it inside.

These clothes were able to be found thanks to Ahjin remembering that there were these kinds of clothes in the past. She remembered it because Hwawoon kept asking if there were any clothes that were more modest while looking at Yeonbin’s clothes. From Hwawoon’s perspective, these clothes were surely comfortable, suited for a man, and didn’t go against the law, so he immediately wore them. However, it was inevitable for him to be nervous about wearing it in front of the emperor. 

Based on what Ahjin said, these clothes were never worn except for a few times when Yeonbin had just entered the palace.

Meanwhile, Yihan didn’t give any answer to the question if it was uncomfortable for him to see. The question was too hard for him, no matter how he would answer it. 

If he was asked if he was uncomfortable, then he surely was uncomfortable. It was strangely an appearance that caught his eyes, unfamiliar, and made him awkward. However, if he was asked if that uncomfortableness was something that was completely negative, the answer would be no.

With the clear-colored jade guan, half of the hair with reddish highlight was raised up and fixed with the hairpin, which ends were added with the flowing ribbon. Hwawoon’s appearance was new. It was irritating, unfamiliar, making him feel awkward, also making him couldn’t take his eyes off because it suited him.

Therefore, Yihan, who couldn’t answer if he was uncomfortable, liked it, hated it, or said that it suited him, turned his head. He pretended to look around once and then changed the topic.

“Where did you leave your palanquin, and why are you walking?”  

“Ah… I think I haven’t moved much lately, so I left my palanquin on purpose on my way to give morning greetings to the empress.” 

Hearing Hwawoon’s answer, Yihan looked in the direction of Jeongan Palace for a moment, then spoke again.

“…… The way back and forth between the Empress Palace and Jeongan Palace isn’t short.”

“I know. However, because this is still spring, the weather is warm, and my condition today is good, so it’s not difficult for me.”

“… What? Do you think I asked because I worry if it’s difficult for you?”

“…”

“I asked because it just annoys me seeing you walking in the middle of the road.”

Even though he already spoke with force as if something bothered him, Yihan added some hurtful words. If he spoke like that, then at least he should act confidently. However, after saying that, he strangely was uneasy, so he faced another direction, and then moved his pupils only. He heard the rustling sound from Hwawoon in his blind spot.

When he slightly turned his head, Hwawoon, who didn’t look like he was offended by Yihan’s words, lowered his head while saying,

“Is that so, Your Majesty?”

“…”

“I’ll be more careful next time.”

The calm voice softly moved past Yihan’s ears, just like the spring air. The moment he heard that voice, the emotions inside him that were running wild until earlier turned into something heavy, and Yihan felt his heart touch the ground.

Yihan purposely talked badly because he wanted to get under his skin, but Hwawoon looked like he didn’t get offended by the emperor’s words. Although he did so, Yihan was wary in case Hwawoon would get hurt, but instead, he said he would be more careful and didn’t look hurt at all.

In an instant, Yihan’s heavy gaze stopped at Hwawoon’s face. That’s it—the problem was that calmness. That very side of Yeon Hwawoon that accepted whatever he said and whatever he did was the thing that made Yihan frustrated.

It was different. It was a side that was too different from Yeon Hwawoon before he drowned. Yihan really found this appearance of Hwawoon to be very unfamiliar, difficult, and kept invading his heart. 

Therefore, Yihan suddenly thought he had to know about this unfamiliar Yeon Hwawoon. He wanted to know everything about the unexpected appearance of the one that he thought he already knew thoroughly.

Before, he ran away because he was afraid of the unfamiliar feelings. If he met him, he only ridiculed and insulted him. That was the easiest way to immediately avoid the chaos. Right now, and right here, Yihan once again felt the urge to ignore this feeling and pretend it didn’t exist, but Yihan realized he would never escape from this feeling if he did so.

He was afraid because he ran away. He was sure the fear kept getting stronger because he was frightened and ran away beforehand instead of facing it straight and making sure it was nothing. Therefore, Yihan decided to not run away anymore and face straight his feelings that were surely nothing.

After staring at Hwawoon for a while in silence, the emperor’s lips were slowly opened.

“… I will go to Suhwawon now.”

Yihan knew that what he said was so sudden, but he thought it wouldn’t be hard to know the meaning behind it. Perhaps he realized the message behind Yihan’s words, Hwawoon opened his eyes wide and quickly said,

“Yes, Your Majesty. Please don’t worry.”

“…?”

“I will immediately return to Jeongan Palace, so there won’t be any case of you running into me in Suhwawon like the last time.”

Yihan, who was subconsciously nervous, was shocked at the unexpected answer and then asked, baffled.

“… Do you really can’t read the room?”

If he said that while borrowing Eunuch Oh’s thoughts for a moment, then no doubt it wasn’t Yihan who said that.

***

“Your Highness, please stop thinking about that now.”

Jooah, the court lady of Jeongbin, Songhyun, who had been lying down in the bed since earlier, said that to comfort her. Then, Songhyun threw the blanket she held tightly as she raised her body. She then spoke while puffing her chubby cheeks.

“I must have looked very stupid, didn’t I?”

“… You’re not, Your Highness. There is nothing good about arguing with Yeonbin. You did well.”

Jooah definitely warned Songhyun to not approach Yeonbin, but even so, she couldn’t blame her master for not hearing her advice. She was worried that if her master provoked Yeonbin, she would gain nothing but curses, but fortunately, it ended well.

Well, it rather felt like Songhyun surrendered to Yeonbin, but Jooah decided to treat it as her imagination. While still looking down, Songhyun continued,

“You see… Yeonbin suddenly comforted me there… It strangely reminded me of my brother.” 

Jooah responded with a little ah at Songhyun’s words. She felt she finally knew why Songhyun suddenly turned meek back then.

Songhyun as the youngest had an older brother that was quite older than her. He treated Songhyun gently ever since she was a child and their bond was strong. She talked about her longing for her brother much more than her longing for her parents, so it was obvious how attached she was to her brother.

“There’s nothing similar between them…”

Songhyun muttered while pouting her small lips. Just like what she said, Songhyun’s brother was far different from Yeonbin. Let alone as a brother, in the past, Songhyun never thought of Yeonbin as a man.

However, today, when she saw Yeonbin with an elegant look saying the emperor would soon cheer her up, she oddly was reminded of her brother who always hugged her whenever she sulked. Her heart sank at that.

“My brother is a very gentle person, so how could I compare him to Yeonbin…”

She kept thinking like that after she returned to her room. There was no way she could compare Yeonbin to her precious brother. She convinced herself such a thing was impossible unless something wrong happened to her head.

However, as she thought about it again, the kind face of her brother that would hear everything she said kept overlapping before Yeonbin’s face she saw today. She kept thinking of Yeonbin, who she could meet at a close distance instead of her brother, whom she couldn’t meet as she wished anymore. 

Songhyun let out a long sigh and then laid down on the bed again. She felt she might really miss her family.