Chapter 54 - Sex Without Attachment

"Oh! You look fantastic." She told Jacky, who was going out again with Marcus tonight.

Until now, she was still wondering what was their relationship status. They went out on occasion, she came back in the morning, but she claimed that they were not a couple.

"Oh, I'm not looking for fantastic. I want hot, desirable." Jacky corrected her. "I want Marcus to drool over me during dinner. I want him all over me before the night is over."

She certainly looked hot and desirable. She sometimes wished she could be as daring as Jacky when it came to her sexuality. Casual sex without commitment. Without the worries of being attached. She wished she could be as vocal as her friend about what she wanted and needed.

The only time that she dared to do that was more than a year ago, but she believed she could not do that again. Not after that night.

She might look tough on the outside, but she knew herself. She easily got attached and when she did, it would be hard for her to let go. Because she did not want to be left broken again if it ended.

"Ok. You are hot and desirable in that dress." She conceded to feeding her friend's ego.

"You also looked great, but if you want to look hot, you better change," Jacky commented on her dress, scrunching her eyes and nose to stress how much she disliked what her friend was wearing. "You looked like you're going to a trial rather than going on a date."

"No, I'm not." She knew Jacky was exaggerating, but her friend was right, she did not look hot in her dress. It was a good dress if she was going out with a client and not on a date to impress.

She too was going on a date with Alex tonight. After she called him this morning about the contract, he insisted that they should meet tonight to get to know more about each other. Their story must look believable to his family and hers for this arrangement to work.

She suggested that they just exchanged information through an email, but he said that it was too impersonal. They also had to work on their chemistry when they were among other people. If they were to pass up as a couple, they should not look stiff when they were together.

"Be honest with me, don't you find Alex even a bit interesting?" Jacky knew the answer to that. She had seen her friend got fired up every time Alex's name came up. She knew her friend when she was being defensive. It only meant one thing. She was deeply affected by him.

"Yes, I think he is. But I find all my clients interesting." She answered Jacky using her logical thinking. She was not lying about that.

"Let me rephrase my question. Do you find Alex attractive? Like you want him to bang you as if there is no tomorrow." Jacky stated, putting a great emphasis on her last sentence. "Don't you ever fantasize about having hot, wild sex with him?"

She was not shocked by Jacky's crude words. She was used to it, but she was not sure how to answer her question without lying to her friend. If her friend only knew that she already did and it was not just in her fantasy.

"No need to answer that. It's all over your face. You know you can have sex with him and not fall in love. Look at me. I just enjoy the ride." Jacky wanted to encourage her friend to loosen up. To slightly live on the edge because she was too uptight.

Jacky was not exactly built this way, but her experiences in the past slowly changed her. Just like her friend, she was scarred by love. But it did not stop her to enjoy life. She just did not believe in it anymore. Without love in the equation, she was not expecting much.

"It's not that easy for me." She tried to explain to Jacky that she was not sure if she could do what Jacky was doing.

Just looked at what happened to her. One night with him and he became the star of her every dream. What more if she would allow that to happen again. She was afraid that she might eventually develop some feelings for him.

"It can be. You just needed some practice. Falling in love is just a condition in the mind. All you have to do is shut it down." Jacky wished that her friend could truly find true love if that was what she was destined to have.

But for now, Jacky wanted her friend to live a little. Life was meant to be explored, to have fun. She hated seeing her friend wasting her life away. Devoting her life to her work and her cause. Not that there was something wrong with it. But it should not be her only life.

"I don't know if I can do that." She was still hesitant about what Jacky was suggesting. She believed she could not have a casual fling with Alex without becoming emotionally attached to him.

But six months of playing the role of his girlfriend. Constantly being at his side. Could she also fight the attraction she always had with him? Then again, maybe Jacky was right. Maybe she could use this time to purge him out of her system.

"You can. Now, go back to your room and change. I hope you're not wearing a granny panty underneath those clothes." Jacky raised one of her eyebrows at her, implying that she was serious.

She went back to her room, unsure if she should even consider Jacky's words. Was she ready to have a casual relationship with just any man? Well, Alex was not just any man. Her mind reminded her. He was Adonis, as Jacky mentioned before.

She once again looked at her collection of clothes, and after searching, she finally found a dress that Jacky would be proud of. She took it out and started replacing the one she was wearing.

Looking at the mirror, she knew it was the perfect dress. It would certainly make a man drool over her. If Alex was still interested in her, she could certainly seduce him to want her. But was she ready for that? Sex without attachment.