CH 15

Vincent’s hideout. Livia had thought that Vincent might be there.

But Vincent wasn’t there, either because it was sunny or because she knew of that place.

Where the hell was he?

Despite her attempts to think of other places Vincent frequented in the original, she could not come up with any.

But he wouldn’t have been able to leave the mansion.

There was no way that Vincent got out because the duchy’s security was very strict, and the management of the walls was also thorough. 

Above all, Vincent, who had a severe social phobia, couldn’t go outside the residence.

In the end….

Livia turned her head and looked at the duke’s mansion, which looked like a small toy house from a distance. 

A despondent laugh escaped her lungs.

“That means I have to look through everything.”

Eventually, a sigh that she couldn’t hold back slipped out as well.

***

The time of despondency was not long.

Livia immediately started to search through the places Vincent might have gone.

After looking around the main building, she looked around the annexes. Duke Mercedes’s residence was so vast that it was difficult to search everywhere, but it was not difficult to search only the places where there were fewer people.

However, even after searching the entirety of the buildings, not even a single strand of Vincent’s silver hair was found.

Meanwhile, by the time the sun set and the moon and the stars rose, Livia began to doubt her choice.

Should she have just told Winston?

If they had used more people to find Vincent, they might have found him by now.

But if she had done that, Vincent’s trust in her would have completely disappeared. All the tutors have tried to solve their problems with Vincent through Winston so far.

Besides, if Winston was informed about this, it was sure he would be informed as well.

Livia was sure Cardien would find out.

She didn’t want to give him the impression that she was incompetent.

Where else could Vincent go besides the west hill?

Livia again pondered the original work, but nothing came to mind.

In the first place, stories about Vincent didn’t take up much space in the original.

She changed her mind while shaking her head. She wouldn’t rely too much on the original work.

If she came upon this situation without knowing the original, then what would she do?

Vincent was still young.

When young children had a hard time, they tended to rely on adults. But there was no adult in this house that Vincent could rely on.

Cardien was indifferent to Vincent, and Winston was taking over as a guardian, but he could not look into Vincent’s heart.

And the western hill had already been discovered by Livia.

Then, where was the young Vincent hiding, with no one to rely on?

Come to think of it…..

Livia remembered her past life.

The orphanage was a nice place.

Although poor, there was no abuse or starvation that was common, and the director and the nursery teacher were kind.

But they couldn’t be both guardians and family.

The children, who knew that they were abandoned by their parents, were afraid of being abandoned again, and because of that, they didn’t speak up even if they had a hard time.

And the one who played the role of a parent for such children….

It was Livia’s role, as the eldest.

She was the spiritual guardian of the children until her disease broke out.

Not only did she provide life guidance, but she also scolded the children when they did something wrong, and stood by them when they were emotionally struggling.

‘Yes, it was like that,’ Livia recalled. When she thought of the children, a smile naturally came to her face. 

Even though she got sick and couldn’t see them anymore.

Some of the children were similar to Vincent.

One child, who was abandoned at the orphanage after experiencing domestic abuse at home, had a hard time adapting to the life of the nursery school.

Worried about her, Livia asked the director to let her share a room with the girl.

It was one day.

Livia woke up thirsty at dawn, but there was no child in bed.

Surprised, she was about to go out to look for the child, when she suddenly noticed a sign of movement in the room.

The place where the sound came from….

“Yeah, that’s right.”

A cornered child cannot run far.

The present Vincent was literally cornered, and if so….

“No way.”

Livia turned her head.

Towards Vincent’s room.

***

“Heuk, Heuk….”

Vincent shed tears, surrounded by darkness.

‘I’m an idiot.’

Anna’s words that Livia would hate him for being stupid drove Vincent into extreme fear.

Vincent couldn’t figure out why.

So far, countless tutors had been disappointed in Vincent and left. Some of them even left after pouring out evil words.

But even then, he wasn’t afraid.

Rather, he felt relieved that they had left. Disappointing them was just a part of the process to kick them out.

Livia was just one of them.

But– 

‘Why is it so scary? Why am I so frightened?’

Just imagining Livia leaving after looking down at him with a cold stare and saying “I’m disappointed” made him feel like his heart was being torn apart.

‘I shouldn’t have been hiding.’

Vincent quickly regretted it and tried to leave, but when he saw Livia’s expression of disappointment because of the empty room, his body stiffened like a stone statue and he couldn’t move.

After that, Livia had left the room, but Vincent continued to be trapped in his room in a flood of shame, guilt and fear.

‘I’m sure you’ll hate me.’

As with all private tutors so far, Livia will be for sure leaving disappointed because he refused to take classes.

‘Then I…..’

“Heuk, h-hic….hic…” 

At that time he couldn’t hold back the flood of tears and covered his lips with both hands.

Suddenly, the tightly closed door opened and the moonlight came in.

Vincent raised his head and opened his eyes wide in surprise.

“Found you.”

A smiling Livia appeared clearly before him.

***

Livia gasped and looked at the terrified Vincent, who was crouched in a corner of the closet.

‘As expected….!’

Children are so innocent and pure that they hide in these closets which they consider to be fortresses.

He had no idea how flimsy and defenseless this closet was.

“Haah.”

Taking a deep breath, Livia calmly looked at Vincent. Then she slowly parted her lips.

“……Vincent.”

Flinch.

Vincent, who was trembling, only moved his eyes and looked up at her. The obvious emotion engraved in his eyes was fear.

Livia bent her shoulders and opened her lips again.

“You…..”

“Sorry, I’m sorry……” Vincent stammered. 

“Do you know how worried I was?”

“…….?”

At Livia’s words, Vincent looked up at her with surprised eyes.

When she realized that she had finally found Vincent, she sighed deeply and sat down on the spot. Her legs felt weak with relief.

“…….I…….!”

Surprised Vincent crawled out from the corner to the front.

Without missing a moment, Livia hugged Vincent tightly.

“……!”

She could feel that Vincent’s body hardened like a tree. 

She just patted Vincent on the back and whispered, “How surprised I was when you were gone. I wondered if something had happened.”

“…….”

Then Vincent, who had been silent, spoke carefully.

“Actually……”

“Hmm?”

“Didn’t you……. feel disappointed?”

He struggled to make eye contact with Livia while being held in her arms.

His shaking red eyes were filled with complex emotions. In the end Vincent averted his eyes, and said, “Because I ran away….”

“Ah.”

Livia was wondering about what he was saying, and soon nodded in understanding.

Then she answered with a sincere voice.

“Of course, I was taken aback at first, but I thought that could be a possibility at the beginning.”

“What do you mean…?”

“Because you are young and inexperienced, and we don’t know each other yet. Strangers can be scary, and you can run away from them. I’m just……”

“…….”

Vincent slowly turned his head towards her again and made eye contact.

Livia continued with a gentle smile.

“As long as you don’t run away completely. It’s okay to run away as long as it isn’t too far – like this closet. You can run, as long as it’s not too far away for me to catch up to you.”

“………”

“It’s okay, Vincent.”

Vincent’s lips trembled.

Before she knew it, big tears were dripping from his eyes.

Finally–

“Sorry…….I’m sorry… heuk.”

Vincent dug into her arms with a sob.

And Livia wrapped her arms silently around him.

***

After Vincent stopped crying, the two of them went out to get some fresh air.

They couldn’t go far because it was night, so they took a walk in the garden while holding hands tightly, then sat side by side on a bench in front of the fountain.

There was no conversation for a while. Vincent just sniffled and looked at her.

Only the sound of grass bugs crying interrupted the silence.

How long had it been like that?

As Vincent’s sniffles slowly subsided, Livia called Vincent’s name quietly.

“Vincent.”

Flinch.

When Vincent’s name was called, he shuddered slightly and answered with difficulty.

“……. Yes?”

Livia noticed Vincent hesitantly wringing his hands.

She looked at him and calmly asked, “What were you afraid of?”

Vincent looked at her with big round eyes as if her question was unexpected. 

Looking into those eyes, Livia continued.

“Because there was something scary, you must have avoided me and hid in the closet.” 

“……..”

“I’m not getting angry. However, I can only know if you tell me how you feel.”

At first glance, Livia thought she knew what Vincent was afraid of, but what she inferred and what she heard in person were quite different.

Also, Vincent would be able to organize his mind through words if he attempted to explain his feelings to her.

And she wanted to hear it from him. 

It was okay to run away, and it was okay to share how he felt.

“That’s…..”

Vincent, who was hesitating, soon answered, as if he had plucked up his courage.

Livia couldn’t hide her surprise at the reply that soon came back.