Chapter 33: Blood Lust – Part III

The sharp fangs pierced the skin and sunk into the flesh. My parched mouth started salivating and the taste of blood spread throughout.

The frustration I felt at the depths of my heart dies down if only just a little.

My vision clears up. Senri does not seem to have realized what I am up to. I take care not to let Senri notice my actions and bite harder.

My fangs sunk into my left arm and my own blood slowly flowed into my mouth.

I felt a dull throb but it was nothing compared to blood lust I had felt a while ago.

My backup plan to resist blood lust, is to drink my own.

The pain brings back my sanity. Even ingesting my own blood seems to help with the illusion of assuaging my thirst. Although it does not really go away.

I discovered this trick when I separated from Senri one night in order to hunt for food. A beast suddenly attacked and wounded me and that is when the realization happened.

The wound itself healed right away, but when I licked the blood off my arm, though nowhere as potent as Senri’s, it was able to calm down my blood lust a little.

I remember reading that vampires are only capable of drinking the blood of humans. However, it seems even another vampire’s blood is capable of assuaging thirst, though not all that effective.

It goes without saying that it is no more than a stopgap measure. Nothing can change the fact that I am almost at the end of my tether, however, I will take what I can get for now.

I kept an eye on Senri, as I ingested blood that was terribly bitter unlike hers.

Well, considering how I could survive after having my head lopped off, this may be a bit of a contradiction, but I should be able to survive even if my body was drained of all blood. My body does not require blood as a substance. Otherwise, it would make no sense why I cannot make do with animal blood.

Now that I had calmed down, my brain began to work again.

Oh right, how about I go find Roux’s body? I can drink the blood off her corpse.

I do feel bad about it, but it should be fine if I give her a proper burial once again. I am sure Roux would not hold it against me either.

I still have strength left in my legs. Would I be able to get there if I left Senri behind and ran at full speed? Although I am not confident I can make it back in time, it should not be impossible. I reckon my thirst is too strong now because I am near Senri, who is basically prey of the finest quality. There is a possibility that my thirst will die down a little if I am alone.

Senri came to a stop near bumbling brook.

I take my arm out of my mouth before she turns around. The minute I stop drinking my own blood, my head becomes all heated up but I bear with it. My blood clots almost immediately, so I do not need to worry about her noticing anything amiss with my arm.

We had split up duties between us. Senri who had excellent survival skills took care of keeping the fire while I, who only had a tough body to boast about, went in search of food.

I will bite into my arm once I separate from Senri. I should be able to bear with my thirst if I drink my fill of water.

I need to be careful not to cross running water though…

I got to my feet when I felt a light tug on my arm.

“End…”

“I’m still good. It’s soon going to be morning, I need to gather food and dig a hole.”

It is at times like this that one needs to maintain their calm.

I need blood immediately. I did not look into her eyes before I shook off her hand, dashed out of there and away from Senri.

☠☠ ☠

My breathing was ragged. I felt like something was squeezing my heart.

Although Senri’s blood is of the finest quality and it brought me the kind of pleasure that could never be replaced by anything, bitter tasting blood is not all that bad either.

I sat down on the ground, and screwed my fangs into my right arm.

A vampire’s fangs are made in such a way so as to facilitate the process of sucking blood. I focus on gulping down the bitter, cold fluid that flowed into my mouth.

Feeding on Senri brought me pleasure, but this does not. The victim is not supposed to feel any pain during the act but I do feel a dull throb.

I do not give a damn about the pain. I need to control my blood lust.

Unfortunately there was not a lot of blood in the right arm as compared to the left arm, although the blood flowed out more easily. My skin that was pale to begin with, had turned even paler and looked drained of all blood.

It was not surprising as it was not the first time I had bit into them. The blood I take in does not go right back into circulation.

The Lord’s illusion levitated in the air and looked at me expressionlessly. Almost like a Grim Reaper.

However I completely disregarded it and thrust my tongue into the wound.

The feeling of cold flesh. As ironic as it may sound, the monstrous and repulsive act of devouring my own body brought back some of my humanity.

Such thoughts crossed my mind, but none of that matters anymore.

I need to survive even a second longer. I need to think of something before I turn into a complete monster.

For instance… oh, right! If I recall correctly, beasts resembling monkeys dwell in this forest. How about I drink their blood?

There are chances that blood from a species closest to humans could quench my thirst—

“End…”

“?!”

Suddenly, I heard Senri’s voice from close quarters. I panicked and turned to the direction of her voice.

Right there she was, a few feet away from me, looking at me through those purple eyes.

I had not even noticed her get so close. I tried to open my mouth to speak, and that is when I realized that my fangs were still sunk into my right arm.

My meal was interrupted. A strange annoyance stirred in me.

However, I was still capable of discerning that as a monster’s thought.

She caught me in the act. No humans would ever gnaw at their own arm.

My mind gears started turning.

It is alright. It should still be fine. I still have not harmed Senri.

Senri tries to approach me but I raise my left arm that was still fine to stop her.

“Ahh, I’m alright. I haven’t gone mad. My own blood is capable of quenching my thirst a little.”

“…”

Oh right. It completely slipped my mind. I realized why Senri had come here.

I left in search of food. However, I do not know how long I was sitting here totally absorbed in drinking blood.

I… made her worry. The world started spinning. The delicious scent was closing in.

The scent made my bitter blood seem delicious.

A dying monster was reflected in her eyes.

Senri whispered, “ End… don’t push yourself.”

“I’m not. I’m still good. Oh right! Hear this. I thought of something that would help.”

I looked up at my arms. There were a number of bite marks left on them.

A wound of this caliber would heal right away before, but even after observing them for some time, they showed no signs of healing. I suppose my body no longer has the strength for that. Well… the wounds are not exactly fatal, they would not kill me.

I took deep breaths to calm down my quivering body. My mouth felt heavy and unlike my own as I tried to speak.

“I was thinking of digging up Roux’s grave. It hasn’t been too long since she passed and it won’t bring trouble to anyone. I’m sure Roux would forgive me for it.”

“End…”

Oh, that’s right! The Lord had a lot of corpses in the cellar.

I could use those. I had totally forgotten about them. The mansion has already been reduced to rubble, but I wonder if they have rotten.

I could not linger there for a long time since the Death Knights could be after me, but that place might have been my safe haven for all I know.

Senri looked close to tears. Her voice shook.

“Vampires… suck out life energy through the blood. That’s why, blood from corpses won’t do and a blood transfusion would have no effect either.”

“Ehh… I didn’t… know that.”

I had not expected that. I am at a loss. I have lost the only hope I had held on to break the deadlock.

I wish I had known that before. The vestiges of the Lord are useless.

He has only popped up twice and both times he failed to give me any useful information. Since he is an illusion, I cannot drink his blood either.

“I… know a lot about vampires too. The Death Knights are still investigating about the weaknesses of vampires . They know you better than you know yourself.”

She is right. Any information I possess is what I got from the books in the Lord’s library.

Not to mention, the books only held basic information and I had not read deep into the vampire lore.

It is cold. My body is as cold as a corpse. I have no idea what to do.

“Do… you intend to kill me?”

“…”

Senri said nothing. I am sure she has realized that I am at the end of my tether.

I can no longer hide it. I do not know what will happen to me from here on out but I am certain she does.

Well, I still might be able to endure it, but eventually there will come a time when I would not be able to.

“All I want… is to survive. To live the continuation of my life from before when I was bedridden. I don’t resent humans. I’m not an evil vampire. I just get this irresistible urge to drink blood at times… and like I said before, I have never attacked humans either. Not including you sharing your blood with me when I was but a head.”

I guess there is no helping it. The Death Knights are originally an enemy of the undead.

I would not hold it against her. However, struggle against my fate I must.

Even if my opponent is someone who once saved my life before, I need to fight back if they come for my head.

Every second felt like an eternity.

Reassurance. To win her over, I need to reassure her.

“I promise. I will never leave these woods. I don’t need the salvation death would give me.”

No. It is of no use. There is no way I can win her over with words. It would take nothing but a mere touch for her to kill me.

My head felt hot and I had a hard time collecting my thoughts. What would I even accomplish by killing her?

Words spilled out desperately.

“Maybe a miracle will happen again… I mean, it has already happened twice… of course, that is if you let me go.”

Right! It may be good to borrow the wisdom of the vestige of the vestige of the vestige.

I do not intend to hand over the reins of my body to the Lord, but I doubt he would want me completely gone. Our objective should be the same.

I can still run. However, it is rather impossible to escape the Senri’s holy light that brought down that gigantic dragon.

Epée has keen insight. The silver sword he asked me to return to Senri made sure that she was still a member of the Order of Death Knights. I could not afford to not return it to her when I considered the possibility that she might find out about it later.

I could not try to flee either. Because I had no idea how wide her range of detecting undead was.

I never had a path to choose since the very beginning.

The dawn is almost upon us. Even if she were to let me off now, I doubt I would have the time to dig a hole.

I cannot think of a way to break out of this deadlock.

I am tired. Even thinking exhausts me. I smiled sadly.

At that moment, I felt something cold touch my cheeks.

It was Senri’s hand. I had not noticed her make any move as my senses were not working the way they should.

My head feels foggy and my eyes cloudy. I cannot smell anything. My instincts were on fire and trying to override reason.

However, even if I were to turn into a monster, Senri’s blessing can easily reduce me to zero.

I steeled my heart when Senri’s lips parted.

“End… I want… you to rely on me more. Trust me…”

I did not expect her to say that. I blanked out for a minute.

Her right hand was on my cheek. Her thumb entered my mouth and brushed against my fangs.

“You did… your best. I’m sorry but I did realize what was happening. I also knew… you were drinking your own blood but I couldn’t bring myself to call out to you.”

My fangs pierced the ball of her finger and warm blood filled my mouth. The impact of it jolted me awake.

Her wounded finger brushed against my tongue. Maybe it hurt, for Senri’s face twitched.

However, Senri brushed it off and continued to speak.

Just the same as when we conversed in front of Roux’s grave before, I could sense the compassion behind her cold voice.

However, unlike then, Senri is now aware of my monstrous nature and that I am not a vampire who would not even harm a fly.

I took advantage of Epée’s weakness to escape from him. In addition, I have hunted several beasts until now. Someone who could hunt a beast could very well hunt man.

After taking all of that into consideration, she is still going to take my side. Did I get that right?

“A person’s real nature manifests itself on the verge of death. I heard you loud and clear. I will help you. I won’t… kill you. Could you tell me more… about yourself? We have a lot to talk about. If we do that, I’m sure everything will be just fine.”

“… Senri… you…doo… Dell me… more… aboud yourselp?”

I asked her like a moron as I licked the blood off her finger. In response to my question Senri’s eyes widened and a faint smile adorned her lips.

“Hmm. I will.”