Volume 4 - CH 2

Volume 4: Bargain Sale on Magic Power

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Dazzling light. The hustle and bustle of the tavern.

Ryner Lute was, as usual, collapsed on a table in the corner. He was also, as usual, messy from sleep and dead inside.

“Ah, I’m so tired…”

He always said that. It was like he didn’t even know what it was like to sleep.

“Hey, you,” a woman said. She sounded saucy. “You look like you’ve got some extra time on your hands.”

Ryner looked up without moving an inch from where he lay with his head on the table. “Hmm?”

A woman with overly revealing clothes stood above him. Her breasts were practically spilling out of her red dress, which barely covered anything. Her blonde hair was shoulder length and frayed as if she’d dyed it over and over again. She’d applied red blush to her cheeks. Agewise, she was probably around twenty years old.

“My name’s Leisha,” she said. “You look like you’re a pretty good guy. What do you think about me? I can give you some services. After all, sleeping alone is lonely… isn’t it?”

“Ahh… I guess I kinda expected that,” Ryner mumbled. 

Leisha smiled, big and bright. “What else are a man and a woman supposed to do together? I have to say, though. I’m not cheap. But we’re young, and that’s why I think we could have a good time, you know?”

So that’s what that was about. 

Sure enough, when Ryner looked around at all the other men in the tavern, big and rowdy, he could kind of see why she came to him. She didn’t really fit in here with her pretty face. 

But Ryner didn’t care about that kind of thing, and it showed in his voice. “Sorry. You’ll have to look elsewhere.”

“You’re no fun. So you wouldn’t be able to get into it with a girl like me?”

“No, that’s not the probl…”

Ryner’s voice trailed off. Everyone in the building had gone quiet. How could he continue?

The door opened, and a woman stepped in. She had blonde hair that seemed to sparkle, and perfect features, especially when one looked into her clear blue eyes. 

She was a peerless beauty. Nobody could find fault in heer appearance. She was hardly even human. The only problem was that her expression entirely lacked warmth. Even so, at her level, that made her mysterious, not off-putting. 

She made a beeline towards Ryner.

“……”

Once she was closer her blue eyes focused on Leisha, who shivered, but soon recovered with a confident smile. “You don’t want to be seen with a woman of the night since you have such a pretty girlfriend, right?”

The beauty’s eyes narrowed and she shook her head as if the thought itself was ridiculous. “What kind of nonsense is that? I have no such relationship with this man. Do you know what kind of person he is?”

Just then, Ryner realized what she was about to say. “Hey, Ferris. Enough with your half-truths and half-lies… wait, no—enough of your full lies. You’re starting rumors…”

As usual, Ferris completely ignored him and launched straight into it. “This man comes here often and takes girls home every time he does. He then locks them up in his personal torture chamber, and does this and that… and even that!?”

Ferris’ expression stayed blank, but even so, she turned bright red. She used her hands to cutely cover her face, and continued in a state of emotionless excitement. “In any case, he does a number of lawless things on his victim, so bad that even I cannot imagine it… As you surely understand by now, he is a legendary deviant. And yet you believe that we’re lovers?”

She didn’t hesitate to spread lies. Not even for a second.

“I should really be used to this by now, but how can you be so… unreserved about all this?” Ryner asked, sick of her bullshit. “Whatever though. It’s not like anyone would actually believe—”

Leisha was pale as a ghost. She held onto her own shivering arms and stared. “N-no… to think that a miserable looking man like this would do that! I, I really do hate working like this… I wish I could go against my patron, but I… I’m going back to my hometown! I’ll start from square one!”

Ferris nodded, satisfied. “Mm. That’s good. She’ll never forget this fear. And so the legend of the fiendish deviant Ryner Lute continues…”

Leisha nodded. “I’ll pass this onto my children. My whole family will be careful from now on.”

“Of course. Now go.”

“Thank you so much, ma’am,” Leisha said. She bowed deeply, then ran off.

The tavern erupted in applause.

“…What kind of conclusion is that…?” Ryner whispered at the hard-to-understand scene before him. He felt deeply alone. 

Ferris turned to him. “So?”

“Don’t ‘so’ me!”

“Mm? Did you want to spend more time with her? I see. So your indifferent act was to negotiate her price down…”

“…No. Why did it turn out like this…”

“Hm. I see. You’re right. Price means nothing when you plan on killing her in the end anyway.”

“…Okay, okay. That’s enough of that.”

And that was indeed enough.

The tavern’s owner brought them their food and drinks. He set them on the table next to the one that Ryner was collapsed on. “Ah, um, don’t worry about the price - it’s on the house. Eat up.”

They’d been eating dinner here every day for a while now. This was the same place where they knocked everyone out a few days ago actually, which probably had something to do with why the owner was terrified of them and their food was free… 

Ryner looked a bit troubled. “Getting free food like this is dangerous.”

“Hm? Do you have a problem with it?”

“I mean, this is basically extortion,” Ryner said. “Doesn’t it make you feel a little bad for him? Like, don’t you have a guilty conscience?”

“I see. I understand your perspective. What flavor is that chicken you’re holding?”

“This? I dunno. It’s pretty good, though. Just like everything else here.”

“Mm. If they only carried dango, I wouldn’t have a single complaint.”

“Oh, and I want to eat meat and potato stew. I haven’t had home cooking like that ever since Kiefer left. Isn’t there any stew here?”

So… about that guilty conscience? 

No one there had the heart to say it, but seriously, where was it?

But anyway.

The door opened as they were eating, and men in black suits poured in, with a boy of twelve or thirteen at their center. He had straight black hair and intelligent black eyes. He wore a shrine maiden’s outfit tailored to his tastes. 

Ryner knew him. His name was Vois Fiurelle, and he led one of the two major organizations in the Iyet Republic known as the Fiurelle Group.  

“Ugh, what the hell does he want from us this time?” Ryner muttered.

Vois didn’t seem to notice Ryner and Ferris at all. Instead, his eyes focused on the tavern’s owner. “Hey, Mr. Pourna. How’s your health?”

“A-ah, I’m managing, somehow…”

“Well, that’s good,” Vois said. “That means that the thing we talked about before is going well, right?”

“I, err… it’s tough,” he said, tears in his eyes. “I can’t keep paying that much money every month. Please, have mercy…” 

Vois’ expression was kind. “What are you saying, Mr. Pourna? Our motto is that we have nothing but fraternity and charity, you know? We are, above all else, a charitable and merciful organization, so you don’t need to beg us for mercy. By the way, do you know what our motto means?”

“Huh? Of course I do,” Pourna said. “The ‘charity’ part is about having compassion for other people. As for ‘fraternity,’ it’s like… the feelings you have for your friends. I don’t have a dictionary on hand, though, so I could be wrong…”

Vois’ expression suddenly changed. He grimaced, then shook his head as if pitying the tavern’s owner. “This is rather troubling, Mr. Pourna. It seems that you don’t understand what our motto really means.”

“Aah… so I was wrong?”

Vois nodded gravely. “It’s all about the nuance. When you mess that up, it ruins the delicacy of it all. There are more and more people who don’t understand what words really mean nowadays. I truly believe that slang is proof of the corruption of kids these days.”

And yet there he was, all of thirteen years old… 

For some reason or other, the owner was moved by Vois’ speech. “You’re exactly right. The youth of today can’t even speak well. My son is almost fifteen, and he calls me ‘lame’ of all things.”

“Right? You must have manners before you have order,” Vois said. “That’s why I urge everyone to understand the true meaning of our motto. Adults like us have to be there to show the youth how to act in this disorderly age, no matter how strict we have to be about it.”

“Y-yes, of course. Would you please tell me the true meaning of your motto?”

“Of course. I’ve intended to do so since the beginning,” Vois said. A macho man whose pecs were basically exploding through his black suit stepped up. “Okay, Borcas. Please enlighten this man on the true meaning of our motto of fraternity and charity.”

Borcas readied a punch, and then… 

Wham!

…a section of the wooden bar was nothing but splinters. It was clear that he had superhuman strength. 

“Stop your yammering and give us da money, or we’ll fold you three times and chop you up!” Borcas roared, his voice rumbling loud from his entire body. 

The tavern went silent. Everyone just watched to see what Vois and the macho man would do next.

Vois smiled sweetly now that everyone’s attention was on him. “Everyone here understands the meaning of ‘fraternity and charity’ now, correct? We are now passing a bag around. Please show us your endless ‘fraternity and charity’ by placing your money within the bag!” Only then did Vois’ expression change. His smile turned dark. “We can ensure the safety of everyone here when the bag is full.”

His smile was that of a demon’s… 

Meanwhile, Ryner was absolutely fed up with his nonsense. “I don’t even know what to say.”

The demon boy began to pass the bag in question around. Everyone, despair-stricken as they were, emptied their pockets into it out of fear.

The bag eventually reached Ryner and Ferris.

“So I’m supposed to put money in this?” Ryner asked. His eyes hadn’t widened at all despite the situation. He looked exactly as tired as always.

“It’s really quite a small request considering your safety is at stake,” Vois said before recognition set in. “Wait, you’re…”

Vois’ surprise was palpable. He looked away from Ryner, then suddenly threw the bag he was holding away and smiled.

“Oh my, you saw that, Mr. Ryner?” Vois asked, sweet as could be. “I’m so embarrassed. You see, as our Fiurelle Group practices nothing short of fraternity and charity, we just couldn’t leave these people in need alone.”

Same shit, different day.

Ryner was absolutely fed up with him. “You say that no matter what you’re doing,” he said. “But no matter how I look at it, what’s really going on here is that an evil organization is threatening the weak to line their own pockets.”

Vois’ perfect smile was unaffected by Ryner’s comment. “No, no, I believe that you’re misunderstanding the situation. We’re saving them. You see, we are nothing short of emotionally liberating them through removing their materialism. It’s all for their personal development. People these days are overly bound by their meaningless material possessions, don’t you think?”

“So that’s why you’re stealing from them?”

“Oh, no, we weren’t stealing. We planned to give it back shortly.”

“Hmm… so you’re telling me that the macho man Borcas over there stuffing the money into his pockets is all in my imagination?”

“Yes, it’s all your imagination.”

“Hmmm… so I’m just imagining that his pockets are getting so big that he looks pregnant?”

“You’re having full-blown hallucinations? Mr. Ryner, you need to use drugs in moderation from now on.”

“……”

What could he even say to that?

A long silence passed between them… 

Then Vois groaned and covered his mouth with both hands in a distinctly girlish gesture. “Mr. Ryner, I can’t believe that you’d misunderstand things to that extent… Vois is sad.”

“That’s gross. Knock it off.”

“Ah, so that’s how you talk to me? I’m a thirteen year old boy trying something out for the first time, and you’re going to talk to me like that? I see how it is. It’s that adult-like selfishness of yours that makes kids like me greedy.”

“Augh, god, just shut up already! You have absolutely no intention of returning their money!”

“You know me so well. It is unwise to keep money in the hands of the ignorant. It’s better if it belongs to the respectable Fiurelle Group, which will use it with fraternity and charity in mind to save the masses,” Vois said, carefree as ever.

“…Ah… umm…”

As much as Ryner wanted to say something, he was at the verge of giving up. He settled with a sigh.

“Whatever. Just… whatever. Take the money and go. I know you’re not gonna do a single respectable thing with it, though.”

Vois’ smile returned to his face. “Speaking of which, Mr. Ryner, I have a favor to ask—”

“Auughhh you have some fucking nerve! I’m not doing shit for you this time! You’ll never trick me again. Ferris, don’t let him lure you in with dango. Ferris. He hasn’t actually given you any dango at all, right?”

“Hm?” Ferris took a moment to think. “Come to think of it, you’re right. He never paid us for the last job we did for him.”

“Yes! I knew it! See, Vois! You can’t scare me into doing anything, so if you can’t persuade Ferris either, then it’s settled. We’re never doing anything for you ever again.”

“Of course, we aren’t forcing you,” Vois said, radiating innocence. “Why not? Well, we’re an organization based on fraternity and charity. Will you at least hear me out?”

“Nope,” Ryner said without a shred of hesitation. “We’re not doing it, so there’s no point in hearing it either.”

“I see, so you’ll listen to me. I knew you were kind beyond words, Mr. Ryner.”

“I said that we’re not listening…”

“That’s all I really want - your full attention.”

“I just said—” 

“If I recall correctly, it was a rainy day…”

“…Ugh, whatever…”

That was the story of how Ryner ended up hearing Vois out yet again.

“Mr. Ryner, have you ever heard of the Heroic Organization?”    

Ryner and Ferris exchanged a look.

“Yeah, we have,” Ryner said.

The ‘Heroic Organization’ was a group whose name Ryner and Ferris had run into while searching for heroic legends. That was actually why they’d started coming to this tavern in the first place… 

It was an organization that advertised defeating the demon king and becoming heroes to collect children and train them. They’d secured a place as one of the Iyet Republic’s most influential organizations as a result.

The more Ryner heard about them, the less it sounded like they had anything to do with his and Ferris’ quest, but anyway… 

Vois continued. “This Heroic Organization is a problem, particularly their founder and head Shanni Maribel. The Fiurelle Group’s Talent Training Program spent a long time developing his leadership and manipulation skills, and now he’s an expert. Eventually, he took over managing Fiurelle behind the scenes. He and my father got along so well that my father asked him to ‘take care of Fiurelle… no, to take care of Vois!’ as he was dying.”

Ryner showed absolutely no sign of caring. He picked his drink up and sipped. “You can tell us whatever you want, but we’re not helping you.”

“Yes, of course. You’re doing enough just by hearing me out,” Vois said. “Now, if I may continue, it was… I believe a rainy day. There was a voluptuous girl that I liked. She was ten.”

“The hell kind of ten year old…”

“I used my political power to make her mine,” Vois continued. “Aah, those were the good ol’ days… We played so many games of tag and hide-and-seek. I was quite the playboy, see…”

“Pretty cutesy shit for a playboy.”

As usual, Ryner’s comment was so ignored that he might as well have just stayed quiet.

“But you see,” Vois said, “Shanni also liked her.”

“Ahh, a love triangle… I’ve heard a lot about those. So she was ten, right? That means that this Shanni guy is about your age. What’s with the kids here? Is there something in the water?”

Vois shook his head. “No, Shanni is twenty-five this year.”

“……What?”

“Shanni has always been like that. He always likes the same girls I do. He said he doesn’t feel anything for girls over fourteen. I heard him yelling that in the streets once. ‘I’ll pretend to be a doctor for an eight year old girl! That’d be the bomb!’ but if you ask me, older women have their own charms, and besides, younger girls don’t have the same charm at the doctor’s as they do when they’re out playing. In any case, the Heroic Organization is actually a way for him to find girls who he likes.”

“…So basically he’s a real life degenerate.”

Ferris, who had pulled dango out of somewhere or other and was now chewing on some, spoke. “Mm. It seems like that Shanni character is cut from the same material as you, Ryner.”

“How!?”

“Isn’t it obvious? He’s a master pervert - a sex fiend and criminal that only you could rival,” she said, just as calmly as always.

“Uh, so… umm… shit. Just… continue. I don’t even care anymore,” Ryner said, then turned his attention back to Vois. “So I’m gonna say this one more time to make sure that you understand. I literally don’t give a shit about that guy.”

“I understand that. However, we cannot leave him alone,” Vois said. “It’s an insider issue, so to speak - he was originally one of ours, after all, and now he’s gone rogue. His Heroic Organization and my sister’s Saint Estella’s Believers Association are all infringing on our Fiurelle Group’s territory. We cannot allow this to continue.”

“Aren’t you guys just as much of a pain in the ass though…” 

Dot dot dot.

“Anyway, I was thinking about it, and I believe that you two, who defeated those thieves on your first night in Iyet, would be perfect for the job of decimating the Heroic Organization… Won’t you two please accept this request of mine?”

“No way in hell,” Ryner said.

“Mm. I’m busy with this dango today.”

Vois nodded. “I suppose it can’t be helped. I’ve been investigating the Heroic Organization in preparation of your answer.”

“Oh, how thoughtful.”

“Yes. But you see, I came across something strange. It appears that the Heroic Organization is searching for you, Mr. Ryner.”

“Haah!? Wh-why’s that?”

“Who knows. Even I’m not privy to that information… which I find very troubling. After all, you’re very important to me, Mr. Ryner, as we are nothing less than the closest of friends. As you know, I’m an expert in information management and manipulation. I spread a rumor about you. ‘Ryner Lute is a pedophile that puts Shanni to shame. He makes the girls of this town his one after another…,’ and the rest is history. You, angry beyond words, and Shanni, who was already on a manhunt for you, clash. Weird how things work out like that, isn’t it?”

“‘Weird’ is all you have to say about it!?”

“In any case, even if you don’t accept my request, Shanni will come to kill you anyway,” Vois said. “Really, what difference does it make at that point?”

“…I’m gonna murder you one of th—”

“Ah, and Ms. Ferris, what do you think about the dango payment for helping me spread that rumor?”

“Mm. It’s delicious. I will continue to do business with you if this is my reward.”

“Thank you very much.”

Anger had already run its course. Now all that Ryner could do was stare. “God, please forgive me,” he whispered, despair-stricken.

But then! The door to the tavern opened once more. A single man stood at the entrance.

Ryner’s mouth hung open in astonishment. “What… the hell.”

An unbelievable sight lay before them. The first thing Ryner noticed was that his hair was green, and not a natural green. It was like he’d dyed it with a field of grass in mind. Also, his armor was rainbow. 

Rainbow.

Once Ryner saw it, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. It was dizzyingly colorful. 

He wasn’t a bad looking guy, but it was hard to see that behind the obnoxious confidence written all over his face. He looked around the tavern, and… saw Ryner…

“Youuu!!”

With that, he unsheathed his sword and swung.

“Huh?” Ryner jumped around the tavern to dodge. “Wh… what… wait, why me!?”

“Hmph. Play dumb all you want but I, the heroic Shanni, savior of this country, see all! I heard all about how you're taking innocent girls to town one by one and sinking your fangs into them by taking them to teahouses and eating dango with them! I heard all about your diabolic ways!”

Ryner's eyes widened as if he were a monk reaching enlightenment. So that was who this gaudy sword-swinging guy was. “Ah, so you’re Shanni… And about the teahouse and dango stuff…”

Ryner turned to look at Ferris. She looked very satisfied with herself.

“Mm.”

Ryner was tired. So, so tired. “Don’t just ‘mm’ me…! Is that an appropriate response, ma’am? Huh? What do you say to that?” He was actually pretty pissed off about this. 

For some reason, Shanni was the one who winced. “H-hey, there’s no need to get so mad. Are you low on calcium? Alright, then. I, the heroic Shanni, savior of this country, will fight you. I knew that wasn’t really you since the beginning.

“So how about you look back on your life and take a deep breath before you blow your fuse?” Shanni continued. “Maybe you did make a wrong move somewhere. Maybe now you’re a degenerate. But it’s not too late. Your mom back home would be so sad…”

“I don’t want to hear that from youuu!” Ryner yelled and swung with his tightly-clenched fist.

“Oh, he’s mad,” Vois said.

“Mm. He’s mad,” Ferris agreed from his side.

“Do you think that we bullied him too much?” Vois asked.

“No, that’s not the problem. You see, he’s a masochist by nature. He must be shivering from pleasure from being bullied this much—”

“I’m done with you, too!”

Ferris unsheathed her sword. “Hm? What’s wrong, Ryner? Do you have a problem with me?”

That was all it took for Ryner to pale. “A-ah, no… No problem at all, ma’am… So will you put your sword away for me? Will you? See, I don’t want to die, and…”

Vois was impressed. “Wow, you have him trained like a dog.”

Meanwhile, Shanni had finally recovered enough to speak. “Hmph. So that’s what you’re into. I once taught an innocent eight year old girl to say ‘come mend my clothes at night, Shanni,’ you see… Not bad! Knew I could count on Vois. He’s always had great taste. I’m glad he succeeded my Fiurelle Group.”

“No, I should be saying the same of you,” Vois said. “You did a great job capturing the sheer maternal love contained in mending clothes.”

“Hm. You flatter me.”

Ryner cradled his head in his hands as he listened to their conversation. It was like they lived in a different dimension entirely. “Ugh, what even is happening anymore… I can’t understand what these people say in the slightest… What are you guys trying to accomplish? I’m leaving if it has nothing to do with me.”

Ferris nodded. “I see. I don’t quite understand them, but… do you want me to mend your clothes, Ryner?”

“…So you don’t get it either. Just now, I felt kinship with you for the first time.” 

“Are you making fun of me?” Ferris asked.

“No, it’s actually the highest form of compliment.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah.”

Ferris looked a little happy. “I see… heheh.” 

And then! The door to the tavern opened… again!

“Ta-daaa! I’m the messenger of love, courage, and energy! The witchy Pretty Milk has arrived! I return smiles to everyone’s faces even when the world is shrouded in darkness… augh, ow!? I bit my tongue! Auh… I knew I should have picked a shorter intro…”

And so a girl covering her mouth appeared in the doorway.

“…What? Why did Milk come, too?” Ryner wondered. He was getting dizzy. “Today is so unlucky…”

He wished he didn’t know this girl as well as he did. 

Milk Callaud, leader of a squadron of Taboo Hunters out to get him… or so she should have been, but she was actually chasing him because she loved bringing up the ghost of their promise to marry back when they were kids.

For some reason, Milk wasn’t wearing her usual military uniform. Instead, she was wearing bunny ears and a colorful dress with pom-poms. She even had a staff with a star on it… 

“……”

Ryner was way too tired to say anything at this point. 

Milk’s subordinates were hiding behind her. Ryner was pretty sure their names were Luke, Lach, Moe, and Lear. They were wearing flamboyant rainbow armor just like Shanni was. They also had pink hats and greenish yellow robes. It was horrible.

“Ch-chief, let’s just go home…”

“Uuh… I hate wearing this…”

“It’s so embarrassing…”

“It’s too much… I’m going to die now…”

“No! Lear! Lach, Moe, stop him!”

Milk, meanwhile, was the same as always. “Alright, Ryner! Today will be the day that you go out with me! I even brought a cute outfit for you to wear!”

“Uwah… spare me,” Ryner groaned.

Milk didn’t care about what Ryner had to say. Instead, she pointed at Ferris. “I won’t lose to you, Beauty for Brains!”

“But Miss Milk,” Vois started, “don’t you know about how high level their play is?”

“She even fixes the clothes he messes up while he grovels, Milk,” Shanni added.

“Nooooo! Why did I have to hate sewiiinnngggg!” Milk yelled, then twisted her staff around. “I wish for thunder—”

That was the start of her powerful magic.

Ryner didn’t have it in him to get flustered about this strange turn of events. “Ahh… no matter how it starts, this is always how it ends, isn’t it…”

“I wish for thunder - Lightning Flash!”

The counter was blown to pieces. The windows broke. The tables danced in the air. The people scrambled to get away. 

Shanni didn’t seem to mind the electricity zapping him to the core. “But, Mr. Pedo, I’d say that this was worth it. What do you think of coming with me to save the world? I was thinking about bringing a pediatrician on board, but they’re hard to find. But I think you’d be good at faking it, so I’ll leave that field to you!”

Shanni  held out his hand and smiled with his sparkling teeth. 

“I think a real pervert like you should drop dead from the electricity, actually!” Ryner yelled as he was zapped.

Even Vois was being zapped. “Ah, you can’t do that, Shanni. Mr. Ryner is my precious errand boy.”

“Augh!? Shut it! Who’s your errand boy, now!? You need to die, too!”

Then there was Ferris, calmly eating dango as if the tavern wasn’t falling apart around her. “This dango is delicious. Today is a good day.”

“What’s with that look in your eyes!? You’re dying first—”

Ferris gently placed her hand on her sword. “Hm? Do you have a problem with me?”

“Uuh… I hate this…”

Vois and Shanni exchanged a look, and in that moments, they were in perfect unison.

‘She really does have him trained like a dog.’

By then, Milk’s magic had fried Ryner enough that his vision flashed white. He laughed dryly. “Ah, ahaha… I can’t see a thing…”

Then he disappeared amidst the explosion. 

---

This probably went without saying, but the tavern was blown to smithereens. Another day, another building destroyed by Milk. 

How long would it be until she leveled all of Iyet?  It might be sooner than you think…