Forced Smile (2)
It was the same when I saw him in front of the clinic.
He had a smile on his face when he talked with the receptionist. But the moment he turned around and stepped out of the clinic, the smile disappeared from his face and he turned his face down.
He probably didn’t do it consciously.
Just like what Kazuki said, I think he might have closed off his heart unconsciously. His mannerism that looked like he’s forcing himself also made me curious about him.
Come to think of it, I just remembered it was for the same reason that I ended up following him with my eyes so closely at the wedding ceremony.
He didn’t only have a gloomy expression on his face.
Many times, he smiled to keep his appearance, because he became worried about others’ stares. It was so he could look natural with the others.
Maybe he didn’t get along too well with his family. But he must be the kind of person who got worried about it… so he tried to make it so other people wouldn’t notice.
He suppressed his own feelings and tried to act normal.
—I wonder if he’s clever or if he’s awkward.
I also knew another person who behaved in the same way.
I got reminded of that person’s face for some reason. The two of them didn’t look alike at all, but that expression of them looked kind of similar.
The other person was an alpha who was the total opposite of Sou.
But, they were both dragging something heavy about their own gender.
I suddenly wondered if there was anything I could do to help people who have such problems.
*
“Miya, aren’t you going to bed?”
“Ah… so it’s already this hour.”
The time was already 3 am. It was almost morning rather than night.
Even though I have to leave the house in three hours… It looks like I’d have to go to work without sleeping today.
It was Masago, the alpha who lived together with me, who stared at me with a sleepy face. This face didn’t mean he was actually sleepy. Masago always looked like this.
He’s languid and it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking at a glance. This alpha who is younger than me is my pair. It’s been almost ten years since we became a pair, but that air of him hasn’t changed at all.
Masago and I were seven years apart, but we were childhood friends who grew up in the same neighborhood.
I was really surprised when I found out that Masago, who was close to me and always followed me around, was an alpha. But I was also convinced at the same time. He might look a bit spacey, but it wasn’t because he’s stupid. In fact, he was very quick-witted. It was just that he often thought in silence, which made him look a little out of sync with his surroundings.
Even after he found out he was an alpha, Masago never left my side. We then go out with each other, and we became a pair in a very natural way… I think. I couldn’t remember much about it now, though.
But he really became different once he became my pair.
A distance grew between us after we started becoming a pair.
“I didn’t notice you were back.”
“I called out to you, but it looks like you were concentrating. You seem to be still awake even after I got out of the bathroom so I was curious.”
I feel like it’s been such a long time since I’ve talked to Masago like this.
Masago and I worked at the same company, but we rarely met each other in the office. It was because I’m a secretary, and Masago was involved in development and research.
Masago was a researcher at heart, and when he’s focused on his work, he would stay in the laboratory even on his day off. Even on weekdays, he came home when I was already asleep. He was bad with mornings so he never woke up when it’s time for me to leave the house.
We were supposed to be living together, but our daily life was just mostly passing by each other.
This is not the first time this has happened. Our daily life didn’t change much from the time we became a pair. Of course, when we were on heat we would take a day off and cuddle each other all day long, but other than that it was always like this.
If I wasn’t awake at this hour, we wouldn’t even be talking to each other at home.
“Can I take a look…?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Masago seemed to be curious about what I had been writing down from earlier.
He picked up a thick bundle of papers and read the title on the first page out loud.
“Virtual Alpha…?”
“—I’m wondering if I could make something like that.”
That was what I’ve been thinking since last evening, when I just came back from the clinic.
If they couldn’t talk to anyone in real life, what about a virtual partner?
Not a real person, but an AI alpha. If it was someone who didn’t actually exist in real life, I thought maybe they didn’t have to pretend to be someone they’re not, and they could speak their mind.
Masago didn’t respond to my words.
He didn’t ignore me, it seemed like he was just focused on the document. He was flipping through a large number of pages, which I couldn’t even remember how many pages I had written, at a very fast pace.
I wonder if he really understand the content.
This was still a draft that I wrote in one night.
It was just thoughts that I had and I just scribbled it down.
But if I can complete this app, I’m sure there will be many omegas who will be saved.
I made this app so that omegas like Kanade, who couldn’t talk to anyone close to him about his problems, won’t have to go through the painful heat alone… I wanted to create an existence that they could rely on.
“—It looks pretty good.”
“Huh?”
“Let’s make this app.”
My pair alpha smiled, his eyes as sleepy as ever.
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