CH 26

As usual, it had nothing to do with the sluggishness of an autumn afternoon and the office atmosphere. It was the fate of all interested parties of the press media to always keep their eyes and ears open in order to respond quickly to incidents.

Due to its nature, news agencies had to divide the time into seconds to quickly produce and distribute breaking news articles. While the busy people in each part and the sound of footsteps hitting the floor quickly played in their own harmony, the view of the office scene through the half-opened blinds resembled the person witnessing the situation, simple and docile. 

“What’s so intriguing about it?”

A man approached him and poured coffee into an empty cup. Following the skillful movement, the wrinkles of the shirt gently squeezed and unfolded themselves repeatedly.  Pourr– The aroma of coffee beans filling the cup along a thin stream of water spread throughout the office. The tension that had been squeezing his heart from the moment he entered the room was releasing bit by bit. Not that he knew much about it, but he liked the subtle scent that hung on the tip of his tongue.

“It smells good. Though I can’t really distinguish between good coffee…”

“It would’ve been stranger if you could actually tell them apart.” 

Shin Kwonjoo, seated next to him, snorted haughtily. When Ha Joyoon looked visibly dejected, the eyes of the man who was holding the cup and savoring the scent narrowed.

“Do you even know anything other than photography?”

“… No matter how much I like it, I can’t be ignorant about everything else.”

“As it was in the past and even now, it seems like that’s all you know.”

Instead of commenting on that like he used to, Ha Joyoon stopped trying to say anything and kept his mouth shut. It’s because the days when he was worked to the bone came to mind like a chain reaction.

“At that time, you made me work too hard.”

“I see. I’m sorry about that.”

“I can’t do that anymore.” 

“I don’t intend to make you do that either, so don’t go ahead by yourself. Don’t you have a schedule to cover today?”

“I’m only scheduled for screening today.”

“Don’t overdo it, only in moderation. I don’t want to carry out a corpse from here.”

Shin Kwonjoo laughed and moved his gaze back to the documents again. Keeping up with meticulous nature, he never missed a single letter in the paper. The neatly combed hair or a straight nose always stood out. It suddenly occurred to him that gossip about some employees having a crush on him would flow around every now and then. Would he know? Though Ha Joyoon didn’t think his attitude would change even if he did. 

For a long time, the other party did not speak. The occasional scraping of papers and the clatter of coffee cups were all the noise in the office. Ha Joyoon calmly spoke to the man who called him out of the blue while he was working, but was sitting there just looking at the documents.

“I’m busy, why did you call me in?”

“… I’m busy too. Wait a minute. Let me get through this.”

Ktbeut la kjr fzagfwfis lcrlcmfgf, tf ralii jcrkfgfv tlw qgbqfgis. Pa kjr tjgv ab lwjulcf atf jkxkjgv jcv ecmbwobgajyif jawbrqtfgf atja fzlrafv lc atf qjra. 

Pa kjr bcis bcmf, yea atfgf kjr j ragjcuf rfzeji afcrlbc atja mbeiv bcis yf rtjgfv yfakffc atbrf ktb xcfk fjmt batfg’r yjgf rxlc, jcv ybvs wbnfwfcar jcv tjv mbccfmafv atf wbra lcalwjaf qjgar. Pa kjr ybat oeccs jcv qjlcoei ab xcbk atja j gfijalbcrtlq mbeiv yf mtjcufv ys atf mbccfmalbc yfakffc akb ybvlfr gjatfg atjc atf mbccfmalbc yfakffc atf akb tfjgar.

Were human emotions this transient? Regardless of the longing or lingering feelings for Kang Taejung, the day was going by somehow, and his mind was drifting about in various directions. Ha Joyoon thought about the nature of his relationship with Shin Kwonjoo while sipping the fragrant coffee.

“While I’ve never done this in a professional workspace before,”

“…… ?” 

Rustle- Rustle. He calmly turned over the documents and then gently pushed the black leather-covered file to one side.

“I called you in because I don’t think I would have much time to meet you separately this week. I actually have to get going too.”

Ha Joyoon was a bit worried about what to say because of his personality. As if he noticed that, Shin Kwonjoo smiled knowingly and drank from the moderately cold cup.

“I was figuring things out too. Plus the last time was a bit spontaneous as well. It wasn’t like me.” 

He was curious about what he meant, but the worries didn’t last long. His smooth hands tapped the teak-finished desk.

“So, I think we need to properly establish our relationship.”

Relationship… Ha Joyoon, with a blank expression on his face, repeated some of Shin Kwonjoo’s words. And then he remembered that the other person had offered for them to be sex partners and that he had accepted the offer on a whim.

When his white face made a troubled expression, Shin Kwonjoo’s eyebrows frowned even more. There was a mysterious look in his eyes. The atmosphere, which had been relaxed a while ago, suddenly froze and maintained a cold air. Ha Joyoon’s tilted face, filled with chaos, looked particularly white and pale. 

“I don’t know what you mean.”

The light-colored eyes fluttered anxiously. The man who misinterpreted him shrugged and laughed.

“Don’t worry. This office is completely soundproof. The windows are not made of regular glass. I drew the blinds as well. I often call other employees to my office, so no one will think twice about it.”

“No, no. It’s not like that.” 

He shook his head, rubbing his cheek awkwardly. To begin with, he never cared much about the opinions of others. The harsh anxiety right now was only a problem in his mind. He was not yet used to Shin Kwonjoo’s way of speaking, as he tended to bring up topics he wanted to avoid, in a way it hit the most, whenever he expected it the least.

Tap. Shin Kwonjoo went ahead to solve his business, putting the empty glass down on the table.

“I crossed the line clumsily, but it won’t be a normal relationship between you and me. I believe you would have thought about accepting the offer.”

The relationship that was talked about with the heavy, low-pitched voice seemed really cold and inorganic. Somewhere, he could sense a sort of vigilance. Feeling strange, Ha Joyoon stared into the man’s dark eyes without saying a word. What did he mean by “won’t be a normal relationship”? 

“It’s not too difficult. It’s not a relationship based on romantic feelings, so all you need to do is figure things out for maintenance and closure.”

Shin Kwonjoo’s intention to set down the terms of the relationship was clear. A relationship that has both a clear beginning and an end. Perhaps some of his past partners he had relationships with failed to meet these conditions and faced a poor ending. The main contents of the conversation were definitely factors derived from past experiences.

There was no need for anyone to take responsibility and protect the feelings of others except yourself. No one can take responsibility for the lives and emotions of others other than you, and yourself. That was the conclusion of the relationship that Ha Joyoon reached after experiencing the pain that took control of his whole life.

The heart was really like a double-edged sword. When the handle was facing him, he had nothing to fear in the world, but when the direction changed and this time, the blade was facing him, it meant the end of the world. One horrible failure was enough. 

It’s not something to be pessimistic about, but at least he learned the loopholes and weaknesses of words, such as eternity and unconditional feelings. The hand that was placed on the leg strengthened a little.

“We talk to each other about what we need to be careful about, and make sure to stick to that.”

“……”

“Nothing too troublesome.” 

He shrugged his shoulders with a refined face. Although he continued to speak bleakly, it felt like many of the sharp thorns Ha Joyoon had seen in him as a boss had disappeared. Maybe it’s because we had sex? The scorn held for himself that he was unable to hide, popped out.

The first relationship, which was heavier and more serious than anything in the world, failed miserably. And what was now before him, was a second relationship, that may carry the least amount of weight in the world. Since he couldn’t do anything about the empty feeling in his chest, he did not avoid this temptation as a means of temporary avoidance and entered a sexual relationship. As that’s all there was to it, it meant a space where there was no need to be hurt again.

However, somehow, Shin Kwonjoo’s attempt to draw a clear line in the relationship was not taken lightly. Ha Joyoon frowned as he couldn’t understand his odd statements.

“Have you always been like this?” 

“Of course. It may feel a little upsetting at first, but there’s nothing wrong with being careful. Above all…”

After a moment’s pause, the man tapped his chin. The thick, straight eyebrows contorted for a second. He eventually spoke again with a calm expression, though he still seemed hesitant.

“Honestly, this is the first time I’ve ever had a relationship like this with someone I have been involved with publicly in any way, professionally or academically. The same goes for partners. Moreover, I know that you’re not in good health.”

“……” 

“I’m just as perplexed as you are.”

In a rougher tone than usual, the other party also expressed that the sudden relationship felt unfamiliar. If he was perplexed as he said he was, he could just back out, so Ha Joyoon couldn’t understand Shin Kwonjoo’s desire to continue the relationship with cumbersome conditions. Was there any meaning to this sexual relationship? He tried to talk but gave up as he couldn’t even do that.

Ha Joyoon, tired of worrying, relaxed his body and tilted his head. A tired sigh escaped his lips.

A view of the city spread out through the front window in the distance. Crowded buildings and non-stop cars looked like toy blocks. A sense of frustration as if the entire city was endlessly converging towards a certain point choked his throat. He felt like he was being whipped to run at full speed by someone despite just starting to walk. 

“You seem very adapt to this sort of thing.”

“… Not to the extent you’re thinking of. What do you think I am?”

He sighed and rubbed his forehead at what sounded like criticism to him. The ring on the straight hand caught Ha Joyoon’s eye today as well. Shin Kwonjoo, conscious of him, corrected his posture again and folded his hands. The word ‘divorce’ came to Joyoon’s mind.

Even legally binding relationships come to an end. He tried to estimate how much effort it takes for another person to meet and form a relationship and continue it wholeheartedly. 

The end of his relationship with Kang Taejung only limited his efforts. The man sitting next to him also loved someone sincerely and got married, and that love had dissipated, because of which he probably had chosen to part ways with no more will to work. If so, how was it right to reprimand the other side, who may still have feelings? What sort of separation was beautiful and neat and did not hurt each other’s memories?

Ha Joyoon muttered blankly, suppressing the deep-rooted bitterness.

“If you’re doing this because you think I’m going to be clingy, then you don’t need to worry.”

“That’s not it.” 

He answered firmly and shook his head.

“After all, we might as well use the time left wisely for the benefit of both sides, don’t you agree? It’ll be the same when it’s over.”

“Good closure didn’t really exist for me. The ending I know of is the worst.”

“… But listen. Don’t interrupt me.” 

Shin Kwonjoo said to appease him after frowning for a moment at his words of self-deprecation. The expression on Ha Joyoon’s face, such as squinted eyes, eyebrows, and tightly closed lips, was not very good.

“I’m sorry, Sunbae-nim, but I’m a little tired…”

“… It won’t even be very long.”

In the end, he smiled quietly at the face of Shin Kwonjoo, who seemed to be second-thinking his current choices. 

“Ha Joyoon-ssi.”

In the end, a cold call that lost patience fell. He nodded insincerely, thinking that what he had endured until now was out-of-the-ordinary superhuman patience.

After a while, with a deep sigh, a low-pitched voice began to speak at a moderate pace. However, Ha Joyoon looked out the window again, not even being able to concentrate on those words for a long time.

The city outside the window looked so cramped. 

People lived fiercely day by day in this place where various forms of violence existed. Some people find value in it, while others fall or shatter without finding that spark. He wanted to be detached from all the regrets that bound him like bondage. The closed eyes trembled silently.