CH 6.2

Holy Father Yohan. A person blessed by the Holy God. A man who loves humanity. And the one who loves me more than the whole of mankind. That deep love drowned me. I was a person drowned in his love.

The place where Cardinal Jun took me was the garden of the Temple. It was a forbidden place where no one could come in, where the Holy Father came to rest for a while when he was tired of his work. The garden of the Temple was not as fancy as the garden of the Rivero family, but instead there was a simple, static, and calm beauty.

In the garden, Yohan was chatting with some young lady.

The appearance of the man and woman was heartwarming. Both were good to see as they were handsome and beautiful. They looked good. Yohan smiled from time to time during the conversation, and the young lady smiled shyly with a face that could not hide her love and respect for Yohan. The people who saw them passed quietly so as not to disturb them with a happy smile, and even the wind sprinkled petals on the heads of the man and woman as if it were for them. The birds were singing quietly and the sun was warm.

“Look carefully.”

Cardinal Jun told me to carefully watch that beautiful scene. I saw it well. I couldn’t understand what he wanted to show me. The man and woman had the same black hair, so they looked good together like siblings.

Yeah, that’s right. You were the one I saw back then, Young Lady Biss. But don’t get me wrong, okay? I didn’t misunderstand the relationship between Yohan and you.

People who don’t know anything could have misunderstood the relationship between you two. But as you know, Young Lady Biss, Yohan doesn’t love you. Yohan is so sweet, kind, and loves everyone, and Young Lady Biss, you’re a kind young lady who is witty and elegant.

I know. I know as well. It must have been a pleasant conversation. You can laugh while having a good conversation. If a man and a woman are together, it may call upon a misunderstanding, but if one of them has a firm love, there is no misunderstanding.

Because Yohan loves me.

When I said that, Cardinal Jun said I’m a spiteful woman like a demon. It was the most insulting thing a human being could say to another human being.

“You’re incorrigible.”

“His Holiness loves me. Aren’t you the one being rude to His Holiness and Young Lady Biss for mistaking their pure friendship for love?”

“You are really incorrigible.”

“The Holy Father loves me. Even if I gave up my happiness with the Holy Father, I can’t accept false rumors circulating as true. The truth can sometimes be multiple. But for us, the truth is forever one. Yohan loves me.”

Cardinal Jun was one of the closest people to Yohan. I wanted at least Yohan’s confidants to know the truth. It was a simple wish.

“The Holy God must have given up on you, too.”

To love someone. Wishing that person to be happy. Wanting him to be honest about his feelings and be greedy about it. Was it such a bad thing that I had to hear such insulting words?

I was already tired and worn out, a rusty nail that was corroding. I ended up showing tears at Cardinal Jun’s insulting remarks. He said my tears were not worth anything.

There is no weight in the words of a madman. Tears of a crazy person have no worth. There’s no point in a madman’s laugh.

Tite Rivero was not crazy. So my words had weight, my tears had value, my laughter had meaning. I was always convinced then and now. Because His Holiness, who was talking with you, noticed my presence. He knew I was there, so he smiled even more deeply, and acted more like he was in a close relationship with you, Young Lady Biss!

“You don’t know. You don’t know anything. Would His Holiness have done these things that would have been a nuisance to him if it was my one-sided feeling? I’m Tite Rivero, the eldest daughter of the Rivero family. I know I’m just a stalker to people. I mean… I know.”

“The crime you committed in awareness is even more serious.”

“If I didn’t do this, would Yohan be able to see my face? What about my voice? Could we have a conversation?”

“Of course. You could have been good friends like other young ladies or closer like Young Lady Biss over there.”

“Yohan, the Holy Father gave up on me for humanity and his mission. From the beginning, he wasn’t even given the right to choose and time! What’s the deal with war! What’s the deal with the end of the war!”

“Young Lady Rivero! Watch what you say!”

I slowly broke down. I hugged my knees and cried.

How I wish I had loved Yohan one-sidedly. Then I could have been the one talking under the sun in the garden over there.