Volume 5 - CH 5.8

Asato laughed as he said something, but I ignored it. He was laughing like a maniac, his breath coming out in labored gasps. I pulled out his left arm. I then grabbed his lower back and tried to pry him out of the wall. Bones creaked, and Asato ceased laughing, letting out a groan. But I just pulled him out of the wall anyway.

“Ugh… Oda…”

He would just have to bear through the pain of his muscles tearing.

The goldfish rolled over in the air, flapping its crimson tail.

“Kill the monster, but not the fox,” Mayuzumi said. “What do you mean?”

I looked into the fish’s eyes. “Yuri’s wish was to give birth to Asato, who’s trapped here in the spirit world. She wanted to fulfill her dream of saving Asato and giving birth to a monster at the same time. Her wish could only be granted if he was in the spirit world. So I’m bringing him back to the world of the living.”

It wasn’t Asato that would emerge from Yuri’s belly, but a different monster. But if Asato were to disappear from the spirit world, the prerequisite for her wish would be gone, thus invalidating her wish altogether.

Mayuzumi went silent. The goldfish leapt again, twirling gently.

“And you’re okay with that?” she asked.

“Of course not. But this is the only thing I can do.”

I couldn’t kill Asato. I even subconsciously regretted leaving him behind.

Sometimes guilt shackles people for the rest of their lives. Looking away wouldn’t change a thing. Even if you continued to ignore it, guilt would still bind and torment you.

“I hate him,” I cursed. “Lots of people have died because of him. He ruined my life! But what awaits me when I return after killing the fox?”

The answer was obvious. Guilt for killing him.

He destroyed me. I wanted to kill him, but I couldn’t. It didn’t make any sense.

The goldfish did not respond. Red eyes were measuring me.

“This is my answer, Mayu-san. I will not kill anyone. No matter how much I hated them, I would never take their life.”

I had killed people before. Shizuka died because of me. Makihara, Aya, Higasa, and Akari would still be alive if I didn’t extend a helping hand.

But killing someone intentionally was the one thing I would never do.

Ever.

Asato burst into crazed laughter.

“Hahahahahahahaha!”

I pulled him hard. Asato grunted in pain and went quiet. Flesh squelched as his lower body began to slip out of the wall.

The goldfish spoke. “What if Asato kills again?”

“I won’t let him. I will never, ever let him kill again. If Asato tries to kill anyone, I’ll dedicate my entire life to stop him. I swear.”

“I don’t think that’s possible.”

“I don’t care.”

I knew I wasn’t thinking things through. But I couldn’t kill him. I hated him so much, I wanted him dead, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

And if I couldn’t kill the fox, this was the only way to kill the monster.

The goldfish let out a small sigh. It turned its wet eyes to me.

“What if I abandoned you and Asato in the spirit world?”

“If you want to be devoured by a monster, be my guest.”

The goldfish let out an exasperated laugh.

It moved its fins gently. She continued chuckling. Then the goldfish leapt again, spinning gracefully in the air.

“Fine. If that’s what you want, so be it. You will regret this. But if you can take it, knock yourself out. Go on and live a rough and difficult life,” Mayuzumi said sarcastically.

I pulled Asato’s body again. He groaned, but he was almost out of the wall.

“That’s the plan,” I replied.

Asato’s buried ankles squirmed, and he tumbled to the ground. I grabbed his arm and carried him on my shoulder. Mayuzumi said nothing more.

The goldfish soared into the sky. Its body touched the narrow ceiling.

The goldfish gently kissed the wall of flesh, and a thin handle appeared from where its lips touched. A parasol fell from the sky, blossoming mid-air.

Snap.

The parasol swayed as it descended. The fish kissed the sky again and again. Numerous parasols fell. It was like flowers falling on the surface of the water and gently sinking. They froze mid-air, forming a staircase.

“You will… regret this… Odagiri…” Asato mumbled.

Mayuzumi said the same thing. Back then, I couldn’t save the broken girl. To think that Asato would say the exact same words to me. How ironic.

Asato said I would regret this. But I disregarded his words.

“I don’t want to kill and burden myself with guilt because of you.”

If it weren’t for him, no one would’ve died. He killed a lot of people. I recalled Makihara’s wails. Aya pressing the knife to her throat. Higasa in anguish, and Akari smiling as she waved. Shizuka looking at me with teary eyes. Despite all that, this was what I decided.

My shoulder suddenly felt heavy. Asato had passed out.



The parasols created a red spiral staircase. It touched the ceiling and reached down to the goldfish.

I looked at the red sky. “I won’t kill someone I hate. So what?”

Crash.

Crimson shards fell from the sky. The goldfish disappeared out of the hole. I wondered how much time had passed. The slightly overcast sky was now clear. I spotted a figure in black against a blue backdrop.

“Hurry up, Odagiri-kun,” she said. “This is just a crude hole. It won’t stay open for long.”

“You should’ve created one much lower, then.”

Breathing a sigh, I put my foot on the parasol. With pain jolting through my palm and stomach, carrying Asato was difficult.

Mayuzumi flashed a nasty grin and lifted the lace on her hat. “I’m messing with you. Now climb quick.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice.”

I started walking with Asato in tow. Step by step, we approached the blue sky. Asato did not say anything. He was just dead silent. The baby in my belly cried, and the pain from earlier returned.

I felt the urge to throw the weight off my back. It would feel so good to toss him into the red sea. Dump him into the spirit world and just run without looking back.

I could look into his face filled with despair and laugh.

But I stifled back the urge to do that. I trudged onward, one step at a time.

The sky was getting closer. Blue enveloped us.

I found myself standing under a clear autumn sky. Asato was on my back. He had returned to the real world after being in the spirit world for a long time. I took a deep breath and exhaled. I let go of him, and he crashed to the ground.

I looked behind me; the hole to the spirit world had closed. Seeing the figure in white down on the ground made me want to cry out. Profound sadness and guilt filled my chest. But the pain was gone. It felt as if a needle stuck inside me had finally been removed.

The scar would hurt badly, I was sure.

But for now, this was fine.

Silently I looked up at the sky. Mayuzumi was standing beside me; she smelled sweet. She took off her hat, removing the black lace covering her face. She looked at me and smiled.

A servant approached Mayuzumi, whispered something in her ear, and left.

Nodding, she turned to me. “Jingu Yuri’s baby was born.” I listened quietly. Wearing a grave look, she added, “It was stillbirth.”

It must be because I brought the fox out of the spirit world.

The autumn wind brushed against my cheeks.

She appeared in my mind.

Now that her organs ceased functioning, she was now completely dead.

Her child was dead. And she deserved it.

But didn’t the return of the fox mean that her wish was partly granted?

Mayuzumi put her hat back on and looked to the sky.

Black lace stirred in the wind. The ornament, a red flower, fluttered in the air.

Petals drifted down.

It was as though she was mourning the death of the last person to ever live.

“Yes, Mayuzumi Asato is still in a coma,” Mayuzumi said over the phone. “We don’t know when he will regain consciousness.”

I was in my small apartment.

Mayuzumi was still at her home, discussing Asato’s future. Outsiders were not allowed to attend their clan meetings, so I left.

Immediately after our return, Asato was admitted to a hospital owned by the Mayuzumi clan. But he fell straight into a coma. He had apparently completely exhausted his strength. It was unknown when he would wake up, so the Mayuzumi clan’s plan on what to do with him was put on hold.

“He suffered no brain damage, so he could wake up at any moment. But no human had ever returned from the spirit world after spending an extended period of time there. We don’t know how long he would be in this state. But I wouldn’t get my hopes up if I were you,” she warned.

I couldn’t deny that for a moment, I hoped the fox wouldn’t wake up.

I nodded. “I know. I’ll be ready.”

We didn’t know what the fox would do once he woke up. I calmed my racing heart. Mayuzumi chuckled.

“As long as you understand,” she said. “See you tomorrow, Odagiri-kun.”

Beep, beep, beep.

The call ended. I turned off my cell phone.

I lay down and looked up at the dark ceiling.

My eyes had gotten accustomed to looking at the spirit world that staring at a still ceiling was discomforting. I stroked my belly softly. The wound was shallow, so it had already healed. Uka was sleeping peacefully.

Would the fox come back again?

Until then, I would have to live like there was a ticking time bomb nearby.

I shook my head and lifted myself up. Still, I had no regrets. I couldn’t kill the fox.

I had no choice but to live with the decision I made.

Steeling myself, I stared at my palm; it had more scars now. Suddenly the door flung open.

Bang.

“I’m barging in!”

“Excuse me.”

My jaw dropped. Two people were standing in the doorway. A long, thin silhouette and a smaller one were pushing and shoving each other.

“There you are, Odagiri-san. ‘Sup! I’m starving. Could you buy me some food?! Ouch! What are you doing, you brat?!”

“I’ve been telling you to go home, you roach! Odagiri-san! Guys like this, you have to say something, or they’ll get carried away.”

Nanami and Yusuke were arguing furiously. I just stared at them. As I listened to the commotion, warmth gradually filled my chest. Then it hit me.

Come to think of it, I was currently living a relatively normal life.

It could get destroyed at any moment.

Still…

“Perfect timing,” I said. “I have some beef stew.”

The days will go on as it always had.

I took a step forward.