Chapter 160

I wake up much later to Dale still cradling me, it's not much later but it should be well into the afternoon with how bright the sun is.

"Dale?" I murmur, crawling into his arms again, I had slept with my upper body on his legs, his hands buried in my hair.

"Mmh?" He hums, unnaturally quiet --- it breaks my heart to see.

"I had a horrible dream." I whisper, my eyes stinging again.

"Wha…"

"I never got to tell you…" I cut him off with tears in my eyes. "...that…"

"Hayden." He cuts me off with a tight grip around my waist, agony on his face. 

I startle, falling quiet, I couldn't remember the last time he had said my full name.

"Please don't."

I bite my lower lip to keep it from wobbling but swallow my words, feeling it crawl down my throat like a sip of lava.

He tugs me in close and I'm relieved that he's not pushing me away entirely, foregoing our friendship.

"I had missed her for hiding out in her room for so long that I'd forgotten that she was an egoistic, homophobic…"

"Dale." I cut him off, not wanting him to have issues with his family.

"I think what makes it hit hard is because I've always felt the same way, before I met you that is." Kisses get pressed against my hair, this is going to be really hard.

"I don't want to lose you, neither do I appreciate cutting things off so soon but…" He trails off, throat closing. "She was like… woah!" He huffs out, like it's taking him a lot to say it. "That she guesses I could mess around with you for a while, called it teenage hormones and said you wouldn't get pregnant either ways…"

I feel his grip tighten and I don't have to glance at him to know that his eyes are a fiery gold, his words are like a soothing balm to my burning throat.

"I couldn't accept that so even though it fucking stings…"

"Stop talking and let me kiss you ." I scold him, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.

He chokes, getting flustered. "B-But…"

"You're not using me, Dale." I tell him pointedly. "I'm the one kissing you remember?"

"It's going to be weird being friends." He whispers, eyes fixed on my lips.

I ignore his words and lean upwards so that our lips could meet, as much as it hurts, I couldn't fault Dale for being honest with me.

For the first time, being human seems so overrated.

Kissing him is so familiar it makes my heart twist, the cool taste of mint splashing across my mouth, easing the ache of my throat.

"You're not going to make this easy on me, are you?" Dale chuckles bitterly, swiping a pink tongue over his lower lip when he breaks off.

I just watch him quietly, studying his features like I wouldn't see him again.

"You're not going to sleep over anymore?" I ask hopefully.

He kisses my cheek and I note him slowly distancing himself even though the harsh pain in his eyes is clear to see. 

"I think it's better I don't, I'd hate myself if I hurt you." He places his forehead against mine, I was going to need a lot of ice cream to survive the coming weeks.

I hum, hating the idea but understanding his reasons, that reminded me… "Where are the rest?" I ask curiously.

"Getting ice cream." He says shortly and I'm not even surprised that they already know, we were all creepily close in our own way.

"Does Virgil know?" I mumble inaudibly but Dale easily catches my question.

His brows furrow in confusion. "Yeah, he didn't take it well, he sounded quite… mad."

I gape at Dale's words, my heart sinking as my deepest fears start to take form, Virgil was just looking out for me after all.

A knock raps on the door, interrupting my response and Shana and Mae comes in, a solemn air around them.

"Should we give you space?" Mae asks, concern furrowing her brow.

"No, it's fine, I'll have to leave soon." Dale says miserably.

I try to not let my reaction show visibly, biting the interior of my check to distract myself.

"Hi, guys." I mumble a reply to their greetings, letting them fuss over me briefly, I also find out that my window has been fixed.

If only Dale's and my relationship could be fixed that easy…

Conversation dies but ice cream fills up the empty cold space so it's somewhat bearable.

"Growing up is fucked up." Shana grumbles, shoveling a full spoon in her mouth and chewing on the mouthful.

I'm wincing for her, wondering how insensitive her teeth were. I'm sitting cross legged beside Dale who's downing his ice cream like it was shots of vodka.

We all mumble our agreements, quietly eating ice cream.

The sweet confectionery doesn't last forever and soon I'm saying goodbye to my friends, grateful that I had a freezer full of ice cream to keep me from yeeting myself out the window for real this time.

I clear up when they go, the house temperatures colder.

Everything had been too perfect, life was never that perfect even books had tragedy and heartbreak.

I come out of the kitchenette to see my mom coming in, looking exhausted.

"I quit." She murmurs, walking across the room and wrapping her arms around me. 

"W-What?!" I splutter, stunned. "Why?"

She shrugs. "I wanted to, plus I'm signing up for 'Taekwondo' classes and buying a metal bat."

I shake my head. "it's not your fault, mom." I tell her firmly. "If anything, I should have been more careful."

"Sure but I can't take back my registration and the hardware store doesn't give refunds." She agrees, the familiar playful twinkle in her eyes.

I just hug her some more, just realizing how much I had missed her inner child.

"Sure, mom, whatever you want." I murmur to her, if she notices that I'm being extra clingy I hope she chalks it up to the fact that I had a near death experience earlier today.

I couldn't trust my mom to not pay Mrs Ascott a visit and give her a piece of her mind about what she thought of her opinions, I have to ease her into the news that Dale and I were just friends now…

I wince, the word 'friends' alien and heavy in my mouth, I let out a miserable sigh, deciding that I already didn't like the last year of high school.