CH 31.1

「It doesn’t matter if they are more than a year older, remarried, have children, or have bad looks, as long as they aren’t a bum, right?」

「Eh?」

「No one is telling Milady to find a single man with the perfect family background, looks, and personality.」

「…That’s, true.」

「What Milady is looking for is someone who can support you. Family background is by all means a minimum requirement, but that doesn’t matter afterwards. Milady has absolute power behind him. And that authority wants the Milady herself, not her husband, and he’s on the board.」

“You’re asking too much of yourself, Milady,” Meari laughed.

「I don’t mean to sound high-minded or anything…」

「Then what is it? Do you say that maybe you don’t have confidence in yourself to be loved?」

I am at a loss for words.

「Or do you care about that thing? Please stop. It’s useless, useless, it’s useless to care. He is just a stupid, empty-headed piece of junk. Are you an idiot, Milady, to include him in the count? He should be eliminated immediately, yes-yes.」

So Meari spat out. The hit against Raul is still quite strong.

「What kind of heroism is it to say,『I don’t care anyway…?』What a tragic heroine of the stage! It’s not like you’re that (shameless) Royal Princess, she’s the heroine of a tragedy, and she has no shame.」

Meari was still not stopping, even though I was drooping.

「It’s too much of a drag to make just one mistake. Isn’t that heavy? It’s so effeminate. It’s frustrating to watch. You are forever carrying baggage that you don’t have to carry, so you can’t move on and people around you are always berating you.」

「…Isn’t that a little over the top?」

Your well-turned mouth is in great shape, Meari-san. But please hold back a little more. Even the quintessential me is getting angry.

「Meari is saying this because no one else is saying it. I spoiled Milady so much that you can’t stand up on your own.」

「Don’t treat me as a child who can’t stand up.」

「Then why are you deceiving yourself and continuing with your current situation when you have had plenty of opportunities before? If Milady doesn’t want to get married, doesn’t want a husband, doesn’t want children, Meari doesn’t have anything to say. You’re just running away, aren’t you?」

It’s terrible. It is indeed terrible. It’s too much, isn’t it!

「Are you perhaps pretending to be a healthy heroine waiting for that thing to change its mind and come back to you?」

Muukkkaaaa!!

「Don’t tell me you are waiting for a prince on a white horse? Pfft, don’t make me laugh a bit. Only pre-adult girls are allowed to dream! Milady was already expired long ago!」

I heard something inside me snapping.

「Hey, aren’t you talking too much earlier, Meari! You can say all you want if I just shut up and listen. Are you making fun of me!?」

With a bang, I slammed the table and stood up to raise my voice. Even Meari has a limit to her patience.

「I’m not calling you a fool. I’m calling you a coward.」

“Hahhaha—hn,” snickers Meari with a little hate.

「When did I ever run away?」

「It’s a blessing to be unaware. It’s just an ongoing process.」

「I DIDN’T RUN AWAY!」

「Heh? So you’re not second-guessing marriage because you’re afraid of getting hurt?」

「That’s not true!」

「Hmm? So you’re not reluctant to break off the engagement because you’re not ready for that thing?」

「There’s not a single bit of regret or anything left from me! Don’t make me feel bad!」

「Hoh? Then you’re fine with breaking off the engagement or arranging a blind date, aren’t you? You wouldn’t run away after saying all that, would you? You don’t, aren’t you?」

「Yes, I don’t mind. I won’t run away from him. I don’t mind if it’s a broken engagement or an arranged marriage, I’ll take it…」

The moment I said that. Meari’s face twisted into a grin.

「…Ah.」

「Okay, I got your word!」

「Ahhh!」

「Somebody please tell the Master that she had broken off the engagement and arranged the marriage! Also, send the letter I left with her to the palace. As soon as possible!」

「Hey— wait!」

Aside from my dismay, I heard a servant’s voice responding to Meari’s voice from outside the room,「Yes— ma’am!」And came a reply from outside the room with the sound of footsteps moving away.

「No withdrawals are allowed, so please don’t be offended.」

No, no, no, hold on a second. I, how can I inadvertently buy a sales pitch?

「…Isn’t that cowardly just now?」

「Because it’s Meari’d speciality to play a trick on Milady.」

I don’t need that special skill. Burn it with food scraps.

「You really are a klutz when you’re out of lady-in-waiting mode, aren’t you, Milady?」

I can’t even think of two words to describe it. I was once told that I was a talented lady-in-waiting, but what an abomination I am. I’m so pathetic that tears are coming out of my eyes.

「Is that how you are doing at the palace?」

Meari’s words that followed me made me plop down on the table with my head in my hands.

「I can’t take it anymore. Everyone is always talking about marriage, marriage, marriage, it’s really irritating…」

My true feelings came out along with my tears. But it didn’t matter because it was only me and Meari in the room anyway.

「Yes, it is. Meari is right, but so what? I don’t want to get hurt. I’m scared and I can’t stand it. I don’t have the confidence to get back up if it happens again, is that crazy?」

When I asked her this, Meari shook her head as she drizzled honey into her tea.

I thought,『Who cares about me anyway?』So I get defensive and even gave piercing looks at men. I am aware that I am sulking. I am really envious of honest and lovely women like Myra-sama. That corpse-like figure of Gaspar, who had been struck for nothing, was also like a figure of me in the near future, and I was afraid of it.

「They all suspect me of having lingering feelings toward him, but I gave up on Raul a long time ago. I could have called off the engagement anytime. But, you know, it was very annoying to break it off so easily.」

I want to somehow pay back the humiliation I have suffered for the past 10 years. I wanted to put them through the same thing. I wanted them to be looked down upon, scorned, shunned, and hurt to the point that their self-esteem would be shredded to pieces.

「While I was definitely trying to get back at him, I was too busy and lost my timing.」

If this is unfulfilled, then it must be unfulfilled to have failed to get even.

「Ahh, no more, no more! Do you think I could ever have someone as supportive as Meari after all this time?」

「I don’t think it’s the same as giving up before you even try. And you know what?」

「What is?」

I looked up at Meari, who was sitting across from me with her face down, slightly out of her arms.

「Only girls are allowed to dream, but there’s no age limit for dreaming maidens.」

I don’t understand what Meari is talking about. What is the difference between a girl and a maiden?

「Here is Meari’s advice to the uninitiated Milady.」

As I lay prone, Meari brought her face close to mine and said in a small voice as if she were talking privately.

「You have to get on board when the time is right. Don’t run away. That’s how I caught him, I’m sure of it.」

「I don’t know when to do that. What if you miss it?」

I don’t have any love skills. I don’t know any ways to know the timing.

「Here’s some good news for you, Milady. My belly, chest, and knees are all filled, but this is a great service for Milady only. Meari’s offering her back!」

Meari spun around and gave me a thumb-quick finger appeal on her back, which had grown a size larger.

「Come to me anytime. I’ll give you a piggyback ride and comfort you.」

She talked about failure assumptions! I want to cry already!!