CH 16.3

Teng Shao turned around and walked to the shelf to take down an object. Between his eyebrows, it showed deep exhaustion. The lantern’s shadow illuminated his gray hairs on his temples, and all at once, one could see that he was getting old. 

“The father of the head of the rebellion, Peng Sishun, was once the trusted-aide minister of the imperial court. After the death of Peng Sishun, there were still many of the Peng family’s old subordinates in the capital. This time, many ministers opposed suppressing the armed forces of the Huai Xi province. It is reckoned to have to do with the Peng family’s numerous followers in Chang’an. It is a pity that the military affair is urgent, and there is no time to check for the hidden traitor one by one.” 

Teng Shao said while opening the cover of that object’s embroidered brocade. When that object was completely revealed under the shadow of the light, Teng Yuyi felt a stab in her heart. 

It was a guqin1guqin = a type of zither, chinese musical instrument, and the lacquer was bright and glossy. The top of the guqin is inlaid with flower ornaments, elaborated and elegant in all aspects, causing one to love it too much to part with it. 

This was her mother’s dowry. Her mother was born in the Wang family in Taiyuan, and ever since she was young, she was always skillful in things like this. Her father was on expeditions all year around, and her mother would often play the guqin to relieve the bitterness of yearning. 

Teng Shao’s fingers lightly pressed on the strings: “Ever since your mother passed away, father has not heard anyone play the guqin in a long time. Father is a bit tired tonight, how about you play a song for father?” 

Teng Yuyi said lightly: “I don’t know how to play the guqin.”

Teng Shao forced a smile: “I heard Cheng Bo say that you have been practicing playing the guqin over the years, and there are a lot of your mother’s shadows in your skills. Your mother is an expert, and for you to have practiced to this extent, you ought to have put in a lot of effort.” 

Teng Yuyi sneered in her heart. She is not good at this at all, and is just worried that there will be no traces related to her mother in this world. Everything that is related to her mother, she will do anything to keep them. 

The only exception is this guqin. 

This guqin once had fallen into the hands of her father’s younger cousin, Wu Yingying. If she hadn’t been desperately refusing to let it go when she was young, it would basically be impossible to get it back. 

After taking it back, she refused to touch it anymore because she disdained that the guqin was fiddled back and forth by Wu Yingying. Unexpectedly, her father would put it away in the study room. 

Teng Shao fiddled with the strings himself, and the lonely and helpless music overflowed out from his fingertips. His techniques were not skilled at all, but one can hear that it was the Hu people’s famous song《Su Mu Zhe》2TL’s note: Sorry guys, I tried to translate this, but there was nothing that made sense。

Teng Yuyi’s complexion became more ugly the more she listened. It was shortly before her mother’s death when she once accidentally bumped into Wu Yingying and her father, having a private meeting in the study room. At that time, the Tibets had invaded again, and the He Long region was in a state of an emergency so her father was about to lead the army out to the battlefield. 

Because of this, Wu Yingying presented this song as a gift, incling the meaning of being reluctant to part with, and farewell. 

Teng Yuyi remembered that when she charged in, Wu Yingying’s face was full of tears. 

And her good father was standing silently in front of the table watching Wu Yingying play the guqin. 

The song was sorrowful, and the two of them seemed to be a bit stunned. One does not know how long it took until Teng Shao turned his head and saw Teng Yuyi, a faint trace of panic flashed across his face.

Teng Yuyi was only five years old at the time, but could also tell that there was something wrong with these two people. This, Wu Yingying, is her father’s younger cousin, and was brought home by father half a year ago. He told mother that his younger cousin’s father had passed away, and she is now lonely and helpless. His younger cousin had already promised to marry off, but there was still half a year left before the day of the marriage. These six months, she needed to live at home. 

Mother put father first in everything, and naturally allowed it, immediately ordering people to tidy up a quiet and peaceful courtyard, carefully helping Wu Yingying settle down. 

In the beginning, her mother often paid visits to Wu Yingying. Wu Yingying is lively and clever, and made up a lot of gadgets to amuse the young Teng Yuyi. Because she is good at winning the hearts of people, even the servants in the mansion had a good impression of Wu Yingying.  

Not long after, her mother somehow began to distance herself from Wu Yingying for some reason. Sometimes, Teng Yuyi wanted to go find Wu Yingying to play, but would be stopped by her mother. 

It was at that time when mother began to fall into sickness.

Later on, Teng Yuyi bumped into that scene in the study room. She did not tell her mother about this matter, but nevertheless, her mother still found out in the end. Her mother was pregnant at the time, and had a panic attack, resulting in not being able to preserve the fetus3fetus = unborn child, and her body completely collapsed. 

Having recalled this, she suddenly raised her head, and the sound of the guqin in her ears was endless. Her father was immersed in the memories. She couldn’t bear it anymore, and quickly walked across the room, pushing open the door. 

Teng Shao pressed down on the strings, and shouted lowly: “A Yu!” 

Teng Yuyi stopped and said sternly: “Father keeps saying that he misses mother, yet doesn’t even know that mother had never played a song of the Hu people when she was alive! This song《Su Mu Zhe》has only been played by one person. Father uses mother’s relics to play this song so who is it that you are insulting?” 

Teng Shao seemed as if he had been choked by someone. 

Teng Yuyi’s eyes were red: “Father doesn’t need to use these methods to remind me. I will never touch this guqin. Every time I hear this song, I want to vomit! I will never forget how mother died. That woman is now living very well in Nanzhao, yet mother has already become a pile of bones, and all of this is all thanks to father!” 

Teng Shao’s face ashened, and he snapped: “Enough!” 

Teng Yuyi’s tears swirled in her eye sockets. During the night of her mother’s death, the subordinates were busy preparing the funeral, and her young self did not know what had happened. Each minding their own business, she climbed into the coffin, and spread out her arms, saying to her mother: “Mother, A Yu is well-behaved. I beg mother to wake up and hug me.” 

However, no matter how she cried and bawled, her mother refused to pay attention to her. She was at a loss of what to do, only hugging her mother in the coffin while crying. 

Ever since that day, there would be no one who would coax her to sleep every night, and no one who would hold her while singing nursery rhymes under the flowers anymore. No one who would smile while combing her hair, and no one who would hand by hand teach her how to write.   

After her mother was buried, there were countless pitch-black nights. There was an atmosphere of loneliness and silence around her, and accompanying her was only that rag doll left behind by her mother. 

She remembered her mother’s smiling eyes, and her hatred towards her father could not be suppressed no matter what.  

Teng Shao supported himself with the table and stood up. As soon as he took a step, his body swayed. 

“Father is a vulgar4Vulgar = not having or showing good manners, good taste, or politeness person, doesn’t understand music, doesn’t understand rhyming couplets5Rhyming couplets = two line of the same length that rhyme and complete one thought, and has never drawn eyebrows for mother once. You had never accompanied mother to pick flowers once. At that time, Tubo and the Nanzhao Kingdom invaded the Jiannian province which was the time when the military situation was the most dangerous and urgent. Everytime father returns from the expedition, you don’t accompany mother who hasn’t seen you for a long time so father doesn’t even know what mother’s favorite song to play is.” 

He hung his head down, and lightly stroked the guqin using his fingers. His eyes were exceptionally gentle: “But father knows that your mother loves to play the guqin, and compose poems. When the tea ceremony just started to rise, your mother was the first in Liangjing to be well-versed in such things. Every time, someone in Chang’an published a new poem, she would look over it and recite it. Those tricky mathematical problems of the Imperial Academy, she calculated them faster than anyone. There was nothing in this world that she couldn’t learn.” 

His lips trembled: “She had many hobbies, and father doesn’t know much about them. However, father still has to say that when your mother was here, it was the happiest years in father’s life. The luckiest thing for father was being able to marry your mother.” 

Teng Yuyi tearfully looked at Teng Shao: “If that’s the case, then why would there be a Wu Yingying?” 

Teng Shao clenched his teeth: “Father had told you earlier that father was entrusted by others to take care of Wu Yingying. Father owes your mother a lot in this lifetime, but has never betrayed your mother!” 

Teng Yuyi rigidly stared at her father, only feeling that it was indescribably ironic. Father can’t remember the songs that mother played, and the song that was casually played just now, was《Su Mu Zhe》which Wu Yingying had played before. 

Perhaps, her father himself didn’t even know that at a certain phase, he was moved by Wu Yingying, and this is undoubtedly sadder than death for her mother who deeply loved her father. 

She said hatefully: “Does father dare to say that mother’s illness has nothing to do with Wu Yingying! You brought her into the mansion. Have you ever thought of inviting a wolf into the house6“inviting a wolf into the house” = to introduce a potential source of trouble or danger? At that time, mother’s illness was life-threatening. You invited a doctor to help treat mother, yet on the other hand, you specifically accompanied that Wu Yinying to go ferry crossing7Ferry crossing = the act of traveling across the sea by ferry which is a boat. Do you know that it was you who personally forced mother into a deadend!”

Teng Shao’s gaze became extremely stern in an instant, and after staring at Teng Yuyi for quite a while, he suddenly fell back slumped. His eyes were hidden with endless sadness and pain. He said in a hoarse voice: 

“A Yu, your mother’s death is like a thorn in father’s heart, and ever since you mother left, father has not lived a day where it is not tormental. Father acknowledges that he owes your mother, and is willing to endure all of this. However you are different. Your mother has been gone for so many years, and there are so many things pressed in your heart. When will you be willing to completely let this go?” 

Teng Yuyi was extremely disappointed, and sobbed even more: “Okay, just return mother to me!” 

She stepped over the doorstep without turning her head. The flying snow that filled the sky swept over, and for a split second, she lost her sight. Her face was moist and cold, unable to tell if it was tears or snow. She pushed away the hand of the subordinate, holding a hand warmer and cloak for her. She faced the snow and walked out. 

*** 

When Teng Yuyi got up the next day, Teng Shao was no longer in the mansion. 

Cheng Bo came to pass on the message, saying that early in the court today, the Emperor appointed Teng Shao as the lead marshal of the military forces, and soon will have to command the army to suppress the armed forces of the Huai Xi province. 

“His Lord has probably already gone to the army camp at this time, and will leave Chang’an in these two days at the latest.” 

Teng Yuyi was standing in front of a copy of《Nanhua Classics》that was on the table, lightly saying: “Got it.” 

Cheng Bo said again: “Before his Lord left, he instructed that Lady must bring Duan Fu when she goes out. If the lady wishes to go out of the city, be sure to notify this old servant so that this old servant can make arrangements early.” 

Teng Yuyi stopped writing. Last night, her father had said that it would be very difficult to pacify the rebellion in advance. Perhaps it is related to the large number of followers of the rebellion officials hidden in the dark of the capital. 

Previously, there were cases of court ministers going out to amuse oneself at night, and getting ambushed on the way. Is her father worried that those thieves will take action on the family? If they really dared to do so, wouldn’t it be a bit too blatant?

However this battle is very important, and the later the rebellion is pacified, the more points the rebels of the Huai Xi province have for themselves, so father’s worries are not entirely unreasonable. 

She turned her head to look out the window. It was clear after the snow, and the sky was vaguely light. 

“It’s about to be the Laba festival so I am going to go to the Du Mansion to send some holiday gifts to my uncle today. You can go instruct people to make arrangements early.” 

Cheng Bo complied, and went out to make arrangements. After a while, he hurriedly returned, “Lady, the people from the palace have come, saying that the Empress has an imperial decree to announce.” 

Teng Yuyi hurriedly changed her clothes, and went to the main hall. Sure enough, there was a court eunuch waiting there. 

The court eunuch said: “Recently, the weather has been cold and severe, and the transportation of grains that Suiyang has been waiting for, has been obstructed. The Emperor is humble and can understand people’s feelings, and in one night, the envoys went to Suiyang to relieve the disaster and help the poor. The Empress is kind and is willing to carry all things, voluntarily fasting for the first month of the lunar year to pray for the blessing of the common people. The mixed academy8mixed academy = also called syncretism in Chinese philosophy, is an eclectic school of thought that combined elements of Confucianism, Taoism, Mohism, and Legalism came today, and was ordered by the Empress to invite Teng Yuyi to the Daying Temple to worship the Buddha. Tomorrow at chenshi9辰时, chenshi = 7-9 am in the system of two-hour subdivisions used in former times, the Empress will leave the palace. Lady Teng, please make preparations early.” 

Teng Yuyi bent over and said: “At Her Highness’s command10this means obeying the Empress’s imperial decree.” 

The eunuch lightly cleared his throat, and smiled: “In addition, Princess Changyi also has some words and had this humble one deliver it to Lady Teng: ‘That day in the Merlin forest, we met. A’zhi and I both thought you were interesting. This time, we are going to the Dayin Temple to fast and worship so you should also come early.’” 

The eunuch’s voice was high-pitched, repeating Princess Changyi’s words in such a smile. The bearing and tone was imitated to perfection. Teng Yuyi lowered her head while listening. It felt just as if there was an illusion of Princess Changyi standing right in front of her. 

Teng Yuyi smiled: “This servant obeys.” 

After the eunuch left, Cheng Bo quickly whipped the horse to go deliver the letter to Teng Shao. Teng Yuyi stayed in the mansion to pack her bags, and ordered someone to send the gifts to the Du Mansion. 

The Dayin Temple is located in Fuxingfang, established for more hundreds of years and has always been a Buddhist temple for the imperial family. One has heard that the Emperor had never received great grace from the presiding monk, Yuan Jue, when he had not yet recognized his ancestors and returned to the sect. After having taken the throne today, the Dayin Temple has been more and more packed with worshippers. 

The next day, Teng Yuyi accompanied with the phoenix carriage and proceed to go to the Daying Temple, Other than the families of the few important ministers of the imperial court, the Empress also invited the wives and daughter of several foreign officials who strongly advocated for suppressing the rebellion, and decreasing the vassal states.  

Teng Yuyi was arranged at the Xuanpu Pavilion on the eastern side. The daughters of the several dukes and ministers also resided with her. 

Because of the need to meditate and worship the Buddha, the servants of each residence were not allowed to enter the temple, and Duan Fu was naturally stopped outside. 

Teng Yuyi only brought her calmest maids, Chun Rong and Bi Luo, to enter the temple with her. Fortunately, there was not many luggages so everything was easy to organize. 

The master and servant were currently busy tidying up when there was a person outside in the corridor: “There are many trees in the temple so there also must be a lot of birds. It can be reckoned that there is a bird nest on any tree, and there is no need to go through so much trouble. You specifically send someone to help you find a bird’s nest, and beware of disturbing your aunt.” 

This voice had a very childish nature, and it was precisely Princess Changyi. 

A’zhi said: “But the trees are so tall, and the snow is also very big. With just the two of us, how can we climb up? Sister, you quickly think of a method. The weather is so cold, and perhaps the birds are about to freeze to death in the nests so we have to bring them inside soon.” 

The other noble ladies heard these movements, and have long since come out of their rooms: “It’s a pleasure to meet Princess Changyi and Princess Jingde.” 

A’zhi was in high spirits: “Do you want to come with us to find——” 

Princess Changyi hurriedly covered her mouth and nodded at those people: “We have something to find Lady Teng for. One does not know where she is right now?” 

Before the words fell, a door opened on the inside, and Teng Yuyi came out with Chun Rong and Bi Luo. 

A’zhi and Changyi’s eyes lit up: “Hey, you finally showed up. We were just about to look for you.” 

Teng Yuyi was beaming with smiles and saluted: “One does not know why the two Highnesses are looking for this servant?” 

Changyi took A’zhi’s hand and stepped into the room: “Let’s talk after we are inside.” 

The luggages in the room has just been half-packed. The bed and couch laid a lot of clothes and other personal items. Fortunately, it was not too messy or chaotic so it wasn’t necessarily an eyesore. 

Changyi and A’zhi walked around the room, and looked back at Teng Yuyi: “You haven’t forgotten about your promise to us last time right?”

Teng Yuyi said: “If the two Highnesses are talking about finding a magpie’s nest, then I’m afraid that it can not be done this time.” 

A’zhi was a little anxious: “Why can it not be done?” 

Teng Yuyi pointed out the window: “It’s starting to snow again at noon, and the wind outside is so strong that even the treetops can not be seen. If we run out at this time, not only will we not be able to find a magpie nest, but perhaps we will fall half to death. Why not wait until the weather becomes clearer and then go outside to look for it.” 

Changyi said: “But when the weather gets clearer, those birds will have already freezed to death.” 

Teng Yuyi said curiously: “Princess Changyi, who told you that the birds will freeze to death?” 

Changyi said: “Brother A Da said it.” 

Brother A Da naturally refers to Lin Chengyou. 

Teng Yuyi asked: “How did His Highness, the Prince say it?” 

A’zhi’s round face turned a little red in anxiety. She stamped her foot and heavily sighed: “Sister, look. I told you that she wouldn’t know.” 

Teng Yuyi said: “Eh? What is going on? This servant is willing to hear about it.” 

Changyi said: “Once when A’zhi and I were playing at Zheng Pushe’s mansion, we passed by a big tree, and saw Brother A Da looking for something in the tree. We originally thought that he lost something, but he said he was looking for a bird’s nest so we asked him why he was looking for it. He said in the winter, the birds will freeze to death if they stay in the nest so he wants to help the birds move their nests which can also be regarded as doing a good deed. It snowed in Chang’an a few days ago, and the weather got increasingly colder so A’zhi and I began to worry about the birds in the palace.” 

Teng Yuyi looked at the two speechlessly. This Prince Cheng is indeed very capable. After casually making up a few sentences, it could actually make his two younger sisters believe it with absolute certainty. 

She smiled: “The birds won’t freeze to death.” 

A’zhi shook her head and said: “I don’t believe it. Brother has never lied to us. A Yu, don’t use these words to coax us just because you want to be lazy.” 

Teng Yuyi said: “How can this servant dare to fool your Highness. Your Highnesses can think about it. In order for the bird to protect themselves from the cold, they can either fly south in the autumn or construct a nest in advance. With generation after generation, they have gradually increased in number. If it really was that every winter, the birds would freeze to death, then wouldn’t the world’s birds have long already become extinct?” 

Changyi became suspicious: “That’s right, A’zhi. In the past, there has been no one who would specifically move the birds inside. However as soon as spring begins, the birds will all appear chirping around.” 

A’zhi pondered for a while, and pouted her lips: “Such a vile person, why lie to us?” 

Changyi thought for a while and said: “Ever since Brother A Da arrived at Dali Temple, he has been out in the city every day. That day, he clearly said that he was drunk, and wanted to leave, but instead climbed a tree again. Ah, do you think that Brother A Da was investigating a case?” 

She was very excited, and her eyes were as bright as morning stars. 

Teng Yuyi coughed, investigating a case at Zheng Pushe’s residence? 

To take such an action, it would definitely be way too eye-catching. However if he wasn’t investigating a case, why would he use such words to lead away his two younger sisters?

A’zhi was still angry: “Anyways, Brother Crown Prince and brother will also come to the temple later. When brother comes, I will definitely punish him and have him tell us a few stories, or have him accompany us to play is also okay.” 

Changyi imitated the appearance of an adult and sighed: “Last year was when Brother A Da joined the army for a whole year. He came back and told a lot of stories like capturing the evil spirits and eliminating the demons. He would often tell us about interesting matters, but after arriving at the Dali Temple, he would refuse to say anything. He’s been so busy lately, and doesn’t necessarily pay attention to us anymore.” 

A’zhi shrugged her shoulders: “Sister, we can’t find bird’s nests now. Let’s go play with something else.” 

Changyi let Teng Yuyi come up with an idea. When she turned around, her eyes swept over the bed, and said astonishingly: “What is that?” 

Teng Yuyi also looked over, and that thing laid quietly next to her pile of clothes and other personal items. It was precisely the rag doll that her mother gave to her that year.

A’zhi also felt that it was strange. Teng Yuyi’s clothes and accessories are all expensive and neat, yet that rag doll is dull and losing color as if it has been repeatedly touched and washed, shabby looking to the point that it doesn’t look too presentable. 

The two walked over. This rag doll looks different from the common ragged dolls from the street stalls. It was actually a woman holding a little girl as the arms of the two were sewn together with a thread, making a posture of hugging each other. Judging from the appearance, it is most likely a mother and daughter. 

A’zhi said curiously: “A Yu, you are already quite big11means in age, but when you go out for a few days, you won’t even forget to bring a rag doll?” 

Changyi carefully caressed the rag doll’s head: “This rag doll is already so old. Why have you not replaced it with a new one?” 

Teng Yuyi calmly and quietly moved away the ragged doll, and smiled: “I had it when I was a child, and it has been with me for many years so I am reluctant to throw it away. I have a set of wooden figures made by Yangzhou’s craftsmen. They are very flexible and their clothes can also be changed. Although it is not comparable to the things in the palace, it is also clumsy and adorable. Do the two Highnesses want to see?” 

The two looked at each other: “Okay, you can take it out for us to see.” 

Teng Yuyi put away the rag doll properly, and took out the set of wooden figures for them to play with. 

The three of them sat down. Teng Yuyi picked up one of the dozen wooden figures, and a feather fan. She raised her arm while having the appearance of putting on an act: “I will be Zhuge, and you can be Cao Cao. Put the boat on the board, I have come to borrow grain.”

Changyi grabbed a little figure in green clothes: “I don’t want to be a big-beard villain. I want to be the big beauty, Diaochan! A’zhi, you be Lu Bu.” 

A’zhi shook her head: “I don’t want to be Lu Bu, and I also don’t want to be Zhuge and Cao Cao. They are all boring. I want to be Minister Gu Quzhou.” 

While they were playing, there was suddenly a voice outside: “Who are you? What are you doing here?”

Thanks for reading! This chapter is really long so if there are any grammar mistakes, feel free to let me know!