Silence, endless silence. Since getting into the car, awkwardness and speechlessness spread between them. Luo Lin Yuan wasn’t such a sensitive person. If he was sensitive, he wouldn’t have lived seven years ago.
He thought he had a big heart, but he wasn’t big enough to stay in such a private environment in a car with his ex, who has been away for many years and still be leisurely and contented.
What’s more, they have only met again for less than two days and know nothing about each other.
It doesn’t count, Yu Han knows his job, he knows Yu Han’s phone number, and he has a child. It was just that there was nothing between them… and he really don’t know what to talk about.
After a long time, Luo Lin Yuan held out his first awkward chat, “You have a nice car.”
Yu Han turned on the music and returned a sentence with a yeah. Luo Lin Yuan had nothing to say, and the sound of music flowed quietly between them.
Most of the song list was light music and piano music, so Luo Lin Yuan can’t help but look forward to hearing that song. But there wasn’t, one song after another passed, but he still didn’t hear the song Starry Sky.
His home wasn’t far from Painting Garden with half an hour’s drive away. Even if it was embarrassing, he always wanted to stay with Yu Han and stay longer.
The car was full of Yu Han’s scent, slowly wrapping him up. He smelled the ambiguity from it and was afraid that he thought too much.
Their relationship back then, he thought he loved so much that it was still unforgettable, but he didn’t dare to speculate whether the other party was the same as him.
Probably not the same long ago, otherwise there wouldn’t have been Yu Yuan’s existence.
From the moment he chose to break up, he and Yu Han were on different paths.
Lin Shu once told him that even the strongest feelings can be wiped out with time. Just like wounds, they always heal. The world of human beings has no such fairy tale, going around, so you’re still here.
In fact, what Lin Shu said wasn’t wrong. When he stayed in the United States for his second year, he thought that his heart would never heal.
With time, he gradually covered it with a thin scab. The more time passes, the thicker the scab, so thick that he thought that his heart had recovered as before.
He had a box of sketchbooks, all drawings of Yu Han. From sketching a photo to copying and writing from memory, the first sketchbook was wet with tears and potholes.
Later, he learned not to cry.
Year after year, he thought of Yu Han less and less. After graduation, he followed Lin Shu’s arrangement and entered the gallery. He saw more things and more people.
He thought his heart had gradually calmed down, or rather, had become numb, and he mistakenly regarded it as if he was healed.
It wasn’t until he passed a street performer on a snowy night, carrying his painting equipment, that the familiar tune reached his ears. The Starry Sky performed with a guitar was like a sharp blade, piercing the thick scab in his heart.
At that moment, the past swept out. The wounds that had never healed, drew fresh blood again. He held his painting tools and couldn’t help crying like a child on the street.
It turned out that he never stopped thinking about it. He just thought that if he didn’t think about it, it wouldn’t hurt anymore.
So he went back home in spite of everything, only to be shocked by the changes in C City the moment he actually landed there. He returned to the Third Middle School, only to find that it had long since changed its name and merged.
Things are what they are, so what about the people?
It was always his choice, so who can blame him?
For those who were desperate to be splashed with cold water by reality, most of the flames of blood were extinguished, and only a little courage was left. They don’t even dare to find it, because others may have long had their own life. It was better to keep some thoughts and hope.
Now it seemed that he guessed it quite accurately.
Yu Han came out earlier than he thought, he was happy and sad. Missing a person alone was too painful, he didn’t want Yu Han to suffer. He was also sad that at the end of this relationship, only he was left in place, confined in his own circle, not knowing when the ban would be lifted.
Moreover, Yu Han has long had other ties, such as this child and the child’s mother.
That is, on the right track. Why bother to walk the thorny path with him as he did back then?
Luo Linyuan’s sorrow was stirred up by light music, and he couldn’t calm down for a long time. He needed the Starry Sky to stabilize him.
There was no Starry Sky. Yu Han asked a few times but didn’t hear him back.
The car stopped at the red light. Yu Han turned off the music and called his name, “Luo Lin Yuan!”
Luo Lin Yuan was awakened and stuffed his melancholy back in his stomach, but unfortunately, his eyes couldn’t hide, revealing a little bit. He averted his eyes, “What’s wrong?”
Yu Han said, “Apart from these, don’t you have anything else to ask?”
Luo Lin Yuan pulled himself together and looked for a topic to talk about, “What are you doing now?”
Yu Han: “Software development.”
Luo Lin Yuan was surprised, “Does C University have this major?”
At the green light, Yu Han turned his head to look at the road, “I didn’t go to C University.”
These words provoked Luo Lin Yuan’s endless curiosity. He seemed to vaguely remember that Guan Shuofeng inherited the family business and engaged in a chain of shopping malls, which had nothing halfway to do with software development.
Guan Shuofeng forced him and Yu Han like that back then. How come Yu Han still didn’t change his surname and even his job had nothing to do with Guan Shuofeng?
He fell into deep thought, but Yu Han couldn’t stand the silence any longer, “And?”
Luo Lin Yuan said blankly, “What else?”
Yu Han said in a calm tone as if he was nonchalant, “About me, is there anything else you want to know?”
Luo Lin Yuan: “Then.. is Grandma okay?”
Yu Han didn’t answer immediately, and Luo Lin Yuan’s heart seized up. Yu Han said, “She passed away.”
Luo Lin Yuan said quickly, “I’m sorry, I didn’t expect…”
Yu Han: “It’s okay.”
At this time, the community where Luo Lin Yuan lived was getting closer and closer, two people coincidentally became quiet. Yu Han didn’t want to talk, and Luo Lin Yuan didn’t dare to speak.
The car slowly stopped and pulled over. Luo Lin Yuan unbuckled his seat belt. At the same time, he heard the sound of the handbrake being pulled and the engine being turned off. Yu Han said, “I’ll send you.”
Luo Lin Yuan: “It’s okay, it’s enough for you to send me to the entrance of the community.”
Yu Han: “Aren’t you afraid of the dark?”
Back then, Luo Lin Yuan had to be sent by Yu Han to the entrance of the community because he was afraid of the dark and because of his night blindness.
Luo Lin Yuan didn’t refuse anymore. He got out of the car, the night breeze blew over. He was so cold that he forgot to put on his jacket, and he couldn’t help but shiver.
It was so dark. Yu Han also noticed, “Wait a minute.” He unlocked, opened the car door, and took out a thin jacket from the back seat. The color was very light and didn’t look like Yu Han’s clothes.
Yu Han handed it to him, “Put it on.”
Luo Lin Yuan didn’t refuse, so he took it and put it on. When he was busy in the past, he always felt that home was too far and too long from the entrance of the community. Today, when he walked with Yu Han, he felt that it was too short and they arrived in a moment.
When he arrived downstairs of his unit, Luo Lin Yuan stopped and reluctantly said, “I’m here,” he pointed to one of the buildings, “I live here on the 11th floor.”
Yu Han took a look at that building and said good. Luo Lin Yuan was a little confused, what’s good? Was Yu Han still coming as a guest?
Yu Han repeated that sentence for the third time tonight, “Do you still want to know about me?”
Luo Lin Yuan was quiet in the dark for a moment, “Will you tell me what I want to know?”
Yu Han: “Mn.”
Luo Lin Yuan: “Why?”
Yu Han didn’t answer.
Luo Lin Yuan suddenly smiled, “Yu Han, you already have your own life. You have a child and you’re doing quite well now.”
Yu Han’s voice was suppressed, and Luo Lin Yuan couldn’t see his expression clearly. Yu Han said, “Then don’t you want to ask about the child and the child’s mother…”
Luo Lin Yuan interrupted him, “I don’t want to know!” The jealousy churning in his heart almost grew sharp thorns, and it was hard enough just to suppress it.
Luo Lin Yuan felt bitter from the root of his tongue. He said, “In the end, it has nothing to do with me, right?” It’s not a life he’s involved in, and there’s no way to get involved, so it doesn’t matter.
He heard Yu Han say, “It has nothing to do with you…”
Luo Lin Yuan clenched the corner of the jacket tightly.
Yu Han’s breathing became heavier and heavier, but at a certain moment, he took it all back along with those strange feelings that Luo Lin Yuan had noticed together and disappeared cleanly in the air.
Yu Han said, “Then, goodbye, Luo Lin Yuan.”
Luo Lin Yuan suddenly understood why Yu Han’s expression was like this when he said goodbye.
The word goodbye was really hard to hear. It was hard to hear and harsh at the same time.
His heartbeat went from slow to fast. Although the lights in the community weren’t bright, they weren’t dark either. Even if he was night-blind, he could still see the way clearly, so why bother people to help him?
He had long since ceased to be the arrogant Young Master Luo back then, and he doesn’t need anyone to help him.
From the big to small things in the Painting Garden, he helped grab them. He could even do simple decorations, nail wall paintings, and assembling and disassembling furniture.
Not knowing whose dog barked and turned on the answering light, his vision cleared and what he saw was Yu Han’s fading back simultaneously.
He couldn’t help but his eyes burned as if all the strength he once learned had been left behind. Yu Han became his shallow tear spot and he could accumulate tears with a poke.
He took a few steps after him and raised his voice, “Are you still coming tomorrow?”
Yu Han stopped walking, without speaking or looking back.
Luo Lin Yuan softened his tone, interspersed with an inaudible vibrato, “Come on.”
Luo Lin Yuan: “Don’t come because you hate me.”
Do you hate me?
I like you, a lot.
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