Chapter 127
My panic faded somewhat as I reached Kinsleys door. There was music playing within, barely audible with the soundproofing, and the scent of cooking reached my nose. That was strange. As far as I knew, neither Ellison nor Kinsley were any good in the kitchen. Ellison was terrified to even toast his sandwiches after an incident where he almost set the apartment on fire.
I banged on the door. When there was no answer, I banged again.
The electric deadbolt unlatched, and a smiling, dark-skinned woman opened the door.
I blinked. Abuelita?
Estrada lightly swatted at me. For the last time, Matthias. Im not that old.
Whats the historical justification for hitting a guy in a wheelchair again? I straightened my hair, watching her with amusement. My once professor looked different. Closer to how I remembered her from our office hours, when she was still teaching.
Chitn Estrada shook her head.
Whatever Id been expecting to find, it certainly wasnt this. What are you doing here? Visit no(v)eLb(i)n.com for the best novel reading experience
Before she could answer, Kinsley yelled from deep in the apartment. Is that Matt?
Estrada twisted in place to answer. Yes.
Good, maybe he can help solve this clusterfuck.
Doubt it. Another voice. My brother.
Swearing, Nia. Estrada challenged loudly. In all the time Id known her, Id never heard her raise her voice.
Uh. Sorry. Kinsley sounded genuinely chagrined. Which was even stranger.
Well, from the sound of it, Ellison hadnt done anything drastic. Id been so prepared for the worst that dealing with anything less felt like a relief.
Whats happening? I asked in a low voice, as Estrada let me in.
Im cooking. And your brother and Kinsley are negotiating.
Before I could ask what the obvious question, I saw them. Ellison and Kinsley were sitting across from each other. Ellison looked irritated. What really took me back was Kinsley. Her typical grumpy disposition was gone, replaced with a dead-eyed stare and neutral expression.
Bringing him into this isnt going to help. Ellison sighed.
I cant know whats going to help, if you dont tell me what you want. Kinsley steepled her fingers under her chin.
You cant give me what I want.
I scanned the room, considering how to approach this. Theyd clearly reached an impasse. Jumping directly in just after arriving would make Ellison feel cornered, like we were ganging up on him.
Miss my message? I asked Kinsley.
She glanced at me and sighed. Kind of in the middle of something.
I noticed Estradas family photo on the table. When I glanced towards the kitchen, she was still milling about, steam rising above the stove. Estradas living with you? How did that happen?
Oh. Kinsley lost the dead-eyed expression for a moment, suddenly nervous. Guess you havent looked at the roster lately. Before shit hit the fan, I may have told her a little bit about my situation, and she basically gave me a crash course in economics. Pretty much became a consultant in everything but name, so it was only fair to make it official. Estradas in the Merchants Guild now.
Irritating as it was that she hadnt consulted me on that decision, it was probably the right call. Since it seemed more and more likely we were consolidating here, Id want Estrada in our region anyway. Granted, I would have tried to do it less directly, and kept her insulated and uninvolved with the guild, but I appreciated that Kinsley had recognized her value and put her on the payroll.
See? Ellison leaned back on his hands, smirking. The Merchants Guild is growing by the day. You can handle losing one person. Its not like Im helping anyway.
Kinsleys dead-eyed expression snapped back into place. She focused on Ellison, unblinking. Yes. I dont need you. And the Merchants Guild would survive your absence. That doesnt mean I dont want you in it. Youre a founding member. More than that, you think fast on your feet, and the information you gathered at the open-forum formed the foundation for the alliances were building today. Which is why Im willing to revisit your contract and adjust it within reason. If you want more to do, Im willing to work with you on that as well. Things are entirely different than they were a week ago. Not being able to contribute now means nothing when the world could flip itself on its head tomorrow.
I couldnt help but be impressed with how much Kinsley had improved. There was no trace of the desperation that plagued her during our negotiation for the dungeon key. On an average personhell, even a shrewd personit would have worked. But I knew from years of experience that you couldnt take a hardline approach with Ellison. Hed just egg you on and stop taking the conversation seriously.
Right on cue, Ellison scratched his chin. But if the state of things is so volatile, what if the world flips itself back? Ill just be useless again.
Kinsley cheeks reddened. You
Look, Im going to save you a lot of air. Nothing you say will convince me. Theres no magic words that will suddenly make me want to stay. Theres nothing you can offer me. Were done, kid. Ellison leered.
The taunt worked. Kinsley puffed herself up, about to bite down on the kid comment, which was undoubtedly what Ellison wanted.
Enough. I looked between them. Neither met my gaze. Ellison. Lets take a walk.
Roll, you mean? Ellison tried.
Really? He raised an eyebrow. Because its one of my most vivid memories. Right up there with the trial and the funeral. I got busted for letting a friend mooch off me during a midterm. He got a failing grade, and I got suspended for a week. Do you remember what you said to me?
I did. But I wanted to hear what he remembered. That was a long time ago.
Ellison smiled to himself. I thought youd be furious. You werent even angry that Id let a friend cheat. Just disappointed that Id taken the risk. After that, you told me that I should always put myself first. Always. Thats a weird thing for a kid to hear, you know? Totally counter to everything were taught. Sharing, compassion, rainbows, and fucking butterflies.
The first shred of guilt Id felt in years lanced through me. Surviving was day-to-day, back then.
Ellison held up a hand. Im not contesting that. Anyway. Because it was so uncommon, the advice fascinated me. I cautiously took it to heart, and after a while, realized you were right. Nothing in the real world reflected the lessons Dad taught us. People who share get taken advantage of. Compassion is just a tool others use to feel better about themselves.
Dad couldnt possibly know what was in store
He lied to us. Ellisons distant gaze slid to me. And so did you. The longer I watched you, the harder I clung to your philosophy, the more I realized it. Youre a hypocrite, Matt. And after I realized that, it was all I could see. The tear in the projector screen. And the more I saw it, the more I started to hate you.
I fell deep into and banished emotion, letting the words wash over me. That doesnt make any sense.
Ellison shook his head. First, you put your life on the line to save a region that has nothing to do with us. Then you woke up, beat to hell and in a wheelchair. And the first thing you do? Bring some broken girl home. She cant even leave her room, and when she does, its like shes scared the walls will swallow her. Theres no endgame in it. You just did it because she was your friend or something. And those are just the most recent examples. Youve never practiced what you preach.
I bowed my head low. You have no idea what youre talking about.
Ellison threw his hands in the air. Maybe I dont. Could be this is all part of Matts master plan. But if thats true, its yet another example of you keeping me in the dark. Im done.
What about your sister. Mom. Are you done with them too?
For the first time, Ellison hesitated. It lasted a fraction of a second, but it was there. Yeah. I am. Until recently, Moms been nothing more than a burden. Iris is too naive.
It was obvious what he was doing now. He was angling for a clean break. One so severe it could never be mended.
I held my head up and looked at him. Really looked. He squirmed under my gaze. I know youre trying to twist the knife. Make this conversation irreversible. Its not. We can go back, Ellison. To before we sat down at this table. Before you asked Kinsley to void your contract. Itll be like nothing ever happened. Ill bury it.
Ellison put a hand to his mouth, then slowly lowered it down to the table. Thats not an option, Matt.
My eyes stung. I didnt want to do this. But I had to know. You know what bothers me, about your whole philosophy? The philosophy you say I gave you? And maybe I did. I dont know.
What now?
I seethed. If I was out there, during the transposition? If I was a User? I would have run myself ragged trying to protect all of you. Theres nothing that could have stopped me from fighting, no cost too high. Maybe that makes me a hypocrite, but who gives a fuck. Its a hill Id be happy to die on. But you? I glared at him. Someone following the path youre on? I get the feeling they wouldnt raise a fucking finger to help anyone. Family included. Theyd still go out there, of course. To get theirs. Because thats all that fucking matters, right?
If he had no idea what I was talking about, it would have sounded like hypothetical raving. But the truth was written all over his face. A wave of rage that surged from nowhere, shattering his apathy. There it was. Final confirmation Ellison was a User. For a moment, I thought he might leap over the table and strangle me.
Ready for the I jolted at the sound of our waitresses voice. She looked between the two of us, her eyes wide. Ill come back.
Its fine. I took the bill and flipped it open. It looked remarkably similar to Kinsleys original invoices, before wed ironed out the store. I signed my name and left a tip. There was a squiggle of text on the upper-right-hand side of the receipt. I focused on it. Tara Strickland. Whyd she write down her name?
Probably for you to add her as a friend.
But why?
Ellison gave me a dry look. Then pointed to where the waitress had dotted the I in Strickland with a heart. She likes you, idiot. You probably saved her cat, or grandma, or something.
Oh. Now I could never come back here.
Im guessing you want me gone. Ellison said. Hed turned sideways in his seat to stare at the nearby wall, his veneer of apathy completely reformed.
I shook my head. Youre my brother, Ellison. That hasnt changed. Go talk to Kinsley. Shes cooled down by now. Shell find you a place somewhere in the building.
Some distance would probably be better. Itd be awkward if I keep running into you all after this. He made a vague gesture between us.
Ill let her know.
Great.
Good.
I couldnt bring myself to look at him. For once, I need you to take what Im saying at face value. This isnt a gambit, or bait, or a guilt trip. Whatever angle youre working, I genuinely hope it goes well for you. But if you get in too deep, you can always call me. I will always be here for you. The door never closes.
Just... stop. Ellison pushed his chair out and stood. Hell, you should be celebrating. Im finally out of your hair.
With that, he shoved his hands in his pockets and walked away.
I waited there for a long time after he left.
