C/T Warning: Mentions of child tra****ing; implied Su—
___
After the sun had set, the air grew cooler. Cheng Suran stood on the balcony, allowing the breeze to blow for a while, which seemed to clear her muddled mind. Just as she was about to turn around, a hand reached out from behind and closed the window.
"You'll catch a cold."
Jiang Yu said behind her.
It sounded very close, so close that she could smell the rich fragrance of iris, and feel the warm breath falling on the tips of her hair. Cheng Suran remained silent, her body tensing up.
Jiang Yu was also silent.
Time seemed to move even slowly.
The overlapping shadows of two people were reflected on the window glass, Jiang Yu was half a head taller than Cheng Suran, motionless, with her eyes lowered, not knowing whether she was looking at her or thinking about something.
Cheng Suran remembered that Ruoxian would go back to cook tonight, and she became a little anxious after staying here for too long.
She turned sideways slowly.
"I'll head back first." She said, giving Jiang Yu a quick glance.
Jiang Yu regained her senses and took half a step back: "Go after eating."
Cheng Suran shook her head: "Ruoxian is cooking at home today."
As the words left her mouth, she herself felt a moment of confusion.
That strangely familiar tone…
Hearing the word "Ruoxian", Jiang Yu frowned, her long lashes fluttered, seeing that Cheng Suran was about to leave, she ran after her and grabbed her wrist.
Cheng Suran was pulled back and found herself in Jiang Yu's embrace.
"What are you doing... let go..."
"Just for a moment."
Jiang Yu interrupted softly, tightening her arms, and nuzzled against her hair.
Cheng Suran stood stiffly.
"There's a saying that delayed affection is cheaper than grass. Ranran, do you believe in this?"
"I don't know."
She let Jiang Yu hug her and closed her eyes.
It was the truth, she had no idea. What counts as affection, how long is considered late, how can one define cheap? But she knew what Jiang Yu wanted to say.
"Then..." Jiang Yu opened her mouth, hesitated, and swallowed the word "us", "Is there still a possibility?"
Cheng Suran gently pushed Jiang Yu away, and was about to say that she should calm down, when suddenly there were two beeps from the direction of the door, and then, she saw a slender figure walking around the entrance.
"Sister Yu-"
The visitor came leisurely, with a pair of charming fox eyes smiling brightly. Seeing the people in the living room, her face turned slightly stiff, and her smile froze abruptly: "Little sister?"
It's Bai Lu.
"Didn't you go to find Mina?" Jiang Yu looked at her in surprise.
Bai Lu raised her eyebrows: "I've been there. So, I thought I'd drop by here for a meal, Sister Yu. You said I could come anytime and treat this place like my own. I wanted to give you a surprise." She approached as she spoke, her gaze shifting towards Cheng Suran.
"..."
Jiang Yu was speechless for a while.
It was a promise she personally made, and it was also a privilege she handed over to Bai Lu. At that time, she did not expect that this would become a potential issue in the future.
"Long time no see, little sister." Bai Lu looked Cheng Suran up and down.
Cheng Suran frowned. She didn't like the term "Little Sister", but she still wanted to save face, so she just nodded and turned to Jiang Yu, "Miss Jiang, I'm leaving first."
She walked past Bai Lu.
"How about it, Sister Yu, isn't the old lover better? Look at the canaries you've raised these past few years, which one is comparable to your little sister." Bai Lu smiled at Jiang Yu casually.
Cheng Suran froze.
"Ah, that, I forgot, it's Miss Cheng now."
"Bai Lu--"
Jiang Yu warned in a deep voice.
"Ah? Bai Lu blinked, "Sister Yu, don't tell me you didn't get back together with the little sister. That's a pity, little sister looks so promising now..."
"Shut your mouth!"
"..."
Cheng Suran listened silently, logic told her that she had to leave immediately, but her legs seemed to be rooted, and she couldn't move. These past years... canaries you've raised…
Wait.
These past years?
She suddenly felt weightless, her whole body fell down, and her heart felt empty, as if a small piece had been dug out, and there was no pain, only a little soreness.
"I'm sorry, Miss Cheng, don't mind it. Although Sister Yu has no shortage of younger sisters, you must be the one she likes the most…
Before she finished speaking, Jiang Yu slapped Bai Lu with her hands.
—pak!
The slap was so hard that Bai Lu's head was tilted and she stumbled.
A hot tingling sensation spread across her cheeks. She covered her face and stared at Jiang Yu with wide eyes. She was frightened by the cold and stern look on her face, and was speechless for a while.
"You…"
"Get out."
Jiang Yu pointed to the door.
The air in the room seemed to freeze, so quiet that even the sound of each other's breathing could not be heard, the faint sound of the boat's flute outside seemed to come from far away, a bit unreal and ethereal.
"Telling me to leave?" Bai Lu's eyes filled with mist, "Are the things you said and the privileges you gave me, don't matter anymore?"
Jiang Yu said blankly, "Don't let me call someone to throw you out."
"Fine"
Bai Lu sneered with tears in her eyes, turned and left.
–bang!
The door slammed shut.
Cheng Suran was shocked back to her senses, looked at Jiang Yu, and smiled awkwardly: "You could've let her finish speaking."
"She's right."
Jiang Yu took a deep breath slowly and met her gaze.
"I did find a lot of little lovers again. Just after we separated, life returned to the way it was before you appeared, but this time, my template for finding a lover is different from before. Let me think... There were eight each with some similarities to you, to varying degrees. But I never treated them as substitutes, just like before you, those girls who resembled Qi Yan..."
She said it all.
Every word felt like tearing at her own flesh.
After listening, Cheng Suran lowered her head and looked at the couple slippers on her feet: "Actually, you don't need to explain to me, you... didn't do anything wrong." Her voice became smaller and smaller, and she looked up at Jiang Yu again. , "If I hadn't been busy studying and working,and had time for dating, I would have dated too, without needing to explain to anyone. Everyone has their own life."
Five years, of course she has time to fall in love, but her heart seems to have been injected with anesthesia, numb and unaware, women with good or bad qualities, even men, can't make her get back the feeling of being moved.
Because her heart has been moved before, she knows what it's like to love someone warmly, so she couldn't deceive herself.
It's better to work hard and make money than to worry about spring and autumn all day long.
"It's not about right or wrong, but I should explain."
"Why?"
"Because you're someone I care about."
Jiang Yu's voice was very soft, she stared at Cheng Suran's face, took a step forward, her wrist slightly raised, and then lowered again.
She wanted to hold her hand.
"From the moment I first saw you, you were special to me, but at that time I didn't know what this special feeling meant. I only knew that pure money transactions were enough to buy companionship, and I didn't want to be sincere. But I don't know when it started, my feelings for you became different. I wanted to see you all the time, see you smile, hear you talk, hug you, kiss you, and do many things together. When I found myself having this kind of thinking, I was afraid that I was falling for you, scared that you would completely enter my life, scared that I'd lose control and lose my sanity... Unfortunately, it took me the past two years to figure this out. I don't even know if there's still time left..."
Cheng Suran frowned, reached into her pocket and grabbed the little rabbit tightly, her palms hurt a little, and a violent storm erupted in her calm eyes.
Is that so?
"Ranran." Jiang Yu tried to hug her.
Cheng Suran dodged away, avoiding her gaze, and said in a low voice: "I should go back, goodbye." After speaking, she turned around in a hurry.
Jiang Yu stood rooted in place, watching her leave.
....
Source: https://www.jjwxc.net/onebook.php?novelid=4738582
This translation is originally posted on
love4baihe.blogspot.com
please read it there. and check out other stories too
Leaving the community, Cheng Suran drove aimlessly on the street, from the east to the west of the city, from the inner ring to the outer ring. She watched the sky darken little by little until it was completely dark, and went to a gas station.
When she got home, the lights were on in the living room, and there was movement from the kitchen.
The range hood hums, there were clinking of utensils but there is no noise through the closed transparent glass door. Wen Ruoxian was cooking inside, she was wearing an apron, her long hair was pulled back, seemingly unaware of someone entering the house.
Cheng Suran's mind was in a mess, and she was really not in the mood to say hello, so she went back to the bedroom sullenly.
She closed the door and turned on the light.
She collapsed on the big bed, reached into her pocket, and took out the round little rabbit.
It had become dirty after many years.
In her hazy memory, there was a green leather train, a platform, but there was no eighteen-year-old Jiang Yu. She imagined, what would an eighteen-year-old Jiang Yu be like? 1.79 meters tall, size 42 feet, a face that wasn't adored by mainstream aesthetics...
Before entering the world of modeling, before walking on the runway, before the flowers and applause, before the dazzling limelight of today.
A plain, ordinary person.
And she, a poor ordinary girl, without nice clothes and favorite toys, at an age when she barely understood anything, was about to be sold off by her own biological father.
They met each other when they were the most ordinary and equal, and then separated, and when they met again, there was a period of unequal grayness, and then they separated again, only to meet once more, having circled around a very long way.
The shackles on her heart suddenly disappeared, and she felt herself becoming lighter.
Cheng Suran put the little rabbit on her chest, slowed down her breathing, and used it to feel the rhythm of her heart beat. Her body gradually relaxed...
She didn't care at all what her father did, she didn't care how despicable he was, anyway, that person had already died early. She only cares about Jiang Yu and everything related to Jiang Yu, even if she doesn't want to admit it.
[Because you're someone I care about.]
[I wanted to see you smile, hear you talk, hug you, kiss you, and do many things together.]
She could feel the warmth of liquid rolling beneath her eyelids, but no tears flowed out.
Eight little lovers...
The sour and swollen feeling returned to her heart, filling the empty corner.
She understands the truth, but after all, human beings are not machines, and they cannot maintain rationality all the time. It's been five years, and she hasn't been able to forget about Jiang Yu. Learning all this today, she still felt a bit bothered.
It was quite sudden.
Bai Lu's face flashed in her mind, she opened her eyes suddenly, and sat up straight.
Bai Lu!
Bai Lu had been unkind to her before, and it was those malicious ridicules that woke her up and contributed to their current situation. Bai Lu likes Jiang Yu, so it's not surprising that she is hostile to her, she knows it.
But what happened today?
Was it intentional? Was there some ulterior motive? By exposing Jiang Yu's past in front of her, did Bai Lu want to embarrass Jiang Yu or make them suspicious of each other, causing harm?
The more Cheng Suran thought, the more peculiar it felt, yet she couldn't figure out any clues.
Bai Lu did a similar thing five years ago. At that time, she was young, innocent, and so in love. She couldn't hold back her emotions after being provoked by a few words. But now, she will not be easily provoked by others, and let the evil one get her wish.
—tok tok
There were two knocks on the door.
"Ranran, are you inside?"
Ruoxian's voice called from outside.
Cheng Suran was startled, stuffed the little rabbit back into her pocket, and quickly stepped forward to open the door.
Their eyes met, and both of them froze for a moment. Wen Ruoxian was still wearing an apron, her eyes showed worry, "When did you come back?"
"Just... five or six minutes ago."
"Is there something wrong?"
"Nothing."
Cheng Suran touched her nose guiltily.
"Then why didn't you go to the kitchen to eat? You came straight to your room. I thought you hadn't returned yet. I was about to call you, but I noticed the shoes at the doorstep... Thankfully." Ruoxian chided playfully, shaking her head.
Normally, if Ranran came home while she was cooking, she would go to the kitchen to eat a bite or two first.
Today, she quietly returned to the room.
Based on her understanding of Ranran, eight or nine points out of ten, when she acts this way, she has something on her mind. Perhaps it was related to her recent trip back home. It could be something her family said or did, but she often preferred to digest things on her own.
She knew about Ranran's family situation.
Seeing her suspicious face, Cheng Suran wailed silently. Having a best friend who understood her so well was a double-edged sword. But this was something she couldn't reveal right now; she needed to put Ruoxian's mind at ease first.
"No, I remembered something about work while on the road, so I was in a rush to go back and check my laptop. I just finished and was just about to come and see what delicious food you made." Cheng Suran took her arm and acted like a baby.
Lying didn't make her blush at all.
Wen Ruoxian breathed a sigh of relief, nodded: "It's all your favorite food."
"Wow, let's go, let's go, I'm starving to death."
....
There is no moon tonight.
Jiang Yu sat on the bay window of the bedroom with her knees bent, holding a big rabbit plush in her arms, pinching its long rabbit ears one after another. The bedside table lamp was dimly lit, and her lonely figure was engulfed in darkness.
The phone vibrated twice.
There is a WeChat message.
She couldn't wait to pick up the phone to unlock it, click in, but there was no red dot on Ranran's profile picture, and the person who sent the message was Bai Lu.
[Remember to collect my body for me.]
Below is a photo of a large basin filled with burning charcoal.
Jiang Yu gasped, unable to type quickly enough, she switched to a voice message, her voice stern: "Bai Lu, why are you so crazy?
Bai Lu: [Heh.]
After a while, a slightly longer voice message came over: "I'm not crazy, I'm very fine, and I really want to laugh. I have given so much and treated you so well, but you are still guarding against me. You hit me over a canary... you just want me to die... okay, then I'll die, to satisfy you, you'll dream of me every night, how nice…"
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