CH 50

“Hello! I’m Wakutsu, the Ochimusha!”

“Oh no, Konginiwa! Gouemon!”  (T/N: Goemon speaks in broken Japanese, Konnichiwa!) 

“Well, today I’d like to give the summoned goblin, Goemon, some of the foods sold in Japanese convenience stores!”

“Sute, Honiniwa, Soup Curry, Gogonin, Gouemonni, Hohonino, Vinibon, Deutete Tetobe, Momiage, Masu!”

Goemon’s Japanese was becoming quite questionable. It was still hard for him to write longer sentences. However, Goemon’s lisp attracted the attention of those in the gallery. Perhaps the viewers were also attracted too.

Recently, I’ve been getting surrounded by galleries when shooting for the Ochimusha channel on the first floor. The first floor was by far the safest compared to the other floors, making it ideal for filming with Goemon.

“And here is the food that Goemon will be eating today!”

I guided the camera closer to Wakutsu’s hand.

“Tuna mayo rice balls and iced coffee!”

“Nana mayo rice balls and iced coffee!”

A cheer erupted from the gallery. I had no idea what for though.

“Let’s get to it! First up is the tuna mayo rice ball!”

“Shokushokutemassho! (T/N: Let’s get to it!) Arsho wa nana mayo ogi desu! (T/N: First is nana mayo rice ball!)

“Goemon, the way to eat tuna mayo is to peel off the wrapper first. Watch me.”

Goemon watched intently as Wakutsu peeled off the wrapper of a convenience store rice ball.

“And when the wrapper comes off, just gobble it up!”

Wakutsu then bit into the tuna mayo. Seeing the delicious look on Wakutsu’s face, Goemon cleared his throat.

“Now, Goemon, try it too.”

Upon being presented with a tuna mayo rice ball from Wakutsu, Goemon attempted to remove the wrapper, but failed.

“Do your best, Goemon!”

‘Do your best!’ The gallery cheered in encouragement. What the hell am I even filming?

“That’s it! Almost there! Good luck, Goemon!”

No matter how much you supported him, Goemon was still a goblin at the end of the day. He was not that competent. His hands were trembling as he peeled off the wrapper.

“Ah!”

“Gii!”

Only the wrapper and seaweed remained in Goemon’s hand, and the rice ball itself almost fell to the ground.

Activate [Telepathy]. I don’t like taking food for granted.

As if rewinding, the rice ball returned into Goemon’s hand. He looked at Wakutsu and nodded lightly.

“Eh? Goemon, did you just use your skill now?”

“Gegyo?”

“You were able to use your skills? That’s amazing, Goemon!”

“Gegegyo? Gegigyogegyo.”

Goemon couldn’t grasp what was going on and completely reverted to gobbledygook. I didn’t think you’d push it on me, Wakutsu, Goemon.

“[Telepathy] Goblins! Boom!”

“Ohhhー!”

Wakutsu urged for a response from the gallery, and the gallery responded. I was going to use the body that Wakutsu used [Telepathy] on, but he went diagonally upwards. It was no use. I further activated my [Telepathy] and made a tuna mayo rice ball float, drew a pentagram in the air, and threw it into Goemon’s mouth. Goemon choked at the sudden force feeding of the rice ball.

“Hey, Goemon! Are you okay? Drink this and calm down.”

Wakutsu removed the iced coffee cap and handed it to Goemon.

“Gehooo!!!”

Goemon blew up into bits. On this day, humanity learned that coffee didn’t agree that well with goblins.