Volume 4 - CH 6

P. 203

*

“Suzy, it sounds very quiet.”

Mrs. Collins sat in her bed as she was looking out the window. 

The sea was rough and turbulent as usual. They could hear the endless beating sound of the wind. And yet it felt so quiet.

They could have sensed the incident where everyone in the house was keeping quiet and staying low. 

“Yes, you’re right, my lady.”

Suzy set down the medicine that was used to calm and rest the Mrs.’s ailing heart just a bit onto the bedside and she placed a gown onto the lady’s shoulders.

“The color of your face looks well this morning.”

“I feel so refreshed like never before.”

“It could be because the young miss’ suitor has finally been decided.”

“Yes, that must be it.”

P. 213

As she made a smile, the Mrs opened the palms of her hand and looked down at the cameo brooch. 

It was the brooch that should have been given to Teresa. It was a gift that was passed down from mother to her marrying daughter. On the first dinner night, Teresa was wearing it on her chest.

Suzy was suspicious and wondered if she had taken it out of her daughter’s room.

“If that girl were to be alive….. She would have been loved by someone kind and could have been so happy,”

Suzy widened her eyes in disbelief.

“My lady, did you know all this time?”

“What?”

“Uh, that she wasn’t the young Miss Teresa,”

“She is Teresa, is she not?”

“Oh, of course….”

Even though Suzy said that, she had the feeling that her lady really did know what was going on. She was gently stroking the faint pink cameo like she was reminiscing about her daughter. 

Suzy knelt down and took the lady’s hands into hers.

“I understand very well how my lady loves your daughter. No one would want to believe that they had lost the one they loved so much… But, my lady, Miss Lydia Carlton also has her family and a lover. They are people who care and love her deeply.”

“Lydia…..?”

P. 214

The lady cocked her head, but Suzy didn’t let that stop her and continued.

“Miss.Carlton has done so much for the sake of my lady already. So, please set her free. Before it turns too late.”

Mrs. Collins looked down to Suzy nervously, then she gently stroked her cheek. 

“Suzy, I’m sorry. It seems I’ve caused you so much worry.”

“Oh, no, my lady.”

“I know, could you get me some warm milk?”

“Yes, right away.”

Suzy was away from the room for just a short while, but when she returned with the milk, Mrs. Collins had disappeared from the room.

*

I’m so stupid. Lydia pounded on the door as hard as she could.

No matter how much she hit or kicked it, nothing changed.

When she realized it, the skin on her fingers were scrapped and tinged in pain.

She slumped her body down to the floor and felt like she could cry. 

P. 215

There was only one think candle lit. In time, it would burn out and this underground room was sure to turn pitch black. 

“Stupid, Edgar! What were you going to do if I was really shot at!”

She started to think that it was all Edgar’s fault that her hands hurt and that it was dark and frightening. 

If she were to think about it with a clear mind, then the one who was at fault was Ulysses, but the Lydia right now couldn’t have possibly calmed down.

When she was thrown into this room, Ulysses told her:

[For that man, this sort of thing happens frequently.]

That would have been so for Edgar when he was hunted down by Prince and having his battles when he was living in the underground society.

[That’s why, you won’t definitely be rescued.]

He had said that he lost so many fellow comrades. 

[Because if he thinks that it’s impossible, there’s always the option of giving up. Of course there would, if you didn’t live smart, no one would follow you.]

Give up? That would mean he would abandon Lydia.

No matter how much Lydia was seduced by Edgar, she wasn’t able to trust Edgar’s attitude, and only thought that he was putting his hopes on her ability as a fairy doctor. 

Even if he worried about her and tried to save her, it wasn’t that he emotionally thought of her as special. 

P. 216

And so Lydia was overwhelmed with despair. 

If Edgar were to give up on her, then Ulysses would just kill Lydia who had no value. 

She heard something rustle behind her. She was in a storage room and there were so many different things piled up, so she couldn’t see what was in the back since it was so dark. 

One more time, something rustled and she even heard a faint voice.

It sounded like the cry of a cat.

Could it be?

When she headed towards the source of the sound, the thing that was moving was a tin candy box.

She opened the lid and saw there was a gray-colored ball of fur inside it.

“Nico!”

She rushed to get him out of the box.

“Lydia….? It’s too late for me.”

“What happened, Nico! Pull yourself together.”

She picked up Nico who was completely limp. She panicked and stroked his back, and he usually didn’t like to be touched or handled, but right now he was staying still. 

“I’m so hungry.”

P. 217

P. 218

What?

“Since I was locked up, I didn’t eat anything…”

Lydia felt a bit irritated as she set Nico down on the floor. He plopped down to sit himself on the floor and picked up his tail with a rueful look and stroked it.

“Ohh, I’ve lost the shine in my tail coat.”

“You’re a fairy, so you’ll be fine even if you don’t eat for a while.”

“In order to maintain the refined silver color in my coat, I need my meals….. Oh, right, Lydia, why on earth are you here?”

“I was caught too!” she yelled as she felt ashamed and miserable, but suddenly she turned from being taken over by fear and irritation to becoming completely relaxed.

In reality, even if this empty-headed fairy cat was here, it didn’t mean that Lydiawas going to be saved.

“So you’re locked up too…. Then, you wouldn’t have food with you.”

Nico showed his disappointment and slumped back down again.

“More importantly, Nico, did you find the coats of the selkies?”

“I found a suspicious room. It was made so fairies couldn’t get into it. Which means it’s a room that was made so that the selkies in this house couldn’t enter it, right? When I was hanging around it, I was found by him, and ended up here.”

P. 219

“Him as in?”

“That’s right, Lydia! The culprit is Lady Collins’nephew. Oscar’s the one behind this! He knew right off that I was a fairy and locked me up in this tin box.”

Nico puffed out his chest from pride at his discovery.

“We know that already.”

“….Oh, you do.”

Disappointed once more, he slumped down.

“But, there is a high chance that the selkies’ coats are in that room.”

As she said that, in Lydia’s mind, she started to raise her awareness as a fairy doctor. 

Even though she was possessed by Teresa and was dragged into this incident and happenings, Lydiaremained here because she wanted to save the selkies. 

This wasn’t the time to be irritated at Edgar and pouting in disappointment.

“What am I doing being frightened of being abandoned. I should be the one who shouldn’t give up.”

Lydia stood up. 

“Nico, we’re getting out of here.”

“How? I can’t move a muscle.”

P. 236

“About half…..”

“You were able to save half of them. But you may think I should say that so lightly.”

It was easy if it was just talk. That’s why it would be easy to blame him. But Edgar had really come back from the flames. 

The one who was only talk was Lydia. 

“Why did you come to rescue”

“I said I would definitely save you.”

“I wasn’t counting on that. I don’t believe one word of what you say. …But, then why, why would you go into such a dangerous fire…”

“Even if you don’t believe me, I’ll go anywhere for you.”

“You say that so easily.”

It wasn’t like he did the impossible for Lydia’s sake. He guessed that there still have enough time and that was why he was able to return. 

Even if it was impossible for Lydia to return, he just decided that he would be able to do something. 

“What you did must have been easy for you. Otherwise, you would have given up.”

But she wondered how much courage and nerve one needed in order to calmly determine and act like that. 

He said it so easily that it was for Lydia, but it couldn’t have possibly been that easy. 

P. 237

She was so surprised and her heart was moved, but she didn’t like herself for not being able to honestly say thank you. 

“It’s all right for you to be angry.”

“Why do you think I would be angry?”

“I’m saying such unreasonable, horrible things.”

She felt the sigh that he let out was a particularly long one. 

“When I think I got a step closer to you, you always take a step back,” he said and made a sad smile.

“You sometimes seriously worry about me, and you nearly open your heart out to me, but it’s my fault for making to step away again. I would do things that are insensitive or make you go through horrible things…. I know that no matter what I say, it’s my fault for not being able to have you trust me.”

He was talking in an unusually serious tone.

“I’m frequently told by women I come to get close with. Just like Teresa said yesterday, even if I’m not serious, they just want to feel like we are lovers when we are together. They must feel that I am wishing for a light relationship. My half-hearted attitude must be what makes them say that, but so far I’ve thought that if we were both enjoying ourselves then that would be best. That’s why, to tell you the truth, you were the first one to say to me that if I’m not serious, then to don’t get near you. And so I’m thinking that if someone like you who would say that would come to feel for me, then I might be able to change.”

P. 238

She felt him move to sit down next to her, but Lydia still remained with her head down. 

“Your seriousness and my seriousness may be different. But if you desire me to be serious, then I think I would be able to get near that.”

“That’s impossible. We are too different.”

“I know. But I won’t give up.”

Why do you, why are you like that.

“I said it’s impossible. Because, I’m useless.”

He leaned his head to the side, like he didn’t understand.

“I wasn’t even able to be Teresa. Mrs. Collins knew that I and the ghost girl wasn’t her. She knows that her dead daughter won’t come back. …I too, came to understand that my mother is no where here. I haven’t been taught anything from my mother, and just went ahead and called myself a fairy doctor. Even if I try my hardest, I’m useless.”

If Edgar didn’t come and save her, then there was nothing Lydia could have done in the fire. 

She was sure to not have been able to rescue even one of the selkies. 

In that moment, as Lydia was trying to rouse herself into action, she was practically in complete despair. 

The one that Mrs. Collins had tried to rescue was Suzy and Lydia was left all to herself. 

She only had the pride of a fairy doctor, and didn’t have enough knowledge and experience and there was no one to support her like her mother had. 

P. 239

She was so useless and so ashamed. Because of that, she thought that she was even Edgar had ran out on her. 

And yet he came. 

She was happy, but now, she was feeling that she didn’t have the strength to be able to live up to his expectations. 

“That’s why it’s impossible for me. I’m a coward, and there so much that I can’t do on my own. I’m just bluffing, but really I’m frightened out of my mind. Even if I think that I need to help the selkies, it’s impossible for me to face Ulysses. I just want to hurry and run out of here!”

After she said it, she realized it. She was brought to this strange and unfamiliar place by someone she didn’t know who, and was possessed by the ghost of a daughter who died, and even more, she made the decision that she was going to stay here so that she could help the selkies, but that was only thanks to Edgar being here. 

If she was going to face the enemy with him by her side, then she felt like something could be possible. 

Because she wasn’t alone, she was able to keep her courage. 

She wasn’t aware that she was counting on Edgar, so when she felt that he had given up on her, she suddenly became so terrified and fell into despair. 

“I’m sorry.”

“…..Why are you apologizing?”

“I won’t let you feel that way. I’ll stay by your side.”

P. 240

“I-I didn’t mean that I wanted that.”

It was that kind of meaning, but she suddenly became embarrassed.

“Ever since I met you, a path of freedom has opened up for me. I would be happy if you would continue to stay with me, and in that case, I want you to count on me. I may not know about fairies, but I think I could support you. …..I feel that I want you to lean on me.”

He looked out towards the sea and said it in a way like he was tightening his resolve. 

She stole a glance at him. 

His silky and bright golden hair hanged down over his eyes. She looked at the handsome side of his face and noticed that the end of his hairs was burnt. 

Without thinking about what she was doing, Lydia reached out her arm. She brushed his burnt hairs to the side with her fingers, but then he looked at her. 

His ash mauve eyes were a vague color, which didn’t tell if he was a good or bad man, or if he was cold or warm, or a lie or the truth; they were the impression in themselves that she had of him. 

When she realized what was going on, Lydia’s hand was gripped by Edgar’s tightly. 

His beauty that melted people’s hearts was right in front of her. And yet he leaned her closer. 

“Wa-wait just a…..”

She didn’t stop but stick one of her arms out straight to push his face away. 

“….Hmmm, the mood just now was an okay one no matter how you think about it.”

P. 241

He said it in a way like he was completely dissatisfied.

He really was unbelievable. We were in the middle of having a serious discussion just now. 

“Is that the only thing you’re thinking about?”

“Well, roughly.”

And this obviously wasn’t the time for such a thing.

The country house that stood beyond the trees was swallowed up by even more flames. 

But he swiftly changed Lydia’s mood from a depressed one. He wasn’t a completely frivolous man, and this light character must be Edgar’s weapon. 

People were saved by it and she wasn’t scared anymore. 

“Even if it was someone useless like me….”

Would you want to marry me?

Ohh, but she didn’t the courage to be able to say something like that.

“What?”

“……Nothing.”

Maybe because she was tired, her consciousness was started to drift away even though it wasn’t evening yet.

“I feel so sleepy. ….Teresa is about to wake up.”

She just had the feeling, so she leaned up against Edgar’s shoulder. 

P. 242

Because Teresa would go and get close to him so innocently, she must have felt like she was allowed to do the same. 

It could have not been Lydia, but Teresa’s influence that was taking over. And as she was shifting the blame, no matter how much she cuddled up against Edgar, she realized that she felt displeased about it. 

As her heart beated rapidly, Lydia learned how he treated other women and that he acted in such a loving way towards them. 

When she imagined that it was a hug towards Teresa, she was a little irritated, but if it wasn’t like that, Lydia would be running off in a dash, but in turn, when she thought that she was the one that was reflecting in his eyes, then she thought highly of herself and thought that she was the one receiving all of this in this embrace. 

Edgar’s back is a little wider than father’s. He’s slender but he had more height than father. 

“Teresa?” asked Edgar when he noticed that she made a little fidget. 

“…..The sound of waves…., am I outside?” murmured Teresa in a dazed tone, as she just woke up. Since Lydialet go of the little amount of restraint she had, and she even did the act of leaning up against him, so she thought he might have figured out that it was Lydia until just now who was doing the moving. 

She was flurried at Teresa and how she placed her hand so casually and easily on his lap, and so Lydia used her influence and made her left hand life up from him. 

P. 243

He made a little snicker like he was amused, and Edgar placed his hand over hers in order to stop her from going. 

His hand was much more delicate than father’s. 

“Oh, why are we in a place like this? And my dress has gotten so dirty.”

“The house is on fire.”

“What, oh, no, how horrible!”

Teresa turned around to look and became even more surprised when she saw the fire that engulfed the house. 

In a flash, Edgar made a difficult face and looked up to the sky. 

“The wind has changed direction. Let’s move upwind.”