1006 Nikolai, You Jerk

Looking at the sleeping Long Jinjing in front of him, Lu Zihao forced down the confusing emotions that were causing him to act so unlike his usual character.

‘This is lust, just lust,’ he desperately persuaded himself.

Any other possibility was something that he couldn’t afford to consider. His little Miss Prim and Proper lady deserved a happy and safe life—something that he couldn’t possibly give her. He would just be wronging her if he continued desiring to be with her when he knew full well that she was in love with him.

But…he really wanted Long Jinjing.

He craved for her.

She occupied his mind during the day and his dreams at night. She was like a drug that made him addicted to her, causing him to need her on a regular basis or he would feel like going crazy.

“This is fucking nuts.”

Sighing, he leaned down and kissed her lips again. Her warm breath and sweet taste made him groan, making him want more of her. He deepened the kiss and caressed her lips with his tongue before plunging it carefully inside.

She moaned and instinctively responded to his kiss even while asleep. It excited him. He sucked on her lips and enjoyed this moment. When he almost felt like losing control, he forced himself to stop. He was gasping as he sat back on his heels, creating some distance between them.

“Damn.”

He pressed his hand over his chest and felt his heart hammering inside with the addition of something he couldn’t define. It was a weird sensation—sweet, light, yet also heavy and a little alarming.

These unknown and contradictory feelings were starting to scare the shit out of him.

“Hah….”

He wiped the sweat beading on his forehead with the back of his hand. It wasn’t only his forehead. He was covered in sweat. Cold sweat. It felt so uncomfortable.

Then he suddenly remembered the terrible, off-tune song that the remnant sang to tease him earlier.

‘Can you feel the love tonight?

Tonight~

It’s inside this car~

It’s not enough for this blind ass Nikolai~

That his ass got dumped~

Oh, can you feel the love tonight?

Tonight~

His dumb ass got dumped~

It’s enough to admit that he fell in love~

Believe the very best~

Advice from the love guru~

Yours truly,

Luuuu Ziiiihaaaaaoooooooo~’

The ridiculous love song was now stuck in his head and played in a seemingly endless loop.

‘Damn you, Lu Zihao!’

Nobody replied. The remnant appeared to be “sleeping” after expending its energy conversing with him earlier for almost an hour.

Despite his irritation, he still couldn’t help but think of what the remnant said. It claimed that he, Nikolai, was in love with Long Jinjing.

He looked at Long Jinjing, whose lips were now moist and a little swollen, with a complicated expression on his face.

“I’m…in love with you?”

He shook his head.

“No, that can’t be. This…I can’t possibly…no.”

He abruptly stood up and backed away from the bed, creating more distance between the two of them. However, he didn’t take his eyes off her. His scarred hand pressed harder on his chest. He could still feel his wildly beating heart.

“Shit.”

###

Her phone’s alarm woke up Long Jinjing. It was still dark outside because of the early hour and also because it was now the start of the winter season. For some reason, however, she felt more rested this morning even though she always felt tired upon waking up in the past few days.

She, of course, knew the exact reason for her lacking energy. She was missing the man she loved but didn’t love her back.

Lu Zihao.

No, Nikolai.

Sighing, she pushed herself up to a sitting position on the bed. Then all of a sudden, memories of her dream last night came rushing into her mind. It made her breath catch in her throat because it felt so real.

He had been standing by the bed and looking at her. Then he kissed her.

It was a beautiful dream.

No, it was a painful dream.

She licked her slightly chapped lips. Maybe it was just her imagination but she could still taste him in her mouth.

Her eyes watered. She couldn’t help it. She missed him so much. All she could do to somehow ease the pain was crush the small teddy bear that he had given her in her embrace and press her face against it.

Moments later, she wiped the tears from her eyes and finally climbed out of her bed to start getting ready for work. Then she stopped in her tracks when she caught a whiff of something.

“Huh?”

She leaned down and sniffed at the area by the edge of the bed. Why did it smell like that man? Or was it her imagination playing tricks on her again? Was she missing him too much that she was beginning to have hallucinations?

“Stop it, Jinjing. The two of you are over.”

But…it really smelled like him.

Not perfume, but the natural scent of his body. It was faint but she couldn’t mistake it. With how many times they slept together, his scent was already imprinted deeply in her mind.

“Did you come here last night?”

Her heart started beating hard inside her chest.

“Or am I only imagining things?”

The possibility that he might have secretly come to see her last night pervaded her mind. She looked around her bedroom, trying to find any signs of his visit.

Nothing.

She rushed out of her bedroom, banging the door open against the wall, and frantically searched the living room, the kitchen, and the rest of her unit.

But still nothing.

She walked with wooden legs until she was in front of the wilted flowers he had given her before they broke up. Dried petals and leaves were now falling all around the vases as if to signify the end of her so-called relationship with Lu Zihao. If only her love for him was also easy to die, then she wouldn’t be hurting so much like this.

Her knees buckled and she fell to the floor. Covering her mouth, she tried her best to muffle her sobs.

“Nikolai, you…j-jerk.”