Chapter 1307 - Inferiority Complex
Long Jinjing's lips trembled but she didn't deny her best friend's words.
Chen Fei continued her rant. "I always tell you this. You're so smart, Jing. What's more, you were amazing in your studies when we were still students and have become even more amazing now that we're working. That's why I just don't understand why you always become so unconfident when it comes to yourself as a person.
"You've always had an inferiority complex about your illegitimate birth, I know that. But girl, this is the modern times. Who the fuck cares? Those who still do are idiots and that includes you! So snap out of it. Do you hear me?"
Chen Fei didn't wait for Long Jinjing to respond. She stood up and started pacing back and forth in front of her friend while getting more and more fired up.
"Your birth situation isn't your fault at all. That's something you have no power to change. But you have the power to change yourself and the direction of your life! I can't continue watching you become so stuck in your inferiority complex. It's so toxic!
"And now you even found another avenue to make your inferiority complex worse. So what if Xiulan didn't gain a lot of weight during her pregnancy? Most normal women gain weight when they become pregnant, so that bitch is the one who's abnormal! Big deal! She's her and you're you.
"People only see how Xiulan maintained her overall figure but they didn't see how much she suffered behind the scenes during her pregnancy. Unlike you who's smoothly sailing through your pregnancy with barely any health issues, Xiulan really endured a lot just to carry her twins and give birth to them safely. We all know how often she got ill and literally passed out during her pregnancy. I know it, you know it!
"So don't fucking tell me that you envy her! She had drawbacks and you have yours. But you know what? Yours isn't even that serious. Sure, you've gained a lot of weight now, but with a lot of hard work and perseverance, I know that you can eventually lose all the extra weight after you give birth. Your man is all muscles. What's his use if he doesn't even help you with this little thing?
"I'd rather have you healthy and temporarily overweight than be like Xiulan who had been abnormally slender but ill all the time while pregnant. My gosh, Jing! We work at Orchidia where we promote the value of being beautiful inside and out, and yet here you are, one of the executives feeling ugly and fat and just so fucking inferior!"
Unlike Long Jinjing's earlier defeated appearance, she looked a lot better now. Her best friend's harsh words were hurtful and even offensive, but she still appreciated them. It wasn't her being masochistic. It was her being responsive to a harsh awakening.
She felt like her mind was clearing from a dark and suffocating place of her own doing. The inferiority complex was still there but it wasn't dragging her to the lowest depths anymore.
"I know, Xiaofei," she whispered.
Chen Fei narrowed her eyes. She still looked skeptical but decided she had said enough for today. If Long Jinjing really understood and started changing her outlook to a more positive one, then good. But if not, then Chen Fei would just roll her sleeves and start mouthing off again.
She couldn't allow her best friend to dig a deeper hole and bury herself with her own pathetic demons. No way. She wasn't Chen Fei if she didn't take action.
Chen Fei plopped herself in the other armchair again. Now that she finished her tirade, exhaustion started catching up with her.
Long Jinjing stood up and toddled to the refreshments corner to pour a glass of water for her friend. [Read official chapters on W e b n o v e l (dot) com. Please stop supporting piracy. Also follow author on Instagram: @arriacross]
"Thanks." Chen Fei chugged the entire glass of water, not at all concerned by her unlady-like behaviour.
"Sorry about today," Long Jinjing told her. "You must be bone-tired after taking on more responsibilities to make up for both of us sisters' maternity leave, and yet here I am, adding to your stress with my own problems."
Chen Fei rolled her eyes. "I'm your best friend, remember? If you forget, see if I don't kick your ass."
Long Jinjing chuckled but her eyes remained sad. "Thank you, Xiaofei. I now understand how pathetic I'm acting in nurturing this kind of negative…uhm, toxic thoughts while pregnant. You're absolutely right."
"Of course, I'm right. I'm Chen Fei, bitch."
"Right."
Long Jinjing massaged her belly. She felt the babies moving inside her, but unlike Iris, she didn't find it painful at all. Indeed, Chen Fei was right. Iris might have maintained her beauty during pregnancy but she really suffered a lot. In comparison, Long Jinjing had it rather easy.
Taking a deep breath, determination fought with her inferiority complex. It was a hard battle but her willpower eventually and thankfully prevailed.
"I don't care anymore how I'll look when Ni—Zihao and I take a permanent photo for our little red marriage book. The important thing is that I'm going to marry the man I love who's the father of our children."
"Good!" Chen Fei felt somewhat revived after drinking water. "Then don't waste any more time. You're carrying twins so it's possible that you'll also give birth early like your sister. It's not like I give a fuck if your babies are born illegitimate but I know that both you and Lu Zihao are concerned about it a lot. Now that you've regained a portion of your missing IQ, then what are you waiting for?"
Long Jinjing nodded and smiled.
###
Lu Zihao had been waiting outside the bedroom he shared with Long Jinjing. His fingers were rubbing the Smoking Devil. This had become a habit while thinking about something important.
Finally, the door opened. He straightened and met Chen Fei.
"I'm sleeping with Jing tonight," the woman announced without any preamble.
He scowled. "No. I sleep with her. Go to a guest bedroom."
The annoying woman crossed her arms and lifted her chin high. "Either I sleep with Jing tonight and you'll marry her tomorrow or you chase me away and you wait for who knows how long to make her your wife. Your choice."
"Fuck."
Chen Fei continued her rant. "I always tell you this. You're so smart, Jing. What's more, you were amazing in your studies when we were still students and have become even more amazing now that we're working. That's why I just don't understand why you always become so unconfident when it comes to yourself as a person.
"You've always had an inferiority complex about your illegitimate birth, I know that. But girl, this is the modern times. Who the fuck cares? Those who still do are idiots and that includes you! So snap out of it. Do you hear me?"
Chen Fei didn't wait for Long Jinjing to respond. She stood up and started pacing back and forth in front of her friend while getting more and more fired up.
"Your birth situation isn't your fault at all. That's something you have no power to change. But you have the power to change yourself and the direction of your life! I can't continue watching you become so stuck in your inferiority complex. It's so toxic!
"And now you even found another avenue to make your inferiority complex worse. So what if Xiulan didn't gain a lot of weight during her pregnancy? Most normal women gain weight when they become pregnant, so that bitch is the one who's abnormal! Big deal! She's her and you're you.
"People only see how Xiulan maintained her overall figure but they didn't see how much she suffered behind the scenes during her pregnancy. Unlike you who's smoothly sailing through your pregnancy with barely any health issues, Xiulan really endured a lot just to carry her twins and give birth to them safely. We all know how often she got ill and literally passed out during her pregnancy. I know it, you know it!
"So don't fucking tell me that you envy her! She had drawbacks and you have yours. But you know what? Yours isn't even that serious. Sure, you've gained a lot of weight now, but with a lot of hard work and perseverance, I know that you can eventually lose all the extra weight after you give birth. Your man is all muscles. What's his use if he doesn't even help you with this little thing?
"I'd rather have you healthy and temporarily overweight than be like Xiulan who had been abnormally slender but ill all the time while pregnant. My gosh, Jing! We work at Orchidia where we promote the value of being beautiful inside and out, and yet here you are, one of the executives feeling ugly and fat and just so fucking inferior!"
Unlike Long Jinjing's earlier defeated appearance, she looked a lot better now. Her best friend's harsh words were hurtful and even offensive, but she still appreciated them. It wasn't her being masochistic. It was her being responsive to a harsh awakening.
She felt like her mind was clearing from a dark and suffocating place of her own doing. The inferiority complex was still there but it wasn't dragging her to the lowest depths anymore.
"I know, Xiaofei," she whispered.
Chen Fei narrowed her eyes. She still looked skeptical but decided she had said enough for today. If Long Jinjing really understood and started changing her outlook to a more positive one, then good. But if not, then Chen Fei would just roll her sleeves and start mouthing off again.
She couldn't allow her best friend to dig a deeper hole and bury herself with her own pathetic demons. No way. She wasn't Chen Fei if she didn't take action.
Chen Fei plopped herself in the other armchair again. Now that she finished her tirade, exhaustion started catching up with her.
Long Jinjing stood up and toddled to the refreshments corner to pour a glass of water for her friend. [Read official chapters on W e b n o v e l (dot) com. Please stop supporting piracy. Also follow author on Instagram: @arriacross]
"Thanks." Chen Fei chugged the entire glass of water, not at all concerned by her unlady-like behaviour.
"Sorry about today," Long Jinjing told her. "You must be bone-tired after taking on more responsibilities to make up for both of us sisters' maternity leave, and yet here I am, adding to your stress with my own problems."
Chen Fei rolled her eyes. "I'm your best friend, remember? If you forget, see if I don't kick your ass."
Long Jinjing chuckled but her eyes remained sad. "Thank you, Xiaofei. I now understand how pathetic I'm acting in nurturing this kind of negative…uhm, toxic thoughts while pregnant. You're absolutely right."
"Of course, I'm right. I'm Chen Fei, bitch."
"Right."
Long Jinjing massaged her belly. She felt the babies moving inside her, but unlike Iris, she didn't find it painful at all. Indeed, Chen Fei was right. Iris might have maintained her beauty during pregnancy but she really suffered a lot. In comparison, Long Jinjing had it rather easy.
Taking a deep breath, determination fought with her inferiority complex. It was a hard battle but her willpower eventually and thankfully prevailed.
"I don't care anymore how I'll look when Ni—Zihao and I take a permanent photo for our little red marriage book. The important thing is that I'm going to marry the man I love who's the father of our children."
"Good!" Chen Fei felt somewhat revived after drinking water. "Then don't waste any more time. You're carrying twins so it's possible that you'll also give birth early like your sister. It's not like I give a fuck if your babies are born illegitimate but I know that both you and Lu Zihao are concerned about it a lot. Now that you've regained a portion of your missing IQ, then what are you waiting for?"
Long Jinjing nodded and smiled.
###
Lu Zihao had been waiting outside the bedroom he shared with Long Jinjing. His fingers were rubbing the Smoking Devil. This had become a habit while thinking about something important.
Finally, the door opened. He straightened and met Chen Fei.
"I'm sleeping with Jing tonight," the woman announced without any preamble.
He scowled. "No. I sleep with her. Go to a guest bedroom."
The annoying woman crossed her arms and lifted her chin high. "Either I sleep with Jing tonight and you'll marry her tomorrow or you chase me away and you wait for who knows how long to make her your wife. Your choice."
"Fuck."
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