“…….”
I pulled Benny’s collar slightly.
“What are you talking about?”
Benny didn’t answer.
He looked into the distance and didn’t make a sound until the sun had completely set over the splendid Crown Prince’s Palace.
Somehow I got a little nervous.
‘How would Benny’s mother be satisfied… Isn’t that just revenge?’
Alan killed Benny’s parents. And Benny promised to spare Alan by marrying me.
Right now, he was faithfully keeping his promise, but when Benny showed a strange attitude, a faint feeling of anxiety rose.
Our deal was not a contract that could be proved by documents or witnesses.
It was just a verbal promise that could be broken without a mouse or a bird knowing if Benny changed his mind.
“Why does the Princess think you’re not ‘Lillieta’?”
“Huh?”
Then Benny asked a sudden question.
“I am Benimus Albrecht. It is the name my mother gave me, and I have lived under that name until now.”
The boy put his elbow on his lap and turned his head towards me. His straight eyes flew in a line and were fixed.
“I have lived as ‘Benimus’ longer than the child who stayed in this body for a mere while.”
What determined who a person is was the name given to them at birth or the life they had lived.
Was it the name given at birth or the life that was lived that determined who a person was?
It was a difficult question to answer, but Benny seemed to think it was the latter.
“Besides, the Princess grew up in that body since you were a baby. In my opinion, the Princess who has lived almost all of that life is closer to the real one.”
“…Benny.”
“Anyone else would have been happy to know that the body was real. After all, the important thing is the outer shell. Even if the soul changes in the middle, as long as the outer shell is the same, it doesn’t matter who’s inside…”
“Benny, I’m not Lily.”
I gently cut Benny off. Then I moved my hands, covering both of his.
“Lily is dead.”
Lilietta von Bauner was dead. She would never live in this world again.
It was a depressingly simple statement. But Benny tilted his head as if he didn’t understand.
“…The Princess is alive.”
Benny held my hand carefully. His skin was cold, so my body temperature felt hot.
“If Lilietta had been resurrected even to the soul, everyone would have believed it. Because these hands are definitely those of the real princess.”
“…Maybe.”
This time, I kept my eyes away from him.
A group of stars appeared in the blue sky. It was like the saying that the stars were once the souls of the dead.
“But if I become the real princess… Lily’s death would never have happened.”
Lily certainly existed in this world. There was a time when a little baby was held in Alan’s arms, crying to see him.
The handful of time they shared was not mine.
“Benny, you know… In the ant cave where I lived as a child, there were many children who disappeared without anyone knowing.”
Without realizing it, I squeezed Benny’s hand tightly.
Children born on abandoned lands often disappear without the knowledge of mice or birds.
They stopped breathing as soon as they came out into the world, died without living for a long time, or evaporated to nowhere after being led by an outsider.
No one ever found those missing children. It was closer to eternal disappearance than death.
“I… I was scared. I was afraid I’ll disappear like that.”
I was one of those children whom no one remembered. Had I not met Alan, I would have remained that kind of child forever.
“I wanted at least one person to know that I lived in this world.”
If I was a good kid, I would have wanted everyone to be happy even if I died. But my wishes had always been selfish.
“I wanted someone who would cry after I die.”
I was alive. I was here. Lying to live humbly, crawling on the ground.
“I was that kind of kid. From the beginning…”
I had never been a precious princess.
A bad girl impersonating a princess. It was a shabby life, but that was me.
Even I couldn’t forget that life.
“It’ll be comfortable if I think about it as you said. I wanted to be Lily. It is still the same today.”
I lowered my head and rubbed my tired eyes.
“However… no more. I have to stop.”
Hair in a rich red slid to my chest, and the wind blew through the back of my neck. I reflexively felt goosebumps.
“I’ve been lying for four years. I hurt and deceived the family who made me happy… I can’t even use the dead Lily’s body. I’m sorry, I can’t run away anymore. I can pretend I don’t know… I can’t…”
The more I talked, the more out of breath I got. As I bowed down my upper body, Benny came close to me.
“Princess.”
The boy wrapped his long arms around me and pulled me in. My cheeks were pressed against his hard chest.
“…Ugh.”
I grabbed his collar and shoved him with a lot of force.
The emotion that bothered me the most right now wasn’t the despair of not being able to become Lily. A piece of sincerity that was far gloomier than that became a pointed spear that pierced the depths of my heart.
‘I’m happy.’
That was my intention. I was happy to have a reason to live with my family.
No matter how fake the soul inside was, I wouldn’t touch Lily’s body.
That thought reassured me. And it was sad.
‘Why does my heart look so disgusting?’
‘I feel sorry for Alan for losing his daughter’s body to me.’
‘I feel sorry for Pedro and Hugo too. I pity everyone who missed Lily.’
So I decided.
“When I get home, I will tell the truth. Dad… No, to the Duke.”
I changed his title in the middle of speaking. Maybe I would never be able to say the word ‘Dad’ again.
“The Duke would want to kill me, but… do not worry. My body belongs to Lily. Not even a nail will touch his daughter’s body.”
I raised my head and looked at Benny. And I did my best to raise the corners of my lips. When I smiled, it was easier to hold back my tears.
“Relax. I am yours.”
I opened my arms wide and hugged Benny. I leaned so close that not even the wind could pass between us and whispered to him.
“I will always be by your side, so you have to spare the Duke. Understand?”
Soon the sun had set completely.
The long shadow drawn by the setting sun turned into a veil of night and fell over our shoulders.
Benny was lost in thought and whispered in my ear.
“I’ll keep my promise.”
His voice, which passed through puberty, was low enough to believe he was no longer a boy.
“I will keep the Duke alive. The Duke will continue to laugh, talk, and be happy… Does that reassure you?”
Benny gently lifted my chin.
His eyes filled with the damp vision. The vivid purple light was beautiful even in the dark.
“…Yes.”
I felt relieved. I smiled broadly without wiping my wet eyes. This time, it was a sincere smile.
“You are the best, Benny.”
At those words, Benny froze in place.
Silence fell in the deserted garden. I glanced at Benny and gently placed my hand on his cheek.
“…Benny?”
Benny’s condition was a little strange. It was dark and I couldn’t tell, but his ears seemed to suddenly turn red.
“What’s the matter?”
“…….”
I was startled as I groped the back of Benny’s ear. The skin clinging to my palms was much hotter than usual.
It was different from my memory of the boy who was so nonchalant in any situation.
“Princess.”
Benny wrapped his arms around my waist.
Perhaps because of the rise in body temperature, the skin that touched me tingled as if static electricity had occurred.
“I just want Princess to be happy.”
He pressed his well-shaped lips to my ear.
The freshly exhaled breath flowed in. Without realizing it, my stomach was tense.
“If I can get rid of all the Princess’ misfortunes, I will do anything.”
I gently shook my head.
A handful of twilight still remained, subtly illuminating his face as he approached my nose.
‘Huh? Benny…’
Something was strange. Benny usually did a lot of unexpected things, but this was especially unfamiliar.
‘…Was he a kid who got excited so quickly?’
A boy who was calm not only when he returned from the war but also when he met Her Majesty.
The nape of Benny’s neck was wet with hot sweat.
The boy’s whole body, which seemed to be fine even if he was stabbed with a needle, gave off an embarrassment of heat.
Being embarrassed by that fact, my ears were even hotter than Benny’s.
“I can do things that the Princess would hate.”
Benny’s face came closer. I couldn’t move my mouth that was like a crucian carp’s.
It felt like an invisible hand was holding my ankle.
“It’s okay to hate me. It doesn’t matter if you treat me harshly. Just don’t leave me.”
Benny’s voice hovered right in front of my lips.
His rich silver eyelashes shimmered as if they were about to touch my skin at any moment.
“You have to stay by my side and accept what I give you.”
The boy’s arms wrapped around my waist like restraints. The hug was strong, as if to not let me go anywhere.
“…Because that’s what you promised.”
Just when I closed my eyes, I heard a lively voice from nearby.
“Lilietta!”
“Argh!”
I throwed my body back.
I almost fell to the ground, but Benny caught me without struggle and sat me down next to him.
A small lamp popped out from among the dark bushes.
“It’s a little late, right? Sorry, it took me a while to prepare.”
It was the damn crown prince.
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