“Cersinia… if you want to stay here, I’m fine with it, so do it.”
“You…”
Surprised, Cersinia tried to turn her head to face him, but she couldn’t. Because Ben buried his face deeper in her neck.
“Ben, let go of this.”
“…”
Even at her words to let go, he only put more strength on his arms, hugging his waist. It seems he never wants to let her go.
Indeed, his words and actions were different. He said it’s okay to stay here, but he’s holding on to her and not letting her go… Cersinia had no choice but to rest her head on his shoulder. To wait for him, who hasn’t yet calmed his emotions.
“You knew.”
Leaning on his firm body in a relaxed position, she muttered as she stared at the ceiling.
Ben knew it all. He knew she was troubled by that. And one of the ways to solve that trouble was for her to stay in this territory. Ben even considered it. So he must have made his own conclusions and told her to stay here.
“I’m fine. This place is not that far away, so I will come down often.”
At last, the sound of nonsense came out of his mouth.
Cersinia was amazed by the absurdity and said, “Ha. What do you mean it’s not far away? Did you forget it took two whole days for us to get down here?”
Even they arrived in two days because they almost rode nonstop. Her estate, Glory, was located on the outskirts of the Empire, so it was not easy to come and go from the capital to here. That’s why she came down here on vacation. If it was that close, she would have visited it right away.
“It’s okay. Cersinia should pay more attention to this place, so I will come down often.”
“What? Why are you deciding this alone?”
Slowly getting angry, Cersinia moved her body to get away from him. But his arms that were holding her didn’t let her go.
“Then I’ll move my base here.”
“…”
Cersinia, struggling to escape him, stopped her actions for a moment. His low-key voice was sincere. Ben wasn’t the kind of person to joke about this.
‘Again. He doesn’t think about himself, only thinks about me.’
Eventually, anger filled her head, and she spoke with a cold voice.
“Let go.”
“…”
“I told you to let go.”
His arms let it go helplessly under the constant threat. Cersinia immediately turned her body and glared at him.
“Are you kidding me? Do you think I want it?”
Cersinia bit her lips. There was resentment in her eyes, which were blazing hotter than the flames. She didn’t want this nor wanted his sacrifice.
‘What did he think of our relationship? Why does he always try to sacrifice himself every time?’
“Cersinia.”
Ben slowly raised his gaze. His eyes sank heavier with sincerity than ever. He was only looking at her in the carriage coming out of the Heness shopping street to the County.
That face was deep in thought. The crimson eyes that shone inside. Her eyes glittered more than a falling shooting star.
Ben noticed her wish and ambition. Cersinia sometimes made cute complaints about too much work. Still, she always sat in her office and cared for her territory. Beyond responsibility, it was something you couldn’t do if you didn’t want to. It was the first time Cersinia looked like that. Her eyes were telling him that she wanted to do well.
Recognizing it, Ben made a decision. He didn’t have any worries when he made that decision. Because if it was something she wanted, he wanted to make it come true. And he always wished for her happiness. However, it took longer for him to suppress his selfish desire to always be by Cersinia’s side.
“I don’t want to get in the way of what you want to do. I don’t want you to have any hesitation in your choice.”
“So you came up with the solution to come down here? Does it make sense? If it’s not your one-sided sacrifice, what is it?”
“I don’t think of it as a sacrifice.”
Cersinia sarcastically made a face full of disapproval, but Ben answered silently.
‘Sacrifice?’
He really didn’t consider his decision a sacrifice. Because everything he did for her was not a sacrifice. It was just an extension of his greed to be by her side.
“…”
Cersinia, who was staring at him with her lips closed, eventually raised her hand. She splashed water on his face.
“Get yourself together.”
She opened her mouth again, watching the water dripping from his pitiful face.
“Honestly, I would be lying if I didn’t think of staying on the estate to solve the problem. It’s the fastest way to get results.”
“So stay here. I—”
“No. I can’t.”
“Why? I want you to do what you want to do.”
He didn’t back down this time either.
“Because of you.”
Their eyes met with her answer. Cersinia’s eyes didn’t waver, and his eyes gradually lost their strength. Ben read the truth in her eyes.
‘Ah… As expected.’
Ben lowered his head. Drops of water flowed down his chain, dripping helplessly. In the end, hesitation appeared in her choice because of him. He really didn’t want this to happen. All he wanted was to let her enjoy everything, do anything she wanted to do.
Sometimes he wanted to be a sword that she could use, and sometimes he wanted to be a shield that could protect her. It was the reason he was holding on to power. He wanted to put everything in front of her so that there was nothing she couldn’t do in this world. He didn’t want to get her way.
It was then. Ben, who was criticizing himself, slowly raised his eyes at the voice he heard.
“How can I not think of you? It’s you, no one else. Naturally, every decision I made includes you too.”
“…”
“It’s our job.”
Cersinia looked straight into his shaking eyes.
That was such an easy answer. Because she loves him. Because Ben is her lover. To the extent that they decided to be together for the rest of their lives. So this was their job. His and her work.
Ben and Cersinia were already part of each other. He was so deeply entrenched in her life, so it was impossible to separate her life from him. Naturally, she couldn’t help but think of him when making any decisions. That’s why they thought hard about what’s best for themselves.
“Our…”
Ben pondered the word ‘our’ with a look as if he had been hit by Cersinia’s words. It became as hot as the lava in his heart.
Thump.
His heart fluttered at that one word.
“You’re never a stumbling block to me. I have no choice but to hesitate. I hope the choice will be the best answer for us.”
“…”
Ben was fully aware. That he had never been a stumbling block to her in the first place. Because she and he were precious to each other. As she was everything to him, he was everything to her. That was why they thought about each other in every decision they made. Ben slowly raised his hand and put it under her cheeks. In her eyes, looking up, there was only him. As if their love for each other is equal.
“So don’t think like that.”
Cersinia caressed the back of his hand wrapped around her cheek. The anger towards him was long gone, and only affection remained. His love was so large that she couldn’t even dare to imagine, would sometimes piss her off like this. But even that, she knew it too well that it was part of his love.
“Cersinia.”
A low voice sounded.
“Yes.”
His thumb gently rubbed her cheek when he heard an answer.
‘An existence that makes me to be myself. Everything about you. The only existence that could destroy me at once.’
“I love you, always.”
Even if he said it ten thousand times, it was still not enough.
“Me too. I love you, Ben.”
Love with the same color and the same size touched each other.
Before long, his eyes filled with desire turned to Cersinia. The hot breath got tangled up. Big hands clasped her waist. The heat of longing for each other filled the bathroom. It was a long night for them.
* * *
A few months later.
“You look better than I thought. I thought you would completely shut down food and drink.”
Limapheus looked displeased at the figure of Ben, who was in front of him.
The day before yesterday, Countess Gabieta went down to her estate again, so he thought Ben would be frustrated, but he was so calm.
“Why don’t you follow her now?”
“I would only bother her if I was there. I don’t want her to put off what she wants to do because of myself.”
“…”
Limapheus opened his mouth at the goosebumps answer.
‘That’s right. This fucking guy is like this.’
He wondered why Ben didn’t follow her, but it was for Countess Gabieta in the end.
“Tsk. Anyway.”
Seeing the unchanging Ben, Limapheus clicked his tongue. Ben wasn’t hurt by his reaction.
It has been several months since the two of them went on vacation. While the Crown Prince was married, Cersinia became busier. To live life fully as Cersinia Gabieta. Living the life she chose, not the life already set by destiny. And Ben was constantly supporting her move.
“So when is the completion date?”
“This week.”
“School. As expected, she’s very interesting.”
Limapheus smoothed his chin with an exciting expression.
