CH 97

Self Reflection

I answered Misaki’s question with a question of my own.

“Misaki, what kind of image do you have of Kamishiro Kousei?”

“Umm, someone who is kind to everyone and always looking out for others……?”

If it just comes out of the top of her head then that answer is probably correct.

In fact, I’m sure that would be the answer if I search Kamihiro Kousei up on the internet. Even if it’s just a chance meeting in the city, Kamishiro Kousei would never turn away from the fans that come up and talk to him.

I rarely go out as Kamishiro Kousei but if a fan spotted me and asked me for a handshake or a selfie, I’d immediately turn into a Yesman.

……the exception would be if they ask for a sign since I do not have one yet.

“Then Misaki……if I ask you to give your impression of me objectively, no, what kind of image do you think people have of me?”

“Well, if it’s when you have your hair down then a smart and serious person……?”

“Wrong.”

“Eh, then a bookworm?”

“Unfortunately, that’s wrong too.”

It seems that Misaki can not give an objective impression of me.

Certainly, my test score is up there but only Masato knows about my score and rankings on the test.

Another one is a bookworm. Surely, people might think of me as one since they would always see me reading in the morning. However, only a handful of people would have that impression of me. Most people probably wouldn’t even register my existence in their minds after all.

To have an impression of someone, first, you must know him.

There are people who imagine what a person’s like from their name but without personally knowing them, an image of that person should be practically nonexistent.

Then how do you get yourself an image?

Making yourself known?

Standing out?

Being famous?

That’s probably it. If you do at least one of the three, people will have an image of you.

Kamishiro Kousei is both conspicuous and famous.

Then what about me? Hiura Seiya?

“Until recently, most of my classmates don’t even recognize my existence. I’d always arrive first at school and return last. That’s why, let alone being seen as smart or a bookworm, people don’t even know that I exist.

Now that I’m involved with Reika-san, people might start to notice me even if it’s just my name.

“So this might be sly of me but the image of me, Hiura Seiya as a human being—–it doesn’t exist. I was simply not there.”

“……so, what does that have to do with anything? Even if others do not notice, the fact that Onii-chan is a kind person still doesn’t change, right?”

“No, it does. As Hiura Seiya, I am not a kind or gentle person. Even if someone is in trouble right in front of me, I think I wouldn’t reach out.”

“Why, I don’t understand? Onii-chan would always come to find me, right?”

“That’s because you are my family, Misaki. If a small child gets lost in the city, no, if someone I don’t know is in trouble, I don’t think I will go out of my way to help them.”

If it’s my acquaintance like Masato, Misaki, or Reika-san then naturally I will reach out.

I don’t think it’s appropriate to say it myself but I’m very sweet to the people who are close to me.

My circumstances right now are unimaginable for me just a few months ago.

Talking to Masato, talking to Ichinose-san, talking to Reika-san, going out to play with them—–being confessed to by Reika-san.

If someone were to ask me how it gets like this, my answer would be that it started when Kamishiro Kousei helped Reika-san.

Kamishiro Kousei happened to hear Reika-san’s cry for help when some guys tried to pick her up in the city and rescued her. Without this incident, I wouldn’t have been involved with Reika-san, let alone Ichinose-san.

A mob whose existence is outside of his classmates’ minds and the most beautiful girl in the grade whose existence is far from being a backdrop of the class. No matter how many times I think about it, there’s no scenario where the two of us would get involved with each other.

Of course, I have fun every day right now so I don’t have any intention to complain about my current situation.

But when I think about these [what if] scenarios, I just don’t see myself getting to where I am as me.

What if, what if I noticed Reika-san’s plea when I was not Kamishiro Kousei—-

“If it was Hiura Seiya who noticed Reika-san, I probably wouldn’t reach out and help her. No, I might pretend not to notice in the first place.

“Why?”

Misaki murmured with an astonished expression.

“Because that’s how I am. Not Kamishiro Kousei but Hiura Seiya.”

“…..-stand……”

“What?”

“I don’t understand what you’ve been saying at all! Whether it’s Hiura Seiya or Kamishiro Kousei, both of them are Onii-chan! Just because you have two different names doesn’t mean that you are two different people right!? What’s the difference between Onii-chan and Kamishiro Kousei in the first place! To me, they are both my kind older brother…….”

“Yeah, if it’s Misaki then both Hiura Seiya and Kamishiro Kousei would be kind huh. Still, that’s why you can’t tell the difference, Misaki.”

“I don’t get it at all……”

“But for me, it’s clear as day. After all, to me, Kamishiro Kousei is——

————my ideal self.”