CH 201

【192nd day】

「I'm sorry, Rana. I laid with Lanseal!」

After finishing the various preparations, I returned home in the morning and have been in a Dogeza since then.

The morning scene of carnage……

「Eh, okay. Would you like to take a bath? Or would you like to have a meal? I challenged myself to make something called "congee" this morning. I think it turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself」

……didn’t happen.

「Eh, ehh? Hang on, dear wife」

「Yes?」

I threw my arms around Rana's waist and clung to her. She was wearing a robe today, something she hadn't done in a while.

「I was unfaithful!」

「Haaa. So, bath or meal?」

「W, wait, wait」

This is too much outside of my expectations.

I had predicted three possible scenarios.

The first was that she would cry. This would be the hardest for me to deal with, and I might even kill myself from the guilt.

The second was that I would be severely punished. I was prepared to take being half-killed by Rana's recently tempered fists. No, I'd rather she just kill me.

The third was that she would tell on me. Mainly to Gladvain-sama & kin. I believe I'd definitely die from this.

And yet, I wasn't even close.

「Dear, what exactly are you up to?」

「What's wrong with you!」

The case of me, who was supposed to get blamed, getting angry instead.[1]

「Oh, I'm sorry」

「Okay, Rana, listen to me very carefully」

「Ah, okay」

「I, with Lanseal――――」

「You laid with Lanseal, right? After all this time, what's the big deal?」

「………………You're not angry?」

Rana is the type to show her emotions on her face.

And the face she has on is not one of genuine anger. In fact, she looks the picture of calmness.

「If I'm being honest, I'm a little baffled that you hadn't gotten around to it sooner」

「I see, you were baffled, huh? ………What's the heck is this, I wonder?」

I feel like I've felt this way before, or maybe I haven't, or maybe I just forgot.

「Ara, Souya. Welcome back」

「Oh, Onii-chan, you're home」

Lanseal and Ea came up from the basement. Both of them had moist hair, so they must have just taken a morning bath.

「Lanseal, I'm having a little trouble here」

「Yes, how can I help, madam?」

Lanseal's attitude towards Rana had changed.

It was as if they were master and servant.

「My husband is distraught over what he did with you」

「Ra, Rana, if possible, let's have this conversation elsewhere」

It's bad to talk about this in front of Ea!

I'm not trying to paint myself in a better light this late in the game, but it's not good for my sister's emotional education. What if she falls for a guy like me in future?!

Was what I was thinking, but when I looked at Ea, she was eyeing a corner of the room.

There, I sensed a presence lurking.

I had blundered due to the sense of security I felt at home and my feelings of remorse towards Rana.

In the living area next to the entrance, commonly called the "relaxing room"……

「Good grief, how truly unsightly」

……with a flip of the cloak of invisibility, a male elf revealed himself.

「Geh, Melm. I thought there was a whiff of something strange in the air, but it was you, huh? Give that back!」

「This is quite a handy item. Let me borrow it for a little――――」

Without skipping a beat, Ea stripped Melm of the cloak.

After fixing his mussed clothes and hair, Melm looked down his nose at me.

「That aside, Ea, take a good look at how pathetic this man is」

「Huhh?」

「Despite having a wife, he fell for a beastkin woman's charms, and is reduced to clinging to his wife and begging for her forgiveness. How utterly pathetic. Have you grown disenchanted with this man? Just break off your engagement or whatever with him and find another man. And it just so happens that the son of an old friend of mine, a man of venerable lineage who has been hiding away on the islands in the vicinity of the center continent, is―――――」

「Shut up」

Ea silenced Melm with just one remark.

By the way, I'm still hugging Rana's waist and she keeps stroking my head. It makes me want to forget everything and go to sleep.

「Ea, I'll say it again. Despite having a wife, this guy―――――」

『You don't get to say that』

This time, both sisters hit their father with identical retorts.

「I don't care what kind of women Onii-chan falls for or is attracted to, but you! Especially you! Have no! Not even a little bit! Right to say anything about it!」

Ea is dead right.

No matter what happens from here on out, Melm and the baldy are the last two people who get to make any comments about my problems with women.

「Excuse me, Melm-sama」

Lanseal also spoke up.

「I wanted to ask you a question regarding my nanny. I've heard that you were very close to her」

「Well, I'd best head home, I suppose」

Hey, wait, you shitty elf.

Just how wide-ranging is your womanizing?

「Melm………”-sama”」

Rana interrupted Melm with a penetratingly cold voice. She mussed my hair, then moved away and cracked her knuckles.

「Hey. We may have cut ties, but to talk to me, your father, like―――――」

「I have one question for you. The bottoms of your shoes are a little damp. It's faint, but I can smell the soap, shampoo, and perfumed oil we use. From where did you gain entry to our home?」

「Ur, urgh」

He must have come in from the basement, right?

………………Ah! No way! Did he use the cloak's invisibility to peep?!

「Melm, you're the worst! You creep!」

「Melm-sama, as bad as my father is, I've never heard of him peeping on women bathing. You're the worst」

Ea and Lanseal ripped into him.

What a stupid man. If you're going to peep, you should have used cutting-edge technology that doesn't leave any traces. Going there in person and actually leaving evidence of it is the height of stupidity.

「Allow me to apologize, Lanseal. I was thoughtless in my actions. But, Ea, what's wrong with a father checking up on his daughter's growth? Not that there's much growth to begin with―――――」

I heard a loud thud.

I wondered what it was, then I realized that it was the sound of Rana stomping her foot on the floor. She had on a pair of slippers with a small rabbit design on them that were made by Makina.

Her fist lightly struck the stomach of the father who had disowned her.

But……

「Garghhkk!」

Melm let out a strangled cry, as if his lungs had been throttled.

Did she send the impact from her foot stomp through her body and into his somehow? I have this feeling I've seen a technique like this in Chinese martial arts.

In a movie though.

「Melm-"sama", there are no longer any ties between us. And yet, you peeped at the naked bodies of my husband's mistress and my sister, and you even spewed forth your foolish opinions. How will you pay for your sins?」

I saw a demon behind Rana.

「W, wait」

The king of elves was shaking like a leaf as he tried to bear the pain.

How truly amusing. I can feel myself smile with glee.

「Rana………No, Rauaryuna, there may no longer be any ties between us, but I'm still pleased to see how much you've grown. However, leaving aside your breasts, your buttocks may have gotten a little too big for―――――」

The king of elves, who still maintained his abhorrent manner even under such circumstances, ate an uppercut to the jaw. That was followed by a heel drop. And to finish him off, she stomped on him as hard as she could.

With that, he died.

Well, not really, he's just passed out.

「Shoes aren't allowed in our home」

I had no idea if there was any meaning behind it, but Rana pulled off Melm's shoes.

Ea and Lanseal dragged Melm away and dumped him outside. Then, Rana threw his shoes out, closed the iron door of our home, and that was that.

「Now, dear, would you like a bath? Or would you like a meal?」

「A meal please」

I see.

I've realized one thing.

Simply put, as long as I don't play around with women as outrageously as their fathers, I won't incur their wrath.

They're a pair of incorrigible fathers-in-law, but for once, I'm grateful to have them.

But I'll definitely bear in mind that the moment I overstep the bounds, I'll be thrown out like that.

Breakfast was congee, as Rana had said.

The congee sat in an earthenware pot in the middle of the table with the accompanying side dishes laid out around it.

Bacon stir-fried with curry powder, meat miso, green vegetables and dried fish tossed with garlic and soy sauce, sweet and spicy dried meat sandwiches with chili peppers, braised pork squares, boiled eggs, and heaps of pickles.

It was quite a luxurious spread of side dishes.

「What's all the ruckus?」

Regure, who was still here, came down the stairs.

『Everything's fine now』

Replied the three princesses in unison.

「Food!」

Maria came running from behind her to the dining table.

『Wash your hands』

Warned by Rana and Lanseal, the three girls washed off the filth that had gotten on them from touching the king of elves, and then I followed suit and washed my hands as well.

After that, we had a lively breakfast together.

「Yes, it's spicy. This is five years too early for you, Maria」

「Hehehe~. Then I’m eating it～………………Piinyaaa!」

「I told you so. You never learn, do you?」

「Madam, today's rice has an entirely different taste to it」

「That's right, Lanseal. I added more water to make it easier to eat, and I mixed in some barley to give it a different texture」

「About that, Madam, I was hoping you could teach me how to cook delicious rice. Neither Souya nor Makina were able to teach me this one thing」

「Well, I'll teach it to you when I'm ready for death」

「But you're probably the one with the longest lifespan here……」

「What the heck is up with this pork?! It's so fluffy! It melts in my mouth!」

「Regure, I'll teach you how to make it later so please let His Majesty try it as well」

「Ehhh, me cooking~?」

「Learn it. You're gonna be a mother soon, aren't you?」

「Dear, you want another helping?」

「Sure」

「I’ll heap it high, alright?」

「Heaping congee high would be a problem. It'll spill!」

Amidst the relaxed atmosphere after the meal, I plopped myself down at the table and watched the backs of Rana and Lanseal as they washed the dishes.

I feel blessed.

And satisfied.

Even if I were to die at this point, I'd have no regrets.

「Onii-chan, what have you got planned for the rest of the day?」

「Sorry, I have work to do. I need to discuss some things with the merchant companies regarding the shipment. I should be back by noon」

「Oh, was today the day the ship is setting sail? Will my pouches sell, I wonder?」

「Oh, it'll sell. It'll definitely be a big hit. You'll be like a stretched-out octopus(highly sought after)[2] all over the world as an elven designer」

「What’s an octopus」

「It's a creature with wriggling tentacles that lives in the depths of the sea」

「Don't compare me to something that creepy」

「It's a metaphor, just a metaphor」

「I don't quite get Japanese metaphors」

「Hey, Ea. ………I'm your big brother, right?」

「That's right. But one of these days, you'll be changing class into my husband though」

「Leaving that aside, you're right. I'm your big brother, aren't I? Yeah………big brother」

「Hmm? What a strange Onii-chan you are. Oh, that's no different from usual, I guess」

I spent some time with my sister. After a leisurely chat, I picked up the spear in question from Makina, said my goodbyes to everyone, and then left my home.

「You're still here?」

「I have business with you」

「What do you want?」

The king of elves was puffing on a paper-rolled cigarette.

Its smoke is sickly-sweet. If I recall correctly, it's a cigarette used for pain relief.

「Let's change locations」

Melm tottered ahead of me.

We made our way to a nearby alleyway that was secluded, and then we both sat down. We looked like a pair of old-school delinquents.

「That hero of Elysium. What are you planning to do with him?」

「If I'm being honest, I'm of two minds about him」

「I've seen you making all kinds of preparations, so I'm sure you have a way of defeating him. But from what I can tell, you don't seem to have a grasp on what he's after」

「………You're exactly right」

I still don't know what Khius' goal is. I also don't know the objective of the magistrate, who had suddenly come to this country. I'm sure that the two are somehow related though.

「In a small country on the distant left continent, a lone beast appeared」

Melm suddenly launched into an anecdote that I had heard before somewhere.

「It was a huge beast wreathed in flames. It intended to burn down all the homes, the people, the soldiers, and reduce everything to ashes. But in the end, it was said to have been killed by valiant generals. At the same time, the representative hero of the Eighth Pope, who was leading their expeditionary force on the left continent, disappeared. Do you see? It's my belief that the true identity of that beast of flame is that representative hero」

「………………」

I see.

To lay down their lives to slay a hero's beast, as expected of His Majesty generals. I wish I had the chance to meet them.

「And this isn't the first time it has happened. If you dig through history, you can find many accounts of countries being destroyed by giant beasts. And now, there‘s a representative hero in this country, unofficially and without any of his knight-companions accompanying him. At this point, even a fool like you can likely guess why he's here and what he's trying to do」

「You think he's a spearhead here to bring down the country?」

「Spearhead, huh? That's a strange way of putting it. But it aptly expresses how a hero is just another expendable soldier. Well, if a spearhead could bring down a country, it would make for a much easier war」

「Melm, something's not right after all」

There's something strange.

「Khius requested that I assassinate the magistrate」

「He was likely using the magistrate as a test to see if you're capable of defeating beasts」

No.

That's not it either.

「There's a difference between the magistrates and the beasts. The immortality they possess is completely different. Melm, I think you're mistaken」

「Aaah?」

He glared at me all of a sudden.

He's the type who gets upset whenever someone points out his mistakes, I see.

So troublesome.

The kings around these parts are all so small-minded. Why can't they be as big-hearted and heroic as His Majesty?

「Wait, are you saying that they're different creatures? Then, the creation of the magistrates――――」

「Errr, are we done here?」

I want to get things done by noon, as I had promised. Or rather, it's probably faster to ask Khius in person. No matter what he's got in his stomach(he knows), I simply have to make him spit it all out.

「Wait, I'm not done yet」

「It’s too much trouble」

I ignored him and started walking away. Melm opened his mouth regardless.

「You're not the only one who's concerned or making preparations. There's no reason or need for you to fight alone. The people of this country are strong. Don't you think you should take advantage of that?」

「No, I don't. I can't trust them. If something is within my capabilities, it's better to do it myself instead of using others. Isn't it the same with you?」

「That's fine if there's a replacement, but is there anyone who can take your place?」

A replacement for me, huh?

That's an oversight. I'll have to give it some thought.

But, well……

「Hey, Melm. Could it be that you're looking out for me?」

「………………Shut up or I'll kill you」

The way the king of elves hid his embarrassment was scarier than the hero.

[1] Yes, it’s written like the title of a light novel.

[2] It’s a metaphor in Japanese that means “in high demand, highly sought after, popular, etc”. I think the best way to illustrate this metaphor in English is “everyone wants a piece of it”. This illustration of the metaphor depicts that perfectly, I feel. (courtesy of dic.pixiv.net)

This saying probably has its roots in the way they keep the octopuses stretched out when they dry them. (Pic courtesy of kakosui.exblog.jp)

Ah, the many sides of Melm lol. We rarely get the chance to know more about him. I can tell you for free that he hasn’t changed one bit, despite how it may seem, and he never will. He’s one of those characters, like King Lemuria for example, that never changes, but we keep finding more about as we peel back the layers. And there have actually been many small instances already where his facade has crumbled…

By the way, you know that entire speech Souya gave about peeping? Sounds like someone who’s been there done that, huh? Well, keep it in mind. The time when this becomes relevant isn’t far off. Pffftt.

As for “No matter what he's got in his stomach(he knows)”, just read it as “No matter what he knows”. The “he's got in his stomach” is just a metaphor and you’ll soon see why I kept it.

And hopefully, you haven’t forgotten, but the “spearhead” is from the term “heroes' spearhead”, which is what Barfuru was when he was still human. They’re a bunch who do the dirty work so that the heroes can gain glory.

Now that he’s settled his worries, Souya is finally going to face Khius! What does Souya have up his sleeve and what has wheat flour got to do with anything? How will the confrontation pan out? Stay tuned!