Chapter 60 – Hope

Uncensored NSFW Chapters 30, 33, and 34 are temporarily available for every reader! (Redirection to subscribestar)

The censored gallery was updated with Lorely's pictures in chapter 63 even though it isn’t publicly released yet.

I will take a break for a little while (I’ll keep you updated through profile posts).

Merry Christmas!

Griscent and Violet had a telepathic discussion about Slade’s internal conflicts.

They found an answer that could help him not to go full Unga Bunga when having sex.

"Ugggh…" Violet suddenly sat upright.

She rubbed her eyes and wiped her drool, accidentally smearing a thick, white liquid all over her face.

The gnolls lounged on the rug, grooming their sweaty fur.

Violet was back in the gnoll’s bedroom after having a short telepathic exchange with Griscent.

Slade and Lorely attended her from both sides. They wrapped her in a blanket.

"Are you okay, Violet? You fainted on me."

"We should go to sleep."

Violet had to talk before she forgot what Griscent said. Taking a deep breath, she gathered her courage to open her heart.

"Slade, Lorely… What do you think about my drinking habits? Isn’t it unsightly?"

"Uh… I think nothing about it."

"Don’t worry, mistress. I got used to it."

"Between the drunkard Violet and the Violet who got her act together, who would you prefer?"

"If I have to be honest… Probably the Violet who got her act together. But I don’t dislike you! I can understand why you need it."

"Please bring my cute little mistress back!" Lorely bawled while teasing her.

"Right. My world has always revolved around magic, but it went downhill from the moment I was born. If I can no longer cast spells, what should I do about the unbearable gash left by my shattered dreams?"

Slade nodded. He could ‘overlook’ her behavior, as long as drinking didn’t become her entire world as a replacement for magic. Once he could not ‘overlook’, he would try to support her to ‘move on’, instead of ‘accepting’ her as she was. But if she rejected his views, would he abandon her?

He wanted to run away from those thoughts, and his uncomfortable expression made it obvious.

Violet chuckled. "But let’s be honest, someone who’s completely stuck in empty pleasure isn’t that attractive. This taste is embedded in our instincts and grounded on logical reasons. Remember when you had to choose between Griscent’s comfort and moving forward? You know that unchecked pleasure leads to a dead end. So, there’s no need to feel ashamed of our own nature. I prefer the ‘Violet’ who’s got it together too…"

The harshness in Slade’s mind was exposed.

Lorely got confused, unable to follow the discussion. Griscent’s comfort, what?

"But Slade, you’ve grown too scared of our natural need for comfort. You’re only looking at the negatives, so you won’t allow your heart to satisfy its needs. You lose control when it’s time to let it out. If instincts guide for survival, are we born wrong for craving comfort?"

"But… What can I do? I almost gave in to Griscent’s proposal. Horrible things could have happened to you."

"Learning to accept our need for comfort is part of our growth as humans. It starts as soon as we’re born. Let’s take my friend’s baby as an example. The child ended up in my arm, and upon seeing my face, he broke into mad fits of crying. But once her mother gave him her breast, he would always calm down without fail."

"Haha, that poor kid! Nightmares of stinky, ugly, baby-eating witches plagued his childhood. It didn’t help that you became his tutor."

Self deprecating, Slade chuckled at the analogy. "I’m no better than a baby."

Violet hugged Slade.

“Let’s consider babies without any judgement or disrespect. They reveal our original self, a pristine state untainted by the emotional baggage of adulthood. The principle of pleasure and pain guide our survival from our birth. If seeking pleasure was a flaw, then our existence would be a mistake from the start.”

“But chasing after pleasure isn’t reliable for survival at all! Humans can self-destruct from intemperance!”

"That is why we, babies, eventually grow up. New layers of rationality pile up on top of our original self to account for the complexity of the world. Even as adults, this original self remains as we seek comfort throughout life. Motivation is built upon the insolvable gap between desire and reality. No matter how much effort or blood is shed, the greed of the Living pushes us further away from the status quo. At times, we need to numb ourselves from that unquenchable thirst, so we let the blissful pleasure content our desires."

Slade’s primal instinct could not be deleted, no matter how much his rationality rejected it. His only solution was to update his conscious mind to integrate them together.

Griscent hovered closer.

"(Thirst isn’t the only pain we have to struggle with. Instead of wielding our natural strength, we often bend our minds into strenuous molds to fulfill obligations. It is as cruel and wasteful as sentencing swords to fulfill the fate of shovels. While forging ourselves into balanced beings is a welcome endeavor, warping ourselves to fit the door of fate can break us.)"

The witches chimed in, not understanding the beholder’s words. "Nothing beats a smoke after a long ritual."

"In certain circumstances, we need to numb ourselves from pain. Pleasure helps the passing of time. Sometimes it worsens the problem and sometimes it eases it. Time heals injury or lets it fester until the body rots. Speaking of which, my mana center feels painful. Come and help!" She struck her thighs, inviting Slade to satisfy her carnal desires.

"I understand the need for pleasure but… It doesn’t tell me how to control myself."

Violet and Griscent exchanged a look.

"Pursue a goal, have faith in tomorrow, and nurture hope with freedom. Then, you’ll be too busy to worry about pleasure."

"A goal… Okay. Faith in tomorrow? Fine, I can’t predict the future. But Hope? What hope? Is it different from the goal?"

"(The hope that you’ll find your fate… a path that shall carry you beyond the darkest valley of pleasure. No matter where it leads you, it will grant the strength to withstand suffering. The door of destiny shall not open to an imitation, despite all the efforts to warp oneself to fit its keyhole. When you reveal your true self, so too shall your destiny.)"

"Fate? Where do I find this cool destiny you’re talking about? Does it actually exist?"

"(You find it as you pursue goals. Didn’t you tell me that ‘realizing that we pursue wrong goals is a normal occurrence for growth?’ As we act, we learn more about ourselves. Using this knowledge, we can move closer to our happiness. That is how Violet summoned you, and how I met you.)"

The slime remembered. He offered Griscent his support to find a new meaning for her life. He didn’t imagine that the process itself was enough to overcome the thirst for pleasure.

In his past life, he numbed himself to go with the flow, complying with the destiny that others had designed. He never dared to tread on his own path. For him, it was the least expected place to get happiness.

"Hope grounds our faith in tomorrow. The ever repeating pain that motivates the Living becomes tolerable. Finally, the road itself rewards the steps of the attentive traveler."

Violet squeezed Slade against her chest. Following her heart, she ventured into the most obscure and grim paths. It blessed her back with Slade and Holloweye.

Metiva nodded in approval, enjoying her speech. The young gnoll daughter shrugged, skeptical. Older witches blinked as they had never questioned their place in life.

Slade’s round eyes stared at the warlock, blinded by the glimpse of hope that Violet and Griscent shaped together. His heart and mind mended back together. He felt at ease, knowing that he would no longer need to repress his heart.

"Do you have a goal, Slade?"

"My goal… I want to see our dungeon prosper. A home for my family..."

"Awww!" Metiva held her chest when Slade glanced her way.

"Then you no longer have to worry about losing yourself in a dead end. Tonight, I will accept all your desires, all your being in its entirety. I will always be here for you. In return, you will always be close to support me."

Slade melted in her arms from her warmth, as if cradled by a goddess. He was in an oasis of love, where he was allowed to open his heart.

Unlike Griscent, he had no fear of the waking up to a harsh reality, because he had faith. Happiness would return, no matter which form it took, as long as he believed in tomorrow.

"I won’t go crazy this time. I’ll do my utmost to please you! So… What do you want?"

He asked innocently.

The women exchanged worried looks.

"W-what I want? Well…"

"Was it strange to ask?"

Lorely nodded.

"I’ll teach you if you promise to not make fun of me…"