Chapter 405 - 3

Bom pulled the trigger.

When the ballista enveloped in light left her hand with a violent twitch of the overflowing mana,

Because he had been carrying in his heart  the words of his dead friend who said he would definitely become happy; because he wasn’t expecting something like this to happen in the slightest;

And because that was his belief,

He was immensely shocked as if he was shot in his head.

The arrowhead flew forward as time lengthened like cheese.

The tears falling down her cheeks scattered from the oppressive mana and her lips that were still forming a smile quivered faintly. After a little bit of time, he saw the source of that mana coming into contact with a regular pulse.

He supported Bom’s body from crumbling down – her body hung loose.

Her black gaze lost its light.

And his world stopped moving.

*

Ever since he became concerned about the fact that his past might be discovered, and when his emotions began falling without the bottom in sight, Yu Jitae often came across a dark sticky monster crawling at the bottom of his heart.

Whenever he was back in his right mind, he was unable to find that thing and he didn’t even know how he saw that in the first place.

But when he embraced Bom’s unmoving corpse, he saw something like an illusion of his inner world once again.

That ‘guy’ was there – there was a monster that was black and gooey, who had a disgusting and poisonous odour. Its liquid body ripped open at the centre as the entangled teeth of a human showed itself.

That was its mouth.

〚Did you think it would be that easy to become happy?〛

It said to him.

〚You were lying until the very end. And you never repented for the sins you have committed.〛

He started crumbling from sorrow. Never had he wished for a conclusion like this.

〚Were you thinking it would disappear if no-one knew about it? That’s why all you had to do was act. Act like nothing happened, as if it was your first time meeting them.〛

He couldn’t even find any words to say in response while the black thing continued stabbing his heart with its sharp tongue.

〚Am I wrong?〛

〚Acting like a father, like a guardian, like a teacher and like a lover. Wearing several masks like that, you pretended like you were treasuring the baby dragons and as if you were wishing for the best of them. Do that and they will be relatively happy on their way back without dying – that was what you were thinking, right? That’s amazing. Because you did succeed.〛

〚But you should have ended it there then.〛

The unclean voice of the guy disgustingly echoed with noise. Its squirming body gradually became bigger as another crack appeared at a different part of the now bigger body. A new mouth opened itself.

〚If you wanted to die, then you should have.〛

Another mouth appeared next to that same mouth and spoke to him.

〚How could you dare want to live? How can you hope for a bond with those oblivious children? Even though you are still deceiving them?〛

The body explosively amplified its size alongside a similar increase in the blabbering mouths.

〚Or are you saying it’s fine because they don’t know it?〛

〚So you imprisoning countless ‘Yeorums’ disappears into the horizon right?〛

〚You experimenting with an unborn child becomes nonexistent, yes?〛

From two to dozens.

〚Then piercing your sword into a screaming throat because it was noisy and breaking the vocal cords would also disappear right?〛

〚And how you used a saw to slice apart the skin for a heart experiment?〛

〚What about all the time you struck the unbreaking bone with a hammer and a chisel?〛

Again, from dozens to hundreds.

It now felt as big as a wide room as it covered the entire area from one end to the other end of his vision. That entire room was filled with those disgusting mouths.

〚They all become non-existent. Right? Nothing like that happened in the first place.〛

〚Because no-one knows about it! All the children that might remember it were all gone because of your regression!〛

〚And you have something to say if someone reprimands you, don’t you? No-one in the world knows about it so what? Yeah? No-one can say anything to me as long as I keep my mouth shut!〛

〚The last one who had been keeping that a secret died just then! So you’ll be able to become happy now, won’t you?〛

〚It’s a perfect crime right?〛

〚Rightt? Nnnn?〛

〚Of course that’s right!〛

Thousands of words violently raged at him like a storm. Like an erupting volcano, it poured out hatred that tried to bury him like a flood. The world that was filled with rebukes and noises of condemnation suddenly turned quiet as all the mouths stopped moving.

〚Oh noo. How unfortunate though.〛

The first mouth softly whispered.

〚I know what you did.〛

*

It suddenly felt like he was buried in a quagmire. His world was soon covered with something murky that was filled up to the brim like the ocean, swaying him with each wave.

He was floating adrift on a cruise ship.

The waves of the quagmire were so tall, the ship rocked up and down immensely as if it would sink anytime soon.

That was when the sea cracked open and revealed a long mouth.

〚Do you get it now?〛

He used to think its name was ‘Guilt’. The monster whom he had built up over a long period of time, that he disregarded because no-one knew about it.

The goodness that used to exist in his heart in the distant past – back when he didn’t steal even when he was starving to death; back when he wanted to live a dignified life despite not having anything – had become a monster like this during all that time. That was what he was thinking.

〚We have no right to be fully happy.〛

It was buried in the dirty quagmire and he couldn’t see exactly what it was when he was turning away from it, but now he could see it clearly.

Underneath the dark veil inside the ripped mouth was the figure of a person. A ‘young Yu Jitae’ was staring at him.

〚So, why don’t we put everything down now.〛

‘Guilt’ started persuading him.

〚You’ve worked hard enough already. This is far more than enough.〛

〚You were always thinking what the best method was right? This is the best we have now. Just make a compromise and focus on what we have.〛

The persuasion was very calm, as if it was consoling a sickly and exhausted patient suffering from leprosy–

〚All you have to do is discard Yu Bom.〛

It was telling him to carve out the rotten skin.

He lowered his head to the deck of the ship. As the dark waves of the quagmire rose up like a tidal wave, a boy walked out from within and laid his hands on top of the head of his despairing self.

〚Let’s just get rid of one.〛

〚Get rid of Yu Bom, and live happily with the three kids.〛

〚Just a small compromise and you can become happy. And you can look at your favourite kids all you want.〛

〚If you need to, you can just deceive them. The three of them have no idea anyway right? How easy and convenient would that be?〛

Yu Jitae was completely crushed. He could not bear the flood of sorrow.

The complete form of happiness that he had been dreaming of needed to have Bom inside. However, Bom cursed yet loved him and killed herself, leaving him with not even a sliver of hope.

Yu Jitae’s dream,

Had now completely failed.

〚So, let’s stop here. We’ve done enough.〛

Let’s stop. Stop…

Its voice echoed across. The dark sea of quagmire that had been storming until just then was now tranquil.

The subtle silence was pressing him for his choice.

It was a life that had been wrongly entangled from the start.

Unfortunate memories resurfaced in his mind – a life where everything he had wished for were broken time after time.

No matter what he did and who he met, everything returned to nothing and he had to spend a long time with nothing left behind in his grasp.

After standing at the tip of that point several times, and crumbling several times, his life had continued all the way here.

“…”

It appeared that the play of despair and hardships was now coming to an end. There was no curtain call – the stage was blacked out with everyone hoping for my despair, and as the only one under the spotlight I was on my knees again.

Would you watch this and say it is a complete story? Would you be standing up from your seats clapping at my despair?

Amidst the silence, Yu Jitae lifted his head and looked at the boy tearing up while staring at him with a melancholic gaze.

〚It’s over.〛

And lowered his head again.

He was stuck in a quagmire.

Sorrow encroached his heart as lethargy suppressed his entire body.

It was finally over with this….

[You will. Definitely. Become happy.]

“No.”

He raised his head.

〚…Huh?〛

Immediately after that,

He lifted his arm, grabbed the boy by his neck and raised his other arm. His muscles twitched as his steel fist went flying in.

Slamm—!

The boy’s head was shattered as pieces of flesh and blood scattered to the surroundings. Before long, those fragments gathered back together in the air to reappear in front of him. 

There was a frown on the boy’s face.

Yu Jitae noticed what the thing in front of his eyes was. This was not [Guilt].

“Who are you to judge my life.”

He muttered with a powerless voice.

The guy was once again coaxing him into a deceitful life. The deceit that had been pushing him to destruction was once again inciting him using ‘compromise’ as the excuse.

A monster who endlessly tried to put a limit to his capability, that wished to fill his heart with hypocrisy.

How could something like that be Guilt?

The guy sneered.

〚Unlucky.〛

The boy was none other than ‘Sin’ itself.

“I get it now…”

Yu Jitae realised what the one and only way out of this situation was.

Running into the boy, he grabbed onto the boy’s body and immediately smashed him into the deck. ‘Kuhuk!’ Suddenly the sky started roaring with thunder as the tranquil ocean began violently raging again, trying to capsize the ship. The sky which had been bright for a little bit was tainted by darkness again as black rain of poison poured down at him.

〚Kuhuk! L, let go!〛

It thundered as filth drenched his body but Yu Jitae did not let go of his grip.

He found one way out.

When he was wailing with Bom’s corpse in hand, all the obelisks of emotion had been lit up. After gathering his mind back to one piece from the corrosion of sin, he at last discovered information about that from the darkness. 

<You may use [Restrictive Transcendent Authority].>

<The Restrictive Transcendent Authority will answer your will. For a single time, you can raise the level of an authority to a transcendent level and use it.>

<In addition, you will be granted the [Right] to edit current Providence from the core.>

The right to modify Providence.

Mana was the manifestation of will – Yu Jitae’s wish to reject reality had been answered.

Yu Jitae pressed onto the guy’s neck, and at the same time, floated the name of the authority he wanted to use in his head. That was when Sin, after realising what Yu Jitae was trying to do, shrieked at him.

〚Stop! You stupid fool! That will kill you for sure!〛

〚Why can you not make a compromise! Why are you standing up for that sinful child who tried to deceive you!〛

He thought to himself.

Sin’s words were not wrong.

Maybe coming to a compromise could be the best option. Give up, and let go: he simply had to make a compromise like what it said. Treating Bom as a traitor and protesting that I too was a victim – how easy would that be? Even though the result would be a limited happiness, he could choose to continue the relationship by camouflaging it with falsehood.

But that was wrong.

It was because he had been turning away from the truth like that until now, that he was regretting it at this point. The broken past was not the most important thing. Atoning for his sin must begin from his own choice and he had to be one saving himself.

That is why I will not give up – the moment he gave up, this aspiration of his would also become fake.

I will not let go. I will not make a compromise – the moment he came to a compromise, his feelings would be rendered fake.

Bom told him that everything had begun from deceit, but he knew that their bond was composed of truth despite having started from falsehood.

Him wanting to live together with the baby dragons was the truth, and Bom giving up on revenge was another fact. There was no falsehood or deceit left behind there.

〚You will regret it!〛

Although his thousand-year-long dream of ‘death’ had crumbled and he at last began dreaming of ‘life’, his aspiration for life was one that stemmed from his daily life with the baby dragons. Within that daily life had to be Gyeoul, Kaeul and Yeorum,

And there definitely had to be Bom as well.

〚You will definitely die–!!〛

No. I still believe it.

[You will. Definitely. Become happy.]

I will become happy.

Yu Jitae clenched his grip even more and pressed even harder onto Sin to kill it while shouting at the damned audience in his heart.

This play is not over yet.

Because I, wish for happiness.

.

.

.

In that instant, the obelisks of emotion responded to his call.

The authority activated itself.

[Conceptualisation (EX)]

– Target: [Sin]

The boy under Yu Jitae’s grip turned once again to something dark. Then, it was analysed in full detail by his authority.

Yu Jitae’s world turned upside down.