Nostalgia

Milena hadn't even bothered to change her outfit. She was still wearing that green dress with the embroideries, the same hairstyle and jewelry she had picked that morning. She hadn't felt like making an extra effort for that lunch with Prince Ellias. Somehow, her stubborn self didn't want to make him feel like she had gotten pretty for him. Not this time. 

She had only allowed Prudence to go and fetch a new set of gloves for her, as the previous one had been torn and sullied by the rose she had picked. That rose was now in a vase by her window, in her bedroom. She only had one night left in that bedroom, but she would at least get to enjoy seeing that rose a bit longer tonight...

Ellias hadn't specified any hour for their lunch meeting, so she had decided to go earlier after having discussed a bit with the girls. Bella and the De Iris sisters had done their best to change subjects and try to lighten her mood up, but Milena just didn't felt like chit-chatting. She was mad at Prince Rayan, and upset at Prince Ellias' sudden invitation too. She didn't like to be flustered like so, and just hoped to get this over with. Had he learned nothing from their previous discussion? She had made herself quite clear, Milena had enough of being swayed left and right for their political intents!

The Royal Library was quiet when she walked in. Not only because it was a library, but it was emptier than usual, as a day off for most of the bureaucrats...

A wave of nostalgia overwhelmed Milena as she ventured between the long lines of books. The smell of an old book was one of those she liked the most. Her fingers started gently stroking the leather covers as she slowly walked by. She could tell at a glance which books she had already read. She had spent so much time in this library as a child. Books were one of the things she liked the most, as it gave her a quiet environment and a safe place to escape to. A glimpse of other worlds, of more knowledge she was dying to learn about, and trivial things that just kept her avid to read more. The young Milena was begging for ways to distract herself, yet adapt to the new world she was brought back to.

"It feels nostalgic, doesn't it?" said a voice behind her.

Milena stopped, but didn't turn around. Her fingers had stopped on the cover of a blue book, with golden letters. She tilted her head to read the title. It wasn't one she knew.

"It does..." She answered.

As they were alone, neither Ellias nor Milena bothered with the usual protocols.

"Why did you ask me for lunch today, Your Highness? You've been careful about not showcasing our relationship until now, yet this maid ran to me earlier."

"I owe you a proper apology, Milena."

She frowned a little. She wasn't sure what direction this conversation was going to take. Milena was already upset about the earlier episode with Aurora, and she didn't part with Ellias on good terms either the last time they had seen each other. She was somewhat glad to have chosen a dull dress today, and not put any extra effort in her appearance.

"I'm listening," she said, as he was apparently waiting for her response. "Although, I am pretty sure your last attempt at an apology was rather disappointing."

"You're right, and I'm absolutely sorry about that. I didn't do things the right way. Milena, I am sorry I have hurt you and made you feel like our relationship could be summed up to politics, or that I was using you. I just want to genuinely apologize today, and enjoy a meal like we used to. No talking about politics, I promise."

Milena hesitated. What was his plan, why all that nostalgic scenery? She sighed and turned around to finally face him. He was wearing his usual uniform, looking as handsome as ever. Was it because they were growing older? Or because she was learning to know them better? She could now see the differences between the two princes. Ellias' nose was a bit thinner. Rayan's jaw was a bit more angular.

"Fine. Let's have lunch, then..."

She grabbed a book, the blue one she had spotted earlier, and followed him. Ellias already had a smile on. He must have been worried that she was going to reject him.

To Milena's surprise, there was a full meal prepared in the middle of the library. Had he deliberately sent everyone out of this section to enjoy this private date with her? Was that even a date? Milena hadn't come out of the aisle of the Royal Castle where the candidates had been confined for days now, and she felt a bit odd sitting there. It seemed like Ellias had somehow found a way for her to get permission to leave the candidates' area... How come? It was unthinkable that his mother wouldn't know of this, so how had he managed to convince the Queen to let him take Milena away for this lunch? Or had he succeeded in hiding all this to his mother?

"You'll excuse the poor choice, I send the Chef a last-minute notice," said Ellias while sitting down.

Indeed, there were only a few different choices of snacks, finger foods, little sandwiches, and some croquembouche and macaroons displayed there. Milena frowned a little. It did seem unlike the Royal Castle's usual cuisine, more like as if someone had raided the kitchen and grabbed some party leftovers. Not that she minded much, though. Milena had a particularly picky appetite, but she could spot here and there some things she'd definitely enjoy. There was no blood, though.

"Is this okay for you?" Asked Ellias with a little frown.

"It's alright."

Milena sat with her book on her lap, grabbing one of the tiny sandwiches to bite in. Ellias smiled, seeing her eat, and started eating too. For a while, there was no sound in the library but the two of them eating quietly. That was a strange silence, somewhere between awkward and peaceful, Milena couldn't decide.

"I wonder how many hours we spent in the library together?" Said Ellias. "You came a few times, supposedly to wait for your brother to be done with his work, but you came so early that you'd spend hours here reading."

"You too," replied Milena. "You always begged your teachers to give you more reading so you could come to hide here away from their strict teaching. Or you'd skip on your classes, ditch your bodyguards and sneak in here..."

Ellias chuckled nervously.

"Ah, that's true... I did give Sir Bryce a hard time..."

Milena couldn't help but smile faintly. At that time, both Princes were actually more similar... Rayan was infamous for ignoring his teachers and skipping classes, too. Their mother was also known for getting angry at their unruly behaviors quite often as well. What had changed in those years within the Royal Castle? Ellias had managed to fit into the mold made for him, becoming the perfect Prince Charming, while Rayan had drifted away from it, using more under-handed methods and keeping people away. The constant rivalry between the brothers, with both the vampire and human factions watching them constantly, had probably dug the void between them.

"Do you remember the first book we chatted about? You had taken the second volume before finishing the first..."

Milena nodded, and they started chatting about their fond memories together. For a little while, she gave in to the nostalgia of happier days. When she didn't have to worry about pleasing a bitter Queen or finding the real thoughts of her potential future husband. After a while, Ellias ended a laugh with a long sigh.

"Ah... I miss those days. I don't know in how long I haven't seated to read a book."

"...Me neither," confessed Milena, gently stroking the cover of the book she had taken.

"...I'm missing those days, but I think it's going to be worse once we get this Ceremony over with."

Milena's fingers stopped. So they were finally getting to it. She remained silent, waiting for Ellias to talk, as she knew there has to be a reason for all of this.

"I know things are only going to get harder from now on," he said. "With everything going on, we just have so many matters to deal with, this whole Bridal Selection actually feels superficial. I am not sure what my mother was thinking. I am genuinely sorry you had to go through it, Milena. You already have so much on your plate... your glass business, the research about the Wendigo, and the De Crescent's House, too. When the war comes, they will probably need you more than ever. I am always so admiring of how strong and smart you are as a woman. You were right, last time. You don't need a husband to support you."

Milena remained silent and her eyes riveted on her book, but she raised an eyebrow. Could he have possibly learned from her words, finally? Or was there something else? She felt like his wording was leading elsewhere. Ellias shook his head, looking down at his hands on his knees.

"I'm... probably not worthy of you, Milena. It is true, I am ambitious and dived deep into all the politics. I think all of this is not... something you deserve. You should be able to live happily, without constantly being in danger, which is going to be the reality for the princesses named tomorrow. You're most likely already worrying about your family a lot, and yet we are trying to put all the pressure of the Royal Family on you, on top of that. You shouldn't just be a token for Rayan and me to fight over, you should aim higher. You can make your own mark. I mean, Rachael is, like you said, not in need of any crown."

Milena was starting to get where he was going, and she did not like it much. However, she decided to stay calm. She was beyond that now, and it felt like a desperate attempt from Ellias more than anything else. She had no idea how much of his concern for her was genuine, and she didn't want to get a headache thinking about it.

"I just wanted to extend my concerns to you, Milena. I think you should know you have all your right to make the choice that is best for you, for your family. My brother and I are just bound to get into all that mess because we were born in the Royal Family, but you..."

"Your Highness, are you suggesting I give up myself on the competition?"

Ellias looked a bit taken aback, but when he raised his eyes, Milena was perfectly composed. She didn't seem mad, shocked or sad. The young Duchess was doing a great job of hiding her emotions, except maybe for the fact that she had used his title instead of his name or nickname. 

The young prince seemed to hesitate for a few minutes, then he sighed and shook his head.

"I don't know if I want you to. I'm just saying... I want you to know you have other options, you don't necessarily have to bind yourself to the Royal Family, Milena. It's going to be hard, very hard for anyone who takes the seat. Like you had my idiot self realize yesterday, you don't need all that. You can't be content being only the young Duchess de Crescent, and no one would blame you for that. It is your decision, of course, but I thought I should..."

"That you should remind me?" Said Milena.

Ellias nodded. 

Despite her gentle voice, Milena didn't felt that good at all. Actually, she felt like laughing or getting mad, but she was just torn internally between the two and didn't drop her mask. She sighed, and suddenly stood up.

"I understand your concerns. I will most certainly think about it. It's true that maybe I shouldn't... give myself too much headache about all of that. After all, as you said, I don't need a crown, do I?" She said with a smile.

Ellias responded with a nervous chuckle. Despite Milena's words, he had that strange feeling that the Duchess' words held some untold feelings into it. If she was smiling, why did her expression feel so cold? He tried to get rid of those unsettling feelings and stood up too.

"Yeah, but... sorry, are you leaving?"

"My apologies, I forgot that I promised my friends to be back for tea with them. I didn't think our little lunch would last so long. You don't mind?"

"Oh, no... Of course," said Ellias with a wide smile. "You should enjoy your time with your friends!"

They both knew how ironic that sentence was, considering how Milena had already spent almost a week locked up with them.

"Oh, here, you could actually pack up some of those desserts for your tea time, you didn't have any yet.

"Thank you, Your Highness. Have a great afternoon."

Milena bowed politely, holding her book and the sweets wrapped up by one of the maids. She walked away, standing very straight until her feet got past the door of the library. Then, she paused for a while, staring at the window on her left, the snow falling heavily now. Milena started walking again and remained completely silent until she was escorted back into the Bridal Candidates' aisle, and the two guards closed the door behind her.

Then, she took a deep breath and violently smashed the desserts on the carpet at her feet. The two men behind her actually jumped, surprised. She stepped on the little mess, crunching it with her feet under the two men's stunned eyes. They exchanged a glance, unsure of what to do. 

When a young maid appeared at the end of that corridor, Milena's eyes locked on her, and the young woman hurried over.

"Clean this," coldly said the Dhampir Duchess.

"Yes, my Lady..."

The two guards strictly kept their tongues behind their teeth, watching Milena walk away, some sugar still on her shoe. That young lady was rather terrifying...

Milena found the first salon she could, walked in, and told all the maids present to leave her alone. As soon as they had all scattered out, she closed the door behind her, putting her back against it with a furious expression. Blanche jumped out of her pocket.

"Now you've done it, Ellias..." Hissed Milena. "He wants me to drop out of the Competition, how laughable is that! He's just desperate. He'd rather have me out than risk me marrying Rayan... No wonder his mother authorized my outing."

"What about ugly Prince?" Asked Blanche, laying on her stomach on one of the sofas.

Milena sighed, and went to sit facing her, putting her book on her left with a sigh and crossed her arms.

"Was it him, with Aurora?" She asked.

"Same smell as sneaky prince," confirmed Blanche with a frown.

"Damn it..."

Milena was starting to worry. Was Rayan capable of changing his mind right before the competition? She wouldn't have gotten so made at Aurora before if it wasn't for her jealousy, but Milena was furious. She didn't want to have to face rumors even before being betrothed. What if people talked? There were bound to be people unhappy about the choices of the Princes! People were going to wonder if it was a choice of the heart, of a political one. Milena would rather be both, but she'd rather kill her rival herself than let her future husband take a mistress. She'd never, ever allow to be dishonored in such a way, never. Her pride was way too high for that. If Rayan was seeing Aurora behind her back, she'd rather settle that issue shortly. There was no trace of a bite on the young Countess' neck, which had made her feel somewhat better, but she knew how good the sneak prince was at hiding his wrongdoings. What the hell was he doing with Aurora...?

Was it worth confronting him before the Bridal Selection? Milena frowned, unhappy. That idiot was probably even sleeping while she was so mad at him!

"...Millie unhappy?"

"Sometimes I wish you could really bite butts, Blanche."

"Blanche can do snake."

"No, forget it... Only that stupid dinner to go anyway. Then, one night's sleep if I can catch any, and we are done with all of this mess."

"Millie okay?"

Milena nodded, and Blanche jumped to come and curl up on her lap, shape-shifting into her cat form. She spent a few minutes caressing her fur and listening to Blanche's purring. Only a few hours to go. Milena's eyes fell on the book she had taken out of the Royal Library, and her lips curled up. 

She might as well spend those last hours thinking about something else and actually relaxing. Maybe it would be her last time being able to enjoy a good book in peace, after all.