Interlude 7 - Philip

My Dearest Older Sister,

How it warms my heart to think you're finally finding some peace of mind, and that strength I know you've been longing for yourself. Is it impudent of your younger brother to be so proud of you? By God's Grace, I am so glad you finally find yourself blooming, and finding the courage to stand alone, bravely. Please do not be sorry for me, as it would only help in making us both more miserable. Do not believe your younger brother ever doubted you. It takes more than a kind heart and a good nature to withstand all they have pushed you through with me. I know the hardships you have endured under your mother's cold and strict education, the anger you always feared in our Father's eyes. Although that man seldom lost control of himself, who knows what kind of fear grew in your heart as you could feel the harsh critique in his eyes. In my eyes, your Lady of the House De Winter was the cruelest woman of all. I'll respect your love for your mother and hold back on my words here, my dear sister, but it won't take away from me the belief that she was much more insidious and cunning, and she silently instilled much of her poison into our heads and hearts with those icy words and attitudes she'd take. However, please do not antagonize Arseus too much yet. I am glad the blind was lifted off your eyes in regards to his cunning ways, but you will have nothing good coming out of a feud with him. Instead, let him sulk and get pissed at his bastard brother sent to the battlefield, where he cannot get to me. You know I will gladly take any wound for your sake, even the vile and vain hatred of our family members.

Fear not, my beloved sister, for you have an ally far from the Capital. I promise I will do my very best to make you cry tears of joy and pride upon my return, and gain so much honor on the battlefield that I won't have to bend my head anymore.

Perhaps the first calls of battle have ignited some fire in my lungs, but I do feel braver than before, my beloved older sister. I need not describe to you the first sights of a battle we got in today, nor the sight of those two giants we defeated, a pair of their sentinels we encountered almost by mistake. I know only the news of victory will warm up your heart, but I won't lie by saying it was an easy one, nor silence the casualties we suffered. Blood tainted the snow today, my dear older sister, and we had to bury five brave souls at dawn. 

Although it was what I have to call my first battle in this war, I did not get much more than sight of the action. The Commander of the First Battalion was the one to spot them, and thus, his men and those of the Second Battalion enjoyed the prime of the battle before we could even get there. Most of the audience had to satisfy themselves with the sounds we could hold from afar, many ranks of soldiers back. The trees and men in front cut most of our vision, so we ought to wait until the whole ordeal was over to see its results... I have to admit, giants are quite a unique sight. I'll keep you from the gruesome description of their bodies as I'm afraid I'd make you and your baby sick, but I do believe we defeated young ones, by the sight of their size. The ones we saw from afar were much taller, it seemed. How strange it is that all nature around us seems so stubborn to try and defer our vision. Everything seemed so much closer and bigger from the towers of the Castle, yet now, we are the ones feeling small among the majestic trees, and mountains so high they greet the sky.

I wish I could sketch this sight properly and send it for you to see, as you've always loved my foolish doodles. Instead, I spent time imagining how beautiful you must have been on your Coronation Day, which must be long over when you'll read those lines. 

I am most heartbroken that I couldn't see you then, my dear older sister. How beautiful must you have been on that day, with a majestic gown, your preciously handcrafted crown above your blonde halo, and the joy in your eyes to stand by the King's side. Perhaps already the sight of a shy bump underneath it all... I can almost hear the echoes of the ecstatic crowd, so pleased to greet their new Queen. This must have surely put some joy in our good people's hearts. I know the news of your pregnancy made the headlines of all the Kingdom's Newspapers, and I cut a copy to keep for myself. I want to show my niece or nephew how their uncle preciously and stubbornly held on to that piece of paper during the war, in many, many years.

I hope I am not making my tear-prone sister too emotional, but it's true you're the main source of pride and happiness for me, and I will not shy away from it. I wish I could write to you each day, if it would make you cry and smile for a moment, and forget your troubles. 

I am happy to read that you are slowly getting closer to Princess De Crescent. I have a hard time figuring out her character, but I do hope her strength will become yours a bit. I have a lot of respect for her husband, so I am inclined to believe all of your admiration for the Princess isn't completely baseless either. I hope she will be kind to you, and perhaps, more and more of a friend as I have known you've always dreamed of. I am so surprised she even lent you those books, I am so glad she is letting some of the ice walls around her heart melt close to your endless warmth. I remember how defeated you had felt after some of your attempts to befriend her had fell flat before, and I do believe it was the will of the De Winter Family that it goes on. You know better how my opinion is on some of those so-called friends they surrounded you with, and if I were to speak honestly, I cannot blame the Princess for antagonizing your character at times. You two feel like far-end opposites, but remember my dear older sister, even the cold and mighty moon appears during the day to greet the sun at times. 

Regardless of this shy but blooming friendship between you and your sister-in-law, I am happy that you're falling slowly and steadily in love with the most brilliant minds of our times, in the pages of a book or in the flesh. Studying can be a deep well for those who fall in love with words, or a shallow and muddy puddle for those unable to lose themselves to read deeper between those lines of passion. As I have lost myself many times in the convenient hideouts of our family library, I hope those leather-covered friends will become your friends too, and help our new, beloved Queen become greater of a mother to our Nation than she already is.

Of course, I feel more relieved by the news of the Saint staying a faithful companion to your side, more so than your husband. I feel anger rise at the idea that our King is forgetting his pregnant wife, but I do want to give him the benefit of the doubt as a busy monarch. Still, I can only support your friendship to the Saint; you and him are so similar on so many points, despite his crude manner of speech as you say, I think you can only earn good things from this new friend of yours. Unlike the masters he once served, I think he has grown into his own mind and, although willful at times, he will probably relish in having you as his master more than he did to his previous owners.

Thank you so much for the paper letters you sent me last time. They are great, and I have a hard time keeping myself from writing all night long to you. I shall be a good uncle and stop now for the sake of my beloved nephew or niece to come and their mother's need of sleep. Please, I need nothing but to be reassured of your good health and that of our yet-to-come family member.

Please remember me in your prayers, my dearest older sister,  just like I shall whisper your name in mine.

With all my heart,

Your Little Brother, Philip.