Volume 3 - CH 1
This might be a bit sudden, but have you ever seen a romcom? It can be in an anime, a drama, or a novel even. In my case, the first time I read a romcom was a shoujo manga I borrowed from my little sister. Of course, itâs not that I willingly read her manga or anything. Instead, when I was a brat, I could never go against my little sister.
Despite being brother and sister, despite being related by blood, there was a rift between us as deep as the Mariana trench. My classmates always voice their doubt about us even being siblings in the first place, but thatâs probably because they donât know much about her.
Well, deep down, sheâs a good girl, and I guess that she just watched too many midnight anime or read too much sibling stuff. After all, despite being a young girl, she loved shounen manga, and whenever she barged into my room, she would borrow all sorts of manga from me, saying âWhatâs Onii-chanâs is mine as well!ââŠNo, she pretty much stole it.
Naturally, that being repeated over and over, it would warrant for a rebellion or a coup dâĂ©tat, but the me back then didnât have the strength for that. Any half-baked resistance would be crushed. That is the iron rule of our Sakamachi Family. The weak devour the strong. My family environment pretty much was still stuck in the Jura age, creating cruel circumstances for me, who was weak.
Thatâs why, the best I could do was sneak into my little sisterâs room like some rat, and steal the shoujo manga she had. Thinking about it now, I totally did it out of spite. Of course, my tyrant little sister immediately caught on to that, and brought down death penalty as my punishment. Sadly, this is the status in my family. Put frankly, Iâm an endangered species about to go instinct. Iâm like a lake ball trying to survive in Lake Akan.
This being the case, the first romcom I read was a shoujo manga I stole from my little sister. And, it was quite the orthodox romcom, with the girl bumping into the protagonist at a crossing with toast in her mouth, all of this within the first four pages. I still remember thinking âThis is popular nowadays?â.
But, letâs move on to the main topic. The reason Iâm talking about thisâis the fact that such an orthodox romcom development happened to me. The time of year was the end of June. That hellish Golden Week ended, and as the asphalt sizzled from the early-summer sunshineâonly a few days away until the important school festivalâthe entire school was living in excitement towards that upcoming summer break. This happened on a certain day.
Without any warning or preamble, I bumped into a girl on my way to school. Of course, this happened at a crossroad, and of course she had toast in her mouthânot to mention that she was actually pretty cute. Normally, one would be happy about this, right? This might just signal the beginning of a wonderful new love, or some nonsense that only happens in the world of 2D, but you could at least hope, right?
However, there was one giant problem about this. That girlâŠwasnât walking to school. She was using a motorbike, and ran me over on my way to school.
Ă
âKyaaaaa! Out of the waaaaay!â
Together with a loud shriek like that, my body soared through the sky. It was a traffic accident you could see everywhere. Not to mention that it involved a human body instead of another car.
As I was on my way to school, right at a crossroad in the living district, a rampaging motorbike sent my body flying.
âGobuha!?â I let out a groan resembling a frog being crushed, and rolled along the asphalt like a bowling pin.
I mean, I didnât act like a comedian during a live show on purpose. I just reflexively tried to soften the impact. After that, I raised my body, aching with pain.
âUrkâŠâ
Ahh, that hurt. I seriously thought I was going to die. I confirmed the damage inflicted on my body. Seems like I got off with some light grazes. I go through worse every single morning thanks to Kurehaâs practice. I really donât want to suffer any needless injuries. Also, why does the handicrafts club need to do morning practice?
Well, I guess Iâm pretty lucky to get away with these mild injuries after being run over. With these thoughts, I stood on both of my legs. What a sturdy body I have. I guess this is what I get for living through my hellish family environment. Thankfully I can get through this without another hospital visitâŠ
ââŠHuh?â
Just when I thought that something was off, I realized that I lost my glasses. Did they fly off because of that impact just now? Itâs not like my eyesight was exceptionally bad, but without a spare pair, itâd be pretty troublesome. I looked around in search of my glasses. There, I realized that this incident had become pretty big. I could see the bike flipped over in the corner of the crossroad, together with the toast, andâ
ââŠCrap.â
The second I saw that, I subconsciously let out a groan. In the middle of this crossing, with arms and legs wide open, laid a girl wearing a familiar uniform.
ââŠâŠâŠâ
This is bad. She looks like sheâs on her deathbedâŠ! With this hellish scene in front of me, I wanted to just walk away. Not to mention that her skirt got flipped up because of the accident, letting me see her slender yet plump thighsâŠThis is seriously bad.
ââŠUm, hello?â I tried my best to not look where I shouldnât be, and waited for a response.
However, as silence followed, I was getting close to giving up. That being said, I canât leave her alone either. Not like the scene is secured either.
ââŠAlright.â I carefully approached my ears to her face, trying to check if she was still breathing.
However, it was hard to tell. Hence, I instead moved on to check her pulse with my hand on her neck. Waah, so warm. When I touched her soft skin, I could feel her heart beating even up to my fingers. Thank god, sheâs still alive. I sighed in relief, but itâs not like I could keep touching that girl forever.
Otherwise, my gynophobia will activate. Thatâs right, this gynophobia of mine is another result of my twisted family environment. Touching or being touched by a girl could literally kill me. If I stay too close to a girl for too long, my nose will start bleeding.
ââŠHm?â I slapped my cheeks to get back to my senses, when I looked at the girl again, and realized.
SomehowâŠthis girl is hella cute, isnât she? She had styled her wavy hair in two long twintails. Adding to her lively impression through her hairstyle, she had faint crimson colored lips, with long eyelashes. She was about the average size of a girl her age, about in the middle of Suzutsuki and Konoe. Her physique lets me guess that sheâs the sporty type of girl. The same image was seen on her slender legs, covered by about knee-high long socks. MmâŠthe gap between the wild design and uniform is justâŠ
âMguhâŠâ
âWoah!?â
When a faint breath escaped the girlâs lips, I subconsciously jumped backwards. Right after, the girlâs eyes opened. She possessed lifted eyes, resembling a catâs. Just from looking at her, she seemed pretty strong. After blinking a few times, the girl raised her body.
âHmâŠIâŠouchâŠâ
âHey, you okay?â
From the looks of it, she wasnât injured in any way, but I was worried that she might have hit her head. After all, her helmet landed in the corner of the crossing as well.
âY-YeahâŠIâm fineâŠâ She spoke that far, only to suddenly end up silent.
âŠ? I wonder why sheâs looking so awkward while being silent. Maybe sheâs hurt after all? The silence continued for a few more seconds.
âOh noâŠthat person must have died for sureâŠâ
I was about to let out a shocked âWhat?â in the face of that reaction. She completely ignored me, and continued with a heavy tone in her voice.
âIâŠhit that personâŠWhat should I doâŠI need to call 110 right nowâŠâ
ââŠâŠâŠâ
Oh my goodness, that girl thinks she killed me in that accident. Well, at least sheâs properly worried about me. I guess despite her fierce outer appearance, sheâs kind where it counts.
âI need to create a cover-upâŠNeed to erase all the evidence before the cops come hereâŠâ
I take back what I said. This girl might have a cute face, but most definitely is pure evil. She thinks she hit some passersby. Maybe she really hit her head after all? Or sheâs panicking. Either way, you should probably call 119 over 110. But, I should probably clear up the misunderstanding before that.
âDonât think you need to worry about that.â
Hearing my words, the girl let out a confused âEh?â, and rubbed her eyes one more time. After confirming her surroundings, she looked at me again.
ââŠâŠ!?â Immediately after, she grew pale.
She showed a frozen expression like she just saw a ghost. Her mouth opened and closed like a koi fish waiting to be fed, and her facial color changed like a traffic light to deep blue. In the midst of all of that, she let out groans along the lines of âAhâŠah, ahâŠâ
âKyaaaaaaaaaaaa!â She let out a scream like she encountered an exhibitionist in the middle of the street.
Of course, we were still in the middle of the residential districtâŠâŠNot good. I might have just worsened the situation. What if she caused a panic here? The neighbours would think I tried to assault her, and arrest me.
âC-Calm down. Iâm not some ghost.â I called out to her in an attempt to clear up the misunderstanding.
As a result of that, the girl moved backwards to the wall of the street, letting out another shriek as she sank to the floor.
âNooooo donât come any closer! Monster! You monster!â
âHey! Why do you have to be so cruel about this!â
Why do I have to be called a monster by someone I only just met. Also, my Mom or little sister are even more of a monster than me, alright.
âHow? Why are you alive? I ran you over at full speedâŠâ
âSo you were aware of itâŠâ
âI was planning on stepping on the brakes, but mistook them for the gas pedal.â
âMakes sense why I couldnât hear the sounds of any brakes when you hit me!â
Was she actually planning on killing me from the very start? Did someone record this by any chance, so that I can use this as evidence in court? Then again, itâs crazy how I managed to get out of this with barely any injuries. Maybe training my body recently was the right decision after all. Ever since that incident during Golden Week, Iâve been regularly training with Kureha and Konoe in that underground arena.
Itâs been a while since I was training this much after Mom left, so I guess I was getting back a lot of endurance. Of course, I still always lose against my sparring partner.
âWhat the hell is going on with your body? Are you actually human?â
âYouâre pretty rude, huh. My bodyâs just a bit more robust than the average personâs.â
âRobust?â
âYeah, I was run over by a truck last month, but was discharged from the hospital three days later.â
ââŠâŠâ She narrowed her eyes with a dubious gaze.
âŠâŠHey now, whatâs that reaction for. Donât look at me like Iâm some alien.
ââŠSo, whatâs your name?â
I mean, if she was forced into an ambulance, I at least should know her name. Also, in case we need to take this to court as well.
ââŠEh?â However, the girl awkwardly averted her eyes at my question. âW-Why would you ask for that?â
ââŠ? I mean, we at least should know our names, right? Is that such a problem? Not to mention that youâre from Rouran as well, looking at your uniform.â
ââŠâŠ~~~!â She let out an awkward groan.
Following that, she unwillingly moved her plump lipsâŠ
ââŠYamada.â
âHuh?â
âYamada. Thatâs my family name.â
ââŠHuh. So, what about your given name?â
âLucy.â
âLucy Yamada!?â
âWhatâs your problem? Itâs a good name, right?â She let out a confident breath, and glared up at me.
Lucy Yamada, huhâŠYeah, thatâs gotta be fake. Thereâs no Japanese person who has such a cool name. Clearly, she doesnât believe me at all. Was I acting that suspicious? I feel like sheâs needlessly careful around people, almost like a wild rabbit.
âCome on, you hit me with your bike, I think I at least deserve that.â
âItâs your fault for not dodging. Also, can you stop with the whole âYou you youâ already?â
âThen tell me your real name.â
âDonât wanna!â
âThen, what year are you in? That should be enough to tell me, right?â
ââŠSecond. What about you? I wonât forgive you if youâre beneath me.â
âWhat a shame, Iâm a second-year student as well. Though we seem to be in different classes.â
I would have realized if she was a classmate of mine. Our school has a lot of students after all, so I guess we really never even walked past each other. But, thenâŠ
ââŠHm?â
The girl sat on the ground, her back to the concrete wall. Between her thighs I could see something all too familiarâŠWait, those are my glasses.
âH-HeyâŠwhere are you looking!â She started blushing furiously, and pulled down her skirt.
As a result of that, the glasses escaped deeper into her skirt. Not to mention at a position that was hard to point out. Hmm, this ainât good. She might step on them by accident. I really need them, so I canât allow that to happen.
âW-What? Why are you staring at my skirt?â
âWell, something important to me is inside thereâŠâ
âSomething important!?â The girl once again pulled down her skirt, and blushed even harder.
Hey now, I wasnât lying. Youâre protecting my one and only pair of glasses there.
âY-YouâŠWhat are you saying in the middle of the residential districtâŠâ
Hm? I mean, I want whatâs inside your skirt.â
âWhaâŠâ
âBut, itâs hard for me to get, so could you grab it for me?â
âYouâre telling me to take it off and give it to you!?â
âThatâs right. Are you telling me to get it?â
I mean, as she said, weâre in the middle of the residential district. Are you telling me to stuff my hand in a girlâs skirt like this?
âBâŠB-But, even if you suddenly ask me that, I canâtâŠâ
âWhatâs the problem? Should be easy, right?â
âWhaâŠeasyâŠ!?â
âYeah, really easy. Even a kindergartener could do it.â
âYou made a kindergartener do that!?â She screamed with an expression like she had seen the devil reincarnated.
Whatâs the big deal? There was a time I was too nervous about high school exams, and forgot my glasses, so Kureha had to bring them for me. If my little sister can do it, then a kindergarten child can do it even better.
âI mean, never had a kindergartner do it, but my little sister already did it before.â
âWhaâŠâ
âShe put them in her pocket, and brought them to the interview at the high school I was applying at.â
âInterviewâŠhigh schoolâŠwhy there?â
âEh? Because I need them for the interview??â
âSeriously?â
âYeah, I canât live without them. Itâs much better than any good luck charm.â
âSoâŠyou gave that to the interviewer?â
âHuh? Why would I do that?â
What an awful bribe that would be. Of course, what I didâŠ
âI put them on?â
âYou put them on!?â
âThanks to that, everything worked out.â
âThat clearly should not have worked out!?â
âThe interviewer even said âWhere do they sell these? I want a pair myselfâ, you knowâŠâ
âNoooooooooooo!?â
âAnyway, I was really thankful to my little sister back then.â
ââŠB-But, she must have hated the idea of bringing that to you, rightâŠâ
âMaybe? I think she started blushing with a âI was really embarrassed while bringing that here, you knowâ, or something along those lines.â
âOf course sheâd start blushiiiing!â She threw in a sharp retort.
What a wonderful retort that was. But, why? Kureha simply said âItâs embarrassing to come here when Iâm not even taking the exam myselfâ.
âBut, she forgave me with one piece of Garigari-kun.â
âWith just that?!â
âHm? You also want a Garigari-kun or something?â
âI-I donât! I really donât!â
âAlright then. Anyway, I got run over by you, right, so giving me them would be the least thing to doâŠBut, if youâre that against it, I can just grab them myself, I guess.â
â~~~!â She started blushing all the way up to her ears, as tears formed in her eyes.
After another brief silence, seeming like she had accepted her fate, she reached for the inside of her skirt with quivering fingersâŠ
ââI canâtâŠâ
Right as she grabbed the hem of her skirt, she put down her hand. Why is this such a big deal? I was feeling a bit annoyed, when she continued with a meek voice.
âThatâs whyâŠyou do it.â
âWha?â
âI said you do it. I canâtâŠâ She averted her gaze, visibly embarrassed.
âŠâŠUm, what is this about? Just to make sure, I confirmed our surroundings. Luckily, only a cat was watching us.
âA-Are you sure? Youâre not going to ask for money later?â
âY-Yeah. Just hurry up and do it.â
F-For now, let me confirm the situation. Sitting in front of me was a girl. Sheâs wearing Rouran Academyâs uniform, with a pleated skirt. Her plump thighs created a small gapâŠ
ââŠâŠ!â
C-Calm down me. Whatâs important is to get back the glasses. I most definitely am not thinking about anything lewd. In my head, the Indiana Jones theme was playing, as my hand approached the inside of the skirt.
âBueh!?â
An impact shook my body. I was kicked, not to mention quite fiercely. The girlâs right leg had stabbed directly into my stomach.
âYouâŠyou, what was that forâŠâ
That woman kicked me right in my solar plexus. Not to mention with the heel of her long boots. If I was just your run-of-the-mill guy, I would have collapsed immediately.
âShut up, pervert! I was just playing with you! I was waiting for you to get closer so I could kick you, you never realized!? Who would let you take them off!â
âTake them off? What are you talking about? I only wantedâŠâ
âS-Shut up! Die! Get kicked to death by me!â
âHey, will you calm down alreaâŠWah!?â
A barrage of kicks flew my way, fast enough to cut through the air. Those are some sharp kicks alright, is she actually using some martial arts skill?
âCry! Scream! And then, die!â
âGah, just calm down already! Youâll crush my glasses at this rate!â
While dodging the kick that aimed directly at my face, I picked up the glasses on the groundâŠThat was careful, she almost destroyed my precious glasses.
ââŠThe hell is that?â
I heard a dumbfounded voice. Looking over, the girl stared at me and my glasses in shock.
âDonât tell me, thatâs what youâve been wanting this entire time?â
âHey nowâŠthatâs what Iâve been telling you. What did you think I was talking about anyway?â
âUrkâŠâ The girl blushed again, and pulled down her skirt.
Just what is that girl imaginingâŠAlso, itâs annoying that I donât know her name.
ââŠCanât help it.â
Guess I have to be the one to introduce myself first. I let out a sigh, and slowly put on my glasses. Right afterâŠ
ââAh.â
For some reason, the girl pointed at me and my glasses, her expression once again different from before. Itâs like she ran into someone she knew in the center of town.
ââŠ? What, you know me or something?â
Since I always keep on my glasses at school, she probably couldnât recognize me without them. Not to mention that she probably is still under a bit of a shock after having run me over like that.
ââŠYep, I sure doâŠReally, why did I not realize.â
It happened in the blink of an eye.
â!?â
Another kick flew my way. Not to mention a very aggressive high kick. Her right leg shot towards me, perfectly landing on my jaw.
âGahâŠ!?â
Like the strings had been cut, I lost all strength in my hips.
ââŠâŠ!â
âŠHo crap. Pink. I saw pink. That cherry blossom pink-colored fabric had an adorable ribbon on it.
ââŠâŠâ
âŠNo, wait a second. This isnât what you think it is. Itâs not that Iâm shocked to see her wear such cutesy underwear or anything, I actually had plenty enough time to dodge that attack, but this peek of what I shouldnât be seeing just robbed all my focus from me, which is why I couldnât evade that kick.
ââŠWait, this isnât the time to explain myself!â I retorted on my own stupidity, and fell backwards on staggering legs.
My field of view shook, as the impact pulled on my fading consciousness. And yet again I have to emphasize, this is all because of her kick, and most definitely not because I saw her panties.
âHuh. That was pretty easy. I expected a bit more from her Onii-chan.â
ââŠWha?â
Onii-chan? Does sheâŠknow Kureha? I tried my best to ask this question out loud, only to find that high boot stomping right onto my abdomen as I had fallen backwards on the ground.
âGuho!?â
All the air was pushed out of my stomachâŠNot good. This isnât just some joke, I will actually die. Not to mention that in this position, I could barely not look inside her skirt. Instead, I got a perfect view of her slender leg covered by the boot, andâŠWait, what am I thinking in this situationâŠ!
âReallyâŠitâs unbelievable. How did youâŠâ While grinding her foot on me, the girl spoke with a cold tone.
I could feel clear hate. And thenâŠ
ââHey, tell me.â She gave me a doubtful gaze, as she looked down at me in disgust. âHow did youâŠbecome friends with Subaru-sama?â
âY-YouâŠâ
Who are you? As I was having this doubt fill my head, she had her twintails shake, and answered me.
âFine, Iâll be kind enough to tell you. My name isâUsami.â
ââŠUsagi1?â
ââŠ! U-S-A-M-I! Not Usagi! Iâm not some rabbit!â She put more strength into her heel.
UrkâŠI canât breathe. How could this happenâŠSheâs going to awaken some weird new fetish inside of me at this rate.
âIâll tell you again, so listen carefully. My name isâŠâ The girlâŠNo, Usami opened her mouth one more time. âUsami Masamune, a second year at Rouran Academy and a member of the handicrafts club.â
ââŠâŠâ
Let me start from the conclusion. The handicrafts club at our school really isnât normal.
I saw the boot in my view, the heel floating in the air. Right as that came soaring down on my solar plexus again, those were my thoughts.
Ă
âGyaaaaah!â
My consciousness returned. The second my eyes opened, my upper body shot up.
ââŠOuch.â
A severe pain assaulted my stomach. When I pulled up my shirtâŠWow, so many bruises. When I look at all these injuries, I can only accept that previous scenery as reality, and not just some nightmare.
âDamn it, that girlâŠâ
UsagiâŠNo, Usami Masamune, was it. That damn wench, stepping on me like she wanted to turn grapes into wine. Thanks to that, I almost got to meet my maker.
ââŠJeez.â I let out a sigh in order to calm myself down.
More importantlyâŠwhere is this? I was unsure where to find myself, and looked aroundâŠ
âJirouâŠare you okay?â An anxious alto voice reached my ears.
I directed my gaze towards the source of the voice, and found the face of a beautiful and handsome boy, possessing the facial features of an antique doll. On top of that, she wore tight pants with a waist, even a tight tailcoat on top of that. Itâs a different uniform from what you would normally see at our schoolânamely, a butlerâs uniform.
She is Konoe Subaru, the personal male butler of Suzutsuki Kanade, who is the single daughter of this schoolâs board chairman. The students call her âSubaru-samaâ like a prince. And right now, this very prince sat next to my bed on a chair, giving me a worried gaze.
âKonoe? Um, this isâŠâ
âThe infirmary.â Konoe responded with a calm voice.
Yeah, now that she mentions it, all these shelves with medicine and those two white beds, as well as that distinct scent of antiseptic solution. This definitely is the infirmary at our school. But, why am I here?
âI was shocked. When I walked to school, I found you collapsed at the side of the road. Leaving you there out cold would have been too cruel, so I carried you here.â
Ahh, I see. It seems like that Usami girl grinded me with her boot so much that I lost consciousness. Not like that doesnât sound fishy at all.
âJirou, were you run over by a car or something? I saw parts of a car close to you on the ground, soâŠâ
âWell, something like that. I got hit badly, so I just lost consciousnessâŠâ
Well, it was a traffic accident. Canât tell her that I got kicked by a girl to the point where I blacked out, though. I donât have that kind of fetish.
âSorry that you had to carry me all the way over here. But, Iâm not hurt or anything from how things look. You know how tough my body is, right?â
ââŠYeah. Thatâs fine and allâŠâ Konoe awkwardly averted her gaze from me.
Hm? I feel like sheâs acting a bit weird today. Normally, sheâd have more of a sour look on her face. Itâs almost like sheâs super worried about me?
ââŠSay, Jirou, can I ask one thing?â Konoe seemed to have made up her mind, and opened her mouth. âWhen you were sleeping, you were screaming things like âPlease forgive me, my Queeeeen!ââŠâ
â!â
âAlso, I heard something like âIf you grind on me any more with that, you will open a dangerous door for meee!â, whatâs that about?â
ââŠâŠâ
âIn the end, you were just begging, saying â20.000 yen! Iâll give you 20.000 yen so please forgive me! Ah, urk, no moreeeeâŠâ. On top of thatâŠâ
âAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!â I frantically interrupted Konoeâs words.
âŠWow, it seems like I took more psychological damage from this incident than physical damage.
âI-Itâs fine, I just had a nightmare is all.â
âReally? It looked like you were possessed by some evil spirit or whateverâŠâ
âDonât worry. I tend to have more nightmares lately.â
âYou do!? Are you sure youâre not suffering from some mental sickness!?â
âNo problems. I definitely did not awaken to some weird fetish like that.â
ââŠHmm, well if you say soâŠThe thing is, there was a bit of an incident in the residential district today.â
âAn incident?â
Konoe nodded, and continued with a serious expression.
âApparently, a girl was molested on the way to school.â
Immediately after I heard that, my back started to grow damp from the sweat. Those damn neighbours actually reported that!
âIt caused quite a ruckus. A housewife nearby heard a girlâs screams, followed by a boy and a girl fighting.â
âH-HuhâŠthat sounds roughâŠâ
âI felt like this wasnât related to you, so I brought you here, butâŠthat was the right choice, wasnât it?â
âOf course! Thereâs no way Iâd put my hand into a girlâs skirt, you know!â
In my head, I was already thinking about how to change my route from and to school. I best avoid that part of the residential district for a while. Thereâs a high chance that place is crawling with police by now.
âMore importantly, whereâs Suzutsuki? Sheâs not with you?â
I tried to avoid the topic all-together, so I chose the best method. Konoe is heading to school with me as a means of observing me, but that wasnât the case this morning. Then, that must mean Suzutsuki came to school with Konoe. Though, they probably got driven here.
âI came to look after you, but the young lady is still in class. Though, the first period is about to end.â
âReally. Well, I didnât want to skip class, but at least Suzutsuki isnât here, so itâs fine.â
I feel like our nurse Nakamoto-sensei isnât here either right now, but she must be off to the staff office or something. As for the first period, I can just have Kurose show me his notes laterâŠWell, if his handwriting is sufficable.
ââŠHmpf.â I heard a displeased voice.
Looking over, Konoe had narrowed her eyebrows, giving me a dubious glance.
âJirou, Iâve been wondering about this for a while, butâŠarenât you avoiding the young lady a bit too much as of late?â
Twitch.
âI think it started right after Golden Week ended.â
Twitch.
âEver since then, you started declining any kind of healing program that the young lady came up with, saying you had other plans or whatever. But, itâs not just that. You also tried to evade the young lady when youâre at school. Did something happen between the two of you?â When Konoe asked that question, her eyes narrowed.
In short, sheâs not wrong. In reality, I have been avoiding Suzutsuki.
âSorry, I need to prepare to watch anime all night!â I said, using a really weak excuse to avoid any recent treatment for my gynophobia. The cause of everything is the incident on the final day of Golden Week. After all, Suzutsuki Kanadeâstole my first kiss.
ââŠâŠâŠâ
âŠThis is bad. Just remembering it makes me feel depressed. T-To think my first kiss had to be with that wench of a rich ladyâŠHonestly speaking, it weighed me down quite a bit. No matter how I try to forget about it, there comes a time when Iâm being reminded of the ending theme of Ki*eretsu Daihyakka2. Itâs just a hallucination. But, itâs probably just a matter of time until some robot appears in front of me.
Whatâs worse than having my first kiss stolenâŠis that it had to be by Suzutsuki Kanade of all people. She definitely enjoyed making me suffer. I mean, I was giving it some thought, assuming that she might have a thing for me and all, butâŠthatâs impossible. Weâre talking about that Suzutsuki, you know.
She commits crime for fun. She must be having fun watching me suffer like that. And, I still think that this is going too far. An actual kiss just to torture me? You rich people have no worries at all, huh.
ButâŠeven I think that thereâs a limit reached here. I canât avoid her forever. Thatâs why, Iâd like to think of some countermeasures, butâŠ
âIf thereâs anything youâre having trouble with, I donât mind listening.â Konoe must have guessed what I was thinking, and offered a helping hand. âAfter all, Jirou and IâŠare friends, right? Friends listen to each otherâs problems.â
âKonoeâŠâ
Man, sheâs such a good person. Completely different from her master. My friend! Lend me your strength!
âBut, I do have one condition.â
However, as if to betray my thoughts, the butler said with a natural tone.
âYou have to listen to a request of mine.â
ââŠHmm.â
So thatâs how weâre doing things. Thatâs a bit unexpected. I thought that kind of thing was only a strength of Suzutsuki, but to think that even Konoe would ask for compensation. Then again, it must be something very important. As I was thinking about what it could be, Konoe took a deep breath, and then opened her mouth.
ââŠI want you to spend the day of the school festival with me!â With a bit of a clumsy representation, these were her words.
ââŠSchool festival?â
âYeah, itâs right around the corner, right. Iâll listen to your problems, so I want you to walk around with me at the school festival.â
âI mean, I donât mind, butâŠarenât you gonna do that with Suzutsuki?â
Theyâre master and butler, and unlike a long time ago, ever since the incident in April, theyâve actually gotten along really well, even at school. Why not ask her then?
âThe young lady will be busy during the school festival, as she is the class representative. They have to support the school festival execution committee, right?â
âNow that you mention itâŠâ
Just as Konoe stated, the class representatives at our school have the duty to help in this execution committee. Basically, the two representatives decide on what the class offers during the school festival. On a side note, the male representative of our class is called Tamura, and we decided on a cosplay cafe as our attraction.
Since the girls will be wearing cosplays when serving the customers, itâs pretty maniacal of an attraction, and as you might imagine, the girls were protesting against this a lot. However, Tamura fought against this to his best ability, and even managed to grasp victory with a majority vote.
Naturally, the boys were treating him like Jesus reincarnated, but when one of them asked âYour impression with the girls will take a dip for the worse, you know? Theyâre already giving you cold staresâ, Tamura delivered the unexpected coming-out with âItâs fineâŠI actually like that sort of thingâ, which even had the boys confused on what to feel.
Thanks to that pervertâŠI mean, Tamura, our class decided on the cosplay cafe, and weâre currently preparing for that. Naturally, the representatives will be busy with organisational stuff even during the day of the event, butâŠ
âCanât you just use your relationship as butler and master as an excuse to be with her?â
ââŠYeah, I said the same thing, butâŠâ Konoe showed somewhat of a troubled expression in return. âThe young lady told me not to worry about her, and enjoy the school festival. I know she must be considerate of me, butâŠâ
âBut?â
âIâŠdonât really know what it even means to walk around a school festival.â Konoe flashed a worried expression.
âŠSo thatâs what this is. Before this yearâs April, before I found out the secret that Konoe actually was a girl, she didnât have any friends at this school. At the same time, her relationship with Suzutsuki was still awkward. Thatâs why sheâs completely lost now. If itâs just walking around the school festival, thatâs no big problem.
ââŠWhat an idiot you are.â
She didnât have to desperately ask me for that. Weâre friends after allâŠWell, I guess she was worried that Iâd say no exactly because weâre friends.
âAinât gotta worry like that. Letâs walk around together.â
ââŠYeah, thanks. Iâm sureâŠitâll be a fun school festival.â Konoeâs expression lit up immediately after. âAlright, now itâs your turn, Jirou. Whatâs your problem?â
ââŠWell, I guess I have to tell you now. But, donât be shocked, okay?â
âRest assured. I am a butler, I wonât be surprised that easily.â Konoe puffed out her chest in confidence.
I mean, youâll be shocked exactly because youâre a butler. After all, this is about me being kissed by your master. If anything, Iâd be worried if you werenât surprised in any way.
âWhatâs wrong? Just tell me, no need to hold back.â
âA-AlrightâŠSo, this about my first kissââ
Rattle! Before I could even finish my sentence, Konoe shot up from her chair, her cheeks crimson red.
âWhyâŠwhy is that a topic right now!?â
âI meanâŠWait, do you know the details?â When I returned a question, Konoe started blushing even more furiously, and grew silent.
Donât tell me, did Suzutsuki tell Konoe?
âRather, why would you bring that up nowâŠWait, did the young lady!?â
Thatâs right, your master kissed me against my will. But, thereâs no way I can tell her.
âWellâŠthatâs about it. What you expected did happen. I was pretty shocked about itâŠâ I tried to explain things as vaguely as possible.
For some reason, Konoe started panicking, her mouth opening and closing.
âI was surprised as wellâŠA-After all, that was the first timeâŠâ
âI heard about that from her as well, butâŠwas that true?â
According to Suzutsuki, that was her first kiss. But, I find it hard to believe. I feel like sheâs got all the experience in the worldâŠ
âDonât be ridiculous! O-Of course it wasâŠ!â Butler-kun denied my assumptions flat-out.
That is one hell of a menacing look. Itâs almost like I was doubting her, and not Suzutsuki.
âButâŠwhy would you bring that up nowâŠitâs been two months sinceâŠâ
âTwo months?â
That kiss happened last month, so itâs barely been one.
âButâŠitâs all your fault! T-That time couldnât be helped!â
âYouâre right. I didnât run away after all, and whatâs happened cannot be undone. ButâŠit was my first time, you know?â
âUrkâŠthat does make senseâŠâ
âRight? If possible, Iâd like to redo it, alright.â
Seriously, Iâd love to be able to go back in time. With these thoughts, I let out a sigh.
âWhaâŠwhaâŠâ Konoeâs eyes shot open, looking at me like she had seen a ghost.
Is she okay? I feel like sheâll dislocate her jaw at this rate.
âJirouâŠW-W-What did you just say?â
âHm? I said that Iâd love to redo it.â
âReallyâŠ?â
âYeah, if possible, Iâd like to do it right now.â
âRight now!?â Konoe raised a loud shocked voice.
Of course? After all, that was my first kiss, and even if that was the same for Suzutsuki, I want to get a second chance.
âButâŠeven if you suddenly tell me nowâŠDoing something so bold right hereâŠâ
âRight here? I mean, does it matter? Itâs just the two of us here right now.â
Weâre just talking about it. And, werenât you the one who said youâd hear me out? Not like itâs anything bold either, Iâm just telling you about my past trauma.
âIt truly is just the two of us here right now, butâŠâ Konoe grasped the bottom part of her uniform.
Hm? Whyâs she so embarrassed now? Maybe I shouldnât have asked for advice after all?
âI mean, werenât you the one who asked me to do it?â
âWhen did I say that!?â
âJust nowâŠ?â
â!? N-No! IâŠI just said that I would hear you out!â
See, you said it yourself. Itâd be troublesome if you just quit mid-way of giving me advice. So, let me explain myself until the very end.
âIâve already revealed everything to you, I canât turn back now.â
ââŠ!â
âSo please, let me take this properly until the very end.â
âT-The very end!? Does that meanâŠâ
âOf course, until Iâm satisfied. Iâve been worried about it this entire past month.â
â~~~!â
For some reason, I could see steam rising from Konoeâs head. And, she stayed silent for a long moment.
ââŠA-Alright.â A voice about to disappear reached my ears. âButâŠgoing until the very end is a bitâŠI mean, weâre inside the schoolâs infirmary, so we never know when someone might be comingâŠAnd, I also have to mentally prepare myselfâŠâ
ââŠ?â
Basically, sheâs saying that we should move to another location? Hm, maybe she realized that this could turn longer than expected. Though, I donât get what sheâs on about with that mentally preparing stuff.
âThatâs whyâŠwhile weâre here, weâll only go withâŠMumble mumble.â
âHm? Did you say something towards the end? I couldnât clearly hear it.â
âWhaâŠI-Itâs pretty obvious even without me having to say it out loud! Damn itâŠJirou, you bullyâŠâ Konoe muttered with a faint voice.
âAnd then.
ââŠMm.â
Slowly, she closed her eyes, like she was scared of something. At the same time, she pushed out her lips a bitâŠHm? I feel like I somehow walked into some unfathomable development without knowing? Itâs almost as if I could reach a secret ending if I kept walking this wayâŠ?
âCome onâŠIf youâre going to do it, thenâŠdo it fast.â
âHuh? Do what?â
â~~~! I didnât think you were that much of a twisted bastard!â
Konoe started tearing up, and pouted.
âIâm talking aboutâŠthe kiss.â
ââŠWha?â
âDonât âWhaâ me! Do you still plan on playing dumb all the wayâŠ? Despite you telling me to do itâŠ!â
ââŠâŠâ
âŠOh crap. I donât have any clue whatâs going on here. How did things end up this way? Subaru-sama is right in front of my eyes, her lips in reach. So faintly red, almost like cherry blossomsâŠ
ââŠMm.â
Almost as if she couldnât hold back anymore than this, with her reddened cheeks, she slowly approached, and leaned her body against mineâ
âWhat are you two up to?â A dignified voice filled the infirmary.
When I turned towards the source, I spotted a beauty with long and glossy black hair, tied up into twintails, standing in front of the infirmary door. Just like Konoe, she wore a uniform distinctively different from our normal uniform. On top of possessing a dignified expression with fitting proportions on her body, she was also the real deal of a rich ladyâSuzutsuki Kanade. She looked at me and Konoe, facing each other, and gave us somewhat of a cold gaze.
âY-Young lady!? Y-Youâre wrong! Jirou just forcefullyâŠ!â Dear butler-kun moved away from me at an alarming speed.
Hey, what do you mean by âforcefullyâ, huh? You were the one who suddenly brought up that kissâŠ
âHmm, I see.â Suzutsuki closely inspected me, and approached us.
Urk, why is she so normal? An entire month might have passed since that incident, but Iâm still not over it, alright.
âWell, I donât particularly care what you are up to, but be mindful that as long as we are at school, you are a boy, so if someone other than me saw you, they might get the wrong idea.â
âUrkâŠM-My deepest apologies.â Konoe acted like a puppy that got scolded by its owner.
And then, she gave me a sharp gaze. Almost like she wanted to say âThis is all your fault!â, I felt a severe amount of pressure in her eyes. No, what did I do?
âGood morning, Jirou-kun. This feels like itâs been a while since weâve talked like this, right.â Suzutsuki moved to the side of the bed I was seated on, all the while keeping a gentle expression.
Donât joke with me. Did you think Iâd just stay calm about this, and let you talk?
âAlright, Konoe. Iâll be going back to the classroom.â I said, and got off the bed, heading to the door.
Weâre talking about that rich lady. Sheâs probably planning on opening that wound in my heart even more. Thatâs why I decided to disengage any communication. Running is victory in this context.
ââNo, Iâm not letting you leave.â
Suddenly, Suzutsukiâs arms wrapped around mineâŠNo, wrapped around my entire body, as she embraced me from behind.
ââŠ!? Y-You!â
Gaaaah what is this woman doing! Did she anticipate me running away!?
âL-Let go!â
âOh my, why should I?â
âWhyâŠYou know of my gynophobia, right!?â
âThatâs right, and this is part of your treatment process.â
âTreatment processâŠ!â
Youâre clearly just out to torture me. Is she angry that I skipped out on the treatment program or something? Thatâs a bit too sudden though. Even Konoe was looking at us in shock.
âUghâŠ!â
âŠNot good. I can feel the goosebumps all over my body, sweat drenching my shirt. My gynophobia is activating. Not to mention that with her arms on my bodyâŠI felt a strong softness hitting my backâŠ!
âA-Alright, I get it! Just get away from me! I donât want to faint again!â
Unable to handle it, I screamed while throwing my arms up, to which Suzutsuki gave a simple âYesâ, and moved her arms awayâŠHuh? That was much easier than I would have expected.
âHuhâŠJirou-kun, thatâs quite the interest you have.â Suzutsuki spoke up with a dignified voice.
I turned around to look at her, to which I saw her hold a red plastic mass in her right handâŠWait, hold on. Thatâs my phone.
âAh! Did you steal it after that tackle just now!?â
Sheâs done me in. That damn Devil Suzutsuki. I was wondering why she let me go this easily, but thatâs because she already accomplished her goal in stealing my smartphone from my pants pocket, using it as a hostage. Still, that was some slick movementâŠor, I guess I just wasnât paying attention.
âNow you wonât be able to escape.â She announced her victory with a proud tone in her voice.
Damn itâŠBut, you havenât beaten me yet! You might be a devil, but in terms of battle strength, youâre still just a girl! I can push you back with strength. I donât want to use violence against a girl, but as long as I can get my phone backâ
ââŠis probably what you are thinking, so excuse me. I went ahead and unlocked your phone.â
â!â
âAlso, I changed your PIN.â
â!?â
âYouâre quite careless, arenât you. To think the PIN of your phone was actually your birthday.â
ââŠâŠâŠâ
âOn a side note, the wallet you had in your back pocket is over where. Oh my, you only have 580 yen on you right now?â Suzutsuki checked the contents of my wallet, which she carried in her left hand.
Naturally, while smiling like the devil. I give up. Iâll put up a white flag, so please donât leak any of my personal information or the contents of my wallet any further than this. Also, please revert my PIN back to how it was beforeâŠ
âThen, letâs have a talk. Once weâre done, you can have it all back.â
ââŠYes, I understand, Suzutsuki-san.â
Please, can someone just figure out that womanâs weaknesses, and send all their research to my mail? Iâll pay you 580 yen for it. You might think itâs cheap, but this is all I have right now.
ââŠAlso, what about classes? Donât think the first period ended already.â
Looking over at the clock inside the infirmary, there was still some more time until recess. An honor student like Suzutsuki wouldnât skip classes like this.
âFirst period has already ended. Then again, it wasnât really a proper class.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âBecause the teacher was on leave, it was self-study. Apparently they suddenly fell ill or something.â
Hm, lucky for me then. No reason to copy notes then, and I donât get an earful for skipping.
âAnd about that, thereâs one more thing I need to tell you two.â
âSomething you need to tell us?â
âYes. In factâour attraction for the school festival was changed.â
ââŠHuh?â
âŠHold on, what is this woman saying?
âI wanted to use that time effectively, so we turned it into a long homeroom. There, we had a lot of objections regarding the cosplay cafe.â
âH-Hold on a second! We had a lot of those before, but the majority vote won, right! And, what about Tamura!? Thereâs no way he would allow any change in the program like thatâŠâ
Thatâs right, Tamuraâs a school festival execution committee member as well. Thanks to him, we overwhelmed the girls in a majority vote, and won the cosplay cafe fair and square.
âAh, Tamura-kun, right.â Suzutsuki used the name of the pervert with an awfully cold tone. ââHe died.â
âTamuraaaaaaa!?â
âJust kidding. But, he was hospitalized, that is the truth.â
âWhaâŠSuzutsuki, was that your doing!?â
She might have sent some assassin to Tamura for all I know. After all, sheâs crazy enough to kiss her classmate.
âYou make me sound like some villain. This morning, Tamura-kun was hit by a car on his way to school. Heâs not in grave danger, but heâll stay hospitalized for a while.â
âT-The heck is up with thatâŠâ
Damn it, Tamura. Be a man! I was hit by a motorbike myself, and Iâm at school right now. Your stock prices are taking a dip for the worse, you know.
âNo worries. As the class president, I plan on properly fulfilling my job as the executive committee member even without him. As for the attraction itself, it wonât be that different from a normal cosplay cafe.
âHuh?â
Whatâs this about? The girls were against it, remember? As I was left bewildered, Suzutsukiâs lips moved up, as she formed a bewitching smile.
âWeâve decided to doâa boys cross-dressing cafe. Instead of the girls, the boys will have to take off their clothes.â
âWhaâŠâ
Out of shock, I failed to properly use my mouth. How could this happen? Instead of being able to enjoy the girls cosplaying, it was decided that I had to be the one cosplaying. Not to mention that it had to be female clothes of all thingsâŠ
âUm, young ladyâŠâ There, Konoe raised an uneasy voice. âD-Does that meanâŠthat I have to cross-dress as well?â
â!â
Oh right, since the boys will be forced to cosplay, Konoe, who is always wearing male clothes, will have to dress like a girl as well.
âYes, of course. Thatâs the reason I decided on this plan. Everyone wants to see you wearing female clothes.â
ââŠ! A-Are you sure about this!?â
âAbout what?â
âI mean, Konoeâs a girl to begin with!â
âSo, you donât want to see her crossdress as a girl?â
âUrkâŠâ
âNot to mention that I went out of my way to getâŠAh, no, that was supposed to be a secret.â
â!?â
Now hold on there. I wanna see it. I really wanna see it now. After all, that cat-eared butler last month was plenty destructive already.
âI myself didnât think things would turn so complicated. However, the majority vote decided it.â
âMajority voteâŠWerenât the boys in the lead with at least two or three votes!â
In terms of sheer numbers, the boys won. Even without Tamura, they shouldnât have been able to be overthrown this easily.
âWhat are you talking about? Thatâs why I overturned it.â
ââŠWha?â
âAfter all, in terms of a majority voteâTwo boys didnât participate, remember?â
â!â
Ahhh, crap! I forgot that Konoe and I werenât part of the vote! I bet Konoe must have voted for the boys as well, because she most definitely doesnât want to wear female clothesâŠ!
âAlso, thereâs no need to worry regarding Subaruâs case. You just have to support her so that nobody finds out that she actually is a girl. Didnât you say so back during Golden Week?â
I mean, I might have said something along the lines of that, but the situation was clearly different from before. Right now, weâre talking about the entire school, not just my family. Thereâs way too many chances for her to be found out.
âHow about you, Subaru? Itâs a cosplay crossdressing cafe. You love cute clothes, right? Itâll give you a chance to try out all sorts of stuff.â
âUrkâŠâ
âNot to mention that you can wear all the cute things you love in front of everyone.â
âCute clothesâŠâ The crossdressing butler hesitated, only to let out a loose âEheheâ laugh later.
That damn Devil Suzutsuki. She really knows how to win over her own butler. I didnât think sheâd use her butlerâs interests for her goal. Still, the culture festival, huh. I donât think Iâll have much time to enjoy it at this rate.
âItâs about time for the second period. Jirou-kun, you go ahead.â
âHm? I donât mind, but why? Do you plan on skipping classes or something?â
Thatâd be a bit odd. Or rather, the first time, I think. Never seen the honor students Konoe and Suzutsuki skip class before.
âWeâre not skipping. In fact, this object had been in my shoe box this morning.â Suzutsuki said, and took out a pink envelope.
The heck is this? It feels like a really girly letterâŠ
âThis is actually a love letter.â
âLoveâŠWha, in this day and age!?â
âThatâs right, I was called to an empty space during this recess. Of course, going alone is a bit too dangerous, so Iâll take Subaru with me.â Suzutsuki calmly explained.
Itâs true that Suzutsuki is admired by pretty much every boy in this school, and sheâs been confessed to a million times even during her first year, with all of them being shut down immediately, butâŠ
âSay, Jirou-kun, what do you think?â
Suddenly, Suzutsuki turned towards me.
âWhat do I thinkâŠ?â
âAbout this love letter. Do you think I should go there after all?â
âHm? Of course. Also, you already decided on it, didnât you?â
ââŠâŠâŠâ Suzutsuki gave me a dubious gaze, and let out a sigh. âThenâŠwhat if I agreed?â
âHuh?â
âI mean, what if I went to meet that person, and agreed to their confession, what would you think?â
ââŠâŠ?â
Even if she suddenly asks me that, itâs hard to really comment. If anything, I feel bad for the guy whoâll end up dating that rich lady.
ââŠNothing much. Just go out with them, then?â
Naturally, I couldnât tell her the truth, so I just said something random to fit the mood. In response to that, Suzutsuki stayed quiet for a moment, and muttered a dejected ââŠI seeââŠâŠHm? Whyâd she make it sound like she expected something else? Just my imagination maybe? I mean, itâs something you canât fully see if you donât pay close attention.
âHey, Subaru.â Suzutsuki turned towards her butler. âWhat would you do? Imagine I went to meet that person, and that person forcefully kissed me?â
â!â I felt a cold sweat run down my back.
T-This woman, sheâs asking that in the presence of the person she nonconsensually kissed last month.
âKissâŠforced on the young lady?â Konoe thought about it for a moment, only to respond with a serious expression. âI would have to kill them.â
â!?â
âNo matter what their reason may be, I wonât forgive anybody who dares to defile the young lady like that.â
ââŠU-Um, Konoe-san. Isnât there more of a peaceful solutionâŠâ
âWhat are you talking about, Jirou. No matter who the other person may be, assaulting the young lady in such a fashion deserves a death sentence.â The butler said, while puffing out her chest covered with the corset.
My entire body started quivering in fear like I was the epicenter of a magnitude 8 earthquake. Of course, the source of it was that violent butler over there.
âFufu, thank you, Subaru. How reliable. Leaving that aside, Jirou-kun? Are you okay? Your face looks quite pale, maybe you should drink some medicine?â
ââŠâŠâ
âI wouldnât mind helping you drink mouth-to-mouth.â
âWha?!â
When I was shocked, Suzutsukiâs lips relaxed a bit, and she whispered a teasing âJust kiddingâ. This womanâŠSheâs doing this on purpose. Sheâs trying to scare me by pushing the conversation into that direction. Damn it, terrorising my heart like that. What did I do to deserve all of your anger?
âSo then, see you later, Jirou-kun. Once Iâve rejected the confession, weâll be coming to the classroom.â After returning my phone and wallet, Suzutsuki took Konoe with her, and left the infirmary.
ââŠJeez.â
Well, I have nothing to do but go to class, I guess. I got up from the bed, and moved my body. Yep, everythingâs looking fine so far. If anything, being kicked by that girl hurt far more than getting run over.
âDamn itâŠthat nasty Usagi.â I spit a complaint in the empty infirmary.
All of this is her fault because she ran me over with her bike.
âHm? Oh right, it wasnât Usagi, it was Usami.â
Well, same thing. I doubt Iâll ever talk with her again. More importantly, the second period is about to begin, I need to hurry back to the classroom.
ââWhoâs nasty?â
Without a warning, a sharp and cold voice stabbed into my ears. The source of the voice stood close to the door, the girl that most definitely had run me over this morning.
âAlso, itâs Usami, not Usagi. How many more times do I have to tell you?â
Thatâs right, it was Usami Masamune. With a bothered expression, the girl walked into the room, arms crossed. And, after closely inspecting me, she spoke up.
âCome with me, Sakamachi Kinjirou. Thereâs something important I need to talk with you about.â
ââŠâŠâ
Well, it probably isnât a confession, huh.
1Â Usagi = Rabbit
2Â Dis
Despite being brother and sister, despite being related by blood, there was a rift between us as deep as the Mariana trench. My classmates always voice their doubt about us even being siblings in the first place, but thatâs probably because they donât know much about her.
Well, deep down, sheâs a good girl, and I guess that she just watched too many midnight anime or read too much sibling stuff. After all, despite being a young girl, she loved shounen manga, and whenever she barged into my room, she would borrow all sorts of manga from me, saying âWhatâs Onii-chanâs is mine as well!ââŠNo, she pretty much stole it.
Naturally, that being repeated over and over, it would warrant for a rebellion or a coup dâĂ©tat, but the me back then didnât have the strength for that. Any half-baked resistance would be crushed. That is the iron rule of our Sakamachi Family. The weak devour the strong. My family environment pretty much was still stuck in the Jura age, creating cruel circumstances for me, who was weak.
Thatâs why, the best I could do was sneak into my little sisterâs room like some rat, and steal the shoujo manga she had. Thinking about it now, I totally did it out of spite. Of course, my tyrant little sister immediately caught on to that, and brought down death penalty as my punishment. Sadly, this is the status in my family. Put frankly, Iâm an endangered species about to go instinct. Iâm like a lake ball trying to survive in Lake Akan.
This being the case, the first romcom I read was a shoujo manga I stole from my little sister. And, it was quite the orthodox romcom, with the girl bumping into the protagonist at a crossing with toast in her mouth, all of this within the first four pages. I still remember thinking âThis is popular nowadays?â.
But, letâs move on to the main topic. The reason Iâm talking about thisâis the fact that such an orthodox romcom development happened to me. The time of year was the end of June. That hellish Golden Week ended, and as the asphalt sizzled from the early-summer sunshineâonly a few days away until the important school festivalâthe entire school was living in excitement towards that upcoming summer break. This happened on a certain day.
Without any warning or preamble, I bumped into a girl on my way to school. Of course, this happened at a crossroad, and of course she had toast in her mouthânot to mention that she was actually pretty cute. Normally, one would be happy about this, right? This might just signal the beginning of a wonderful new love, or some nonsense that only happens in the world of 2D, but you could at least hope, right?
However, there was one giant problem about this. That girlâŠwasnât walking to school. She was using a motorbike, and ran me over on my way to school.
Ă
âKyaaaaa! Out of the waaaaay!â
Together with a loud shriek like that, my body soared through the sky. It was a traffic accident you could see everywhere. Not to mention that it involved a human body instead of another car.
As I was on my way to school, right at a crossroad in the living district, a rampaging motorbike sent my body flying.
âGobuha!?â I let out a groan resembling a frog being crushed, and rolled along the asphalt like a bowling pin.
I mean, I didnât act like a comedian during a live show on purpose. I just reflexively tried to soften the impact. After that, I raised my body, aching with pain.
âUrkâŠâ
Ahh, that hurt. I seriously thought I was going to die. I confirmed the damage inflicted on my body. Seems like I got off with some light grazes. I go through worse every single morning thanks to Kurehaâs practice. I really donât want to suffer any needless injuries. Also, why does the handicrafts club need to do morning practice?
Well, I guess Iâm pretty lucky to get away with these mild injuries after being run over. With these thoughts, I stood on both of my legs. What a sturdy body I have. I guess this is what I get for living through my hellish family environment. Thankfully I can get through this without another hospital visitâŠ
ââŠHuh?â
Just when I thought that something was off, I realized that I lost my glasses. Did they fly off because of that impact just now? Itâs not like my eyesight was exceptionally bad, but without a spare pair, itâd be pretty troublesome. I looked around in search of my glasses. There, I realized that this incident had become pretty big. I could see the bike flipped over in the corner of the crossroad, together with the toast, andâ
ââŠCrap.â
The second I saw that, I subconsciously let out a groan. In the middle of this crossing, with arms and legs wide open, laid a girl wearing a familiar uniform.
ââŠâŠâŠâ
This is bad. She looks like sheâs on her deathbedâŠ! With this hellish scene in front of me, I wanted to just walk away. Not to mention that her skirt got flipped up because of the accident, letting me see her slender yet plump thighsâŠThis is seriously bad.
ââŠUm, hello?â I tried my best to not look where I shouldnât be, and waited for a response.
However, as silence followed, I was getting close to giving up. That being said, I canât leave her alone either. Not like the scene is secured either.
ââŠAlright.â I carefully approached my ears to her face, trying to check if she was still breathing.
However, it was hard to tell. Hence, I instead moved on to check her pulse with my hand on her neck. Waah, so warm. When I touched her soft skin, I could feel her heart beating even up to my fingers. Thank god, sheâs still alive. I sighed in relief, but itâs not like I could keep touching that girl forever.
Otherwise, my gynophobia will activate. Thatâs right, this gynophobia of mine is another result of my twisted family environment. Touching or being touched by a girl could literally kill me. If I stay too close to a girl for too long, my nose will start bleeding.
ââŠHm?â I slapped my cheeks to get back to my senses, when I looked at the girl again, and realized.
SomehowâŠthis girl is hella cute, isnât she? She had styled her wavy hair in two long twintails. Adding to her lively impression through her hairstyle, she had faint crimson colored lips, with long eyelashes. She was about the average size of a girl her age, about in the middle of Suzutsuki and Konoe. Her physique lets me guess that sheâs the sporty type of girl. The same image was seen on her slender legs, covered by about knee-high long socks. MmâŠthe gap between the wild design and uniform is justâŠ
âMguhâŠâ
âWoah!?â
When a faint breath escaped the girlâs lips, I subconsciously jumped backwards. Right after, the girlâs eyes opened. She possessed lifted eyes, resembling a catâs. Just from looking at her, she seemed pretty strong. After blinking a few times, the girl raised her body.
âHmâŠIâŠouchâŠâ
âHey, you okay?â
From the looks of it, she wasnât injured in any way, but I was worried that she might have hit her head. After all, her helmet landed in the corner of the crossing as well.
âY-YeahâŠIâm fineâŠâ She spoke that far, only to suddenly end up silent.
âŠ? I wonder why sheâs looking so awkward while being silent. Maybe sheâs hurt after all? The silence continued for a few more seconds.
âOh noâŠthat person must have died for sureâŠâ
I was about to let out a shocked âWhat?â in the face of that reaction. She completely ignored me, and continued with a heavy tone in her voice.
âIâŠhit that personâŠWhat should I doâŠI need to call 110 right nowâŠâ
ââŠâŠâŠâ
Oh my goodness, that girl thinks she killed me in that accident. Well, at least sheâs properly worried about me. I guess despite her fierce outer appearance, sheâs kind where it counts.
âI need to create a cover-upâŠNeed to erase all the evidence before the cops come hereâŠâ
I take back what I said. This girl might have a cute face, but most definitely is pure evil. She thinks she hit some passersby. Maybe she really hit her head after all? Or sheâs panicking. Either way, you should probably call 119 over 110. But, I should probably clear up the misunderstanding before that.
âDonât think you need to worry about that.â
Hearing my words, the girl let out a confused âEh?â, and rubbed her eyes one more time. After confirming her surroundings, she looked at me again.
ââŠâŠ!?â Immediately after, she grew pale.
She showed a frozen expression like she just saw a ghost. Her mouth opened and closed like a koi fish waiting to be fed, and her facial color changed like a traffic light to deep blue. In the midst of all of that, she let out groans along the lines of âAhâŠah, ahâŠâ
âKyaaaaaaaaaaaa!â She let out a scream like she encountered an exhibitionist in the middle of the street.
Of course, we were still in the middle of the residential districtâŠâŠNot good. I might have just worsened the situation. What if she caused a panic here? The neighbours would think I tried to assault her, and arrest me.
âC-Calm down. Iâm not some ghost.â I called out to her in an attempt to clear up the misunderstanding.
As a result of that, the girl moved backwards to the wall of the street, letting out another shriek as she sank to the floor.
âNooooo donât come any closer! Monster! You monster!â
âHey! Why do you have to be so cruel about this!â
Why do I have to be called a monster by someone I only just met. Also, my Mom or little sister are even more of a monster than me, alright.
âHow? Why are you alive? I ran you over at full speedâŠâ
âSo you were aware of itâŠâ
âI was planning on stepping on the brakes, but mistook them for the gas pedal.â
âMakes sense why I couldnât hear the sounds of any brakes when you hit me!â
Was she actually planning on killing me from the very start? Did someone record this by any chance, so that I can use this as evidence in court? Then again, itâs crazy how I managed to get out of this with barely any injuries. Maybe training my body recently was the right decision after all. Ever since that incident during Golden Week, Iâve been regularly training with Kureha and Konoe in that underground arena.
Itâs been a while since I was training this much after Mom left, so I guess I was getting back a lot of endurance. Of course, I still always lose against my sparring partner.
âWhat the hell is going on with your body? Are you actually human?â
âYouâre pretty rude, huh. My bodyâs just a bit more robust than the average personâs.â
âRobust?â
âYeah, I was run over by a truck last month, but was discharged from the hospital three days later.â
ââŠâŠâ She narrowed her eyes with a dubious gaze.
âŠâŠHey now, whatâs that reaction for. Donât look at me like Iâm some alien.
ââŠSo, whatâs your name?â
I mean, if she was forced into an ambulance, I at least should know her name. Also, in case we need to take this to court as well.
ââŠEh?â However, the girl awkwardly averted her eyes at my question. âW-Why would you ask for that?â
ââŠ? I mean, we at least should know our names, right? Is that such a problem? Not to mention that youâre from Rouran as well, looking at your uniform.â
ââŠâŠ~~~!â She let out an awkward groan.
Following that, she unwillingly moved her plump lipsâŠ
ââŠYamada.â
âHuh?â
âYamada. Thatâs my family name.â
ââŠHuh. So, what about your given name?â
âLucy.â
âLucy Yamada!?â
âWhatâs your problem? Itâs a good name, right?â She let out a confident breath, and glared up at me.
Lucy Yamada, huhâŠYeah, thatâs gotta be fake. Thereâs no Japanese person who has such a cool name. Clearly, she doesnât believe me at all. Was I acting that suspicious? I feel like sheâs needlessly careful around people, almost like a wild rabbit.
âCome on, you hit me with your bike, I think I at least deserve that.â
âItâs your fault for not dodging. Also, can you stop with the whole âYou you youâ already?â
âThen tell me your real name.â
âDonât wanna!â
âThen, what year are you in? That should be enough to tell me, right?â
ââŠSecond. What about you? I wonât forgive you if youâre beneath me.â
âWhat a shame, Iâm a second-year student as well. Though we seem to be in different classes.â
I would have realized if she was a classmate of mine. Our school has a lot of students after all, so I guess we really never even walked past each other. But, thenâŠ
ââŠHm?â
The girl sat on the ground, her back to the concrete wall. Between her thighs I could see something all too familiarâŠWait, those are my glasses.
âH-HeyâŠwhere are you looking!â She started blushing furiously, and pulled down her skirt.
As a result of that, the glasses escaped deeper into her skirt. Not to mention at a position that was hard to point out. Hmm, this ainât good. She might step on them by accident. I really need them, so I canât allow that to happen.
âW-What? Why are you staring at my skirt?â
âWell, something important to me is inside thereâŠâ
âSomething important!?â The girl once again pulled down her skirt, and blushed even harder.
Hey now, I wasnât lying. Youâre protecting my one and only pair of glasses there.
âY-YouâŠWhat are you saying in the middle of the residential districtâŠâ
Hm? I mean, I want whatâs inside your skirt.â
âWhaâŠâ
âBut, itâs hard for me to get, so could you grab it for me?â
âYouâre telling me to take it off and give it to you!?â
âThatâs right. Are you telling me to get it?â
I mean, as she said, weâre in the middle of the residential district. Are you telling me to stuff my hand in a girlâs skirt like this?
âBâŠB-But, even if you suddenly ask me that, I canâtâŠâ
âWhatâs the problem? Should be easy, right?â
âWhaâŠeasyâŠ!?â
âYeah, really easy. Even a kindergartener could do it.â
âYou made a kindergartener do that!?â She screamed with an expression like she had seen the devil reincarnated.
Whatâs the big deal? There was a time I was too nervous about high school exams, and forgot my glasses, so Kureha had to bring them for me. If my little sister can do it, then a kindergarten child can do it even better.
âI mean, never had a kindergartner do it, but my little sister already did it before.â
âWhaâŠâ
âShe put them in her pocket, and brought them to the interview at the high school I was applying at.â
âInterviewâŠhigh schoolâŠwhy there?â
âEh? Because I need them for the interview??â
âSeriously?â
âYeah, I canât live without them. Itâs much better than any good luck charm.â
âSoâŠyou gave that to the interviewer?â
âHuh? Why would I do that?â
What an awful bribe that would be. Of course, what I didâŠ
âI put them on?â
âYou put them on!?â
âThanks to that, everything worked out.â
âThat clearly should not have worked out!?â
âThe interviewer even said âWhere do they sell these? I want a pair myselfâ, you knowâŠâ
âNoooooooooooo!?â
âAnyway, I was really thankful to my little sister back then.â
ââŠB-But, she must have hated the idea of bringing that to you, rightâŠâ
âMaybe? I think she started blushing with a âI was really embarrassed while bringing that here, you knowâ, or something along those lines.â
âOf course sheâd start blushiiiing!â She threw in a sharp retort.
What a wonderful retort that was. But, why? Kureha simply said âItâs embarrassing to come here when Iâm not even taking the exam myselfâ.
âBut, she forgave me with one piece of Garigari-kun.â
âWith just that?!â
âHm? You also want a Garigari-kun or something?â
âI-I donât! I really donât!â
âAlright then. Anyway, I got run over by you, right, so giving me them would be the least thing to doâŠBut, if youâre that against it, I can just grab them myself, I guess.â
â~~~!â She started blushing all the way up to her ears, as tears formed in her eyes.
After another brief silence, seeming like she had accepted her fate, she reached for the inside of her skirt with quivering fingersâŠ
ââI canâtâŠâ
Right as she grabbed the hem of her skirt, she put down her hand. Why is this such a big deal? I was feeling a bit annoyed, when she continued with a meek voice.
âThatâs whyâŠyou do it.â
âWha?â
âI said you do it. I canâtâŠâ She averted her gaze, visibly embarrassed.
âŠâŠUm, what is this about? Just to make sure, I confirmed our surroundings. Luckily, only a cat was watching us.
âA-Are you sure? Youâre not going to ask for money later?â
âY-Yeah. Just hurry up and do it.â
F-For now, let me confirm the situation. Sitting in front of me was a girl. Sheâs wearing Rouran Academyâs uniform, with a pleated skirt. Her plump thighs created a small gapâŠ
ââŠâŠ!â
C-Calm down me. Whatâs important is to get back the glasses. I most definitely am not thinking about anything lewd. In my head, the Indiana Jones theme was playing, as my hand approached the inside of the skirt.
âBueh!?â
An impact shook my body. I was kicked, not to mention quite fiercely. The girlâs right leg had stabbed directly into my stomach.
âYouâŠyou, what was that forâŠâ
That woman kicked me right in my solar plexus. Not to mention with the heel of her long boots. If I was just your run-of-the-mill guy, I would have collapsed immediately.
âShut up, pervert! I was just playing with you! I was waiting for you to get closer so I could kick you, you never realized!? Who would let you take them off!â
âTake them off? What are you talking about? I only wantedâŠâ
âS-Shut up! Die! Get kicked to death by me!â
âHey, will you calm down alreaâŠWah!?â
A barrage of kicks flew my way, fast enough to cut through the air. Those are some sharp kicks alright, is she actually using some martial arts skill?
âCry! Scream! And then, die!â
âGah, just calm down already! Youâll crush my glasses at this rate!â
While dodging the kick that aimed directly at my face, I picked up the glasses on the groundâŠThat was careful, she almost destroyed my precious glasses.
ââŠThe hell is that?â
I heard a dumbfounded voice. Looking over, the girl stared at me and my glasses in shock.
âDonât tell me, thatâs what youâve been wanting this entire time?â
âHey nowâŠthatâs what Iâve been telling you. What did you think I was talking about anyway?â
âUrkâŠâ The girl blushed again, and pulled down her skirt.
Just what is that girl imaginingâŠAlso, itâs annoying that I donât know her name.
ââŠCanât help it.â
Guess I have to be the one to introduce myself first. I let out a sigh, and slowly put on my glasses. Right afterâŠ
ââAh.â
For some reason, the girl pointed at me and my glasses, her expression once again different from before. Itâs like she ran into someone she knew in the center of town.
ââŠ? What, you know me or something?â
Since I always keep on my glasses at school, she probably couldnât recognize me without them. Not to mention that she probably is still under a bit of a shock after having run me over like that.
ââŠYep, I sure doâŠReally, why did I not realize.â
It happened in the blink of an eye.
â!?â
Another kick flew my way. Not to mention a very aggressive high kick. Her right leg shot towards me, perfectly landing on my jaw.
âGahâŠ!?â
Like the strings had been cut, I lost all strength in my hips.
ââŠâŠ!â
âŠHo crap. Pink. I saw pink. That cherry blossom pink-colored fabric had an adorable ribbon on it.
ââŠâŠâ
âŠNo, wait a second. This isnât what you think it is. Itâs not that Iâm shocked to see her wear such cutesy underwear or anything, I actually had plenty enough time to dodge that attack, but this peek of what I shouldnât be seeing just robbed all my focus from me, which is why I couldnât evade that kick.
ââŠWait, this isnât the time to explain myself!â I retorted on my own stupidity, and fell backwards on staggering legs.
My field of view shook, as the impact pulled on my fading consciousness. And yet again I have to emphasize, this is all because of her kick, and most definitely not because I saw her panties.
âHuh. That was pretty easy. I expected a bit more from her Onii-chan.â
ââŠWha?â
Onii-chan? Does sheâŠknow Kureha? I tried my best to ask this question out loud, only to find that high boot stomping right onto my abdomen as I had fallen backwards on the ground.
âGuho!?â
All the air was pushed out of my stomachâŠNot good. This isnât just some joke, I will actually die. Not to mention that in this position, I could barely not look inside her skirt. Instead, I got a perfect view of her slender leg covered by the boot, andâŠWait, what am I thinking in this situationâŠ!
âReallyâŠitâs unbelievable. How did youâŠâ While grinding her foot on me, the girl spoke with a cold tone.
I could feel clear hate. And thenâŠ
ââHey, tell me.â She gave me a doubtful gaze, as she looked down at me in disgust. âHow did youâŠbecome friends with Subaru-sama?â
âY-YouâŠâ
Who are you? As I was having this doubt fill my head, she had her twintails shake, and answered me.
âFine, Iâll be kind enough to tell you. My name isâUsami.â
ââŠUsagi1?â
ââŠ! U-S-A-M-I! Not Usagi! Iâm not some rabbit!â She put more strength into her heel.
UrkâŠI canât breathe. How could this happenâŠSheâs going to awaken some weird new fetish inside of me at this rate.
âIâll tell you again, so listen carefully. My name isâŠâ The girlâŠNo, Usami opened her mouth one more time. âUsami Masamune, a second year at Rouran Academy and a member of the handicrafts club.â
ââŠâŠâ
Let me start from the conclusion. The handicrafts club at our school really isnât normal.
I saw the boot in my view, the heel floating in the air. Right as that came soaring down on my solar plexus again, those were my thoughts.
Ă
âGyaaaaah!â
My consciousness returned. The second my eyes opened, my upper body shot up.
ââŠOuch.â
A severe pain assaulted my stomach. When I pulled up my shirtâŠWow, so many bruises. When I look at all these injuries, I can only accept that previous scenery as reality, and not just some nightmare.
âDamn it, that girlâŠâ
UsagiâŠNo, Usami Masamune, was it. That damn wench, stepping on me like she wanted to turn grapes into wine. Thanks to that, I almost got to meet my maker.
ââŠJeez.â I let out a sigh in order to calm myself down.
More importantlyâŠwhere is this? I was unsure where to find myself, and looked aroundâŠ
âJirouâŠare you okay?â An anxious alto voice reached my ears.
I directed my gaze towards the source of the voice, and found the face of a beautiful and handsome boy, possessing the facial features of an antique doll. On top of that, she wore tight pants with a waist, even a tight tailcoat on top of that. Itâs a different uniform from what you would normally see at our schoolânamely, a butlerâs uniform.
She is Konoe Subaru, the personal male butler of Suzutsuki Kanade, who is the single daughter of this schoolâs board chairman. The students call her âSubaru-samaâ like a prince. And right now, this very prince sat next to my bed on a chair, giving me a worried gaze.
âKonoe? Um, this isâŠâ
âThe infirmary.â Konoe responded with a calm voice.
Yeah, now that she mentions it, all these shelves with medicine and those two white beds, as well as that distinct scent of antiseptic solution. This definitely is the infirmary at our school. But, why am I here?
âI was shocked. When I walked to school, I found you collapsed at the side of the road. Leaving you there out cold would have been too cruel, so I carried you here.â
Ahh, I see. It seems like that Usami girl grinded me with her boot so much that I lost consciousness. Not like that doesnât sound fishy at all.
âJirou, were you run over by a car or something? I saw parts of a car close to you on the ground, soâŠâ
âWell, something like that. I got hit badly, so I just lost consciousnessâŠâ
Well, it was a traffic accident. Canât tell her that I got kicked by a girl to the point where I blacked out, though. I donât have that kind of fetish.
âSorry that you had to carry me all the way over here. But, Iâm not hurt or anything from how things look. You know how tough my body is, right?â
ââŠYeah. Thatâs fine and allâŠâ Konoe awkwardly averted her gaze from me.
Hm? I feel like sheâs acting a bit weird today. Normally, sheâd have more of a sour look on her face. Itâs almost like sheâs super worried about me?
ââŠSay, Jirou, can I ask one thing?â Konoe seemed to have made up her mind, and opened her mouth. âWhen you were sleeping, you were screaming things like âPlease forgive me, my Queeeeen!ââŠâ
â!â
âAlso, I heard something like âIf you grind on me any more with that, you will open a dangerous door for meee!â, whatâs that about?â
ââŠâŠâ
âIn the end, you were just begging, saying â20.000 yen! Iâll give you 20.000 yen so please forgive me! Ah, urk, no moreeeeâŠâ. On top of thatâŠâ
âAhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!â I frantically interrupted Konoeâs words.
âŠWow, it seems like I took more psychological damage from this incident than physical damage.
âI-Itâs fine, I just had a nightmare is all.â
âReally? It looked like you were possessed by some evil spirit or whateverâŠâ
âDonât worry. I tend to have more nightmares lately.â
âYou do!? Are you sure youâre not suffering from some mental sickness!?â
âNo problems. I definitely did not awaken to some weird fetish like that.â
ââŠHmm, well if you say soâŠThe thing is, there was a bit of an incident in the residential district today.â
âAn incident?â
Konoe nodded, and continued with a serious expression.
âApparently, a girl was molested on the way to school.â
Immediately after I heard that, my back started to grow damp from the sweat. Those damn neighbours actually reported that!
âIt caused quite a ruckus. A housewife nearby heard a girlâs screams, followed by a boy and a girl fighting.â
âH-HuhâŠthat sounds roughâŠâ
âI felt like this wasnât related to you, so I brought you here, butâŠthat was the right choice, wasnât it?â
âOf course! Thereâs no way Iâd put my hand into a girlâs skirt, you know!â
In my head, I was already thinking about how to change my route from and to school. I best avoid that part of the residential district for a while. Thereâs a high chance that place is crawling with police by now.
âMore importantly, whereâs Suzutsuki? Sheâs not with you?â
I tried to avoid the topic all-together, so I chose the best method. Konoe is heading to school with me as a means of observing me, but that wasnât the case this morning. Then, that must mean Suzutsuki came to school with Konoe. Though, they probably got driven here.
âI came to look after you, but the young lady is still in class. Though, the first period is about to end.â
âReally. Well, I didnât want to skip class, but at least Suzutsuki isnât here, so itâs fine.â
I feel like our nurse Nakamoto-sensei isnât here either right now, but she must be off to the staff office or something. As for the first period, I can just have Kurose show me his notes laterâŠWell, if his handwriting is sufficable.
ââŠHmpf.â I heard a displeased voice.
Looking over, Konoe had narrowed her eyebrows, giving me a dubious glance.
âJirou, Iâve been wondering about this for a while, butâŠarenât you avoiding the young lady a bit too much as of late?â
Twitch.
âI think it started right after Golden Week ended.â
Twitch.
âEver since then, you started declining any kind of healing program that the young lady came up with, saying you had other plans or whatever. But, itâs not just that. You also tried to evade the young lady when youâre at school. Did something happen between the two of you?â When Konoe asked that question, her eyes narrowed.
In short, sheâs not wrong. In reality, I have been avoiding Suzutsuki.
âSorry, I need to prepare to watch anime all night!â I said, using a really weak excuse to avoid any recent treatment for my gynophobia. The cause of everything is the incident on the final day of Golden Week. After all, Suzutsuki Kanadeâstole my first kiss.
ââŠâŠâŠâ
âŠThis is bad. Just remembering it makes me feel depressed. T-To think my first kiss had to be with that wench of a rich ladyâŠHonestly speaking, it weighed me down quite a bit. No matter how I try to forget about it, there comes a time when Iâm being reminded of the ending theme of Ki*eretsu Daihyakka2. Itâs just a hallucination. But, itâs probably just a matter of time until some robot appears in front of me.
Whatâs worse than having my first kiss stolenâŠis that it had to be by Suzutsuki Kanade of all people. She definitely enjoyed making me suffer. I mean, I was giving it some thought, assuming that she might have a thing for me and all, butâŠthatâs impossible. Weâre talking about that Suzutsuki, you know.
She commits crime for fun. She must be having fun watching me suffer like that. And, I still think that this is going too far. An actual kiss just to torture me? You rich people have no worries at all, huh.
ButâŠeven I think that thereâs a limit reached here. I canât avoid her forever. Thatâs why, Iâd like to think of some countermeasures, butâŠ
âIf thereâs anything youâre having trouble with, I donât mind listening.â Konoe must have guessed what I was thinking, and offered a helping hand. âAfter all, Jirou and IâŠare friends, right? Friends listen to each otherâs problems.â
âKonoeâŠâ
Man, sheâs such a good person. Completely different from her master. My friend! Lend me your strength!
âBut, I do have one condition.â
However, as if to betray my thoughts, the butler said with a natural tone.
âYou have to listen to a request of mine.â
ââŠHmm.â
So thatâs how weâre doing things. Thatâs a bit unexpected. I thought that kind of thing was only a strength of Suzutsuki, but to think that even Konoe would ask for compensation. Then again, it must be something very important. As I was thinking about what it could be, Konoe took a deep breath, and then opened her mouth.
ââŠI want you to spend the day of the school festival with me!â With a bit of a clumsy representation, these were her words.
ââŠSchool festival?â
âYeah, itâs right around the corner, right. Iâll listen to your problems, so I want you to walk around with me at the school festival.â
âI mean, I donât mind, butâŠarenât you gonna do that with Suzutsuki?â
Theyâre master and butler, and unlike a long time ago, ever since the incident in April, theyâve actually gotten along really well, even at school. Why not ask her then?
âThe young lady will be busy during the school festival, as she is the class representative. They have to support the school festival execution committee, right?â
âNow that you mention itâŠâ
Just as Konoe stated, the class representatives at our school have the duty to help in this execution committee. Basically, the two representatives decide on what the class offers during the school festival. On a side note, the male representative of our class is called Tamura, and we decided on a cosplay cafe as our attraction.
Since the girls will be wearing cosplays when serving the customers, itâs pretty maniacal of an attraction, and as you might imagine, the girls were protesting against this a lot. However, Tamura fought against this to his best ability, and even managed to grasp victory with a majority vote.
Naturally, the boys were treating him like Jesus reincarnated, but when one of them asked âYour impression with the girls will take a dip for the worse, you know? Theyâre already giving you cold staresâ, Tamura delivered the unexpected coming-out with âItâs fineâŠI actually like that sort of thingâ, which even had the boys confused on what to feel.
Thanks to that pervertâŠI mean, Tamura, our class decided on the cosplay cafe, and weâre currently preparing for that. Naturally, the representatives will be busy with organisational stuff even during the day of the event, butâŠ
âCanât you just use your relationship as butler and master as an excuse to be with her?â
ââŠYeah, I said the same thing, butâŠâ Konoe showed somewhat of a troubled expression in return. âThe young lady told me not to worry about her, and enjoy the school festival. I know she must be considerate of me, butâŠâ
âBut?â
âIâŠdonât really know what it even means to walk around a school festival.â Konoe flashed a worried expression.
âŠSo thatâs what this is. Before this yearâs April, before I found out the secret that Konoe actually was a girl, she didnât have any friends at this school. At the same time, her relationship with Suzutsuki was still awkward. Thatâs why sheâs completely lost now. If itâs just walking around the school festival, thatâs no big problem.
ââŠWhat an idiot you are.â
She didnât have to desperately ask me for that. Weâre friends after allâŠWell, I guess she was worried that Iâd say no exactly because weâre friends.
âAinât gotta worry like that. Letâs walk around together.â
ââŠYeah, thanks. Iâm sureâŠitâll be a fun school festival.â Konoeâs expression lit up immediately after. âAlright, now itâs your turn, Jirou. Whatâs your problem?â
ââŠWell, I guess I have to tell you now. But, donât be shocked, okay?â
âRest assured. I am a butler, I wonât be surprised that easily.â Konoe puffed out her chest in confidence.
I mean, youâll be shocked exactly because youâre a butler. After all, this is about me being kissed by your master. If anything, Iâd be worried if you werenât surprised in any way.
âWhatâs wrong? Just tell me, no need to hold back.â
âA-AlrightâŠSo, this about my first kissââ
Rattle! Before I could even finish my sentence, Konoe shot up from her chair, her cheeks crimson red.
âWhyâŠwhy is that a topic right now!?â
âI meanâŠWait, do you know the details?â When I returned a question, Konoe started blushing even more furiously, and grew silent.
Donât tell me, did Suzutsuki tell Konoe?
âRather, why would you bring that up nowâŠWait, did the young lady!?â
Thatâs right, your master kissed me against my will. But, thereâs no way I can tell her.
âWellâŠthatâs about it. What you expected did happen. I was pretty shocked about itâŠâ I tried to explain things as vaguely as possible.
For some reason, Konoe started panicking, her mouth opening and closing.
âI was surprised as wellâŠA-After all, that was the first timeâŠâ
âI heard about that from her as well, butâŠwas that true?â
According to Suzutsuki, that was her first kiss. But, I find it hard to believe. I feel like sheâs got all the experience in the worldâŠ
âDonât be ridiculous! O-Of course it wasâŠ!â Butler-kun denied my assumptions flat-out.
That is one hell of a menacing look. Itâs almost like I was doubting her, and not Suzutsuki.
âButâŠwhy would you bring that up nowâŠitâs been two months sinceâŠâ
âTwo months?â
That kiss happened last month, so itâs barely been one.
âButâŠitâs all your fault! T-That time couldnât be helped!â
âYouâre right. I didnât run away after all, and whatâs happened cannot be undone. ButâŠit was my first time, you know?â
âUrkâŠthat does make senseâŠâ
âRight? If possible, Iâd like to redo it, alright.â
Seriously, Iâd love to be able to go back in time. With these thoughts, I let out a sigh.
âWhaâŠwhaâŠâ Konoeâs eyes shot open, looking at me like she had seen a ghost.
Is she okay? I feel like sheâll dislocate her jaw at this rate.
âJirouâŠW-W-What did you just say?â
âHm? I said that Iâd love to redo it.â
âReallyâŠ?â
âYeah, if possible, Iâd like to do it right now.â
âRight now!?â Konoe raised a loud shocked voice.
Of course? After all, that was my first kiss, and even if that was the same for Suzutsuki, I want to get a second chance.
âButâŠeven if you suddenly tell me nowâŠDoing something so bold right hereâŠâ
âRight here? I mean, does it matter? Itâs just the two of us here right now.â
Weâre just talking about it. And, werenât you the one who said youâd hear me out? Not like itâs anything bold either, Iâm just telling you about my past trauma.
âIt truly is just the two of us here right now, butâŠâ Konoe grasped the bottom part of her uniform.
Hm? Whyâs she so embarrassed now? Maybe I shouldnât have asked for advice after all?
âI mean, werenât you the one who asked me to do it?â
âWhen did I say that!?â
âJust nowâŠ?â
â!? N-No! IâŠI just said that I would hear you out!â
See, you said it yourself. Itâd be troublesome if you just quit mid-way of giving me advice. So, let me explain myself until the very end.
âIâve already revealed everything to you, I canât turn back now.â
ââŠ!â
âSo please, let me take this properly until the very end.â
âT-The very end!? Does that meanâŠâ
âOf course, until Iâm satisfied. Iâve been worried about it this entire past month.â
â~~~!â
For some reason, I could see steam rising from Konoeâs head. And, she stayed silent for a long moment.
ââŠA-Alright.â A voice about to disappear reached my ears. âButâŠgoing until the very end is a bitâŠI mean, weâre inside the schoolâs infirmary, so we never know when someone might be comingâŠAnd, I also have to mentally prepare myselfâŠâ
ââŠ?â
Basically, sheâs saying that we should move to another location? Hm, maybe she realized that this could turn longer than expected. Though, I donât get what sheâs on about with that mentally preparing stuff.
âThatâs whyâŠwhile weâre here, weâll only go withâŠMumble mumble.â
âHm? Did you say something towards the end? I couldnât clearly hear it.â
âWhaâŠI-Itâs pretty obvious even without me having to say it out loud! Damn itâŠJirou, you bullyâŠâ Konoe muttered with a faint voice.
âAnd then.
ââŠMm.â
Slowly, she closed her eyes, like she was scared of something. At the same time, she pushed out her lips a bitâŠHm? I feel like I somehow walked into some unfathomable development without knowing? Itâs almost as if I could reach a secret ending if I kept walking this wayâŠ?
âCome onâŠIf youâre going to do it, thenâŠdo it fast.â
âHuh? Do what?â
â~~~! I didnât think you were that much of a twisted bastard!â
Konoe started tearing up, and pouted.
âIâm talking aboutâŠthe kiss.â
ââŠWha?â
âDonât âWhaâ me! Do you still plan on playing dumb all the wayâŠ? Despite you telling me to do itâŠ!â
ââŠâŠâ
âŠOh crap. I donât have any clue whatâs going on here. How did things end up this way? Subaru-sama is right in front of my eyes, her lips in reach. So faintly red, almost like cherry blossomsâŠ
ââŠMm.â
Almost as if she couldnât hold back anymore than this, with her reddened cheeks, she slowly approached, and leaned her body against mineâ
âWhat are you two up to?â A dignified voice filled the infirmary.
When I turned towards the source, I spotted a beauty with long and glossy black hair, tied up into twintails, standing in front of the infirmary door. Just like Konoe, she wore a uniform distinctively different from our normal uniform. On top of possessing a dignified expression with fitting proportions on her body, she was also the real deal of a rich ladyâSuzutsuki Kanade. She looked at me and Konoe, facing each other, and gave us somewhat of a cold gaze.
âY-Young lady!? Y-Youâre wrong! Jirou just forcefullyâŠ!â Dear butler-kun moved away from me at an alarming speed.
Hey, what do you mean by âforcefullyâ, huh? You were the one who suddenly brought up that kissâŠ
âHmm, I see.â Suzutsuki closely inspected me, and approached us.
Urk, why is she so normal? An entire month might have passed since that incident, but Iâm still not over it, alright.
âWell, I donât particularly care what you are up to, but be mindful that as long as we are at school, you are a boy, so if someone other than me saw you, they might get the wrong idea.â
âUrkâŠM-My deepest apologies.â Konoe acted like a puppy that got scolded by its owner.
And then, she gave me a sharp gaze. Almost like she wanted to say âThis is all your fault!â, I felt a severe amount of pressure in her eyes. No, what did I do?
âGood morning, Jirou-kun. This feels like itâs been a while since weâve talked like this, right.â Suzutsuki moved to the side of the bed I was seated on, all the while keeping a gentle expression.
Donât joke with me. Did you think Iâd just stay calm about this, and let you talk?
âAlright, Konoe. Iâll be going back to the classroom.â I said, and got off the bed, heading to the door.
Weâre talking about that rich lady. Sheâs probably planning on opening that wound in my heart even more. Thatâs why I decided to disengage any communication. Running is victory in this context.
ââNo, Iâm not letting you leave.â
Suddenly, Suzutsukiâs arms wrapped around mineâŠNo, wrapped around my entire body, as she embraced me from behind.
ââŠ!? Y-You!â
Gaaaah what is this woman doing! Did she anticipate me running away!?
âL-Let go!â
âOh my, why should I?â
âWhyâŠYou know of my gynophobia, right!?â
âThatâs right, and this is part of your treatment process.â
âTreatment processâŠ!â
Youâre clearly just out to torture me. Is she angry that I skipped out on the treatment program or something? Thatâs a bit too sudden though. Even Konoe was looking at us in shock.
âUghâŠ!â
âŠNot good. I can feel the goosebumps all over my body, sweat drenching my shirt. My gynophobia is activating. Not to mention that with her arms on my bodyâŠI felt a strong softness hitting my backâŠ!
âA-Alright, I get it! Just get away from me! I donât want to faint again!â
Unable to handle it, I screamed while throwing my arms up, to which Suzutsuki gave a simple âYesâ, and moved her arms awayâŠHuh? That was much easier than I would have expected.
âHuhâŠJirou-kun, thatâs quite the interest you have.â Suzutsuki spoke up with a dignified voice.
I turned around to look at her, to which I saw her hold a red plastic mass in her right handâŠWait, hold on. Thatâs my phone.
âAh! Did you steal it after that tackle just now!?â
Sheâs done me in. That damn Devil Suzutsuki. I was wondering why she let me go this easily, but thatâs because she already accomplished her goal in stealing my smartphone from my pants pocket, using it as a hostage. Still, that was some slick movementâŠor, I guess I just wasnât paying attention.
âNow you wonât be able to escape.â She announced her victory with a proud tone in her voice.
Damn itâŠBut, you havenât beaten me yet! You might be a devil, but in terms of battle strength, youâre still just a girl! I can push you back with strength. I donât want to use violence against a girl, but as long as I can get my phone backâ
ââŠis probably what you are thinking, so excuse me. I went ahead and unlocked your phone.â
â!â
âAlso, I changed your PIN.â
â!?â
âYouâre quite careless, arenât you. To think the PIN of your phone was actually your birthday.â
ââŠâŠâŠâ
âOn a side note, the wallet you had in your back pocket is over where. Oh my, you only have 580 yen on you right now?â Suzutsuki checked the contents of my wallet, which she carried in her left hand.
Naturally, while smiling like the devil. I give up. Iâll put up a white flag, so please donât leak any of my personal information or the contents of my wallet any further than this. Also, please revert my PIN back to how it was beforeâŠ
âThen, letâs have a talk. Once weâre done, you can have it all back.â
ââŠYes, I understand, Suzutsuki-san.â
Please, can someone just figure out that womanâs weaknesses, and send all their research to my mail? Iâll pay you 580 yen for it. You might think itâs cheap, but this is all I have right now.
ââŠAlso, what about classes? Donât think the first period ended already.â
Looking over at the clock inside the infirmary, there was still some more time until recess. An honor student like Suzutsuki wouldnât skip classes like this.
âFirst period has already ended. Then again, it wasnât really a proper class.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âBecause the teacher was on leave, it was self-study. Apparently they suddenly fell ill or something.â
Hm, lucky for me then. No reason to copy notes then, and I donât get an earful for skipping.
âAnd about that, thereâs one more thing I need to tell you two.â
âSomething you need to tell us?â
âYes. In factâour attraction for the school festival was changed.â
ââŠHuh?â
âŠHold on, what is this woman saying?
âI wanted to use that time effectively, so we turned it into a long homeroom. There, we had a lot of objections regarding the cosplay cafe.â
âH-Hold on a second! We had a lot of those before, but the majority vote won, right! And, what about Tamura!? Thereâs no way he would allow any change in the program like thatâŠâ
Thatâs right, Tamuraâs a school festival execution committee member as well. Thanks to him, we overwhelmed the girls in a majority vote, and won the cosplay cafe fair and square.
âAh, Tamura-kun, right.â Suzutsuki used the name of the pervert with an awfully cold tone. ââHe died.â
âTamuraaaaaaa!?â
âJust kidding. But, he was hospitalized, that is the truth.â
âWhaâŠSuzutsuki, was that your doing!?â
She might have sent some assassin to Tamura for all I know. After all, sheâs crazy enough to kiss her classmate.
âYou make me sound like some villain. This morning, Tamura-kun was hit by a car on his way to school. Heâs not in grave danger, but heâll stay hospitalized for a while.â
âT-The heck is up with thatâŠâ
Damn it, Tamura. Be a man! I was hit by a motorbike myself, and Iâm at school right now. Your stock prices are taking a dip for the worse, you know.
âNo worries. As the class president, I plan on properly fulfilling my job as the executive committee member even without him. As for the attraction itself, it wonât be that different from a normal cosplay cafe.
âHuh?â
Whatâs this about? The girls were against it, remember? As I was left bewildered, Suzutsukiâs lips moved up, as she formed a bewitching smile.
âWeâve decided to doâa boys cross-dressing cafe. Instead of the girls, the boys will have to take off their clothes.â
âWhaâŠâ
Out of shock, I failed to properly use my mouth. How could this happen? Instead of being able to enjoy the girls cosplaying, it was decided that I had to be the one cosplaying. Not to mention that it had to be female clothes of all thingsâŠ
âUm, young ladyâŠâ There, Konoe raised an uneasy voice. âD-Does that meanâŠthat I have to cross-dress as well?â
â!â
Oh right, since the boys will be forced to cosplay, Konoe, who is always wearing male clothes, will have to dress like a girl as well.
âYes, of course. Thatâs the reason I decided on this plan. Everyone wants to see you wearing female clothes.â
ââŠ! A-Are you sure about this!?â
âAbout what?â
âI mean, Konoeâs a girl to begin with!â
âSo, you donât want to see her crossdress as a girl?â
âUrkâŠâ
âNot to mention that I went out of my way to getâŠAh, no, that was supposed to be a secret.â
â!?â
Now hold on there. I wanna see it. I really wanna see it now. After all, that cat-eared butler last month was plenty destructive already.
âI myself didnât think things would turn so complicated. However, the majority vote decided it.â
âMajority voteâŠWerenât the boys in the lead with at least two or three votes!â
In terms of sheer numbers, the boys won. Even without Tamura, they shouldnât have been able to be overthrown this easily.
âWhat are you talking about? Thatâs why I overturned it.â
ââŠWha?â
âAfter all, in terms of a majority voteâTwo boys didnât participate, remember?â
â!â
Ahhh, crap! I forgot that Konoe and I werenât part of the vote! I bet Konoe must have voted for the boys as well, because she most definitely doesnât want to wear female clothesâŠ!
âAlso, thereâs no need to worry regarding Subaruâs case. You just have to support her so that nobody finds out that she actually is a girl. Didnât you say so back during Golden Week?â
I mean, I might have said something along the lines of that, but the situation was clearly different from before. Right now, weâre talking about the entire school, not just my family. Thereâs way too many chances for her to be found out.
âHow about you, Subaru? Itâs a cosplay crossdressing cafe. You love cute clothes, right? Itâll give you a chance to try out all sorts of stuff.â
âUrkâŠâ
âNot to mention that you can wear all the cute things you love in front of everyone.â
âCute clothesâŠâ The crossdressing butler hesitated, only to let out a loose âEheheâ laugh later.
That damn Devil Suzutsuki. She really knows how to win over her own butler. I didnât think sheâd use her butlerâs interests for her goal. Still, the culture festival, huh. I donât think Iâll have much time to enjoy it at this rate.
âItâs about time for the second period. Jirou-kun, you go ahead.â
âHm? I donât mind, but why? Do you plan on skipping classes or something?â
Thatâd be a bit odd. Or rather, the first time, I think. Never seen the honor students Konoe and Suzutsuki skip class before.
âWeâre not skipping. In fact, this object had been in my shoe box this morning.â Suzutsuki said, and took out a pink envelope.
The heck is this? It feels like a really girly letterâŠ
âThis is actually a love letter.â
âLoveâŠWha, in this day and age!?â
âThatâs right, I was called to an empty space during this recess. Of course, going alone is a bit too dangerous, so Iâll take Subaru with me.â Suzutsuki calmly explained.
Itâs true that Suzutsuki is admired by pretty much every boy in this school, and sheâs been confessed to a million times even during her first year, with all of them being shut down immediately, butâŠ
âSay, Jirou-kun, what do you think?â
Suddenly, Suzutsuki turned towards me.
âWhat do I thinkâŠ?â
âAbout this love letter. Do you think I should go there after all?â
âHm? Of course. Also, you already decided on it, didnât you?â
ââŠâŠâŠâ Suzutsuki gave me a dubious gaze, and let out a sigh. âThenâŠwhat if I agreed?â
âHuh?â
âI mean, what if I went to meet that person, and agreed to their confession, what would you think?â
ââŠâŠ?â
Even if she suddenly asks me that, itâs hard to really comment. If anything, I feel bad for the guy whoâll end up dating that rich lady.
ââŠNothing much. Just go out with them, then?â
Naturally, I couldnât tell her the truth, so I just said something random to fit the mood. In response to that, Suzutsuki stayed quiet for a moment, and muttered a dejected ââŠI seeââŠâŠHm? Whyâd she make it sound like she expected something else? Just my imagination maybe? I mean, itâs something you canât fully see if you donât pay close attention.
âHey, Subaru.â Suzutsuki turned towards her butler. âWhat would you do? Imagine I went to meet that person, and that person forcefully kissed me?â
â!â I felt a cold sweat run down my back.
T-This woman, sheâs asking that in the presence of the person she nonconsensually kissed last month.
âKissâŠforced on the young lady?â Konoe thought about it for a moment, only to respond with a serious expression. âI would have to kill them.â
â!?â
âNo matter what their reason may be, I wonât forgive anybody who dares to defile the young lady like that.â
ââŠU-Um, Konoe-san. Isnât there more of a peaceful solutionâŠâ
âWhat are you talking about, Jirou. No matter who the other person may be, assaulting the young lady in such a fashion deserves a death sentence.â The butler said, while puffing out her chest covered with the corset.
My entire body started quivering in fear like I was the epicenter of a magnitude 8 earthquake. Of course, the source of it was that violent butler over there.
âFufu, thank you, Subaru. How reliable. Leaving that aside, Jirou-kun? Are you okay? Your face looks quite pale, maybe you should drink some medicine?â
ââŠâŠâ
âI wouldnât mind helping you drink mouth-to-mouth.â
âWha?!â
When I was shocked, Suzutsukiâs lips relaxed a bit, and she whispered a teasing âJust kiddingâ. This womanâŠSheâs doing this on purpose. Sheâs trying to scare me by pushing the conversation into that direction. Damn it, terrorising my heart like that. What did I do to deserve all of your anger?
âSo then, see you later, Jirou-kun. Once Iâve rejected the confession, weâll be coming to the classroom.â After returning my phone and wallet, Suzutsuki took Konoe with her, and left the infirmary.
ââŠJeez.â
Well, I have nothing to do but go to class, I guess. I got up from the bed, and moved my body. Yep, everythingâs looking fine so far. If anything, being kicked by that girl hurt far more than getting run over.
âDamn itâŠthat nasty Usagi.â I spit a complaint in the empty infirmary.
All of this is her fault because she ran me over with her bike.
âHm? Oh right, it wasnât Usagi, it was Usami.â
Well, same thing. I doubt Iâll ever talk with her again. More importantly, the second period is about to begin, I need to hurry back to the classroom.
ââWhoâs nasty?â
Without a warning, a sharp and cold voice stabbed into my ears. The source of the voice stood close to the door, the girl that most definitely had run me over this morning.
âAlso, itâs Usami, not Usagi. How many more times do I have to tell you?â
Thatâs right, it was Usami Masamune. With a bothered expression, the girl walked into the room, arms crossed. And, after closely inspecting me, she spoke up.
âCome with me, Sakamachi Kinjirou. Thereâs something important I need to talk with you about.â
ââŠâŠâ
Well, it probably isnât a confession, huh.
1Â Usagi = Rabbit
2Â Dis