Volume 8 - CH 5
“Konoe!”
At the open plaza in the amusement park, I finally managed to find Konoe, and called out to her.
“…Hm.” Princess-dress Butler-kun turned towards me.
Her expression was clearly filled with displeasure. I knew it, she’s still hung up on that whole incident with Masamune.
“What is it? Were you ordered by the young lady to participate as well?”
“No, if anything, she said…”
“What?”
“…Well, she said we could just skip the parade.”
“……”
Silence. An awkward silence filled the space between us…Come on, say something, me. Are you just going to stay quiet now? Just deal with the embarrassment, and talk with her.
“……”
I can’t. Everytime I look at Konoe’s face, the scenery of our kiss in that closet comes playing back in my head. What is this, why can’t I just let go of that? What is going on, this is almost like—
“…Alright.” The one to break the silence was Konoe.
With her translucent eyes, she looked directly at me.
“Jirou, I have a request, can I?”
“A request?”
“…Yeah.” Konoe faintly bit her lips in embarrassment.
And then, like she tried her hardest to form those words.
“I want you—to go on a date with me.”
×
“H-Hey, I bought it for you.”
“…Yeah, thanks.”
Konoe sat on a bench located near the open plaza, and I just returned with two crepes I bought.
“Have a seat, Jirou.”
“Y-Yeah.”
We exchanged a few awkward words, and I sat down next to Konoe. This is a date. A date with the Subaru-sama. To people from the Subaru-sama Fanclub, like Nakuru, this would be one hell of a sight. And if Kureha saw us like this, I’d probably see hell myself. However…
“T-This is pretty good.”
“…Yeah, you’re right.”
As before, no coherent conversation happened, as everything was awkward. Also, it’s clearly my fault. I don’t know why, but I just feel so nervous. I saw no other option, so I gulped down some of the crepe, to which a sweet taste of honey filled my mouth. Can’t even tell if it’s delicious or not.
This is weird. Something’s wrong about this. Not to mention Derechuki-san’s words that still flew around inside my head—You understand yourself this much, and you still haven’t caught on to your own feelings?
“………”
Just worrying about it wouldn’t do me any good, so I thought about the words I said back then. Suzutsuki asked me ‘How do you feel about Subaru?’, and I said that I didn’t want to see her crying face. That’s why, that’s what I swore back in April. Stand By Me. I wanted to say that to her. That’s why…
“…Konoe.”
As the plaza was growing noisy with all the other people wearing costumes, I broke the silence between the two of us.
“Why did you invite me out on a date?”
“…Hmpf.” Konoe stopped munching on her crepe, and grew silent.
Another short pause followed, until…
“Because you went on a date with Usami, right?”
“What?”
“L-Like I said! When we were walking through the haunted house, you were having fun with Usami, right! That was a date, wasn’t it. That’s why I wanted to try it myself. That’s all this is.” She said, and averted her gaze again.
This isn’t good, she’s cutting off every attempt at me talking to her again…!
“…You’re wrong.” I said with a quiet, but deep voice.
“I’m wrong? In what way?”
“It’s true that I went on a date with Masamune, but that was solely a type of treatment to fix my gynophobia.”
“Eh…”
“Not to mention, we weren’t just playing around. We also talked about Suzutsuki, and how we could cure her. She offered to help us.”
“……” Konoe directed her face downwards, muttering. “…I see, so it was all just my misunderstanding.”
Once again, silence followed her words. This time, it felt much heavier than before. Even though we’re at the amusement park, it’s no fun at all. The parade seemingly started, as the people in costumes lined up. Yet, the air around us and the bench was cold, and disheartening.
“……”
—Think. What do I want to do? That’s obvious, I want us to make up. I want to get along with Konoe. Over these past two weeks, we tried hard to fix Suzutsuki, but things still stayed awkward between us. If anything, things got worse the more time passed. The reason for all of that was—
“…I’m sorry.”
These words just fell out of my mouth. Because it practically came out of nowhere, Konoe looked at me with a shocked ‘Eh?’. Even so, I continued talking.
“Sorry, Konoe. I forgot the most important thing. Two weeks ago, in that closet, I…forcefully kissed you. And yet, I didn’t even try to apologize.”
That’s right, I’m the asshole. I’m the despicable bastard. How could I forget about that? Even if I said that it was to protect her secret, I assaulted her like that. Without even considering her own feelings. But, because I would always be reminded of that kiss, I forgot the most important part—to apologize. It’s all my fault that things ended up this awkward. That’s why…
“Sorry, Konoe. If you could forgive me for what I did…could we get along again?” I asked, my voice quivering in uncertainty.
I had to be the one to make things right, since I caused all of this. So, I have to be the one to create a trigger for us to make up again. Otherwise, what am I even doing with myself!?
“……!”
However, because of the scenery opening up in front of me, all my determination was blown away—Tears. Large, translucent drops of water ran down Konoe Subaru’s cheek, falling to the ground.
“…Dummy.” She muttered with a quivering alto voice, but those words reached me nonetheless. “Dummy. You’re a big dummy, Jirou.” She moved her lips, as I stood there in a daze. “…There’s no way…I could forgive you.” She said, clearly.
“Konoe…”
“Because…you did that to protect my secret, right? If anything, I should be the one to apologize. But, because you kissed me back then, I just felt so embarrassed, I couldn’t think about anything else…”
“……”
“I knew things couldn’t stay like this. I wanted to make up. But, the embarrassment stopped me from apologizing. I couldn’t muster up the courage…”
“……”
“That’s why…I thought some kind of trigger was necessary. I wanted to make up today at this amusement park. But, when I saw you on a date with Usami, my head just turned blank, and I vented out my anger…!”
“……”
Ahh, I see. So I wasn’t the only one who was troubled over this. Konoe also wanted to make up. But, why? We’re finally back on the right track, and yet she’s crying…
“You know—I was happy.” She said, with a weeping voice. “I was really happy to hear that you wanted to make up.”
“……”
“I was worried this entire time. What if we kept going like this, started fighting, and drifted apart? What if we couldn’t stay the way we were before?”
“……”
“That’s why, hearing you say that, I just felt so happy, and relieved, I couldn’t hold back the tears…” She turned towards me, and smiled.
…Thank god. Those are tears of joy. She’s happy that we can make up. And—this makes me happy as well. Not to mention.
“Konoe, stop crying, will you. I get that you’re happy, but it’s not that big of a thing to cry over, right? Here, I’ll wipe off your tears for you.”
“Y-Yeah, thanks.”
I took out a handkerchief to wipe away her tears, to which she showed a bashful smile…Yeah. I’m glad. Getting to see her smile, I feel relieved. Just by seeing her smile, my entire body fills up with warmth. It’s a thousand times better than seeing her cry. I just wanted to stop seeing Konoe’s crying face, and instead wanted her to smile—
“…Ah.”
I get it. Everything makes sense now. Or rather, I just realized it. I found the answer to the question Suzutsuki asked me inside of the gondola—How do I feel about Konoe?
“…Haha.” I couldn’t help but let out a laugh because of how pathetic I was.
It’s weird. Why did I never realize it before? Yeah, it makes sense why Suzutsuki would call me an idiot. How do I feel about Konoe? The answer is simple.
“Waaah!”
There, together with Konoe’s delighted voice, the starry sky lit up—Fireworks. Oh yeah, they did mention they planned some fireworks, I think the pamphlet mentioned that. More and more flowers filled the sky. As if that was the signal, the costume parade started moving. Music started playing in the plaza, enticing even the people watching. So that I wouldn’t lose against the music, I strongly called out to Konoe.
“Konoe.”
“…Yeah? What’s that serious face for, Jirou?” Konoe turned towards me, still in her princess dress.
Her large eyes were looking up at me, as the fireworks emphasized her beautiful features. Facing Konoe, I said the words I wanted to say the most right now.
“I like you.”
×
I know it sounds weird coming from me, but…I really jumped the gun. But, I finally realized my own feelings. I realized that I like Konoe. I don’t want to see her sad, I want to protect her. If it’s possible, I want to always be with her—Stand By Me. I’m sure that these feelings mean that I love Konoe. There’s no mistaking this, for sure.
Thinking about it, this might just be my first love. Until now, because of my gynophobia, I never even thought about coming to love a girl. That’s why this confession came out of nowhere. I didn’t even consider what could happen after this, caused by this.
But…if Konoe agreed, and if we started dating, then…Ahhhh, stop it, I’m getting ahead of myself. Not to mention that Konoe is a crossdressing butler. Even if we started dating, we can’t show that off at school. Either she’ll be found out as a girl, or we’ll be used as BL material. Well, most of that second part would be because of Nakuru.
Before anything though, Konoe’s feelings matter the most. How does she feel about me? Right now, we’re best friends. At the summer festival, she said that she wanted us to be best friends. However, that is different from liking me as a member of the opposite sex. I’m curious.
Maybe that’s why I was rushing this confession. I desperately wanted to know how Konoe feels about me. I wanted to know my position inside Konoe’s heart—
“……”
Konoe seemed to be surprised at my confession. And then, she cast her face down. Night had arrived at the amusement park, and just with the lights around us, I couldn’t fully identify her expression. Silence ensued, filling the air between us. I don’t even know how much time passed, and the fireworks were still filling the skies. Filled with anxiety and expectation, I waited for Konoe’s words.
“…Jirou.” An alto voice reached my ears.
The princess Konoe Subaru called out my name. And then, she raised her head, looking directly at me, as her mouth opened—
At the open plaza in the amusement park, I finally managed to find Konoe, and called out to her.
“…Hm.” Princess-dress Butler-kun turned towards me.
Her expression was clearly filled with displeasure. I knew it, she’s still hung up on that whole incident with Masamune.
“What is it? Were you ordered by the young lady to participate as well?”
“No, if anything, she said…”
“What?”
“…Well, she said we could just skip the parade.”
“……”
Silence. An awkward silence filled the space between us…Come on, say something, me. Are you just going to stay quiet now? Just deal with the embarrassment, and talk with her.
“……”
I can’t. Everytime I look at Konoe’s face, the scenery of our kiss in that closet comes playing back in my head. What is this, why can’t I just let go of that? What is going on, this is almost like—
“…Alright.” The one to break the silence was Konoe.
With her translucent eyes, she looked directly at me.
“Jirou, I have a request, can I?”
“A request?”
“…Yeah.” Konoe faintly bit her lips in embarrassment.
And then, like she tried her hardest to form those words.
“I want you—to go on a date with me.”
×
“H-Hey, I bought it for you.”
“…Yeah, thanks.”
Konoe sat on a bench located near the open plaza, and I just returned with two crepes I bought.
“Have a seat, Jirou.”
“Y-Yeah.”
We exchanged a few awkward words, and I sat down next to Konoe. This is a date. A date with the Subaru-sama. To people from the Subaru-sama Fanclub, like Nakuru, this would be one hell of a sight. And if Kureha saw us like this, I’d probably see hell myself. However…
“T-This is pretty good.”
“…Yeah, you’re right.”
As before, no coherent conversation happened, as everything was awkward. Also, it’s clearly my fault. I don’t know why, but I just feel so nervous. I saw no other option, so I gulped down some of the crepe, to which a sweet taste of honey filled my mouth. Can’t even tell if it’s delicious or not.
This is weird. Something’s wrong about this. Not to mention Derechuki-san’s words that still flew around inside my head—You understand yourself this much, and you still haven’t caught on to your own feelings?
“………”
Just worrying about it wouldn’t do me any good, so I thought about the words I said back then. Suzutsuki asked me ‘How do you feel about Subaru?’, and I said that I didn’t want to see her crying face. That’s why, that’s what I swore back in April. Stand By Me. I wanted to say that to her. That’s why…
“…Konoe.”
As the plaza was growing noisy with all the other people wearing costumes, I broke the silence between the two of us.
“Why did you invite me out on a date?”
“…Hmpf.” Konoe stopped munching on her crepe, and grew silent.
Another short pause followed, until…
“Because you went on a date with Usami, right?”
“What?”
“L-Like I said! When we were walking through the haunted house, you were having fun with Usami, right! That was a date, wasn’t it. That’s why I wanted to try it myself. That’s all this is.” She said, and averted her gaze again.
This isn’t good, she’s cutting off every attempt at me talking to her again…!
“…You’re wrong.” I said with a quiet, but deep voice.
“I’m wrong? In what way?”
“It’s true that I went on a date with Masamune, but that was solely a type of treatment to fix my gynophobia.”
“Eh…”
“Not to mention, we weren’t just playing around. We also talked about Suzutsuki, and how we could cure her. She offered to help us.”
“……” Konoe directed her face downwards, muttering. “…I see, so it was all just my misunderstanding.”
Once again, silence followed her words. This time, it felt much heavier than before. Even though we’re at the amusement park, it’s no fun at all. The parade seemingly started, as the people in costumes lined up. Yet, the air around us and the bench was cold, and disheartening.
“……”
—Think. What do I want to do? That’s obvious, I want us to make up. I want to get along with Konoe. Over these past two weeks, we tried hard to fix Suzutsuki, but things still stayed awkward between us. If anything, things got worse the more time passed. The reason for all of that was—
“…I’m sorry.”
These words just fell out of my mouth. Because it practically came out of nowhere, Konoe looked at me with a shocked ‘Eh?’. Even so, I continued talking.
“Sorry, Konoe. I forgot the most important thing. Two weeks ago, in that closet, I…forcefully kissed you. And yet, I didn’t even try to apologize.”
That’s right, I’m the asshole. I’m the despicable bastard. How could I forget about that? Even if I said that it was to protect her secret, I assaulted her like that. Without even considering her own feelings. But, because I would always be reminded of that kiss, I forgot the most important part—to apologize. It’s all my fault that things ended up this awkward. That’s why…
“Sorry, Konoe. If you could forgive me for what I did…could we get along again?” I asked, my voice quivering in uncertainty.
I had to be the one to make things right, since I caused all of this. So, I have to be the one to create a trigger for us to make up again. Otherwise, what am I even doing with myself!?
“……!”
However, because of the scenery opening up in front of me, all my determination was blown away—Tears. Large, translucent drops of water ran down Konoe Subaru’s cheek, falling to the ground.
“…Dummy.” She muttered with a quivering alto voice, but those words reached me nonetheless. “Dummy. You’re a big dummy, Jirou.” She moved her lips, as I stood there in a daze. “…There’s no way…I could forgive you.” She said, clearly.
“Konoe…”
“Because…you did that to protect my secret, right? If anything, I should be the one to apologize. But, because you kissed me back then, I just felt so embarrassed, I couldn’t think about anything else…”
“……”
“I knew things couldn’t stay like this. I wanted to make up. But, the embarrassment stopped me from apologizing. I couldn’t muster up the courage…”
“……”
“That’s why…I thought some kind of trigger was necessary. I wanted to make up today at this amusement park. But, when I saw you on a date with Usami, my head just turned blank, and I vented out my anger…!”
“……”
Ahh, I see. So I wasn’t the only one who was troubled over this. Konoe also wanted to make up. But, why? We’re finally back on the right track, and yet she’s crying…
“You know—I was happy.” She said, with a weeping voice. “I was really happy to hear that you wanted to make up.”
“……”
“I was worried this entire time. What if we kept going like this, started fighting, and drifted apart? What if we couldn’t stay the way we were before?”
“……”
“That’s why, hearing you say that, I just felt so happy, and relieved, I couldn’t hold back the tears…” She turned towards me, and smiled.
…Thank god. Those are tears of joy. She’s happy that we can make up. And—this makes me happy as well. Not to mention.
“Konoe, stop crying, will you. I get that you’re happy, but it’s not that big of a thing to cry over, right? Here, I’ll wipe off your tears for you.”
“Y-Yeah, thanks.”
I took out a handkerchief to wipe away her tears, to which she showed a bashful smile…Yeah. I’m glad. Getting to see her smile, I feel relieved. Just by seeing her smile, my entire body fills up with warmth. It’s a thousand times better than seeing her cry. I just wanted to stop seeing Konoe’s crying face, and instead wanted her to smile—
“…Ah.”
I get it. Everything makes sense now. Or rather, I just realized it. I found the answer to the question Suzutsuki asked me inside of the gondola—How do I feel about Konoe?
“…Haha.” I couldn’t help but let out a laugh because of how pathetic I was.
It’s weird. Why did I never realize it before? Yeah, it makes sense why Suzutsuki would call me an idiot. How do I feel about Konoe? The answer is simple.
“Waaah!”
There, together with Konoe’s delighted voice, the starry sky lit up—Fireworks. Oh yeah, they did mention they planned some fireworks, I think the pamphlet mentioned that. More and more flowers filled the sky. As if that was the signal, the costume parade started moving. Music started playing in the plaza, enticing even the people watching. So that I wouldn’t lose against the music, I strongly called out to Konoe.
“Konoe.”
“…Yeah? What’s that serious face for, Jirou?” Konoe turned towards me, still in her princess dress.
Her large eyes were looking up at me, as the fireworks emphasized her beautiful features. Facing Konoe, I said the words I wanted to say the most right now.
“I like you.”
×
I know it sounds weird coming from me, but…I really jumped the gun. But, I finally realized my own feelings. I realized that I like Konoe. I don’t want to see her sad, I want to protect her. If it’s possible, I want to always be with her—Stand By Me. I’m sure that these feelings mean that I love Konoe. There’s no mistaking this, for sure.
Thinking about it, this might just be my first love. Until now, because of my gynophobia, I never even thought about coming to love a girl. That’s why this confession came out of nowhere. I didn’t even consider what could happen after this, caused by this.
But…if Konoe agreed, and if we started dating, then…Ahhhh, stop it, I’m getting ahead of myself. Not to mention that Konoe is a crossdressing butler. Even if we started dating, we can’t show that off at school. Either she’ll be found out as a girl, or we’ll be used as BL material. Well, most of that second part would be because of Nakuru.
Before anything though, Konoe’s feelings matter the most. How does she feel about me? Right now, we’re best friends. At the summer festival, she said that she wanted us to be best friends. However, that is different from liking me as a member of the opposite sex. I’m curious.
Maybe that’s why I was rushing this confession. I desperately wanted to know how Konoe feels about me. I wanted to know my position inside Konoe’s heart—
“……”
Konoe seemed to be surprised at my confession. And then, she cast her face down. Night had arrived at the amusement park, and just with the lights around us, I couldn’t fully identify her expression. Silence ensued, filling the air between us. I don’t even know how much time passed, and the fireworks were still filling the skies. Filled with anxiety and expectation, I waited for Konoe’s words.
“…Jirou.” An alto voice reached my ears.
The princess Konoe Subaru called out my name. And then, she raised her head, looking directly at me, as her mouth opened—
RECENTLY UPDATES
Action
Action
Eastern
Contemporary Romance
Action
Action
Contemporary Romance
Eastern