Volume 11 - CH 1
This might be a bit sudden, but I don’t particularly like hospitals. Be it the smell, the atmosphere, or the lonesome air going around, I never liked it. Well, anybody who goes around saying ‘I love hospitals’ probably has a screw loose. But, whether you like it or not, there are times when you have to go there.
“Then, please take care.”
With this template phrase, I was sent away by the doctor, leaving the room. Looking at my left hand while walking down the hallway, I saw a fresh white bandage wrapped around it. According to the doctor, the cut was fairly deep, but nothing that would require me to be hospitalized. Of course, I had to make up a lie along the lines of ‘I accidentally cut my hand with a kitchen knife’, but it seems like that worked.
I mean, no way could I tell them that I was threatened with a knife, while trying to break into a room in my apartment building. As for the reason why I suffered this injury…
“Odd Jobs-san, are you done already?” An emotionless robotic voice reverberated inside the hallway.
Looking over, she sat on a long chair in the waiting area, still wearing her eyepatch with an unfitting maid uniform—Saotome Ichigo. She is working as the maid of the Suzutsuki family, and the person who originally pointed the knife at me.
“How are your injuries?”
“It’s fine. Wasn’t that big of a deal after all.” I faintly waved my hand at her to show.
In fact, the pain wasn’t as bad as it may seem like. At least not compared to all the hellish training I went through with Mom and my little sister ever since I was five. Getting hit by a truck before was much worse.
“What, so I probably didn’t have to accompany you.”
“Um, you’re the reason I ended up with this injury in the first place, remember…”
“YES. I’m sorry. But, you’re partially to blame as well. I didn’t expect you to grab my knife like that.”
“Well, not wrong.”
“If Subaru hadn’t stopped me, I surely would have sent you off to the hospital.”
“I’m already here, remember?”
Did she forget that this is a hospital? Maybe she’s just shocked herself.
“NO. I say hospital, but it’s not what I was talking about.”
“So what was it then?”
“A morgue.”
“That means you were planning on killing me, right!?”
“Then, a doctor for your head?”
“How were you planning on sending me there!?”
“First, I would have made you unable to say anything except the words ‘panties’ ‘naked’ and ‘grade schooler backpack’. Then, he’ll surely admit you to a hospital.”
You’re treating me like a disabled person now.
“Leaving aside the jokes, be thankful to Kanade-ojousama. Thanks to her, you even got an appointment this quickly.”
“I know that.”
Looking at the clock hanging in the hallway, I saw that it was already past 9pm. Visiting times were clearly over. However, using the connections of her family, Suzutsuki got me an appointment. If anything, the reason Ichigo-san accompanied me is because Suzutsuki told her to.
“……”
That’s right, Suzutsuki did. She’s one of the reasons why I even suffered from this injury in the first place. It was all so that I could get into her room, and have a chance at talking with her. However, the words I got back from her caught me off-guard.
—I love you!
While shedding tears, these were the words she told me. It was a confession, without a doubt. It sounded different from her usual nonsense, like it came from the bottom of her heart.
“What’s wrong, Odd Jobs-san, your expression looks a bit complicated. Does it hurt after all?”
“No, not exactly…”
In fact, my left hand was still hurting a bit, but I personally didn’t care about that. Suzutsuki’s confession just came out of nowhere, I simply didn’t know how to react. We’re talking about that Suzutsuki Kanade after all. I mean, just what does she like about me? We’re clearly not a good match. What was the whole reason behind the Suzutsuki Revolution then? I mean, Konoe is a girl, but still.
Still, surprisingly enough, Suzutsuki isn’t the only one who confessed to me. There’s also Usami Masamune. She said that she has feelings for me too…What even is this situation? To think I’d be confessed to by two girls in such a short time. I wouldn’t be surprised if I found hints about this on the Mayan calendar, that’s how big of an event it is.
Because of my gynophobia, a condition I was given by my family, I never really had the possibility to get involved with girls, so I don’t have any experience with such a sweet event. But, there’s one thing even I understand. Being confessed to, I have to properly reply.
“You might be worrying about something, but sometimes it’s best to not think about it too deeply. Doesn’t fit you.”
“Mind your own business, will you. What are you even doing, hm?” I stopped my thoughts, and asked her.
After all, she hasn’t looked at me once, and only gazed down at her hands. There, she had a pink lump of thread.
“Are you making a sweater?
“YES. It’s almost Christmas, so I’m making a present.”
“Huh~ For Suzutsuki, I’m assuming?”
“Exactly. I’m surprised you knew, Odd Jobs-san.”
“Well…”
I didn’t know how to respond, so I simply averted my gaze. I mean, she wrote [KANADE LOVE!] on it, so it was sort-of obvious. This sweater is like a love letter, so I’d be shocked if it wasn’t for Suzutsuki.
“Sewing is good. Calms me down.”
“Oh yeah, you liked all this handicraft work, right.”
“NO. Not like, I love it.”
“And yet your club’s activities are an absolute mess.”
With the whole ranking matches, hunting bears during Golden Week, going to an inhabited island during summer break…It really doesn’t sound like a handicrafts club.
“I told you before, but that’s because of Schrö. She turned the handicrafts club into some military company. As long as I can do my sewing, I’m fine.” So she said, and continued working on the sweater with robotic and precise movement.
She’s made some good progress, so she should be able to make it in time for Christmas. With all of this happening, October had ended. We made it to December, and reached winter break. Still…Christmas break, huh. Thinking about it, every year on Christmas was like hell. Kureha would scream ‘Merry Christmas!’, while pulling a moonsault press on me. Nothing’s merry about this. If Santa saw this, he’d retire immediately.
“By the way, don’t tell the lady about this. It’s supposed to be a surprise present.”
“I understand. But, isn’t making a whole sweater a lot of work?”
“YES. I had to look into Kanade-ojousama’s three sizes after all.”
“……”
What am I even supposed to say here? First of all, how did you figure out her three sizes? While she was sleeping? Also, you don’t need her three sizes for a sweater. You only need bust and waist. Why the hips?
“By the way, I also have a present for Odd Jobs-san in the works.”
“Huh?” I was surprised.
However, she fully ignored my confusion, and pointed at a plastic bag next to her. Out of that appeared a long, soft object…W-Wait, this is…!
“A scarf…?”
“YES. I practiced a bit before making a sweater, and tried making it.” Ichigo-san said, and passed it to me.
Woah, it’s so warm. She might have actually used some expensive material for it. Hmm…she said it was for practice, but I don’t know how to feel about it…
“…Hm?”
What’s this. There’s some letters engraved into it. Did she write [SAKAMACHI LOVE!] by any chance? I checked, only to find…[SAKAMACHE DEATH!].
“Why are you cursing me!?”
“Eh, I just wrote [Sakamache Yes], right?”
“The Yes turned into Death, okay!”
“I thought of putting it on with a punk rock feeling.”
“Far too punk!”
Not even some death metal band would wear this kind of scarf. It’s more like a threat than a present.
“Also, you wrote my name wrong.”
“In what way?”
“SAKAMACHE…”
“Wasn’t your name Sakamache Kinjirou?”
“I never heard a family name like that!”
“Didn’t you say ‘My name is Sakamache Kinjioru! Check it out!’?”
“Don’t change my character like that…”
What kind of rapper am I? I don’t remember declaring myself to be into hip-hop.
“It’s fine, I can guarantee that it feels good on you.”
“Eh, ah, wait…!”
Once again, Ichigo-san ignored my words, and wrapped the scarf around my neck. Oh man, it really feels warm. That’s Rouran Academy handicraft club’s president for you, she knows her work. Not to mention that she even put it on for me. She may be an expressionless robot, but she has her kind side…
“By the way.”
There, Ichigo-san suddenly spoke up, while holding the scarf around my neck.
“What did you talk about with Kanade-ojousama?”
“……” I went silent.
I can’t ever tell her. After all, Suzutsuki confessed to me. If the maid who loves Suzutsuki knows about this, she’ll definitely bring me to a morgue…Wait?
“I-Ichigo-san? Aren’t you putting a bit too much strength on your grip?”
“YES. I’m strangling you.”
“……”
…This is bad. The hallway of the hospital suddenly turned into an interrogation room. Also, this is terrifying. Never have I seen somebody use a scarf as a strangling object. Where did she learn about this? At this rate, [SAKAMACHE DEATH!] will happen for good.
“L-Let go! I can’t die here!”
“Rest assured, the preparations are completed.”
“…Preparations?”
“This is a hospital. Even if you die, you can be revived.”
“I’m not calm about this at all, okay!?”
Waaaaah, big trouble captain! Her eyes are dead serious! If you looked up [Yandere] on Ni*oNico Douga, this is the face that would pop up.
“Urk…”
Did she sense that something happened between me and Suzutsuki? I don’t think she was listening in on us, so it must be her intuition as a maid? If not, then she probably wouldn’t go this far.
“Now, answer me. What were you talking about with Kanade-ojousama?” Ichigo-san asked once again, tightly grasping the scarf.
T-This damn yandere maid…! Did she knit a scarf just for this!? If so, then I might actually feel a bit bashful. Of course, she’s using this LOVE not for me, but for Suzutsuki Kanade. Anyway, I need to get out of this situation, or else…
“…What are you two folks doing here?” An annoyed voice rang out.
For a moment, I thought I had heard the voice of an angel, but an angel wouldn’t use such a rough tone, and they sure as hell wouldn’t have this kind of anime voice.
“It says right here. ‘Please keep it down in the hallway!’, right? Even if Christmas is close, you shouldn’t get too excited here.”
“Hmpf…” Ichigo-san finally softened her grip on the scarf.
…I’m saved. Naturally, I know the owner of this voice—Narumi Schrödinger. She is the famous vice president of Rouran Academy’s handicrafts club. No clue why she’s here, but I’m at least thankful that she saved me. I turned towards the girl, and—There stood Santa Claus. Or rather, it was Schrö-senpai wearing a Santa costume.
“……” I was at a loss for words.
Weird. Maybe my brain is still feeling numb from the strangling, because there’s no way I would have such a surreal hallucination.
“Schrö, why are you looking like that? You’re clearly the most excited out of all of us.”
“S-Shut up! There’s a reason as to why I’m wearing these clothes!”
A maid and person in Santa costume were having an argument in the hospital hallway. What a sight this is. Maybe a nurse will be joining us soon.
“The thing is, we’re having a party at home.”
“A party?” Ichigo-san asked, confused, but I figured out the reason immediately.
It’s probably a party to cheer up my little sister because of her broken heart. Today, Sakamachi Kureha was rejected. Schrö-senpai probably wanted to cheer her up for that. Maybe they pulled the Christmas party ahead?
“So, as the senior, I was doing my best to get the party booming, which led to this.”
“You’re as energetic as always…Where did you even bring out these clothes from?”
“We had them at home. My family is a toy maker, remember? We had some Santa costumes for a previous campaign.”
“But why wear that?”
“What’s it matter? Both Kureha and Nakuru were happy, you know?”
“Well, it does look good on you…”
The Santa uniform was a perfect fit on Schrö-senpai’s body. It was red, looked fluffy, and added to her already energetic atmosphere. On top of that, she wore a miniskirt, making her look like a mini Santa. Narumi Schrödinger is the mini Santa.
“……”
Merry Christmas indeed. That’s what I chanted inside of my head. The destructive power is no joke, seriously. If I knew that Schrö-senpai brought my Christmas presents, I definitely wouldn’t be able to sleep. If anything, I’d just run my mouth with ‘Can I just have you as my present?’.
“Schrö, why are you here.”
“Huh? ‘Cause of your master, of course.”
“Kanade-ojousama’s orders?”
“Yup. Right as I was having fun at the party, she sent me a mail, saying ‘Jirou-kun got hurt, so can you look after him at the hospital?’, you know.”
“Urk…That’s Kanade-ojousama for you…” Ichigo-san bit her lip.
At the same time, I sighed in relief. She probably sent Schrö-senpai here as a countermeasure against Ichigo-san. Another member of the handicraft club would be necessary to keep her under control, so she sent an SOS to her. That’s Suzutsuki for you, she knows how to provide some proper service.
“Still, that surprised me.” There, Schrö-senpai suddenly put her hand on her chin. “To think you two had that kind of relationship.”
“……”
Hold on. I feel like she’s having a horrible misunderstanding.
“…Schrö, I can’t ignore that comment.”
“Huh? I mean, you put a scarf around Onii-chan’s neck, right?”
“That isn’t wrong, but…”
“To be perfectly honest, you looked really lovey-dovey.”
“Something is wrong with your eyes. Why not have your little sister pick out some glasses for you?”
“Yeah, I’d rather not. I’m probably going to get glasses this year again from Nakuru. Fake ones, of course. God, she sure has some weird interests…” Santa Claus let out a sigh.
…I feel like that misunderstanding was cleared up fairly quickly. I mean, I’m glad that it did. I really can’t see myself being Ichigo-san’s boyfriend. Just the thought of that gives me shivers.
“That reminds me, you both are fellow third-years, right?”
“Yup. Even in the same class.”
“Huh…”
No clue which class, but their homeroom teacher must be going through a lot of trouble. Having these two in the same class sounds like a solid reason for me to go beg for a different class. Constant stomach pain on the menu, I bet.
“Then again, she rarely comes to school.”
“Can’t help it, I am a maid of the Suzutsuki Family, so I have my duties at the residence.”
“Huh. It’s great to be passionate about your work, but show up for the club activities from time to time. Can’t keep them under control without the president.”
“As long as the vice president is there, everything should be fine. Also, the club activities now are different from what I originally envisioned.”
“Huh? Really?”
“It’s all your fault. Because of you, the club turned into some circus.”
“What’s it matter as long as it’s fun? We do some handicraft work from time to time, you know.”
“And I know you haven’t improved at all since you joined the club. Even though you’re the vice president.”
“S-S-Shut up! I was always bad with that sort of stuff! I was never good with small and fine work!”
“Then why did you join the handicrafts club…”
Go, tell her more, Ichigo-san. I wholeheartedly agree. No matter how you look at it, Schrö-senpai isn’t cut out for the handicrafts club. She’s a much better fit for the sports-related clubs. Of course, same goes for my little sister.
“But, isn’t it fine as long as you’re having fun? You two seem fairly close at least.”
As club president and vice president, their exchanges are friendly. I’ve never seen Ichigo-san talking this much to anybody but Suzutsuki or her other servants.
“…We’re not that close.”
“Eh? Really?”
“Hey now, don’t be so down about it, Ichigo. We’re besties, right?”
“Besties? I call you a rotten connection.”
“Hmm…well, we’ve been in the same class since our second year. Ahh, so many good memories.”
“…So many?” I blurted out a question.
Now I’m a bit curious about their past together. Maybe then I would be able to grasp the truth of this cursed club. No, I actually really don’t want to know.
“Ohh, great question, Onii-chan. The moving encounter between the two of us is a blockbuster.”
“Are you sure about that…”
“Basically, it fills around 40 pages of a novel.”
“Now that is something I want to avoid.”
“Well, I can’t give you the full details now. But, my number one impression is when Ichigo was doing some handicraft work after classes on the day we met…”
“Handicraft work?”
Huh, that’s a bit unexpected. To think there was such a memory between them. I’m actually getting emotional right now…
“It sure was crazy back then. She half destroyed the home economics room.”
“……”
Oh lord, this isn’t moving at all. I’m just shocked now. And, how could you even achieve something like this?
“Well, that’s how Ichigo and I became friends.”
“Judging from what you just told me, it sure didn’t seem that way.”
“‘Course not. As proof of that, we sometimes head out to have fun.”
“Have fun…”
“For example, karaoke.”
“That really is normal!”
But, is this really fine? I feel like they might get banned from the karaoke box. If I was the employee, I’d put them on the blacklist.
“Well, at karaoke, Ichigo only sings the oldest songs. Her sense is quite old school.”
“And you only sing anime songs, Schrö.”
“Hm? Hey now, don’t you dare make fun of anime songs. There are no better songs to get hyped up.”
“You’re the only one who gets excited.”
“!?”
“You’re even recreating the choreography, dancing like an idol, right?”
“S-S-S-Stop that! Don’t reveal my karaoke style! Damn it, even though you’re always singing as well…” Schrö-senpai bit her lip with a sulking tone.
Hmmm, I wonder why, I really feel like seeing Schrö-senpai dancing to anime songs, and Ichigo-san singing her old-school songs. Still these two sure are close, I’m feeling a bit jealous.
“Ah, right.” Ichigo-san sounded like she remembered something, and reached for the bag with the thread inside.
“I also have a present for you, Schrö.”
“Eh!? Seriously!?”
“YES. Just like the scarf, I tried my best making it. It’s an early Christmas present, but…do you want it?”
“H-Hmmm…Well, if you’re that adamant on it, I guess I can take it.”
“You don’t have to go all tsundere now.”
“Shut up! Don’t call me a tsundere! …So, what’s the present?” Schrö-senpai seemed a bit salty, but still asked with a bit of excitement in her voice.
That sight of hers was adorable, and a bit cute. On top of that, the juxtaposition of Santa Claus asking for a present sure was funny.
“Don’t panic, I’m giving it to you right now.” The maid looked through the bag, and what appeared out of it..
—Was a collar. Not to mention one you’d put on a cat or dog.
“………” Santa Claus had her gaze glued to it, not moving an inch.
I guess even she is shocked about that.
“…Just kidding.” Ichigo-san smiled. “That was a joke.” She said with her usual robotic voice, and once again put her hand into the bag.
Now, some gloves appeared. Apparently she really was just joking.
“Ohhh, thanks a bunch, Ichigo!”
“I had some thread leftover, so I made them.”
“More than enough. I’m really happy……But, what’s with these gloves, they have paws.”
“You like cats, right?”
“I sure do, but…Well, as long as it’s cute, nothing else matters! They’re so fluffy as well!”
“By the way, you need to undress while wearing those.”
“Why!?”
“Naked with cat paw gloves…and a collar. Perfect. There’s no better clothes out there. Starting today, you will be Catdinger-san.”
“Who’s that!? Why not have your master wear that for you?”
“H-Have Kanade-ojousama wear that…?”
“Doesn’t have to be with gloves, but like fully naked with a scarf, or with thread wrapped around her.”
“I never even thought about that…Merry Christmas…” Ichigo-san muttered with a devilish smile.
Um, excuse me, can somebody call the nurse? We need to give this maid some treatment quickly. I call it the KANADE disease. It’s a severe disease that slowly makes the mind deteriorate.
“By the way.” There, Schrö-senpai stuffed the gloves into her pocket, and turned towards me. “How are your injuries looking, Onii-chan?”
“Ah, I just cut my palm, so.”
Luckily, it wasn’t that threatening, so it shouldn’t negatively influence my daily life. It does hurt a bit, but I’m used to things on this level thanks to my family.
“Hm, glad to hear that. I was just a bit curious.”
“…Curious?”
“Yeah. After all, I’m sort-of related to it, right?”
“No, that’s not…”
It sort of is true that her words led to me getting injured like this. Specifically, at that shrine, when she screamed at me.
“Don’t worry about it. If anything, I’m thankful. Because of you, I feel like I finally moved forward.”
“R-Really? Then it’s fine.” Schrö-senpai gave a bashful response.
That’s right. It’s thanks to her. Without her words of encouragement, I might have not achieved anything. I probably would have hesitated forever. But, because she gave me an earful…
“Be careful alright, Onii-chan.”
“Eh?”
“Both Kureha and I told you, right…No matter what wall stands ahead of us, we have to keep moving forward. Because…that’s normal. Everybody has to think about that once.”
“……”
“But, not everybody can do it. Thinking about it in your head, and actually executing it in real life are two different things. Be it a child, or an adult, there’s a lot of people who can’t do that, and stay on the ground forever. I bet there’s people who don’t even understand my words.”
“………”
I felt a shiver running down my back. After all, not even a few hours ago, I was exactly that. If you haven’t fallen down once, you probably wouldn’t understand Schrö-senpai’s words. Because I was scolded by her, I was forced to get up, and grasp the meaning behind her words.
“That’s why, make sure you don’t end up that way, you hear me? No matter how lame you may be, you move forward. No matter how people may ridicule you, as long as you’re in the right, you believe in it—” Schrö-senpai showed a bashful smile. “After all, the people who move forward no matter how lame they look—turned out to be the coolest.”
“…Yes, I think so as well.”
Or rather, I started to feel that way. And it’s all thanks to the small but super cool senior of mine. If not for her pushing my back, I surely would have stayed on the ground.
“Hm? Schrö, what did you do to Odd Jobs-san?”
“Hm? Nothing, really. Just breathed some life into him.”
“Breathed some life into him? So, you gave him a deep kiss?”
“Why would you interpret it that way!? Don’t plant nonsense like that!” Schrödinger-san was fuming with anger.
However, because of the costume she was wearing, she didn’t have much impact. Rather, it made her look even more comical. Thinking about it now, she’s cool, but also cute.
“……”
But, I see…It’s Christmas soon. Seeing her appearance, I once again realized that. It’s winter now, that season has arrived upon us. The second term will soon end, with winter break approaching, and then the third term.
“Hm?”
Right as I was lost in thought, a phone noise filled the hallway. It sounded like a familiar tune, but I don’t know the name of the song. I think it’s an old one.
“Ah, a mail from Kanade-ojousama.” Ichigo-san said, taking out her phone.
So that’s her message noise. She really likes Showa songs.
“Ichigo, it’s bad manners to use your phone in the hospital.”
“Sorry, I forgot to turn it off.” She said, and checked her phone screen.
Might be something urgent, who knows. Still, contact from Suzutsuki, huh. My heart started beating, and it most likely is because of that previous incident. Namely, the confession. I was confessed to by her…
“Odd Jobs-san.”
Suddenly, Ichigo-san turned towards me. And then, with not a change in expression she spoke up.
“Go home without me.”
“Eh? You’ll go home ahead?”
We came here with Ichigo-san’s car. Still, this is pretty tough of a distance to walk to get back to the flat…
“NO.”
However, Ichigo-san denied my thoughts.
“I have to return to the residence. That is Kanade-ojousama’s wish.”
“What?”
What’s up with that? So, she’ll leave the flat? Well, originally it’s only been Suzutsuki and Konoe living there.
“That being the case, farewell.” She bluntly started walking with the plastic bag in hand.
But, halfway, she stopped and turned around again.
“Odd Jobs-san.” She called out my name. “Don’t make Kanade-ojousama sad, please.” She left these words behind, and walked away.
For some reason, her back looked a bit defeated.
“Then, please take care.”
With this template phrase, I was sent away by the doctor, leaving the room. Looking at my left hand while walking down the hallway, I saw a fresh white bandage wrapped around it. According to the doctor, the cut was fairly deep, but nothing that would require me to be hospitalized. Of course, I had to make up a lie along the lines of ‘I accidentally cut my hand with a kitchen knife’, but it seems like that worked.
I mean, no way could I tell them that I was threatened with a knife, while trying to break into a room in my apartment building. As for the reason why I suffered this injury…
“Odd Jobs-san, are you done already?” An emotionless robotic voice reverberated inside the hallway.
Looking over, she sat on a long chair in the waiting area, still wearing her eyepatch with an unfitting maid uniform—Saotome Ichigo. She is working as the maid of the Suzutsuki family, and the person who originally pointed the knife at me.
“How are your injuries?”
“It’s fine. Wasn’t that big of a deal after all.” I faintly waved my hand at her to show.
In fact, the pain wasn’t as bad as it may seem like. At least not compared to all the hellish training I went through with Mom and my little sister ever since I was five. Getting hit by a truck before was much worse.
“What, so I probably didn’t have to accompany you.”
“Um, you’re the reason I ended up with this injury in the first place, remember…”
“YES. I’m sorry. But, you’re partially to blame as well. I didn’t expect you to grab my knife like that.”
“Well, not wrong.”
“If Subaru hadn’t stopped me, I surely would have sent you off to the hospital.”
“I’m already here, remember?”
Did she forget that this is a hospital? Maybe she’s just shocked herself.
“NO. I say hospital, but it’s not what I was talking about.”
“So what was it then?”
“A morgue.”
“That means you were planning on killing me, right!?”
“Then, a doctor for your head?”
“How were you planning on sending me there!?”
“First, I would have made you unable to say anything except the words ‘panties’ ‘naked’ and ‘grade schooler backpack’. Then, he’ll surely admit you to a hospital.”
You’re treating me like a disabled person now.
“Leaving aside the jokes, be thankful to Kanade-ojousama. Thanks to her, you even got an appointment this quickly.”
“I know that.”
Looking at the clock hanging in the hallway, I saw that it was already past 9pm. Visiting times were clearly over. However, using the connections of her family, Suzutsuki got me an appointment. If anything, the reason Ichigo-san accompanied me is because Suzutsuki told her to.
“……”
That’s right, Suzutsuki did. She’s one of the reasons why I even suffered from this injury in the first place. It was all so that I could get into her room, and have a chance at talking with her. However, the words I got back from her caught me off-guard.
—I love you!
While shedding tears, these were the words she told me. It was a confession, without a doubt. It sounded different from her usual nonsense, like it came from the bottom of her heart.
“What’s wrong, Odd Jobs-san, your expression looks a bit complicated. Does it hurt after all?”
“No, not exactly…”
In fact, my left hand was still hurting a bit, but I personally didn’t care about that. Suzutsuki’s confession just came out of nowhere, I simply didn’t know how to react. We’re talking about that Suzutsuki Kanade after all. I mean, just what does she like about me? We’re clearly not a good match. What was the whole reason behind the Suzutsuki Revolution then? I mean, Konoe is a girl, but still.
Still, surprisingly enough, Suzutsuki isn’t the only one who confessed to me. There’s also Usami Masamune. She said that she has feelings for me too…What even is this situation? To think I’d be confessed to by two girls in such a short time. I wouldn’t be surprised if I found hints about this on the Mayan calendar, that’s how big of an event it is.
Because of my gynophobia, a condition I was given by my family, I never really had the possibility to get involved with girls, so I don’t have any experience with such a sweet event. But, there’s one thing even I understand. Being confessed to, I have to properly reply.
“You might be worrying about something, but sometimes it’s best to not think about it too deeply. Doesn’t fit you.”
“Mind your own business, will you. What are you even doing, hm?” I stopped my thoughts, and asked her.
After all, she hasn’t looked at me once, and only gazed down at her hands. There, she had a pink lump of thread.
“Are you making a sweater?
“YES. It’s almost Christmas, so I’m making a present.”
“Huh~ For Suzutsuki, I’m assuming?”
“Exactly. I’m surprised you knew, Odd Jobs-san.”
“Well…”
I didn’t know how to respond, so I simply averted my gaze. I mean, she wrote [KANADE LOVE!] on it, so it was sort-of obvious. This sweater is like a love letter, so I’d be shocked if it wasn’t for Suzutsuki.
“Sewing is good. Calms me down.”
“Oh yeah, you liked all this handicraft work, right.”
“NO. Not like, I love it.”
“And yet your club’s activities are an absolute mess.”
With the whole ranking matches, hunting bears during Golden Week, going to an inhabited island during summer break…It really doesn’t sound like a handicrafts club.
“I told you before, but that’s because of Schrö. She turned the handicrafts club into some military company. As long as I can do my sewing, I’m fine.” So she said, and continued working on the sweater with robotic and precise movement.
She’s made some good progress, so she should be able to make it in time for Christmas. With all of this happening, October had ended. We made it to December, and reached winter break. Still…Christmas break, huh. Thinking about it, every year on Christmas was like hell. Kureha would scream ‘Merry Christmas!’, while pulling a moonsault press on me. Nothing’s merry about this. If Santa saw this, he’d retire immediately.
“By the way, don’t tell the lady about this. It’s supposed to be a surprise present.”
“I understand. But, isn’t making a whole sweater a lot of work?”
“YES. I had to look into Kanade-ojousama’s three sizes after all.”
“……”
What am I even supposed to say here? First of all, how did you figure out her three sizes? While she was sleeping? Also, you don’t need her three sizes for a sweater. You only need bust and waist. Why the hips?
“By the way, I also have a present for Odd Jobs-san in the works.”
“Huh?” I was surprised.
However, she fully ignored my confusion, and pointed at a plastic bag next to her. Out of that appeared a long, soft object…W-Wait, this is…!
“A scarf…?”
“YES. I practiced a bit before making a sweater, and tried making it.” Ichigo-san said, and passed it to me.
Woah, it’s so warm. She might have actually used some expensive material for it. Hmm…she said it was for practice, but I don’t know how to feel about it…
“…Hm?”
What’s this. There’s some letters engraved into it. Did she write [SAKAMACHI LOVE!] by any chance? I checked, only to find…[SAKAMACHE DEATH!].
“Why are you cursing me!?”
“Eh, I just wrote [Sakamache Yes], right?”
“The Yes turned into Death, okay!”
“I thought of putting it on with a punk rock feeling.”
“Far too punk!”
Not even some death metal band would wear this kind of scarf. It’s more like a threat than a present.
“Also, you wrote my name wrong.”
“In what way?”
“SAKAMACHE…”
“Wasn’t your name Sakamache Kinjirou?”
“I never heard a family name like that!”
“Didn’t you say ‘My name is Sakamache Kinjioru! Check it out!’?”
“Don’t change my character like that…”
What kind of rapper am I? I don’t remember declaring myself to be into hip-hop.
“It’s fine, I can guarantee that it feels good on you.”
“Eh, ah, wait…!”
Once again, Ichigo-san ignored my words, and wrapped the scarf around my neck. Oh man, it really feels warm. That’s Rouran Academy handicraft club’s president for you, she knows her work. Not to mention that she even put it on for me. She may be an expressionless robot, but she has her kind side…
“By the way.”
There, Ichigo-san suddenly spoke up, while holding the scarf around my neck.
“What did you talk about with Kanade-ojousama?”
“……” I went silent.
I can’t ever tell her. After all, Suzutsuki confessed to me. If the maid who loves Suzutsuki knows about this, she’ll definitely bring me to a morgue…Wait?
“I-Ichigo-san? Aren’t you putting a bit too much strength on your grip?”
“YES. I’m strangling you.”
“……”
…This is bad. The hallway of the hospital suddenly turned into an interrogation room. Also, this is terrifying. Never have I seen somebody use a scarf as a strangling object. Where did she learn about this? At this rate, [SAKAMACHE DEATH!] will happen for good.
“L-Let go! I can’t die here!”
“Rest assured, the preparations are completed.”
“…Preparations?”
“This is a hospital. Even if you die, you can be revived.”
“I’m not calm about this at all, okay!?”
Waaaaah, big trouble captain! Her eyes are dead serious! If you looked up [Yandere] on Ni*oNico Douga, this is the face that would pop up.
“Urk…”
Did she sense that something happened between me and Suzutsuki? I don’t think she was listening in on us, so it must be her intuition as a maid? If not, then she probably wouldn’t go this far.
“Now, answer me. What were you talking about with Kanade-ojousama?” Ichigo-san asked once again, tightly grasping the scarf.
T-This damn yandere maid…! Did she knit a scarf just for this!? If so, then I might actually feel a bit bashful. Of course, she’s using this LOVE not for me, but for Suzutsuki Kanade. Anyway, I need to get out of this situation, or else…
“…What are you two folks doing here?” An annoyed voice rang out.
For a moment, I thought I had heard the voice of an angel, but an angel wouldn’t use such a rough tone, and they sure as hell wouldn’t have this kind of anime voice.
“It says right here. ‘Please keep it down in the hallway!’, right? Even if Christmas is close, you shouldn’t get too excited here.”
“Hmpf…” Ichigo-san finally softened her grip on the scarf.
…I’m saved. Naturally, I know the owner of this voice—Narumi Schrödinger. She is the famous vice president of Rouran Academy’s handicrafts club. No clue why she’s here, but I’m at least thankful that she saved me. I turned towards the girl, and—There stood Santa Claus. Or rather, it was Schrö-senpai wearing a Santa costume.
“……” I was at a loss for words.
Weird. Maybe my brain is still feeling numb from the strangling, because there’s no way I would have such a surreal hallucination.
“Schrö, why are you looking like that? You’re clearly the most excited out of all of us.”
“S-Shut up! There’s a reason as to why I’m wearing these clothes!”
A maid and person in Santa costume were having an argument in the hospital hallway. What a sight this is. Maybe a nurse will be joining us soon.
“The thing is, we’re having a party at home.”
“A party?” Ichigo-san asked, confused, but I figured out the reason immediately.
It’s probably a party to cheer up my little sister because of her broken heart. Today, Sakamachi Kureha was rejected. Schrö-senpai probably wanted to cheer her up for that. Maybe they pulled the Christmas party ahead?
“So, as the senior, I was doing my best to get the party booming, which led to this.”
“You’re as energetic as always…Where did you even bring out these clothes from?”
“We had them at home. My family is a toy maker, remember? We had some Santa costumes for a previous campaign.”
“But why wear that?”
“What’s it matter? Both Kureha and Nakuru were happy, you know?”
“Well, it does look good on you…”
The Santa uniform was a perfect fit on Schrö-senpai’s body. It was red, looked fluffy, and added to her already energetic atmosphere. On top of that, she wore a miniskirt, making her look like a mini Santa. Narumi Schrödinger is the mini Santa.
“……”
Merry Christmas indeed. That’s what I chanted inside of my head. The destructive power is no joke, seriously. If I knew that Schrö-senpai brought my Christmas presents, I definitely wouldn’t be able to sleep. If anything, I’d just run my mouth with ‘Can I just have you as my present?’.
“Schrö, why are you here.”
“Huh? ‘Cause of your master, of course.”
“Kanade-ojousama’s orders?”
“Yup. Right as I was having fun at the party, she sent me a mail, saying ‘Jirou-kun got hurt, so can you look after him at the hospital?’, you know.”
“Urk…That’s Kanade-ojousama for you…” Ichigo-san bit her lip.
At the same time, I sighed in relief. She probably sent Schrö-senpai here as a countermeasure against Ichigo-san. Another member of the handicraft club would be necessary to keep her under control, so she sent an SOS to her. That’s Suzutsuki for you, she knows how to provide some proper service.
“Still, that surprised me.” There, Schrö-senpai suddenly put her hand on her chin. “To think you two had that kind of relationship.”
“……”
Hold on. I feel like she’s having a horrible misunderstanding.
“…Schrö, I can’t ignore that comment.”
“Huh? I mean, you put a scarf around Onii-chan’s neck, right?”
“That isn’t wrong, but…”
“To be perfectly honest, you looked really lovey-dovey.”
“Something is wrong with your eyes. Why not have your little sister pick out some glasses for you?”
“Yeah, I’d rather not. I’m probably going to get glasses this year again from Nakuru. Fake ones, of course. God, she sure has some weird interests…” Santa Claus let out a sigh.
…I feel like that misunderstanding was cleared up fairly quickly. I mean, I’m glad that it did. I really can’t see myself being Ichigo-san’s boyfriend. Just the thought of that gives me shivers.
“That reminds me, you both are fellow third-years, right?”
“Yup. Even in the same class.”
“Huh…”
No clue which class, but their homeroom teacher must be going through a lot of trouble. Having these two in the same class sounds like a solid reason for me to go beg for a different class. Constant stomach pain on the menu, I bet.
“Then again, she rarely comes to school.”
“Can’t help it, I am a maid of the Suzutsuki Family, so I have my duties at the residence.”
“Huh. It’s great to be passionate about your work, but show up for the club activities from time to time. Can’t keep them under control without the president.”
“As long as the vice president is there, everything should be fine. Also, the club activities now are different from what I originally envisioned.”
“Huh? Really?”
“It’s all your fault. Because of you, the club turned into some circus.”
“What’s it matter as long as it’s fun? We do some handicraft work from time to time, you know.”
“And I know you haven’t improved at all since you joined the club. Even though you’re the vice president.”
“S-S-Shut up! I was always bad with that sort of stuff! I was never good with small and fine work!”
“Then why did you join the handicrafts club…”
Go, tell her more, Ichigo-san. I wholeheartedly agree. No matter how you look at it, Schrö-senpai isn’t cut out for the handicrafts club. She’s a much better fit for the sports-related clubs. Of course, same goes for my little sister.
“But, isn’t it fine as long as you’re having fun? You two seem fairly close at least.”
As club president and vice president, their exchanges are friendly. I’ve never seen Ichigo-san talking this much to anybody but Suzutsuki or her other servants.
“…We’re not that close.”
“Eh? Really?”
“Hey now, don’t be so down about it, Ichigo. We’re besties, right?”
“Besties? I call you a rotten connection.”
“Hmm…well, we’ve been in the same class since our second year. Ahh, so many good memories.”
“…So many?” I blurted out a question.
Now I’m a bit curious about their past together. Maybe then I would be able to grasp the truth of this cursed club. No, I actually really don’t want to know.
“Ohh, great question, Onii-chan. The moving encounter between the two of us is a blockbuster.”
“Are you sure about that…”
“Basically, it fills around 40 pages of a novel.”
“Now that is something I want to avoid.”
“Well, I can’t give you the full details now. But, my number one impression is when Ichigo was doing some handicraft work after classes on the day we met…”
“Handicraft work?”
Huh, that’s a bit unexpected. To think there was such a memory between them. I’m actually getting emotional right now…
“It sure was crazy back then. She half destroyed the home economics room.”
“……”
Oh lord, this isn’t moving at all. I’m just shocked now. And, how could you even achieve something like this?
“Well, that’s how Ichigo and I became friends.”
“Judging from what you just told me, it sure didn’t seem that way.”
“‘Course not. As proof of that, we sometimes head out to have fun.”
“Have fun…”
“For example, karaoke.”
“That really is normal!”
But, is this really fine? I feel like they might get banned from the karaoke box. If I was the employee, I’d put them on the blacklist.
“Well, at karaoke, Ichigo only sings the oldest songs. Her sense is quite old school.”
“And you only sing anime songs, Schrö.”
“Hm? Hey now, don’t you dare make fun of anime songs. There are no better songs to get hyped up.”
“You’re the only one who gets excited.”
“!?”
“You’re even recreating the choreography, dancing like an idol, right?”
“S-S-S-Stop that! Don’t reveal my karaoke style! Damn it, even though you’re always singing as well…” Schrö-senpai bit her lip with a sulking tone.
Hmmm, I wonder why, I really feel like seeing Schrö-senpai dancing to anime songs, and Ichigo-san singing her old-school songs. Still these two sure are close, I’m feeling a bit jealous.
“Ah, right.” Ichigo-san sounded like she remembered something, and reached for the bag with the thread inside.
“I also have a present for you, Schrö.”
“Eh!? Seriously!?”
“YES. Just like the scarf, I tried my best making it. It’s an early Christmas present, but…do you want it?”
“H-Hmmm…Well, if you’re that adamant on it, I guess I can take it.”
“You don’t have to go all tsundere now.”
“Shut up! Don’t call me a tsundere! …So, what’s the present?” Schrö-senpai seemed a bit salty, but still asked with a bit of excitement in her voice.
That sight of hers was adorable, and a bit cute. On top of that, the juxtaposition of Santa Claus asking for a present sure was funny.
“Don’t panic, I’m giving it to you right now.” The maid looked through the bag, and what appeared out of it..
—Was a collar. Not to mention one you’d put on a cat or dog.
“………” Santa Claus had her gaze glued to it, not moving an inch.
I guess even she is shocked about that.
“…Just kidding.” Ichigo-san smiled. “That was a joke.” She said with her usual robotic voice, and once again put her hand into the bag.
Now, some gloves appeared. Apparently she really was just joking.
“Ohhh, thanks a bunch, Ichigo!”
“I had some thread leftover, so I made them.”
“More than enough. I’m really happy……But, what’s with these gloves, they have paws.”
“You like cats, right?”
“I sure do, but…Well, as long as it’s cute, nothing else matters! They’re so fluffy as well!”
“By the way, you need to undress while wearing those.”
“Why!?”
“Naked with cat paw gloves…and a collar. Perfect. There’s no better clothes out there. Starting today, you will be Catdinger-san.”
“Who’s that!? Why not have your master wear that for you?”
“H-Have Kanade-ojousama wear that…?”
“Doesn’t have to be with gloves, but like fully naked with a scarf, or with thread wrapped around her.”
“I never even thought about that…Merry Christmas…” Ichigo-san muttered with a devilish smile.
Um, excuse me, can somebody call the nurse? We need to give this maid some treatment quickly. I call it the KANADE disease. It’s a severe disease that slowly makes the mind deteriorate.
“By the way.” There, Schrö-senpai stuffed the gloves into her pocket, and turned towards me. “How are your injuries looking, Onii-chan?”
“Ah, I just cut my palm, so.”
Luckily, it wasn’t that threatening, so it shouldn’t negatively influence my daily life. It does hurt a bit, but I’m used to things on this level thanks to my family.
“Hm, glad to hear that. I was just a bit curious.”
“…Curious?”
“Yeah. After all, I’m sort-of related to it, right?”
“No, that’s not…”
It sort of is true that her words led to me getting injured like this. Specifically, at that shrine, when she screamed at me.
“Don’t worry about it. If anything, I’m thankful. Because of you, I feel like I finally moved forward.”
“R-Really? Then it’s fine.” Schrö-senpai gave a bashful response.
That’s right. It’s thanks to her. Without her words of encouragement, I might have not achieved anything. I probably would have hesitated forever. But, because she gave me an earful…
“Be careful alright, Onii-chan.”
“Eh?”
“Both Kureha and I told you, right…No matter what wall stands ahead of us, we have to keep moving forward. Because…that’s normal. Everybody has to think about that once.”
“……”
“But, not everybody can do it. Thinking about it in your head, and actually executing it in real life are two different things. Be it a child, or an adult, there’s a lot of people who can’t do that, and stay on the ground forever. I bet there’s people who don’t even understand my words.”
“………”
I felt a shiver running down my back. After all, not even a few hours ago, I was exactly that. If you haven’t fallen down once, you probably wouldn’t understand Schrö-senpai’s words. Because I was scolded by her, I was forced to get up, and grasp the meaning behind her words.
“That’s why, make sure you don’t end up that way, you hear me? No matter how lame you may be, you move forward. No matter how people may ridicule you, as long as you’re in the right, you believe in it—” Schrö-senpai showed a bashful smile. “After all, the people who move forward no matter how lame they look—turned out to be the coolest.”
“…Yes, I think so as well.”
Or rather, I started to feel that way. And it’s all thanks to the small but super cool senior of mine. If not for her pushing my back, I surely would have stayed on the ground.
“Hm? Schrö, what did you do to Odd Jobs-san?”
“Hm? Nothing, really. Just breathed some life into him.”
“Breathed some life into him? So, you gave him a deep kiss?”
“Why would you interpret it that way!? Don’t plant nonsense like that!” Schrödinger-san was fuming with anger.
However, because of the costume she was wearing, she didn’t have much impact. Rather, it made her look even more comical. Thinking about it now, she’s cool, but also cute.
“……”
But, I see…It’s Christmas soon. Seeing her appearance, I once again realized that. It’s winter now, that season has arrived upon us. The second term will soon end, with winter break approaching, and then the third term.
“Hm?”
Right as I was lost in thought, a phone noise filled the hallway. It sounded like a familiar tune, but I don’t know the name of the song. I think it’s an old one.
“Ah, a mail from Kanade-ojousama.” Ichigo-san said, taking out her phone.
So that’s her message noise. She really likes Showa songs.
“Ichigo, it’s bad manners to use your phone in the hospital.”
“Sorry, I forgot to turn it off.” She said, and checked her phone screen.
Might be something urgent, who knows. Still, contact from Suzutsuki, huh. My heart started beating, and it most likely is because of that previous incident. Namely, the confession. I was confessed to by her…
“Odd Jobs-san.”
Suddenly, Ichigo-san turned towards me. And then, with not a change in expression she spoke up.
“Go home without me.”
“Eh? You’ll go home ahead?”
We came here with Ichigo-san’s car. Still, this is pretty tough of a distance to walk to get back to the flat…
“NO.”
However, Ichigo-san denied my thoughts.
“I have to return to the residence. That is Kanade-ojousama’s wish.”
“What?”
What’s up with that? So, she’ll leave the flat? Well, originally it’s only been Suzutsuki and Konoe living there.
“That being the case, farewell.” She bluntly started walking with the plastic bag in hand.
But, halfway, she stopped and turned around again.
“Odd Jobs-san.” She called out my name. “Don’t make Kanade-ojousama sad, please.” She left these words behind, and walked away.
For some reason, her back looked a bit defeated.
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