Volume 12 - CH 1
“Things have turned wild, haven’t they Jirou-kun.”
Inside the newly-built Sakamachi Household, surrounded by the new and fresh scent of wood, the girl—Suzutsuki Kanade—spoke up. She’s the single daughter of Private Rouran Academy’s board chairman, a perfect rich and noble lady. At the same time, she was Konoe Subaru’s—the girl I proposed to—master.
“Even I was surprised at that. To think you’d propose in front of the entire student body.” Suzutsuki said with a somewhat serious tone.
She’s right, today at the opening ceremony, I proposed to Konoe, because she had decided to give up on her dream…namely to be a butler for the Suzutsuki Family…because she accepted my confession. That’s why I said I would become a butler of the Suzutsuki Family in her stead…
“But, my lady, is this really okay? We just went home early from school…” A familiar alto voice spoke up next to me.
Naturally, this voice belonged to none other than Konoe Subaru. She’s the crossdressing butler of the Suzutsuki Family…or wait, no. She declared that she’s a girl in front of the entire student body, so that’s not the case anymore. On a side note, it was currently 11am in the morning.
After the incident at the opening ceremony, Suzutsuki pulled me and Konoe off the stage, and urged us to come to my home like this. At the same time, Masamune isn’t here either. According to what Suzutsuki told me, she went home right after the ceremony. She’s probably at her flat right now…
“Can you blame me? The plan was for homeroom to happen after the ceremony, and then we could go home. But, if you two participated in homeroom, it’d cause a ruckus.”
“Well, you’re not wrong…” Konoe nodded, sounding nervous.
I can’t blame her. Today, she nodded to my words, and declared that she’d quit as Suzutsuki’s butler. However, that is simply her opinion. I still have to hear my answer.
“—Suzutsuki.” I called out her name. “Please, tell me. Will you make me your butler?”
“……”
Silence followed, as I simply waited for her response.
“No can do. There’s no way I can accept that.”
“……!” I swallowed my breath at that response.
But, I guess this response was to be expected. A butler is a special existence for Suzutsuki, and although we may be friends, there’s no way she could just…
“I mean, if you became my family’s butler…Everything would be boring, right?”
“…Excuse me?”
“Think about it. If you were to become my butler, that would mean you’d go and get married to Subaru, right? In other words, you would marry into her family. Then, your name would change from Sakamachi Kinjirou to Konoe Kinjirou.”
“……”
Now hold on. This is the reason she doesn’t want me to become her butler…?
“And then, I can’t make fun of you for being a ‘Chicken’ anymore.”
“Are you kidding me!? What a stupid reason!”
“What are you talking about? With you changing your name and losing the ‘Chicken’, you’ll lose your entire identity.”
“My identity isn’t that shallow!”
“Really? Sakama Chicken Jirou-kun.”
“Don’t emphasize it that way!” I was gasping for air, throwing retorts out like a boxing champion.
However, Suzutsuki simply let out a snicker, as she watched my reactions.
“Well, leaving aside the jokes…as a daughter of the Suzutsuki Family, I shall accept you as my butler.”
“! R-Really!?”
“Of course. You are my friend after all, so I’d be happy to have you as my butler.” She said, and smiled.
…Ahh, I was such an idiot. I guess I’ve been wrong about Suzutsuki this entire time. She might be a sadist, but when her friends are in a pinch, she definitely goes to help them. In the end, she’s just a gentle girl with a somewhat twisted personality.
“That sounds much more interesting to me after all.”
“……”
“Rather, why did I never come up with that before? If I had Jirou-kun as my butler…I could play with him 24/7…How could I have been so blind to that possibility…What a failure on my part.”
“……”
Let me take it back, she’s a devil after all—Devil Suzutsuki. It seems like she’s seeing me as a toy more than a butler. Ahaha, will my life be okay, I wonder? I feel like I’ll be used as a dust cloth or less.
“Jirou-kun, could you stop glaring at my face with such a scary expression? We wouldn’t want any tears.”
“Stop lying, you wouldn’t cry from something like this.”
“? You say some weird stuff. The one who will be crying is you, Jirou-kun.”
“Why!?”
“If you give me such rebellious gazes…I-It makes me want to bully you.”
“No matter how embarrassed you may try to act, you still sound scary!”
“Fufu, what’s the big deal? You rejected my confession, so at least give me this much.”
“…!” I swallowed my breath.
That’s right, with my declaration during today’s entrance ceremony, I basically gave Suzutsuki a response. After all, I proposed to Konoe. In other words…
“But…thanks to that, I feel refreshed.”
“…Eh?”
“I mean, the best I can do is give up, right? I didn’t expect you to propose in front of the entire student body. If you do something so bold for Subaru, I can only give up on you.”
“Suzutsuki…”
“Fufu, don’t give me such an apologetic gaze. What you did was the right choice. At the very least, that’s what I think. After all, I like all those honest parts about you. Subaru, you should be happy.” Suzutsuki called out to Konoe, who had her face cast down.
“My lady…”
“Subaru, stop calling me that way. You revealed your true sex to everyone in front of the school today. That’s why, you’re not my butler anymore. Simply call me ‘Kana-chan’.”
“…Ah.” Konoe’s head shot up. “…Yeah, sorry, Kana-chan.”
“Don’t apologize. We’re still friends, okay?”
“…Thank you, Kana-chan.”
“Fufu, likewise. Thanks for calling me Kana-chan, Subaru.”
They both smiled at each other…I’m glad. I was worried that their friendship would break apart because Konoe accepted my confession. Before being master and butler, these two are meant to be friends after all.
“By the way, Subaru, there is one thing I’d like to tell you.”
“Hm? What is it?” Konoe tilted her head like a small animal, seeming confused.
Suzutsuki went silent for a moment, and then spoke up with a smile.
“Why are you and Jirou-kun not flirting around?”
“……”
Now hold on a second. What is this woman talking about, completely out of the blue?
“K-Kana-chan? Um, I don’t think I can quite follow…”
“You don’t have to hold back, you know? You and Jirou-kun have become a fully-fledged couple, so you should be a lot more lovey-dovey.”
“B-But, even if you suddenly tell me that…” Subaru-sama blushed furiously.
I don’t blame her. Suzutsuki is a bit more open about that sort of stuff. She’s forgetting that she can’t flirt around with me in front of somebody else…
“Please, Subaru, this is for my sake, so that I get over my feelings for Jirou-kun.”
“Eh…”
“I said what I said before, but…I’m still a girl. I might just never be able to get over Jirou-kun. That’s why, if I see you two acting like lovers, I can put a clean end to my feelings.”
“Kana-chan…” Konoe put one hand on her chest. “…Okay. For your sake, I’ll be lovey-dovey with Jirou!”
“Fufu, that’s the Subaru I know and love. Thank you.”
Konoe suddenly sounded awfully motivated, but Suzutsuki was showing an eerie grin…This is bad. That Suzutsuki, she’s clearly enjoying this situation, yeah. She just wants to sit at the front line and see me and Konoe embarrassed. Enjoying herself is her utmost priority in life after all.
“Hey, Suzutsuki, you keep it down a bit.”
“My, that hurts. I was just rejected, you know?”
“Urk…You love bringing that up, huh…”
“Fufu. Also, you’ll become my butler, right? Then, you have to listen to my orders.” She said, showing an angelic and innocent smile.
Ugh…I don’t want to admit it, but her smile really is adorable. With just that, I don’t think I could go against any kind of order she’d give me…
“Now then, it’s lovey-dovey time~” She kept up her smile, and… “I say we start with a kiss.”
“……”
Oh lord, I beg you, please somebody stop this woman. If not, Konoe and I will suffer at the hands of this woman. I mean…a kiss, you know? Doing that in front of Suzutsuki is…
“O-Okay, Kana-chan.”
“!?”
Hearing that voice from next to me completely robbed me of my words. Looking over, Konoe’s facial expression was distorted in embarrassment, and stared at me.
“C-Calm down, Konoe! Don’t fall for her tricks!”
“Hmpf, that’s not the case. She’s doing this for our sake, I’m sure. Not to mention…” She blushed, and continued. “Do you…not want to kiss me?”
“……”
Crap. My girlfriend is way too cute. Waaaah, I can’t say no with that face of hers! It’s killing me softly!
“…Jirou.” She muttered my name, and put her hand on my shoulder.
And then—
“—Mmn.”
Together with an adorable kiss sound, soft lips touched…my cheek.
“……”
…Yeah, I guessed as much. I mean, a kiss on the cheek is already more than enough to get my heart racing, and I could feel my face heating up.
“~~~!”
Konoe seemed to suffer from similar feelings, as she jumped away from me, pressing one hand on her lips as she blushed furiously. But…I wonder why…this reaction made her look even more girly…
“…Alright, well done you two.” Suzutsuki spoke up in the face of us flustered two.
A bit of regret and pain hid in her voice…Well, that’s to be expected. After all, Suzutsuki had feelings for me, so surely she’d be down seeing me flirting with another girl.
“I’m sorry, my camera didn’t capture that too well, so can I ask for another one?”
“What do you mean by camera!?”
When I turned my gaze towards Suzutsuki, I saw a lens pointed at us……Don’t tell me…
“Of course, I went ahead and took pictures of your lovey-dovey scene.”
“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
“Oh my, why are you screaming like that? Since you’re lovers, you should just indulge in that as much as you want. See, like this.”
“Stop! Don’t show me such embarrassing pictures!”
She pointed the camera screen at me, showing me that cheek kiss scene. I-Is she Satan reborn? To think I’d be forced through such humiliation…My heart is going to run out of boost at this rate…
“K-Kana-chan, you don’t have to take pictures…!”
Konoe seemingly felt the same way as me, as she blushed even more aggressively.
“Kyaaa, you’re both blushing. So cute~”
“Shut up! It’s because you’re going around taking pictures!”
“You’re wrong. This isn’t a picture, it’s a video.”
“You’re making movies!?”
“Of course? Ahh, that is some wonderful material. I’ll play it on my TV once I get home.”
“U-Um…Kana-chan…that’s a bit too embarrassing…”
“It’s fine, I’ll show it to you later, Subaru.”
“Eh!? Seriously!?”
“Fufu, you really are adorable. Getting this happy.”
“~~~! Y-You’re wrong, I wasn’t really…”
“Come on, don’t try to act strong. The way you asked ‘Do you not want to kiss me?’ was adorable…”
“Waaaaaaaaaaah! Stop! No more, Kana-chan!” Subaru-sama aggressively flapped her arms up and down.
…Yeah, Suzutsuki is clearly playing around. Or rather, will this happen every single day once I’ve become her butler? What power harassment that is.
“Well, what I’m trying to say is that you two should be happy, since you’re lovers now. Don’t hold back, okay? When you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“…Suzutsuki.”
Maybe she’s just trying to be considerate of us…And that’s why she gave us that order. So that Konoe and I would be able to act as lovers even in front of her.
“…Thanks, Suzutsuki.”
“You don’t need to thank me. More importantly, you better make Subaru happy, okay. Still to think the day would come where that Subaru goes off to get married…Ahh, I can’t stop my tears…”
“You her Dad on marriage day or something?”
“When she was still a child, she said ‘Once I become an adult, I’ll definitely marry Kana-chan!’, as she assaulted me…”
“K-Kana-chan! I never said that!”
“Really now? Well, anyway.” Suzutsuki gave me a serious gaze. “Jirou-kun, you’ll become my butler, right.”
“I know that. Or rather…are you sure? I mean, you’re the only daughter of the Suzutsuki Family, but can you really decide that on your own?”
“Well, not just on the spot. I probably will have to explain it to the family head, namely my father, and the other servants…but there might be someone disagreeing…”
“Are you talking about…”
“Yeah, Konoe Nagare. In fact, he’s the highest-ranking servant, and Subaru’s father…”
“Oh right…he was an absolute helicopter parent…”
I guess receiving permission to date Konoe from that old fart will probably be a lot more difficult than becoming Suzutsuki’s butler. Also, won’t he just straight-up come kill me once he hears about my proposal?
“—It’s fine.”
There, Suzutsuki operated her phone again.
“Right now, I sent him the video I took of you two.”
“!”
“Of course, explaining the entire incident at the opening ceremony today.”
“!?”
“I titled the mail ‘Steps to adulthood’.”
“……”
…Um, Suzutsuki-san? Do you want to kill me?
“Don’t be so scared, okay. Things would have ended even worse if you or Subaru told him directly. Also, that way I can explain things much easier.”
“Well, you’re not wrong, but…is this really okay? I’m worried he might die because of the shock.”
After all, it’s a video of his beloved daughter kissing some guy on the cheek. There’s no more destructive scene he could witness. Not to mention that she leaked the whole proposal to him.
“Then, let me call him…Oh, it didn’t go through. Said he’s out of range.”
“Kana-chan, I think he might have destroyed his phone the second he saw the mail…”
“I see, that’s expected, I guess. You probably guessed it perfectly.” Suzutsuki nodded.
No, this isn’t the time to be admiring father and daughter, okay. The one who’s going to suffer next after the phone will be me, right? Honestly, that old fart’s strong. I think only Mom would be able to win against him?
“Anyway, let’s wait for Nagare’s next move.”
“He’s surely going to come hunting me, right?”
“Fufu, you can’t die, okay. You’ll become my butler after all.”
“…I know, I know.”
That’s right, I have to become Suzutsuki’s butler. In order to continue Konoe’s dream…and in order to grant my own new dream.
“But, before that…Jirou-kun, let me tell you about the job of a butler.”
“The job of a butler?”
In other words, all the duties that Konoe previously took care of, huh. Since I’ve seen her serve Suzutsuki at school, I can somewhat guess what that job really is about. She’s always been good at making tea, and since she overcame her fear of knives, Konoe improved her cooking skills as well. However…
“…What, Jirou? Why are you staring at me like that?” Konoe seemingly didn’t like my gesture, as she pouted in a clearly spoiled mood.
I mean…when I think about butlers, they seem more like close-combat fighters than actual servants. Specifically, there’s the butler knuckle, or ‘End Of Earth’ coming to mind. The very moment a butler has special techniques like that, I just know something’s off. Maybe I have to learn stuff like that as well? I feel like my little sister would give me some good ideas.
“Rest assured, I am the single daughter of the Suzutsuki Family, so I can raise my servants just fine. Listen carefully, Jirou-kun. Your job as my butler…” She pointed at me with her slender finger. “Is to be lovey-dovey with your master.”
“……”
I guess my first duty has been decided. Alright, I gotta take this lady to the hospital right away. And then, she should get checked out immediately, hopefully get some long-term treatment. Don’t you worry, Suzutsuki, I’m going to take good care of you as a butler.
“Jirou-kun, are you thinking about something rude?”
“Of course not. I was just worried about your future, and my own future.”
“So you were thinking something rude. I’m being serious about this, okay?”
“Then why the hell did you suddenly bring up something like that!?” I couldn’t take it anymore, and threw in a sharp retort.
I mean, can you blame me? You’re telling me, a butler, to be lovey-dovey with my master? There’s no way I can accept such a duty…
“Hey, you agree with me right, Subaru.”
“………!?”
The second Suzutsuki called out to her, Konoe froze up, and blushed furiously…Now hold on, what’s that reaction about?
“R-Right, Konoe, can’t you tell me? You’re pretty much my predecessor.”
“~~~!”
I got curious and asked her, to which she bit her lip. And then, she looked at me with an uncertain gaze.
“…Apologies, Jirou, explaining the job of a butler…is too embarrassing, so I can’t.”
“It’s too embarrassing!?”
“B-Because…Kana-chan forced me to do all sorts of stuff…” She muttered while blushing.
…Stop. Please, drop those reactions. What kind of work have you been doing so far? Oh yeah, I heard stories about Konoe washing Suzutsuki or whatever…but was she forced to do something even more stimulating?
“Don’t worry, it’s not as crazy as you think it may be.”
“Sure. Also, just tell me, what orders have you forced on her so far?”
“Um…that’s…Tehe~”
“Don’t try to hide it with an innocent smile!”
“Come on, don’t get so angry. What’s it matter, Subaru was my butler, so I’m allowed to flirt around with her a bit, right?”
“Looking at Konoe’s reaction, it certainly doesn’t look like ‘a bit’ to me!”
Waahh, I’m terrified just thinking about it. Oh yeah, Suzutsuki’s first love was Konoe, right? To think she’d use her position for…No, calm down, Sakamachi Kinjirou. There’s no way such a yuri development was going on behind the scenes…Probably.
“Now, you must have understood the duties as a butler, right?”
“Not in the slightest, no.”
Also, now I’m even more confused. Just what does a butler do? I’m worried about my future path now. At this rate, I might just get stomach cramps on a daily basis.
“Sheesh, can’t be helped then.”
There, Suzutsuki stood up from her seat, and walked towards me.
“If so…then I’ll teach you in even simpler terms. Of course, with my own body.”
“……”
My instincts were telling me to run.
“—There~!” She let out a cute voice, and dove right towards me…Waaaaah! Why is she hugging me like that!?
“Y-You! Get away from me already!”
“Why?”
“I mean…”
“I’m teaching you about your job as a butler.”
“How is this related to my job!?”
She’s just treating me as a giant plush toy! Or, a hugging pillow with an anime character imprinted on it. There’s no way that this is…
“But, I often hugged Subaru like this.”
“Eh?”
“Sometimes we’d even sleep in the same bed.”
“In the same bed!?”
“D-D-D-Don’t get the wrong idea, Jirou! I didn’t do anything! Kana-chan just gave me a ‘Let’s sleep together like we did as small children’ order, so I couldn’t…”
“You’re right. But, your sleep talk was quite adorable back then.”
“…Sleep talk?”
“She was like ‘Ah…Kana-chan…You can’t…don’t touch me there…it’s embarrassing…!’, you know.”
“I-I-I never said that! I never talked in my sleep like that!” Konoe flapped her arms around wildly, denying those words.
That sight of hers looked so comically adorable, but…Yeah, this ain’t the time to think about that. I gotta push away this rich lady right now.
“My? Jirou-kun, has your gynophobia been cured completely?”
“!”
“I knew it. I thought it was weird. But, congratulations. With this, our long treatment program has come to an end…Ah, right, now that it’s gone, I have a present for you from your future master.”
“…A present?”
“—Squeeeeze~”
“Gaaaaaah!? Stop that! You’re gonna pop me like a balloon!”
A sweet scent drifted up my nose, and a soft marshmallow-like sensation pressed against my body, making my heart race. Not good, this present is too bad for my heart. I feel like my gynophobia might flare up again.
“Fufu, Jirou-kun~” She seemed to have figured out my feelings, as she clung to me with a sweet voice.
…Deretsuki-san’s no joke, as always. So I’ll become her butler? And then, every single day would be like this. Ahaha, what is this job? I feel like you wouldn’t find this on the dark web no matter how much you searched for it.
“…Hmpf.” There, I heard a displeased voice.
Looking over, Konoe Subaru stared at me and Suzutsuki, and—
“!?”
Suddenly, Konoe also clung to me.
“K-Konoe! What are you doing!?” I asked her, flustered.
“B-Because…” She muttered. “You were flirting around with Kana-chan…”
“……”
My god, Subaru-sama is jealous. To think she’d react this way…Waah, she’s so cute. The usually indifferent Subaru-sama is being assertive now.
“Subaru, are you jealous?”
“N-Not really, but…Jirou is my boyfriend, so…”
“You’re right. But, I am Jirou-kun’s master.”
“Ah, Kana-chan, you’re clinging to him again…!” Konoe said, and as if to fight back, she also clung to me more aggressively.
Like that, two girls were fighting for me……Um, I don’t mind the popularity, but could you stop this useless fighting? If not, my heart won’t be able to take it. I’m getting dizzy already from my heart going crazy. Anybody is fine, just please save me…
“…Hm?”
There, as if my prayers had been answered, the doorbell rang. Seems like somebody’s here.
“My, it seems like we have a visitor. I guess it’s time to put things on hold.” Suzutsuki said, and moved away from my body.
Konoe also let out a disgruntled ‘Hmpf…’, and did the same.
“…Phew.” Confirming that they had let go of me, I sighed in relief.
I’m saved…I don’t know who it is, but I thank you. What perfect timing that was…But, I wonder who it is? I didn’t plan for any guests today.
“…God, they’re so annoying.”
Again and again and again and again, that visitor pressed the doorbell like they were trying to annoy the residents. Must be some urgent business, I guess.
“Yes yes, I’m coming.” I muttered, and put my hand on the doorknob.
Well, whoever it may be, it’s definitely a lot better than my previous situation. They won’t cling to me at least.
“!?”
However, I would quickly curse my naivety.
“Nyahaha! Been a while!”
The second I opened the door, an innocent and energetic voice rang out. At the same time, an impact shook me. The girl shooting towards me rammed its body into mine. Also, it had so much momentum, it felt like a tackle more than anything. However, I knew. There’s only one person who would act with such hyper violence.
“I’m back, Nii-san!”
While my body was pushed backwards onto the ground, she raised a cheerful voice. That’s right, this is Sakamachi Kureha. Surprisingly enough, my little sister now appeared. And according to my experience, it won’t end with just a tackle.
“Wooooo! Nii-san, Nii-san, Nii-san! It’s been a while, so I’ll give you a big hug!”
“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
Receiving Kureha’s relentless bear hug, I let out a scream. Following that, I heard ominous cracks on my back.
“…Yeah.”
But, I wonder why. This isn’t so bad. Maybe it’s because I get to meet Kureha after such a long time? She’s been living with Nakuru for a month now, so I didn’t get to enjoy this kind of treatment for a while. Haha, thinking about it that way, this is no big thing at all. Kureha’s a cute one, so if she hugs me like that, I’m more than happy…
“Hey, Kureha, can you get away now? I get that you’re happy about our touching reunion, but I’m going to pass out soon here.”
“Wha!? You’re right! Nii-san! Pull yourself together!”
After a few seconds of Kureha shaking me, I finally came back to my senses….T-That was dangerous, I almost walked over a line I’m never allowed to cross…I think I was getting close to meeting my old man.
“Nyahaha, sorry about that, Nii-san. I just got a bit excited.”
“Don’t worry about it. My body has probably gotten stiff over the days…Also, you’re finally back, huh.”
“Yup! Our home’s back to normal after all!” She grinned, and once again clung to me.
Well, I don’t blame her for being excited. This house burned down back in September, so it’s been a while since we got to feel each other’s warmth in here. Also…without her around, this doesn’t feel like the Sakamachi Family.
“For crying out loud, the way you siblings show affection is messed up as always.” There, an anime voice sounding like it came out of the 2D world rang inside my ears.
When I pushed up my body, I spotted a girl even smaller than Kureha—Narumi Schrödinger. The vice club president of Rouran Academy’s handicrafts club let out a sigh as she looked at us.
“S-Schrö-senpai, why are you here?”
“Huh? Don’t give me that, you proposal bastard.”
“Wha…what kind of mocking nickname is that?”
“Ahaha, you jumped up on stage at the opening ceremony, can’t blame me for giving you a fitting name, right? That was one hell of a sight. Topic’s been going around in every homeroom after the ceremony ended.”
“Urk…Well, I guess that’s to be expected…”
After all, the entire school found out that their prince Subaru-sama is actually a girl, and I went up and proposed to her. In front of all of them. There’s no way it wouldn’t blow up.
“…Kureha-chan?”
There, Konoe’s voice rang out. She seemed to have come to check up on who the visitor was.
“K-Konoe-senpai…” There, Kureha showed clear tension in her voice.
…Well, I don’t blame her. She’s liked Konoe before, and after being rejected back in November, she’s probably gotten over it, but…Sure is complicated alright, finding out that the boy you liked actually was a girl.
“…Ah, sorry, wrong way to address you.”
“Hm?” Konoe tilted her head, confused.
There, Kureha took a deep breath, and…
“S…Subaru-oneechan!”
“……”
Alright, hold on now, my sister. Where the hell did that come from?”
“Hey, Kureha, that came outta nowhere.”
“Eh? But…you and Konoe-senpai are going to get married, right? You proposed to her during the opening ceremony. That means she’ll become my sister-in-law.”
“But…”
“Isn’t it fine? I always wanted an older sister!” She grinned, showing a V-sign. Amazing…Her positive attitude is on an entirely different level. Even though she had feelings for Konoe before…
“……”
No, that’s not it. She was rejected back in November, and now it’s January. Quite some time has passed since then…that’s why Kureha managed to get up again.
‘Once I get a bit of rest…I’ll get up again. I’ll start walking again!’
On the day she was rejected, these were the words she told me. She stayed true to it, and got over her shock of being rejected.
“Nya? What’s wrong, Nii-san? Why are you staring at me like that?”
“I mean, I was just thinking…how strong you are.”
“Nyahaha! Where did that come from! That’s how we girls are!” She puffed out her chest in confidence.
Well, in her case, not only her heart is strong, but also her body. I was just turned into a punching bag all the time.
“But, I sure was surprised. To think Subaru-sama turned out to be a girl, and immediately gets a proposal from Nii-san.”
“Well, I don’t blame ya.”
“Yup. Not to mention…”
For some reason, Kureha started blushing, fidgeting awkwardly.
“Since you proposed to her…that means you two are…d-dating, right?”
“……”
…This is bad. Things suddenly got all awkward. I never knew that having someone from my family…not to mention my own little sister asking me about my relationship status.
“I-Isn’t that right, Subaru-oneechan?”
“Y-Yeah…Also, stop calling me that way, Kureha-chan. We still…haven’t gotten married yet.”
“I-I understand, Konoe-senpai.”
“Urk…”
For some reason, Konoe sounded a bit disappointed. Maybe she actually wanted to be called that way a bit longer? Well, she always wanted a younger sibling after all.
“By the way, Konoe-senpai, can I ask you something?”
“Eh? I don’t mind…” Konoe seemed somewhat confused.
However, Kureha showed no restraint as she continued.
“Konoe-senpai, what do you like about Nii-san?”
It sounded like heaven’s split. Hey now, hey now, what are you talking about so abruptly…How can she ask something so embarrassing out of nowhere?
“You’re right, I’m quite curious about that myself.”
“!”
Looking behind me, there stood Suzutsuki.
“S-Suzutsuki, you…!”
“What’s it matter? You two are going out already, and Kureha-chan is your little sister. That’s why, we’re all curious. Don’t you agree, Kureha-chan?”
“Yes! Since Konoe-senpai will be Nii-san’s future wife, I’m very interested!” Kureha showed no hesitation.
…That damn Devil Suzutsuki, she’s only pouring more gasoline into the fire. Or rather than that, she’s firing an entire rocket into there. In fact, Konoe was blushing furiously, as she glared at Suzutsuki.
“Now, tell us, Konoe-senpai. What do you like about Nii-san?”
“Urk…” Konoe bit her lip, trying to bear the embarrassment. If this was the past Konoe right now, I don’t think I’d be able to answer that question. However, she’s changed. She’s not lost her way anymore, thanks to everything that happened. Stacking these experiences, she’s made it this far.
“…Alright, I’ll say it then…”
She seemed to have made up her mind. Taking a deep breath, she suppressed her embarrassment, and spoke up—
“—Everything.”
“………”
…Alright, maybe you changed a bit too much, Subaru-sama. She’s grown even more than I thought she had. Look, even Suzutsuki doesn’t know how to respond. Also, everything…”
E-Everything?”
“Yeah…I like…everything about Jirou.”
“But…even he has flaws, you know? He can’t get up in the morning, he can’t cook, and there’s nothing great about his body other than how sturdy it is…”
“Hey, Kureha, I’m standing right here.”
“Ah, my bad, my bad. Then…Konoe-senpai. Nii-san is the greatest chicken bastard that has ever walked on this earth, you know?”
“Are you even listening to me!?”
Blurting out something I’m conscious about…Yeah, I’m a chicken who can’t win against his little sister…Though, I doubt there’s anybody who could win against her.
“It’s fine…Even that included, I like everything about Jirou.”
“Konoe-senpai…”
“Not to mention…even I have flaws. That’s why, we just have to accept each other’s flaws, and live on together.” Konoe said, still flustered.
Hearing all of that, Kureha nodded once.
“You’re right. I think that’s the best. Then, Konoe-senpai, please take care of Nii-san from now on.”
“Ah…Yeah, likewise, Kureha-chan.”
“If possible, I’d like for you two to have two children.”
“Why’d you suddenly bring that up!?”
“I mean, since you two will get married…Kyaa~”
“D-D-Don’t start blushing there! You’re jumping the gun! Also, it’s too early to talk about the number…”
“Then I want to decide on the names.”
“…Names?”
“Hansen and Brody1.”
“Why would I use names from foreign wrestlers!?”
“Ehhh, I think they’re cool! Konoe Hansen and Konoe Brody.”
“Yeah, no thanks…”
“But, I do think that having two children would be the best, you know? Just like Nii-san and me. If you get two, they’ll be strong like us!”
“S-Siblings like Kureha-chan and Jirou…” Konoe muttered, and looked over at me and Kureha.
A few seconds passed, to which Konoe showed a tense smile, saying ‘A-Aha…I’ll think about it…’, clearly hiding her honest feelings…Well, I get how she must feel. Honestly speaking, I wouldn’t want children like me and Kureha. I mean, the older brother is being used as a punching bag, right? Only one victim is needed here.
“Ahhh, can I just break between you all?” An anime voice interrupted the conversation between Kureha and Konoe.
That voice naturally belonged to Schrö-senpai. She played with her hair, and then…
“Kureha, I told you before. We came here for a reason. Won’t you prioritize that?”
“Nya…R-Right, my bad, vice captain.” Kureha showed a somewhat dejected reaction.
What? Why is she acting like that. Also, the way she said ‘We’…
“Come in already, will you.” Schrö-senpai looked at the door.
Following that, a shadow appeared, taking the shape of a girl wearing glasses and cat ears—Narumi Nakuru. She’s Schrö-senpai’s younger sister, and the president of the ‘Watch Over Subaru-sama with a Warm Gaze’ committee.
“H-Hello, Subaru-sama.”
“Nakuru-chan…”
Tension filled the air…As expected, you could say. Today, Konoe announced that she’s a girl, despite being known as the prince of the school. At the same time, Nakuru was the leader of her fanclub. Or rather, her main goal was to create BL books with the two of us. Either way, finding out that Konoe is a girl must be a huge shock for her. And, not everybody could be as positive about it as Kureha.
“…Subaru-sama.” With a serious expression, Nakuru spoke up. “You knew that two Subaru-sama fan clubs exist at Rouran Academy, right? The [S4] and the [Watch Over Committee]. Nakuru has come here…as a representative of both fanclubs.”
“…!” I swallowed my breath.
Basically…she came here to convey the opinions of both clubs? That would be bad. They all thought that Konoe was a girl…
“—It’s fine, Jirou.”
However, Konoe opened her mouth, almost like she had guessed what I was thinking.
“No need to be so worried. This is my problem, so I have to hear out Nakuru-chan.”
“Konoe…”
That’s right, we have to hear out Nakuru’s words, no matter what they may be. After all, they thought that Konoe was a girl.
“Nakuru-chan, tell me. I’m prepared.” She said, and looked directly at Nakuru.
She really…changed, huh. The previous Konoe never would have been able to do such a thing. No clue what Nakuru is about to say. Maybe she’s going to blame her. Maybe she’s going to reprimand her for acting like a boy. She might vent out her anger that she stored up. And yet, Konoe didn’t run away. She decided to face these problems.
“…Thank you very much, Subaru-sama.”
A heavy atmosphere reigned at the entrance. Nakuru opened her mouth. In that split second, I saw Konoe gulp down her saliva.
“—Please go on a date with Nakuru.”
Why…why is she the second person after Kureha who has gone batshit crazy today…Okay now hold on. What is this glasses junkie saying?
“U-Um…Nakuru-chan, what exactly do you mean by that?”
“That’s crystal clear! Nakuru wants to go on a date with Subaru-sama!”
“B-But, a date…” Subaru-sama was bewildered.
I don’t blame her. Nakuru came to meet her as the representative of both clubs, so she surely never would have imagined such a question. Not to mention, asking her out on a date…
“Hey now, Nakuru, you can’t just drop a bomb like that and not elaborate.” Schrö-senpai spoke up.
…Thank god, at least she knows how messy this is. Thanks to her I managed to get up after all. Surely, she should be able to get this situation under control.
“I mean, Subaru-sama is Onii-chan’s girlfriend, remember? If she went on a date with you, she’d practically be cheating.”
“………”
For a moment, a horrible premonition filled my chest…I forgot. She might be a good and reliable person, but sometimes she goes a bit crazy. She’s a different kind of troublemaker compared to Suzutsuki.
“Fueh? But then, what should Nakuru do, Onee-chan?”
“Hehe.” Schrö-senpai let out a confident snort. “Ain’t that obvious? If a date between just you and Subaru-sama is a problem, then have someone tag along. In other words…” She said, and pointed at me.
“Onii-chan, you join them on their date.”
“Wha…why me!?”
“I mean, you two are going out, right? Perfect then, if the boyfriend is present, it doesn’t count as cheating.”
“Y-You’re not wrong, but…”
I don’t think that Konoe would cheat on me with Nakuru. I mean…those two are girls…Ah, right. Until today, Nakuru thought that Konoe was a boy, yeah. But, didn’t she enjoy the coupling with me and Subaru-sama more than invading that…
“With just Nakuru, Subaru-sama, and Onii-chan, it’s a bit unbalanced, right.” Narumi Schrödinger interrupted my thoughts.
The ultra small handicrafts vice club president dropped the third bombshell for today.
“That’s why…I’ll tag along.”
“…Excuse me?”
“No ‘excuse me’, okay. I’m saying that I’ll tag along. It’ll be the four of us. Would give it a better balance, right? Basically, what I’m trying to say…” She smiled, and continued. “Let’s go on a double date.”
“……”
Yeah, I expected as much. Both Narumi Nakuru and Narumi Schrödinger are unpredictable.
1 Professional wrestlers
Inside the newly-built Sakamachi Household, surrounded by the new and fresh scent of wood, the girl—Suzutsuki Kanade—spoke up. She’s the single daughter of Private Rouran Academy’s board chairman, a perfect rich and noble lady. At the same time, she was Konoe Subaru’s—the girl I proposed to—master.
“Even I was surprised at that. To think you’d propose in front of the entire student body.” Suzutsuki said with a somewhat serious tone.
She’s right, today at the opening ceremony, I proposed to Konoe, because she had decided to give up on her dream…namely to be a butler for the Suzutsuki Family…because she accepted my confession. That’s why I said I would become a butler of the Suzutsuki Family in her stead…
“But, my lady, is this really okay? We just went home early from school…” A familiar alto voice spoke up next to me.
Naturally, this voice belonged to none other than Konoe Subaru. She’s the crossdressing butler of the Suzutsuki Family…or wait, no. She declared that she’s a girl in front of the entire student body, so that’s not the case anymore. On a side note, it was currently 11am in the morning.
After the incident at the opening ceremony, Suzutsuki pulled me and Konoe off the stage, and urged us to come to my home like this. At the same time, Masamune isn’t here either. According to what Suzutsuki told me, she went home right after the ceremony. She’s probably at her flat right now…
“Can you blame me? The plan was for homeroom to happen after the ceremony, and then we could go home. But, if you two participated in homeroom, it’d cause a ruckus.”
“Well, you’re not wrong…” Konoe nodded, sounding nervous.
I can’t blame her. Today, she nodded to my words, and declared that she’d quit as Suzutsuki’s butler. However, that is simply her opinion. I still have to hear my answer.
“—Suzutsuki.” I called out her name. “Please, tell me. Will you make me your butler?”
“……”
Silence followed, as I simply waited for her response.
“No can do. There’s no way I can accept that.”
“……!” I swallowed my breath at that response.
But, I guess this response was to be expected. A butler is a special existence for Suzutsuki, and although we may be friends, there’s no way she could just…
“I mean, if you became my family’s butler…Everything would be boring, right?”
“…Excuse me?”
“Think about it. If you were to become my butler, that would mean you’d go and get married to Subaru, right? In other words, you would marry into her family. Then, your name would change from Sakamachi Kinjirou to Konoe Kinjirou.”
“……”
Now hold on. This is the reason she doesn’t want me to become her butler…?
“And then, I can’t make fun of you for being a ‘Chicken’ anymore.”
“Are you kidding me!? What a stupid reason!”
“What are you talking about? With you changing your name and losing the ‘Chicken’, you’ll lose your entire identity.”
“My identity isn’t that shallow!”
“Really? Sakama Chicken Jirou-kun.”
“Don’t emphasize it that way!” I was gasping for air, throwing retorts out like a boxing champion.
However, Suzutsuki simply let out a snicker, as she watched my reactions.
“Well, leaving aside the jokes…as a daughter of the Suzutsuki Family, I shall accept you as my butler.”
“! R-Really!?”
“Of course. You are my friend after all, so I’d be happy to have you as my butler.” She said, and smiled.
…Ahh, I was such an idiot. I guess I’ve been wrong about Suzutsuki this entire time. She might be a sadist, but when her friends are in a pinch, she definitely goes to help them. In the end, she’s just a gentle girl with a somewhat twisted personality.
“That sounds much more interesting to me after all.”
“……”
“Rather, why did I never come up with that before? If I had Jirou-kun as my butler…I could play with him 24/7…How could I have been so blind to that possibility…What a failure on my part.”
“……”
Let me take it back, she’s a devil after all—Devil Suzutsuki. It seems like she’s seeing me as a toy more than a butler. Ahaha, will my life be okay, I wonder? I feel like I’ll be used as a dust cloth or less.
“Jirou-kun, could you stop glaring at my face with such a scary expression? We wouldn’t want any tears.”
“Stop lying, you wouldn’t cry from something like this.”
“? You say some weird stuff. The one who will be crying is you, Jirou-kun.”
“Why!?”
“If you give me such rebellious gazes…I-It makes me want to bully you.”
“No matter how embarrassed you may try to act, you still sound scary!”
“Fufu, what’s the big deal? You rejected my confession, so at least give me this much.”
“…!” I swallowed my breath.
That’s right, with my declaration during today’s entrance ceremony, I basically gave Suzutsuki a response. After all, I proposed to Konoe. In other words…
“But…thanks to that, I feel refreshed.”
“…Eh?”
“I mean, the best I can do is give up, right? I didn’t expect you to propose in front of the entire student body. If you do something so bold for Subaru, I can only give up on you.”
“Suzutsuki…”
“Fufu, don’t give me such an apologetic gaze. What you did was the right choice. At the very least, that’s what I think. After all, I like all those honest parts about you. Subaru, you should be happy.” Suzutsuki called out to Konoe, who had her face cast down.
“My lady…”
“Subaru, stop calling me that way. You revealed your true sex to everyone in front of the school today. That’s why, you’re not my butler anymore. Simply call me ‘Kana-chan’.”
“…Ah.” Konoe’s head shot up. “…Yeah, sorry, Kana-chan.”
“Don’t apologize. We’re still friends, okay?”
“…Thank you, Kana-chan.”
“Fufu, likewise. Thanks for calling me Kana-chan, Subaru.”
They both smiled at each other…I’m glad. I was worried that their friendship would break apart because Konoe accepted my confession. Before being master and butler, these two are meant to be friends after all.
“By the way, Subaru, there is one thing I’d like to tell you.”
“Hm? What is it?” Konoe tilted her head like a small animal, seeming confused.
Suzutsuki went silent for a moment, and then spoke up with a smile.
“Why are you and Jirou-kun not flirting around?”
“……”
Now hold on a second. What is this woman talking about, completely out of the blue?
“K-Kana-chan? Um, I don’t think I can quite follow…”
“You don’t have to hold back, you know? You and Jirou-kun have become a fully-fledged couple, so you should be a lot more lovey-dovey.”
“B-But, even if you suddenly tell me that…” Subaru-sama blushed furiously.
I don’t blame her. Suzutsuki is a bit more open about that sort of stuff. She’s forgetting that she can’t flirt around with me in front of somebody else…
“Please, Subaru, this is for my sake, so that I get over my feelings for Jirou-kun.”
“Eh…”
“I said what I said before, but…I’m still a girl. I might just never be able to get over Jirou-kun. That’s why, if I see you two acting like lovers, I can put a clean end to my feelings.”
“Kana-chan…” Konoe put one hand on her chest. “…Okay. For your sake, I’ll be lovey-dovey with Jirou!”
“Fufu, that’s the Subaru I know and love. Thank you.”
Konoe suddenly sounded awfully motivated, but Suzutsuki was showing an eerie grin…This is bad. That Suzutsuki, she’s clearly enjoying this situation, yeah. She just wants to sit at the front line and see me and Konoe embarrassed. Enjoying herself is her utmost priority in life after all.
“Hey, Suzutsuki, you keep it down a bit.”
“My, that hurts. I was just rejected, you know?”
“Urk…You love bringing that up, huh…”
“Fufu. Also, you’ll become my butler, right? Then, you have to listen to my orders.” She said, showing an angelic and innocent smile.
Ugh…I don’t want to admit it, but her smile really is adorable. With just that, I don’t think I could go against any kind of order she’d give me…
“Now then, it’s lovey-dovey time~” She kept up her smile, and… “I say we start with a kiss.”
“……”
Oh lord, I beg you, please somebody stop this woman. If not, Konoe and I will suffer at the hands of this woman. I mean…a kiss, you know? Doing that in front of Suzutsuki is…
“O-Okay, Kana-chan.”
“!?”
Hearing that voice from next to me completely robbed me of my words. Looking over, Konoe’s facial expression was distorted in embarrassment, and stared at me.
“C-Calm down, Konoe! Don’t fall for her tricks!”
“Hmpf, that’s not the case. She’s doing this for our sake, I’m sure. Not to mention…” She blushed, and continued. “Do you…not want to kiss me?”
“……”
Crap. My girlfriend is way too cute. Waaaah, I can’t say no with that face of hers! It’s killing me softly!
“…Jirou.” She muttered my name, and put her hand on my shoulder.
And then—
“—Mmn.”
Together with an adorable kiss sound, soft lips touched…my cheek.
“……”
…Yeah, I guessed as much. I mean, a kiss on the cheek is already more than enough to get my heart racing, and I could feel my face heating up.
“~~~!”
Konoe seemed to suffer from similar feelings, as she jumped away from me, pressing one hand on her lips as she blushed furiously. But…I wonder why…this reaction made her look even more girly…
“…Alright, well done you two.” Suzutsuki spoke up in the face of us flustered two.
A bit of regret and pain hid in her voice…Well, that’s to be expected. After all, Suzutsuki had feelings for me, so surely she’d be down seeing me flirting with another girl.
“I’m sorry, my camera didn’t capture that too well, so can I ask for another one?”
“What do you mean by camera!?”
When I turned my gaze towards Suzutsuki, I saw a lens pointed at us……Don’t tell me…
“Of course, I went ahead and took pictures of your lovey-dovey scene.”
“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
“Oh my, why are you screaming like that? Since you’re lovers, you should just indulge in that as much as you want. See, like this.”
“Stop! Don’t show me such embarrassing pictures!”
She pointed the camera screen at me, showing me that cheek kiss scene. I-Is she Satan reborn? To think I’d be forced through such humiliation…My heart is going to run out of boost at this rate…
“K-Kana-chan, you don’t have to take pictures…!”
Konoe seemingly felt the same way as me, as she blushed even more aggressively.
“Kyaaa, you’re both blushing. So cute~”
“Shut up! It’s because you’re going around taking pictures!”
“You’re wrong. This isn’t a picture, it’s a video.”
“You’re making movies!?”
“Of course? Ahh, that is some wonderful material. I’ll play it on my TV once I get home.”
“U-Um…Kana-chan…that’s a bit too embarrassing…”
“It’s fine, I’ll show it to you later, Subaru.”
“Eh!? Seriously!?”
“Fufu, you really are adorable. Getting this happy.”
“~~~! Y-You’re wrong, I wasn’t really…”
“Come on, don’t try to act strong. The way you asked ‘Do you not want to kiss me?’ was adorable…”
“Waaaaaaaaaaah! Stop! No more, Kana-chan!” Subaru-sama aggressively flapped her arms up and down.
…Yeah, Suzutsuki is clearly playing around. Or rather, will this happen every single day once I’ve become her butler? What power harassment that is.
“Well, what I’m trying to say is that you two should be happy, since you’re lovers now. Don’t hold back, okay? When you’re happy, I’m happy.”
“…Suzutsuki.”
Maybe she’s just trying to be considerate of us…And that’s why she gave us that order. So that Konoe and I would be able to act as lovers even in front of her.
“…Thanks, Suzutsuki.”
“You don’t need to thank me. More importantly, you better make Subaru happy, okay. Still to think the day would come where that Subaru goes off to get married…Ahh, I can’t stop my tears…”
“You her Dad on marriage day or something?”
“When she was still a child, she said ‘Once I become an adult, I’ll definitely marry Kana-chan!’, as she assaulted me…”
“K-Kana-chan! I never said that!”
“Really now? Well, anyway.” Suzutsuki gave me a serious gaze. “Jirou-kun, you’ll become my butler, right.”
“I know that. Or rather…are you sure? I mean, you’re the only daughter of the Suzutsuki Family, but can you really decide that on your own?”
“Well, not just on the spot. I probably will have to explain it to the family head, namely my father, and the other servants…but there might be someone disagreeing…”
“Are you talking about…”
“Yeah, Konoe Nagare. In fact, he’s the highest-ranking servant, and Subaru’s father…”
“Oh right…he was an absolute helicopter parent…”
I guess receiving permission to date Konoe from that old fart will probably be a lot more difficult than becoming Suzutsuki’s butler. Also, won’t he just straight-up come kill me once he hears about my proposal?
“—It’s fine.”
There, Suzutsuki operated her phone again.
“Right now, I sent him the video I took of you two.”
“!”
“Of course, explaining the entire incident at the opening ceremony today.”
“!?”
“I titled the mail ‘Steps to adulthood’.”
“……”
…Um, Suzutsuki-san? Do you want to kill me?
“Don’t be so scared, okay. Things would have ended even worse if you or Subaru told him directly. Also, that way I can explain things much easier.”
“Well, you’re not wrong, but…is this really okay? I’m worried he might die because of the shock.”
After all, it’s a video of his beloved daughter kissing some guy on the cheek. There’s no more destructive scene he could witness. Not to mention that she leaked the whole proposal to him.
“Then, let me call him…Oh, it didn’t go through. Said he’s out of range.”
“Kana-chan, I think he might have destroyed his phone the second he saw the mail…”
“I see, that’s expected, I guess. You probably guessed it perfectly.” Suzutsuki nodded.
No, this isn’t the time to be admiring father and daughter, okay. The one who’s going to suffer next after the phone will be me, right? Honestly, that old fart’s strong. I think only Mom would be able to win against him?
“Anyway, let’s wait for Nagare’s next move.”
“He’s surely going to come hunting me, right?”
“Fufu, you can’t die, okay. You’ll become my butler after all.”
“…I know, I know.”
That’s right, I have to become Suzutsuki’s butler. In order to continue Konoe’s dream…and in order to grant my own new dream.
“But, before that…Jirou-kun, let me tell you about the job of a butler.”
“The job of a butler?”
In other words, all the duties that Konoe previously took care of, huh. Since I’ve seen her serve Suzutsuki at school, I can somewhat guess what that job really is about. She’s always been good at making tea, and since she overcame her fear of knives, Konoe improved her cooking skills as well. However…
“…What, Jirou? Why are you staring at me like that?” Konoe seemingly didn’t like my gesture, as she pouted in a clearly spoiled mood.
I mean…when I think about butlers, they seem more like close-combat fighters than actual servants. Specifically, there’s the butler knuckle, or ‘End Of Earth’ coming to mind. The very moment a butler has special techniques like that, I just know something’s off. Maybe I have to learn stuff like that as well? I feel like my little sister would give me some good ideas.
“Rest assured, I am the single daughter of the Suzutsuki Family, so I can raise my servants just fine. Listen carefully, Jirou-kun. Your job as my butler…” She pointed at me with her slender finger. “Is to be lovey-dovey with your master.”
“……”
I guess my first duty has been decided. Alright, I gotta take this lady to the hospital right away. And then, she should get checked out immediately, hopefully get some long-term treatment. Don’t you worry, Suzutsuki, I’m going to take good care of you as a butler.
“Jirou-kun, are you thinking about something rude?”
“Of course not. I was just worried about your future, and my own future.”
“So you were thinking something rude. I’m being serious about this, okay?”
“Then why the hell did you suddenly bring up something like that!?” I couldn’t take it anymore, and threw in a sharp retort.
I mean, can you blame me? You’re telling me, a butler, to be lovey-dovey with my master? There’s no way I can accept such a duty…
“Hey, you agree with me right, Subaru.”
“………!?”
The second Suzutsuki called out to her, Konoe froze up, and blushed furiously…Now hold on, what’s that reaction about?
“R-Right, Konoe, can’t you tell me? You’re pretty much my predecessor.”
“~~~!”
I got curious and asked her, to which she bit her lip. And then, she looked at me with an uncertain gaze.
“…Apologies, Jirou, explaining the job of a butler…is too embarrassing, so I can’t.”
“It’s too embarrassing!?”
“B-Because…Kana-chan forced me to do all sorts of stuff…” She muttered while blushing.
…Stop. Please, drop those reactions. What kind of work have you been doing so far? Oh yeah, I heard stories about Konoe washing Suzutsuki or whatever…but was she forced to do something even more stimulating?
“Don’t worry, it’s not as crazy as you think it may be.”
“Sure. Also, just tell me, what orders have you forced on her so far?”
“Um…that’s…Tehe~”
“Don’t try to hide it with an innocent smile!”
“Come on, don’t get so angry. What’s it matter, Subaru was my butler, so I’m allowed to flirt around with her a bit, right?”
“Looking at Konoe’s reaction, it certainly doesn’t look like ‘a bit’ to me!”
Waahh, I’m terrified just thinking about it. Oh yeah, Suzutsuki’s first love was Konoe, right? To think she’d use her position for…No, calm down, Sakamachi Kinjirou. There’s no way such a yuri development was going on behind the scenes…Probably.
“Now, you must have understood the duties as a butler, right?”
“Not in the slightest, no.”
Also, now I’m even more confused. Just what does a butler do? I’m worried about my future path now. At this rate, I might just get stomach cramps on a daily basis.
“Sheesh, can’t be helped then.”
There, Suzutsuki stood up from her seat, and walked towards me.
“If so…then I’ll teach you in even simpler terms. Of course, with my own body.”
“……”
My instincts were telling me to run.
“—There~!” She let out a cute voice, and dove right towards me…Waaaaah! Why is she hugging me like that!?
“Y-You! Get away from me already!”
“Why?”
“I mean…”
“I’m teaching you about your job as a butler.”
“How is this related to my job!?”
She’s just treating me as a giant plush toy! Or, a hugging pillow with an anime character imprinted on it. There’s no way that this is…
“But, I often hugged Subaru like this.”
“Eh?”
“Sometimes we’d even sleep in the same bed.”
“In the same bed!?”
“D-D-D-Don’t get the wrong idea, Jirou! I didn’t do anything! Kana-chan just gave me a ‘Let’s sleep together like we did as small children’ order, so I couldn’t…”
“You’re right. But, your sleep talk was quite adorable back then.”
“…Sleep talk?”
“She was like ‘Ah…Kana-chan…You can’t…don’t touch me there…it’s embarrassing…!’, you know.”
“I-I-I never said that! I never talked in my sleep like that!” Konoe flapped her arms around wildly, denying those words.
That sight of hers looked so comically adorable, but…Yeah, this ain’t the time to think about that. I gotta push away this rich lady right now.
“My? Jirou-kun, has your gynophobia been cured completely?”
“!”
“I knew it. I thought it was weird. But, congratulations. With this, our long treatment program has come to an end…Ah, right, now that it’s gone, I have a present for you from your future master.”
“…A present?”
“—Squeeeeze~”
“Gaaaaaah!? Stop that! You’re gonna pop me like a balloon!”
A sweet scent drifted up my nose, and a soft marshmallow-like sensation pressed against my body, making my heart race. Not good, this present is too bad for my heart. I feel like my gynophobia might flare up again.
“Fufu, Jirou-kun~” She seemed to have figured out my feelings, as she clung to me with a sweet voice.
…Deretsuki-san’s no joke, as always. So I’ll become her butler? And then, every single day would be like this. Ahaha, what is this job? I feel like you wouldn’t find this on the dark web no matter how much you searched for it.
“…Hmpf.” There, I heard a displeased voice.
Looking over, Konoe Subaru stared at me and Suzutsuki, and—
“!?”
Suddenly, Konoe also clung to me.
“K-Konoe! What are you doing!?” I asked her, flustered.
“B-Because…” She muttered. “You were flirting around with Kana-chan…”
“……”
My god, Subaru-sama is jealous. To think she’d react this way…Waah, she’s so cute. The usually indifferent Subaru-sama is being assertive now.
“Subaru, are you jealous?”
“N-Not really, but…Jirou is my boyfriend, so…”
“You’re right. But, I am Jirou-kun’s master.”
“Ah, Kana-chan, you’re clinging to him again…!” Konoe said, and as if to fight back, she also clung to me more aggressively.
Like that, two girls were fighting for me……Um, I don’t mind the popularity, but could you stop this useless fighting? If not, my heart won’t be able to take it. I’m getting dizzy already from my heart going crazy. Anybody is fine, just please save me…
“…Hm?”
There, as if my prayers had been answered, the doorbell rang. Seems like somebody’s here.
“My, it seems like we have a visitor. I guess it’s time to put things on hold.” Suzutsuki said, and moved away from my body.
Konoe also let out a disgruntled ‘Hmpf…’, and did the same.
“…Phew.” Confirming that they had let go of me, I sighed in relief.
I’m saved…I don’t know who it is, but I thank you. What perfect timing that was…But, I wonder who it is? I didn’t plan for any guests today.
“…God, they’re so annoying.”
Again and again and again and again, that visitor pressed the doorbell like they were trying to annoy the residents. Must be some urgent business, I guess.
“Yes yes, I’m coming.” I muttered, and put my hand on the doorknob.
Well, whoever it may be, it’s definitely a lot better than my previous situation. They won’t cling to me at least.
“!?”
However, I would quickly curse my naivety.
“Nyahaha! Been a while!”
The second I opened the door, an innocent and energetic voice rang out. At the same time, an impact shook me. The girl shooting towards me rammed its body into mine. Also, it had so much momentum, it felt like a tackle more than anything. However, I knew. There’s only one person who would act with such hyper violence.
“I’m back, Nii-san!”
While my body was pushed backwards onto the ground, she raised a cheerful voice. That’s right, this is Sakamachi Kureha. Surprisingly enough, my little sister now appeared. And according to my experience, it won’t end with just a tackle.
“Wooooo! Nii-san, Nii-san, Nii-san! It’s been a while, so I’ll give you a big hug!”
“Gyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
Receiving Kureha’s relentless bear hug, I let out a scream. Following that, I heard ominous cracks on my back.
“…Yeah.”
But, I wonder why. This isn’t so bad. Maybe it’s because I get to meet Kureha after such a long time? She’s been living with Nakuru for a month now, so I didn’t get to enjoy this kind of treatment for a while. Haha, thinking about it that way, this is no big thing at all. Kureha’s a cute one, so if she hugs me like that, I’m more than happy…
“Hey, Kureha, can you get away now? I get that you’re happy about our touching reunion, but I’m going to pass out soon here.”
“Wha!? You’re right! Nii-san! Pull yourself together!”
After a few seconds of Kureha shaking me, I finally came back to my senses….T-That was dangerous, I almost walked over a line I’m never allowed to cross…I think I was getting close to meeting my old man.
“Nyahaha, sorry about that, Nii-san. I just got a bit excited.”
“Don’t worry about it. My body has probably gotten stiff over the days…Also, you’re finally back, huh.”
“Yup! Our home’s back to normal after all!” She grinned, and once again clung to me.
Well, I don’t blame her for being excited. This house burned down back in September, so it’s been a while since we got to feel each other’s warmth in here. Also…without her around, this doesn’t feel like the Sakamachi Family.
“For crying out loud, the way you siblings show affection is messed up as always.” There, an anime voice sounding like it came out of the 2D world rang inside my ears.
When I pushed up my body, I spotted a girl even smaller than Kureha—Narumi Schrödinger. The vice club president of Rouran Academy’s handicrafts club let out a sigh as she looked at us.
“S-Schrö-senpai, why are you here?”
“Huh? Don’t give me that, you proposal bastard.”
“Wha…what kind of mocking nickname is that?”
“Ahaha, you jumped up on stage at the opening ceremony, can’t blame me for giving you a fitting name, right? That was one hell of a sight. Topic’s been going around in every homeroom after the ceremony ended.”
“Urk…Well, I guess that’s to be expected…”
After all, the entire school found out that their prince Subaru-sama is actually a girl, and I went up and proposed to her. In front of all of them. There’s no way it wouldn’t blow up.
“…Kureha-chan?”
There, Konoe’s voice rang out. She seemed to have come to check up on who the visitor was.
“K-Konoe-senpai…” There, Kureha showed clear tension in her voice.
…Well, I don’t blame her. She’s liked Konoe before, and after being rejected back in November, she’s probably gotten over it, but…Sure is complicated alright, finding out that the boy you liked actually was a girl.
“…Ah, sorry, wrong way to address you.”
“Hm?” Konoe tilted her head, confused.
There, Kureha took a deep breath, and…
“S…Subaru-oneechan!”
“……”
Alright, hold on now, my sister. Where the hell did that come from?”
“Hey, Kureha, that came outta nowhere.”
“Eh? But…you and Konoe-senpai are going to get married, right? You proposed to her during the opening ceremony. That means she’ll become my sister-in-law.”
“But…”
“Isn’t it fine? I always wanted an older sister!” She grinned, showing a V-sign. Amazing…Her positive attitude is on an entirely different level. Even though she had feelings for Konoe before…
“……”
No, that’s not it. She was rejected back in November, and now it’s January. Quite some time has passed since then…that’s why Kureha managed to get up again.
‘Once I get a bit of rest…I’ll get up again. I’ll start walking again!’
On the day she was rejected, these were the words she told me. She stayed true to it, and got over her shock of being rejected.
“Nya? What’s wrong, Nii-san? Why are you staring at me like that?”
“I mean, I was just thinking…how strong you are.”
“Nyahaha! Where did that come from! That’s how we girls are!” She puffed out her chest in confidence.
Well, in her case, not only her heart is strong, but also her body. I was just turned into a punching bag all the time.
“But, I sure was surprised. To think Subaru-sama turned out to be a girl, and immediately gets a proposal from Nii-san.”
“Well, I don’t blame ya.”
“Yup. Not to mention…”
For some reason, Kureha started blushing, fidgeting awkwardly.
“Since you proposed to her…that means you two are…d-dating, right?”
“……”
…This is bad. Things suddenly got all awkward. I never knew that having someone from my family…not to mention my own little sister asking me about my relationship status.
“I-Isn’t that right, Subaru-oneechan?”
“Y-Yeah…Also, stop calling me that way, Kureha-chan. We still…haven’t gotten married yet.”
“I-I understand, Konoe-senpai.”
“Urk…”
For some reason, Konoe sounded a bit disappointed. Maybe she actually wanted to be called that way a bit longer? Well, she always wanted a younger sibling after all.
“By the way, Konoe-senpai, can I ask you something?”
“Eh? I don’t mind…” Konoe seemed somewhat confused.
However, Kureha showed no restraint as she continued.
“Konoe-senpai, what do you like about Nii-san?”
It sounded like heaven’s split. Hey now, hey now, what are you talking about so abruptly…How can she ask something so embarrassing out of nowhere?
“You’re right, I’m quite curious about that myself.”
“!”
Looking behind me, there stood Suzutsuki.
“S-Suzutsuki, you…!”
“What’s it matter? You two are going out already, and Kureha-chan is your little sister. That’s why, we’re all curious. Don’t you agree, Kureha-chan?”
“Yes! Since Konoe-senpai will be Nii-san’s future wife, I’m very interested!” Kureha showed no hesitation.
…That damn Devil Suzutsuki, she’s only pouring more gasoline into the fire. Or rather than that, she’s firing an entire rocket into there. In fact, Konoe was blushing furiously, as she glared at Suzutsuki.
“Now, tell us, Konoe-senpai. What do you like about Nii-san?”
“Urk…” Konoe bit her lip, trying to bear the embarrassment. If this was the past Konoe right now, I don’t think I’d be able to answer that question. However, she’s changed. She’s not lost her way anymore, thanks to everything that happened. Stacking these experiences, she’s made it this far.
“…Alright, I’ll say it then…”
She seemed to have made up her mind. Taking a deep breath, she suppressed her embarrassment, and spoke up—
“—Everything.”
“………”
…Alright, maybe you changed a bit too much, Subaru-sama. She’s grown even more than I thought she had. Look, even Suzutsuki doesn’t know how to respond. Also, everything…”
E-Everything?”
“Yeah…I like…everything about Jirou.”
“But…even he has flaws, you know? He can’t get up in the morning, he can’t cook, and there’s nothing great about his body other than how sturdy it is…”
“Hey, Kureha, I’m standing right here.”
“Ah, my bad, my bad. Then…Konoe-senpai. Nii-san is the greatest chicken bastard that has ever walked on this earth, you know?”
“Are you even listening to me!?”
Blurting out something I’m conscious about…Yeah, I’m a chicken who can’t win against his little sister…Though, I doubt there’s anybody who could win against her.
“It’s fine…Even that included, I like everything about Jirou.”
“Konoe-senpai…”
“Not to mention…even I have flaws. That’s why, we just have to accept each other’s flaws, and live on together.” Konoe said, still flustered.
Hearing all of that, Kureha nodded once.
“You’re right. I think that’s the best. Then, Konoe-senpai, please take care of Nii-san from now on.”
“Ah…Yeah, likewise, Kureha-chan.”
“If possible, I’d like for you two to have two children.”
“Why’d you suddenly bring that up!?”
“I mean, since you two will get married…Kyaa~”
“D-D-Don’t start blushing there! You’re jumping the gun! Also, it’s too early to talk about the number…”
“Then I want to decide on the names.”
“…Names?”
“Hansen and Brody1.”
“Why would I use names from foreign wrestlers!?”
“Ehhh, I think they’re cool! Konoe Hansen and Konoe Brody.”
“Yeah, no thanks…”
“But, I do think that having two children would be the best, you know? Just like Nii-san and me. If you get two, they’ll be strong like us!”
“S-Siblings like Kureha-chan and Jirou…” Konoe muttered, and looked over at me and Kureha.
A few seconds passed, to which Konoe showed a tense smile, saying ‘A-Aha…I’ll think about it…’, clearly hiding her honest feelings…Well, I get how she must feel. Honestly speaking, I wouldn’t want children like me and Kureha. I mean, the older brother is being used as a punching bag, right? Only one victim is needed here.
“Ahhh, can I just break between you all?” An anime voice interrupted the conversation between Kureha and Konoe.
That voice naturally belonged to Schrö-senpai. She played with her hair, and then…
“Kureha, I told you before. We came here for a reason. Won’t you prioritize that?”
“Nya…R-Right, my bad, vice captain.” Kureha showed a somewhat dejected reaction.
What? Why is she acting like that. Also, the way she said ‘We’…
“Come in already, will you.” Schrö-senpai looked at the door.
Following that, a shadow appeared, taking the shape of a girl wearing glasses and cat ears—Narumi Nakuru. She’s Schrö-senpai’s younger sister, and the president of the ‘Watch Over Subaru-sama with a Warm Gaze’ committee.
“H-Hello, Subaru-sama.”
“Nakuru-chan…”
Tension filled the air…As expected, you could say. Today, Konoe announced that she’s a girl, despite being known as the prince of the school. At the same time, Nakuru was the leader of her fanclub. Or rather, her main goal was to create BL books with the two of us. Either way, finding out that Konoe is a girl must be a huge shock for her. And, not everybody could be as positive about it as Kureha.
“…Subaru-sama.” With a serious expression, Nakuru spoke up. “You knew that two Subaru-sama fan clubs exist at Rouran Academy, right? The [S4] and the [Watch Over Committee]. Nakuru has come here…as a representative of both fanclubs.”
“…!” I swallowed my breath.
Basically…she came here to convey the opinions of both clubs? That would be bad. They all thought that Konoe was a girl…
“—It’s fine, Jirou.”
However, Konoe opened her mouth, almost like she had guessed what I was thinking.
“No need to be so worried. This is my problem, so I have to hear out Nakuru-chan.”
“Konoe…”
That’s right, we have to hear out Nakuru’s words, no matter what they may be. After all, they thought that Konoe was a girl.
“Nakuru-chan, tell me. I’m prepared.” She said, and looked directly at Nakuru.
She really…changed, huh. The previous Konoe never would have been able to do such a thing. No clue what Nakuru is about to say. Maybe she’s going to blame her. Maybe she’s going to reprimand her for acting like a boy. She might vent out her anger that she stored up. And yet, Konoe didn’t run away. She decided to face these problems.
“…Thank you very much, Subaru-sama.”
A heavy atmosphere reigned at the entrance. Nakuru opened her mouth. In that split second, I saw Konoe gulp down her saliva.
“—Please go on a date with Nakuru.”
Why…why is she the second person after Kureha who has gone batshit crazy today…Okay now hold on. What is this glasses junkie saying?
“U-Um…Nakuru-chan, what exactly do you mean by that?”
“That’s crystal clear! Nakuru wants to go on a date with Subaru-sama!”
“B-But, a date…” Subaru-sama was bewildered.
I don’t blame her. Nakuru came to meet her as the representative of both clubs, so she surely never would have imagined such a question. Not to mention, asking her out on a date…
“Hey now, Nakuru, you can’t just drop a bomb like that and not elaborate.” Schrö-senpai spoke up.
…Thank god, at least she knows how messy this is. Thanks to her I managed to get up after all. Surely, she should be able to get this situation under control.
“I mean, Subaru-sama is Onii-chan’s girlfriend, remember? If she went on a date with you, she’d practically be cheating.”
“………”
For a moment, a horrible premonition filled my chest…I forgot. She might be a good and reliable person, but sometimes she goes a bit crazy. She’s a different kind of troublemaker compared to Suzutsuki.
“Fueh? But then, what should Nakuru do, Onee-chan?”
“Hehe.” Schrö-senpai let out a confident snort. “Ain’t that obvious? If a date between just you and Subaru-sama is a problem, then have someone tag along. In other words…” She said, and pointed at me.
“Onii-chan, you join them on their date.”
“Wha…why me!?”
“I mean, you two are going out, right? Perfect then, if the boyfriend is present, it doesn’t count as cheating.”
“Y-You’re not wrong, but…”
I don’t think that Konoe would cheat on me with Nakuru. I mean…those two are girls…Ah, right. Until today, Nakuru thought that Konoe was a boy, yeah. But, didn’t she enjoy the coupling with me and Subaru-sama more than invading that…
“With just Nakuru, Subaru-sama, and Onii-chan, it’s a bit unbalanced, right.” Narumi Schrödinger interrupted my thoughts.
The ultra small handicrafts vice club president dropped the third bombshell for today.
“That’s why…I’ll tag along.”
“…Excuse me?”
“No ‘excuse me’, okay. I’m saying that I’ll tag along. It’ll be the four of us. Would give it a better balance, right? Basically, what I’m trying to say…” She smiled, and continued. “Let’s go on a double date.”
“……”
Yeah, I expected as much. Both Narumi Nakuru and Narumi Schrödinger are unpredictable.
1 Professional wrestlers
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