Chapter 62 – Are You Avoiding Me?
The air filling Kaligo’s bedroom rushed inside the Grand Duchess’ bedroom. Ashia involuntarily swallowed her saliva. It seemed like the warmth resembling him and the body scent that embraced her came out to welcome her.
“Hmmm….”
Ashia was startled when she heard him groaning in his sleep and covered her mouth, stifling a gasp.
‘No, I’m not even here to steal anything nor commit any crime, so why am I feeling so nervous?’
Was it because she sneaked in? Well, what about it? He said she could come in anytime.’
Ashia raised her eyebrows and slowly moved. She took her steps more carefully for fear that she would wake him up from his deep sleep. When she did, she felt like she really came to steal something…
She walked lightly and headed to the bed where he was sleeping. It wasn’t until Ashia sat on the edge of his bed that she heard his breathing.
‘I think brewing him tea was even more effective than having him drink potions.’
Her heart throbbed as she looked at his weary face and his shallow breathing like a newborn baby. It was hard to find the cold expression he had on his face when he was awake. He even looked somewhat naïve and defenseless.
Ashia chuckled at his clearly different appearance. Just then, his thick fingers at the end of his long arms twitched. But he didn’t wake up.
He must have been very tired.
Ashia got off the bed and sat on the floor. She rested her chin on the bed and stared at his profile.
‘Why did you do that?’
He visited her shop every day and looked for her, saying that there wasn’t much work.
It made it seem like his position of Grand Duke was better for eating and playing than his title of Duke. Compared to the days when he was a Duke who was obsessed with working, he really had nothing to do now that he was a Grand Duke.
She had such vague thoughts like that. But it was only when she saw the tall piles of paperwork on his desk that she realized what he had given up and what he had left behind just to see her.
‘Is it worth it? Us?’
Ashia’s eyebrows slightly lowered in an instant.
‘Isn’t it better to live our own lives after dying once? Why did I meet him again? This could just pass by flipping the pages of the book in the bookshelf, but what was the difference when I met him again? God may exist even if we are inside a book. So should I call this God’s trick?’
Hundreds and thousands of times a day, her heart was still confused about Kaligo. Even though they said that a woman’s mind was unpredictable, she took great confidence in living her second life as Ashia. But in the future, she might not be able to give an answer that would satisfy everyone.
‘Is this the right thing to do? What if my choices put myself, you, and the people around me in danger? If that really happens, then… things will happen because of me again.’
She didn’t think she could continue living on in that case.
It was fear. The wind rocking her was her fear. Her serene daily life was like the calm before the storm. It caused fear to grow in her heart. Moreover, she had failed to push Kaligo away. No law stipulated that a confidence that collapsed once wouldn’t collapse the second or third time.
But that was why,
‘You have to hold me… Every time [I] was shaken, every time [I] collapsed, every time [I] turned my back and pushed away. [I] started to believe that the person who would continue to hold me without getting tired would be Kaligo.’
“I will continuously ask you for a hundred and thousand times,” Ashia cautiously reached out her hand to Kaligo, “whether I can trust you, whether you can stand my selfish choices… I will keep checking again and again.”
Kaligo’s eyes slightly opened as she touched his cheek. Through his half open eyelids, his red eyes looked straight at Ashia even in the dark.
“…Kaligo.”
“…”
Was it an illusion? It seemed to be the sound of his low-pitched laughter in the silence. And as if to confirm that wasn’t an illusion, a smile spread across his face.
Kaligo’s hand broke through the covers and grabbed Ashia’s hand which had touched his cheek. His still drowsy eyes stared at Ashia. He put the tips of Ashia’s fingers on his lips and lightly kissed them.
“Are you awake?”
He only laughed at her question. His kiss gradually deepened. When Ashia tried to pull her hand away from him, Kaligo grabbed her by the arm instead and pulled her up.
“Ah!”
Tugged into his arms, Ashia let out a short scream. When she came to her senses, she found herself lying on the place where he had been lying. He was on top of her as if it was only natural. Kaligo kissed her face all over with a hazy gaze.
“Ka-Kaligo.”
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