Chapter 35： No morality, no responsibility

After the two returned to the villa, Uncle Li who drove Mu Xiaoya to the past also followed. As soon as he entered the door, he hurried over to see Shirakawa, but found that Shirakawa was sitting quietly in the restaurant for dinner.

"Second is all right," Uncle Li asked worriedly.

"It's okay." Mu Xiaoya shook her head gently.

"How could it happen suddenly?" Li Shu asked after a sigh of relief, and Shirakawa had never been sick before on the way to work or by car.

"I made an appointment with Shirakawa at six o'clock in the evening. He was stuck in a traffic jam, and he was anxious, so ... he blame me." Mu Xiaoya blame.

"How can you blame you." Uncle Li did not expect that Shirakawa would suddenly get sick because he could not return home in time, but this should not be the fault of Madam Er Shao. The fault lies in ...

What went wrong? Blame Er Shao too attached, too unaware of the change, or still care too much about the agreement with Grandma Er Shao? If you have to blame the same, then you can only blame the second-few. Uncle Li looked at Mu Xiaoya, who was blaming herself, and suddenly felt a little uncomfortable.The second and second grandma were good children, and they were such a right pair.

"Fortunately, Xiaochuan is okay, just be anxious. Uncle Li, call your parents and let them not worry about it." Mu Xiaoya smiled and asked Uncle Li, she knew that Li Shu had surely put Baichuan The illness was told to the other members of the Bai family.

"Okay." Uncle Li went to call, but the husband and wife were already on their way back. After listening to them, they knew what they were saying. They didn't seem to want to come back.

After Bai Guoyu and Li Rong returned home, Shirakawa has recovered and is no different, with a calm mood and a rosy complexion. They put down their hearts and comforted Mu Xiaoya again, but did not say anything reproachful, but just told Mu Xiaoya a few words. Remind her that Shirakawa's autism caused Shirakawa's personality to be stubborn and unreliable, and her concept of time was extremely strong. When she got along with Shirakawa, try not to stay at a specific time. Because if there is an accident that makes it impossible to reach an agreement, Shirakawa will be irritable.

"Xiaoya, your parents said this just to remind you in good faith, not that you did something wrong. Xiaochuan will do this, you must be surprised, this thing does not blame you, you must not take it to heart." Wan Li Rong was worried that Mu Xiaoya would think more.

"I know, I was only with Xiaochuan for a long time. I do n’t know many of his habits. You remind me that it is also for me. I will pay attention to it later." Where will Mu Xiaoya not know what Li Rong means, she thought I didn't think much about it, just that Shirakawa was because of her illness today, and she couldn't help but blame herself.

"Just understand."

"Dad, mom, I went up to see Xiaochuan." Mu Xiaoya worried about Shirakawa and got up and went back to the bedroom.

After Mu Xiaoya left, Li Rong was still frowning. She looked at her husband anxiously: "You said, Xiaoya would think that Xiaochuan is too troublesome."

Bai Guoyu groaned for a moment and said, "Xiao Ya said nothing, guessed nothing."

"Don't I worry? If Xiaoya feels that Ogawa is in trouble and wants to leave ..."

"We promised Xiaoya's parents, if Xiaoya were to leave, she would never stop." Bai Guoyu reminded, although he did not want Mu Xiaoya to leave.

"I'm ... afraid of Xiaochuan's sadness." If Mu Xiaoya really wanted to leave, Li Rong wouldn't stop or stand in the way, but as long as she thought of Shirakawa, she couldn't bear it.

"Don't think about it, and ..." Bai Guoyu said, "Let ’s talk as little as possible about Xiaochuan and Xiaoya."

"You also think, I just reminded Xiaoya deliberately, Xiaoya would think more?" Li Rong worried.

"No. I just think that Xiaoya married to our house alone, and our family cares too much about Ogawa for a long time, so there will be misunderstandings. I think, let them move out." Bai Guoyu suggested, " In this way, some contradictions can be avoided in advance. "

"What if Ogawa recurs?" Li Rong was disturbed.

"Can you just call Ogawa to calm down in the car?" Bai Guoyu asked his wife.

No, Li Rong knew that all they could do was to keep Shirakawa from harming himself before calming down.

When Mu Xiaoya returned to the bedroom, Shirakawa was sitting at his desk writing something.

"Ogawa, it's almost time to take a bath and rest." Shirakawa was just sick, and Mu Xiaoya thought he should rest early.

Shirakawa finished the last, and left the desk obediently, took the pajamas that Mu Xiaoya handed him, and went to the bathroom to take a shower.

When the sound of water came from the bathroom, Mu Xiaoya walked to the desk with curiosity and wanted to see what Shirakawa was writing. It was a loose-leaf notebook. Shirakawa did not close the notebook. The notebook was spread out on the desk. On the white paper, Shirakawa wrote a dense sheet of paper with a beautiful handwriting: it was six o'clock, and he was going home. .

With this one glance, Mu Xiaoya endured the tears of the night, and fell down instantly, suddenly she didn't even respond to herself, why she cried.

"I've washed it." Mu Xiaoya was too long. Shirakawa didn't know when he had finished washing and stood next to Mu Xiaoya.

"Okay, then I'll wash it too." Mu Xiaoya turned to leave, but was suddenly caught by Shirakawa.

"You're crying," Shirakawa frowned, asking with some blame, "Is it because I didn't go home on time today?"

"No." Mu Xiaoya wiped her tears in a hurry, as if she could wipe the tears to cover up the fact that she had cried.

"Why cry then?" Shirakawa wondered.

"I didn't really cry."

"Crying." Shirakawa's tone was firm, his eyes brightened, an expression that I saw clearly.

"..." At this time, Mu Xiaoya eagerly wanted to be alone for a while, to sort out the bad emotions in her heart at this time, but Shirakawa couldn't understand or understand her words, but she was persistent. Ask her why she is crying. Mu Xiaoya didn't know how to answer, because there were too many emotions piled up, and she couldn't tell why she was crying. She just felt tired and sad.

"I don't want to say, can you?" Mu Xiaoya's voice pleaded with a hint.

Shirakawa froze, struggling for a while, and suddenly leaned over and hugged Mu Xiaoya, slowly humming softly in her ear: "Don't cry, hug."

"Woohoo ..." The emotions that Mu Xiaoya accumulated in her heart, trying to sort out her own emotions by taking a bath, in Shirakawa's words like coaxing a child, leaked out like a flood that opened the gate.

"I just want to cry. Why do you keep asking, keep asking?"

"No question, no question." Shirakawa clumsily clapped Mu Xiaoya's back.

After a meal was released, Mu Xiaoya's mood was much better, and she and Shirakawa lay in bed early after washing. Before going to bed, Shirakawa stared at Mu Xiaoya with a restless expression. I had something to say in his face, not the expression that I couldn't sleep.

"What do you want to say?" Mu Xiaoya was helpless.

"I want to say." Shirakawa immediately sat up from the quilt excitedly. "I won't ask you what you don't want to say in the future, don't you cry?"

"... No!" Mu Xiaoya thought she was a little bit crying now. "I cry when I want to cry, why don't you let me cry."

"That ... then you can do it." Shirakawa lay back innocently. Grandma is right, women's thinking is really complicated.

The next morning.

At the breakfast table, Mu Xiaoya's mental state was obviously not very good. The other members of the Bai family saw each other and knew what was going on. They didn't say anything silently. For a time, the atmosphere on the table was somewhat depressed.

After having breakfast, Mu Xiaoya sent Shirakawa to the door. Today, Shirahama also went to the company, so Shirakawa can go to the company directly by Shirahama's car without waiting for the driver to pick it up.

"I will be back at six o'clock today." Before entering the car, Shirakawa assured Mu Xiaoya again very seriously.

When Mu Xiaoya heard this, she had a smile on her face and froze. Again? Is it necessary to come once a day in the future?

"I will arrange for the driver to return to Ogawa before six o'clock." Bai Yan suddenly glanced at Mu Xiaoya who froze and said suddenly.

Mu Xiaoya glanced at Bai Yan, and understood the other party's meaning, and thanked with a smile.

"... Leave." Bai Yan said no more, opened the door and left.

Mu Xiaoya's look now is very familiar. It can be said that every once in a while, he and his parents' faces will appear. It is the mood of entanglement with responsibility, stress, fatigue, and distress. It is the mood when you really realize that taking care of Shirakawa is not easy, and this kind of mood is only owned by those who really care about Shirakawa. He hoped that Mu Xiaoya could find a way to deal with the stress, and also respected Mu Xiaoya's decision after poor resolution.

"Wait a moment." At this moment, Mu Xiaoya called Bai Bai suddenly.

Bai's motion of getting on the car was a pause and he looked over again.

"Well, the driver who brought Ogawa back yesterday, Master Ma. He seemed to be accidentally injured by Ogawa because he wanted to stop Ogawa from hitting the door." Mu Xiaoya discovered the driver's face injury when she came back yesterday, but she At that time, only taking care of Shirakawa, there was no time to ask too much.

"... I see." Bai Min paused for a moment, nodded and knew what to do. Yesterday, thanks to the cleverness of the driver, the door was locked. If you accidentally let Shirakawa run off the car in that situation, the consequences would not be imaginable.

Haiyuan Road.

Fang Hui drove to work in a spirited manner, and before the car entered the parking lot, he saw Audi from Mu Xiaoya all the way. She wondered why Mu Xiaoya was earlier than her here this morning, but she found that Mu Xiaoya was sitting in the driver's seat in a daze, and the car didn't even go out.

What is this girl doing?

"What are you doing?" Fang Hui parked his car and couldn't help but walk over to knock on the window.

"Fang Hui?" Mu Xiaoya looked back.

"I'm going, a big pair of panda eyes. Are you indulging too much through the night or are you worried that our shoes are sold all night?" Fang Hui couldn't help but tease.

"Because Ogawa." Mu Xiaoya replied weakly.

"Because ..." Fang Hui's expression changed abruptly. Looking at Mu Xiaoya's eyes suddenly showed a "yellow" light, "It's really over-indulgence, you have finally become a real married woman ..."

"Fang Hui, I'm going out for a trip, and come back in the afternoon." Mu Xiaoya ignored Fang Hui, as if suddenly made a decision, usually put the car in reverse.

"..." Fang Hui was bathed in a large body of exhaust, "What the hell?"

Mu Xiaoya went directly to Yuncheng University after leaving the studio. She decided to talk to Professor Feng.

Suddenly, Mu Xiaoya could only go to Professor Feng's office to try her luck. She was told that Professor Feng had a class in the morning, and she went to the large classroom where Professor Feng was taking a class and listened quietly. She waited until the students on the podium to ask Professor Feng's questions left, and then she got up from her seat and smiled at Professor Feng.

"Is something wrong with Ogawa?" On the tree-lined avenue of Yuncheng University, the two talked about Shirakawa while walking.

"You see it?"

"Even if you don't see it, it's almost time for you to come to me?" Professor Feng said.

"How to say?" Mu Xiaoya was puzzled.

"It's not easy to get along with people with autism. Although Ogawa has recovered very well, there are still many places different from ordinary people. Normal couples will have problems with each other over time, not to mention you and Ogawa." Professor Feng He said, "You're here later than I expected."

Mu Xiaoya smiled bitterly.

"But you can come to me, I'm still very happy." Facing Mu Xiaoya's surprised look, Professor Feng laughed, "This proves that you have no intention to give up Ogawa, you came to me, you want Ogawa to change Better, right? "

"Well." This is exactly what Mu Xiaoya thought.

"Go, have a cup of tea in my office and see if I can help you." Professor Feng smiled with relief and led Mu Xiaoya to his office.

In the office, Mu Xiaoya explained the situation before and after Shirakawa's onset with Professor Feng in detail. Professor Feng listened carefully and then said.

"Usually, people with autism are disrupted in their self-defined trajectories, or fail to complete what they think they must do. If they cannot be done immediately, it will be difficult for them to calm down in a short time."

"I know, it was because of this that Ogawa was sick yesterday." Mu Xiaoya nodded.

"No, you understand me wrong." Professor Feng laughed. "Yesterday, Xiaochuan did not return home, but you calmed him down."

"Is there anything wrong with this?" Mu Xiaoya asked.

"No, it's very good, very good." Professor Feng said two in a row, and his voice was a little excited. "I don't know that adaptation is a common feature of autistic patients, but yesterday, you let Xiaochuan learn to adapt."

"Working?" Mu Xiaoya stunned.

"Yes." Professor Feng said, "We have always thought that autism is actually like a glass cover, which separates autistic patients from our normal people, but once we break through this glass cover, we can communicate smoothly. In fact, people with autism are not much different from us in general. In theory, what normal people can do, they can also do it. "

"The way you handled yesterday was a very successful case. When Ogawa couldn't rush home in time, you offered to go to him, he understood and accepted, and then he calmed down. Although, this is due to you Good communication skills, and Ogawa's high acceptance of the message you passed, but at that moment, you made Ogawa realize that there is another possibility for the solution of one thing. This is almost common sense for ordinary people It ’s very difficult for autistic patients, especially emotional autistic patients. If you can make Ogawa aware of this, he can slowly learn to adapt. ”

"Autonomous awareness? What should I do?" Mu Xiaoya frowned.

"Don't worry, don't be too stressed. Didn't I just say that, this requires good communication." Professor Feng smiled and appeased, "So, you have done a good job now, as long as you stay with him like this , He will naturally grow up slowly. "

"I know, I will." Mu Xiaoya promised.

"After talking about Xiaochuan, let's talk about you." Professor Feng suddenly said.

"Me?" Mu Xiaoya froze.

"In fact, relatives of autistic patients need psychological counseling more than autistic patients." Professor Feng said with a hint, "Actually, autistic patients only live in their own world, they have no stress, and I do n’t feel the pressure, it ’s the family that accompanies them. In the nursing home, more than half of the parents give up their children's rehabilitation treatment every year. And every so often, parents leave children with autism in In front of the sanitarium. "

"I didn't want to give up." Mu Xiaoya hurriedly explained.

"Don't be excited, I just want to tell you that if you feel tired and sad, even if you have the idea of ​​giving up, it's normal. Don't blame yourself too much, don't give yourself too much pressure. When? I want to chat, you can come to me at any time. "Professor Feng said.

Mu Xiaoya understood the meaning of Professor Feng's words. Professor Feng was afraid that she would be trapped in the huge circle responsible for Shirakawa who must not give up Shirakawa. She was abducted by this self-ethical moral abduction, and was finally pressured Overwhelmed. Seeing that she is not in a good mental state today, she is counselling her to relieve stress.

However, where would she be kidnapped by morals? She never even thought that she had any noble sentiments. If so, she should have promised Shirakawa's marriage proposal in the last life.

What she is doing now is all she wants and wants to do.

No morality, no responsibility.

She has experienced a world without Shirakawa, and she does not yearn for it. Compared with the two, she cherishes the present even more.

"Thank you Professor Feng, I understand what you mean. I will not trap myself inside." Mu Xiaoya replied.

No matter joy or sadness, it is the future she is willing to go with Shirakawa. She was too short, how could she let it go easily.