Chapter 7

Chapter 7

“I’ll call the doctor again!”

Rosalind nodded her head slightly at the maid’s cheerful voice.

It wasn’t long before the elderly doctor arrived. After he politely asked for an understanding, he carefully looked around Rosalind. He looked into her mouth, made her make a loud voice, and lightly touched her forehead and wrist. After examining several more places in succession, the doctor opened his mouth in a soft voice.

“The fever seems to have gone down a lot, and your condition has improved. It looks like you’re going to be healthy soon.”

“Then I’m glad…….”

“I think the best treatment would be to take a break while resting, it’s not a special illness. Still, I will prescribe some more medicine just in case.”

“It’s all thanks to your hard work.”

Rosalind smiled sweetly, thanking him, and spoke quietly to the maids.

“I’m sorry, but could you please stay back for a moment?”

The maids looked dazed for a moment, but quickly moved out of the bedroom. Once alone with the doctor, Rosalind, who had been silent for a while, gently licked her lips.

“Anything to say…….”

“Could you give me some medicine to make it easier to have a child?”

Surprised, the doctor responded in a slightly raised voice.

“A medicine to have a child?”

“I’ve been married for quite some time, but I don’t have any children…….”

“You are still young.”

“Still, if you look around, everyone seems to be raising children and living happily ever after, but I wondered if it would be better if we had children.”

She looked like she was awkwardly smiling.

She has been married to him for a little over a year. It was a little strange that she didn’t become pregnant even though he poured so many seeds into her. Other couples who married around the same time had started having children one by one, and some are already raising them. She was a little worried, even though she was happy to congratulate them on the news that someone was pregnant and had a baby.

‘Why am I still…….’

“With all due respect, but have you ever had a child at least once?”

Rosalind shook her head.

“I think it would be better to talk to the one who was with me rather than me.”

The sound of the doctor’s voice sounded a little daunting, but Rosalind had no choice but to nod her head. The doctor left for a while and soon returned with a woman who looked younger. Doctors were usually men, but women from noble families were often seen by women doctors.

“My name is Sophia.”

Her voice was calm as she spread her skirt and greeted politely.

“Although she is young, she is smart and calm, and she is a good doctor in many ways. She would be better in Madam’s gynecology than me. So, I think it would be better for Sophia to look after you rather than me.”

“If you don’t mind, may I take a closer look?”

As she nodded her head, Sophia began to examine her more closely. She even put her hands on her stomach and asked about her menstrual cycle and the marital relationship. She felt ashamed and embarrassed, but she believed she had to follow the doctor’s directions, and she answered frankly.

She asked a few more questions, then Sophia, who had been asking questions, continued with a face that looked a bit confused.

“You have a very slow pulse, and your stomach and body are quite cold.”

“Ah, when I was young, I often got sick and had a fever, so I took a lot of medicines and foods to cool my fever. So is that alright?”

“What medications did you take?”

“I’m not sure, but I remember taking something like a medicine to lower body heat. Did I have it while I was sick? Thanks to that, the fever went down and I got better…….”

Rosalind looked at Sophia with anxious eyes at the question that felt a little tenacious. Sophia hesitated as if she was going to say something she did not want to, and then she cautiously opened her mouth.

“I’m sorry to say this, but…….”

After she stopped talking for a moment, as if swallowing a sigh, she lowered her gaze.

“I have a rough idea of ​​what medication you were taking at that time. Your body is naturally weak, and if you take such drugs for a long time, there have been quite a few cases where it impacts the uterus due to side effects. So, to put it simply…….”

Sophia couldn’t open her mouth willingly, and after a while, she looked at her as if she had made up her mind.

“Pregnancy can be difficult. You have a high risk of infertility.”

She couldn’t understand what Sophia said.

She couldn’t even tell if she had heard it properly.

Her face faded from a gentle smile and froze as if it had been stuffed. Rosalind looked back desperately, as if she couldn’t believe it.

“No, are you kidding me? Pregnant…. I can’t get pregnant?”

“Of course, it’s just a probability, and you’re not very hopeless because you’re not that old. So don’t worry too much. Once I prescribe medicine to warm the body…….”

Not a single word was heard, and only the word ‘infertility’ continuously echoed in Rosalind’s mind.

…… infertility.

Am I infertile? Nonsense.

Rosalind asked, shaking her head.

“Why are you joking like that?”

And she murmured, as if she genuinely did not know.

“…… I can’t be infertile. Does it make sense that I might not be able to have children? What nonsense…….”

It was really absurd. Could she be infertile?

She gripped the hem of her dress and let it go. Her hair, which was messed up like fumbling, was also brushed. She let out an awkward laugh and chewed her lips. Her tone and actions were somehow bustling as she couldn’t get into anything.

Sophia looked at her with sad eyes. And when she met her wandering gaze, she spoke calmly. It was a gentle tone, as if to soothe.

“You are not completely infertile, it’s just a probability. It is by no means unconditional…….”

“Where did that come from?”

“…… Madam.”

“Why do I have such a chance? Why, why such a nonsensical thing…….It can’t be, it can’t! Maybe it was a misdiagnosis, yes, I think it was a misdiagnosis! Everyone makes mistakes, so even a veteran doctor can make a mistake.”

As she thought of the word ‘misinformation’, she nodded her head as if convincing herself. The voice asking if it was a mistake could be heard even earnestly. Then she muttered to herself, and then opened her mouth again as if pleading.

“Is it a misdiagnosis?”

Sophia didn’t answer.

“Say it was a misdiagnosis.”

The doctor was honest. The surrounding was quiet with only the sound of her begging, please. She had never felt honesty to be so cruel. It was also the first time for a girl who looked younger than her to say so desperately.

“…… My opinion does not change. But I don’t think it would be a bad idea to get a second opinion from another doctor.”

The words that came out at the end of the silence sounded horrifying.

Rosalind didn’t even respond to a single word. After a moment of silence, she calmed herself down a bit and looked back at Sophia slowly. The dismissal she spat out at Sophia had softened.

“It’s enough, so you can go. Thank you so much for your hard work. And first of all, I want the Duke to not be told of this.”

“Yes. I will prescribe a medicine to warm the body. So don’t worry too much. There is no such thing as 100% in the world.”

In response to Sophia’s answer, Rosalind nodded her head faintly.

The doctor bowed her head politely and left the room. She stared for a long while at the place the doctor had stood, as if she were seeing an afterimage she left at the door. The words she had just heard were still ringing in her ears.

‘You have a high probability of infertility.’

Infertility?

To see the figure of her sitting calmly, it might seem she had regained her composure at first glance, but in reality, she had just stiffened.

Her mind was not made up, and she was dazed as if she had been hit hard in her head. The figure she pretended was lying came over, but she remained frozen. It felt like everything wasn’t real, and she didn’t even know what to do. The sadness and reality didn’t seem to fit together.

“…… What should I do?”

Strangely, her blood felt cold.

She had always drawn certain landscapes in her mind. The look she used to dream of. A couple holding a child’s hand and walking affectionately, a loving and ordinary family resounding with the laughter of a smiling child…….

It wasn’t that she wished for a pregnancy solely for the child.

In fact, the selfishness of wanting to receive her husband’s love through a child was greater than her desperation to have a child. Of course, it would be very happy to see the child she loves between her husband and herself, but before that thought, she wanted her husband to love her.

It was clear that her greed was interfering with it. So was she being punished?

“…… I can’t have children, I can’t have children…….”

She repeated the doctor’s words as if muttering an incantation. As she heard it aloud in her own voice, she felt blemished.

She had seen a pregnant couple before. For the wife suffering from morning sickness, the husband is helpless and lovingly takes care of her, and the wife relies on such a husband. Then, when she gives birth to a child, they raise it with love. To others, it may be just an ordinary daily life, but it was what she had dreamed of.

But she might never see it like that. Nonsense.

“I am infertile.”

Without realizing it, a laugh came out.

“Still, still…….”

Still, she thought that every moment she lived her life to the fullest, doing her best. She lived her life trying to be as shameless as possible for him, herself, and heaven. Even if it’s not perfect, she’s always tried not to embarrass herself.

Sadness rose to the nape of her neck.

The laughter disappeared, and tears that seemed to burst at any moment took its place. It just seemed crazy to think that a daily life that is so easy for others can be difficult for her. Should she live as a couple even though forever hated by him?