Chapter 3 - Yoo Jonghyuk's side quest #2: The solo reader.
Kim Dokja dumbly stared at the older man sitting before him, with his mouth agape that kept closing and opening again, just like a small goldfish. An expression of pure confusion was plastered on his entire face. His brain had already left him long ago and now he was in a 'technical difficulties' situation.
"Hyung's name is... Yoo Jonghyuk?"
Kim Dokja was laughing when he inquired again as if he wanted this to be just some sort of bad joke or maybe that it was all a sick coincidence. Yoo Jonghyuk, how cool sounding and awe-inspiring is that name? But would a parent really name their kid like that? Isn't this giving them to much pressure for their future? If they grew up to be a normal salaryman with a cool sounding name, wouldn't they be picked on?! Wait... It's alright to be a normal salaryman who has a cool sounding name, but what if he got a lame name! At the sudden realization, Kim Dokja's mind already strayed away from its main focus. Now the only thought swirling inside his mind was 'I don't want to be a normal salaryman with a lame sounding name!'
The memories of the times when he was mocked because of his name were still clear. Just because his name was a little bit more 'special' than the others, he always got targeted! Thinking about the cool looking man in front of him, that stone-cold face! It must be the protection he created for himself! A façade he used to fend off all bad comments! Kim Dokja couldn't help but silently weep for the fate of this comrade of his.
Before Yoo Jonghyuk could even give an answer, the young teen hastily covered his mouth with both hands and looked at the man in front of him with a complicated gaze, followed by a pitying one, then he nodded and said.
"It's okay hyung! If you prefer, I will just call you hyung! I won't carelessly say your name! I understand your struggle!"
Baffled by the teen sudden action and seeing so many emotions expressed in such a short amount of time, the regressor worried about this young Kim Dokja's emotional stability. Yoo Jonghyuk wanted to speak, but his mouth was still covered with those freshly bandaged hands.
Seeing the older man furrowing his brows again, Kim Dokja started to panic. He couldn't help but feel oppressed by the sole thought he had just unlocked some traumatic episode that the other party wanted to forget!
Yoo Jonghyuk silently watched as the young teen entered in an even more unstable state. The corners of his eyes started to twitch as he peered at the anxious boy, the regressor had the sudden urge to beat up 'someone' like he always did when 'someone' irked him.
Shutting his eyes was the only way he had to control the building anger inside of him. What eyes don't see, heart won't grieve. He can't raise his hands against a kid. The one receiving the short end of the stick, plus a sentence in jail, was definitely going to be him. Would Yoo Jonghyuk even consider doing something so disadvantageous towards himself? Wasting this rare opportunity to visit the past just to get confined behind some iron bars?
The regressor felt as if his limits were tested again and again today. Forcefully removing the hands that were hindering his ability to speak, he wanted to clarify the situation before he gives in and starts sorting into domestic violence. But before he could even do that, Kim Dokja made a sudden attack!
The regressor rested frozen on the spot, head still nestled in that warm hug, not reacting a single bit because he was clearly too dumbfounded to do anything coherent with the situation. If before the one deserted by his brain, leaving him with a 'technical difficulties' banner was Kim Dokja, now that person is Yoo Jonghyuk. The cold and calculative protagonist of 'Three ways to survive in a ruined world', a savant in many ways, yet when it comes to a 'certain' person he always seems to stray away from the designated path.
Kim Dokja understands that sometimes a silent comforting embrace meant more than any type of cheerful encouragements. He always wanted that type of comfort too, but he never got one. However, that didn't mean he would do the same if another person was in need of it. He would definitely care for the latter! Because, deep down, he wanted to be shown the same care back.
Sometimes, being cared for by someone can also be a scary thing. Showing them your most vulnerable and ugly side, just hoping not to get rejected in the end. 'Maybe being uncared can also be a blessing.' was what the young teen started to tell himself when the light at the end of the tunnel started dimming down further and further. Suddenly, he felt all the past struggles surging up again through his silent tears.
Unconsciously tightening his grip around Yoo Jonghyuk, the small body started to lightly tremble. The regressor noticed it and when he looked up to see what was happening, the visage of a quietly crying Kim Dokja greeted him. To his dismay, he was faced, yet again with another arduous task.
「 Are you suffering from bipolar disorder? 」
With an unreadable expression, a part of Yoo Jonghyuk really wanted to yank Kim Dokja away, but at the same time, he couldn't bear to do that. That lean body pressed against his sturdy one, those soft sobbing sounds accompanied by the rhythmic clatter of the rain hitting against the windows were the only things echoing in that room. Time seemed to pass so slowly as the regressor remained unfazed, he was spacing out and looked frustrated to the core.
In reality, he was just looking at the system message that had appeared out of nowhere.
+
[Side quest #2 - The solo reader]
Difficulty: ???
Clear conditions: ???
Time-limit: One week
Compensation: ???
Failure: ㅡ
*There are additional clear conditions.
*No constellation interference allowed.
+
Everything rushed at him so fast, he didn't even realize that he had already forgotten the main purpose for all of this. Kim Dokja isn't a prophet, yet knew so much of Yoo Jonghyuk's life. The other apostles said that the knowledge they had gained was from a story they once read. A story...
Unconsciously, the older man raised up his arms and locked the teenager's slim waist in his embrace. This sudden action made Kim Dokja yelp in surprise, shocking him awake from his daze. Realizing what an embarrassing sound he had just let out, the young teen wanted nothing more than shrinking into the ground right in this instant. Looking at the big head nuzzled against his nape, Kim Dokja could feel the rising heat on his face, and the latter's hot breath hitting against his bȧrė skin didn't help at all!
It couldn't be helped, the young teen hadn't received any normal human skinship contact from anyone since a long time ago. The last time he had one, was probably just when his mother was still living with him. Kim Dokja wasn't exactly the type that would initialize the first move, usually, the guy was just too shy or straight up awkward. But this time, he had initiated everything out of his sense of guilt, totally forgetting about this little social anxiety of his, and now that the other party responded back to his action... A total pandemonium started in his heart. When speaking, his stuttering skills were definitely on the front line. Destroying not the hostile army, but the friendly one.
"H-Hyung?"
"You don't like my name?" asked Yoo Jonghyuk.
"I-It's not..."
"Then you like my name."
"B-But..."
"Then you hate it?"
"H-Hyung! L-Let me speak!"
"H-Hyung!!"
Yoo Jonghyuk didn't want to admit it, but teasing the young boy in his arms and looking at that flustered face, really, and I mean really. Gave him some strange sense of accomplishment. Seeing Kim Dokja's expression that was literally screaming 'Hyung-is-bullying-me' like a little brother throwing a tantrum, such an expression made the older man imagine about the 'adult' Kim Dokja making such a face. That thought alone was funny enough to break that millennium ice-cold face, earning a deep and sėxy chuckle from the regressor.
"So why you like my name?"
"L-Like?!"
The poor teen was already on the verge of tears again, he had invited a bully inside his home! But still, he couldn't refute the latter. Because after all, he really liked that name. 'Yoo Jonghyuk' may be cold and calculative, but he is also a very charismatic and cool character. Sometimes when Kim Dokja needed a big boost in his confidence, he would just yell 'I am Yoo Jonghyuk!' and everything would be alright.
But that was about the 'Yoo Jonghyuk' inside the story. How can he even say those things in front of a real person called Yoo Jonghyuk! How shameful and embarrassing would be to admit what he really felt!
"It's because of a novel I'm reading... The protagonist name is the same as hyung's."
「 So there's really a story... 」
Kim Dokja was getting ready to get laughed at, some time passed, but he kept sensing no reaction at all. Truthfully speaking, being hugged in the waist and forced into a kneeling position on the sofa wasn't exactly the most comfortable position ever. As the teen was about to start struggling his way out the older man finally spoke again.
With a dumbfounded look in his face, the young teen picked up Yoo Jonghyuk's head to face him. Kim Dokja's eyes were glittering but contained also a little bit of uncertainty. Dreading to have just misheard the latter.
"You... Want to know?"
The regressor stared at those glistering eyes filled with anticipation, slowly nodding his head leaving the young teen with a blank expression on his face. Two figures dressed in loose pajamas hugged each other in that evening, the larger figure quietly looked up at the dazed teen. Unsure about how much time had already passed, Kim Dokja finally shook himself awake and with a blooming smile spreading from ear to ear, he nodded. Everything seemed to fade away, the light, the sounds, and all the surroundings were only just a mere blurry background for both of them.
***
「 It was expected. 」
"■■■■ then ■■■■■■■■ Yoo Jonghyuk ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■... "
"■■■■■■■■■■■■..."
"■■■■■■ the constellation ■■■■■■■■■..."
「 Everything is filtered. 」
Kim Dokja suddenly stood up and waved his fist. "If I could enter that novel I would definitely tell him that he's a very contradictory person!"
Surprised by the sudden outburst the regressor merely arched his brow. They were just talking very merrily a second ago and now there he was, swinging his fist wildly. Yoo Jonghyuk thought that the very contradictory person wasn't him at all, but a certain someone else.
"Why so?" he asked.
"It just makes me so mad sometimes! Why is he so confident in his abilities, yet he is so paranoid of anyone and everything!"
With a stunned look on his face, Yoo Jonghyuk fell into deep thought. The latter's action seems to get unnoticed by the young teen as he kept rambling about the protagonist's behavior. A small smile crept into the regressor's face as he shook his head, letting out a small sigh he gazed at the energetic youth sitting beside him.
「 He is still the one that understands me the best. 」
"So, for now, that's all! I'm eagerly waiting for further updates from the author!"
Slumping down the couch, the young teen let out a satisfied sigh. The giddy Kim Dokja never felt so free when speaking with someone, not even talking with his mother was able to make him feel this liberated. He was finally able to speak till his heart content, today was probably the day he ever spoke the most. But soon enough, everything was washed off by a sudden sense of weariness. Maybe it was because he had a very eventful day, or maybe it was just because a part of the burden heaving his heart had finally been alleviated, letting his guard down, Kim Dokja gladly allowed that relaxing sensation roam through his body.
Rubbing his tired eyes, the youth tried very hard to maintain his lucid state. Turning his head sideways, he stared at the handsome face of the older man beside him. Handsome and charismatic, those were the only words Kim Dokja used to describe that person. Just like 'Yoo Jonghyuk', but more real, so real...
"Hyung... You know what my name means?" Kim Dokja asked with a small yawn.
"A solo reader..." with a soft whisper, Yoo Jonghyuk answered.
"But I never felt really alone you know?" the young teen flashed a smile while leaning his body towards the older man.
"I had the 'protagonist' with me."
"Even though he doesn't know... All the help I had received from him, for that I will be forever grateful."
Yoo Jonghyuk started at the young teen resting against his shoulders with a complicated gaze. He would have never thought that one day even he could receive such heartfelt gratitude from anyone.
"But I am a selfish brat after all..."
"I wasn't satisfied with being only a reader..."
Before closing his eyes, Kim Dokja lifted his head to look at that handsome face and mockingly laughed towards himself.
"Wouldn't it be great if hyung was really 'Yoo Jonghyuk'?"
The young teen was fast asleep, leaning on that shoulder he looked very tired. With a helpless gaze, the regressor lifted his head to face the white ceiling, a hand covering his eyes as he sighed.
"How troublesome..."
"Hyung's name is... Yoo Jonghyuk?"
Kim Dokja was laughing when he inquired again as if he wanted this to be just some sort of bad joke or maybe that it was all a sick coincidence. Yoo Jonghyuk, how cool sounding and awe-inspiring is that name? But would a parent really name their kid like that? Isn't this giving them to much pressure for their future? If they grew up to be a normal salaryman with a cool sounding name, wouldn't they be picked on?! Wait... It's alright to be a normal salaryman who has a cool sounding name, but what if he got a lame name! At the sudden realization, Kim Dokja's mind already strayed away from its main focus. Now the only thought swirling inside his mind was 'I don't want to be a normal salaryman with a lame sounding name!'
The memories of the times when he was mocked because of his name were still clear. Just because his name was a little bit more 'special' than the others, he always got targeted! Thinking about the cool looking man in front of him, that stone-cold face! It must be the protection he created for himself! A façade he used to fend off all bad comments! Kim Dokja couldn't help but silently weep for the fate of this comrade of his.
Before Yoo Jonghyuk could even give an answer, the young teen hastily covered his mouth with both hands and looked at the man in front of him with a complicated gaze, followed by a pitying one, then he nodded and said.
"It's okay hyung! If you prefer, I will just call you hyung! I won't carelessly say your name! I understand your struggle!"
Baffled by the teen sudden action and seeing so many emotions expressed in such a short amount of time, the regressor worried about this young Kim Dokja's emotional stability. Yoo Jonghyuk wanted to speak, but his mouth was still covered with those freshly bandaged hands.
Seeing the older man furrowing his brows again, Kim Dokja started to panic. He couldn't help but feel oppressed by the sole thought he had just unlocked some traumatic episode that the other party wanted to forget!
Yoo Jonghyuk silently watched as the young teen entered in an even more unstable state. The corners of his eyes started to twitch as he peered at the anxious boy, the regressor had the sudden urge to beat up 'someone' like he always did when 'someone' irked him.
Shutting his eyes was the only way he had to control the building anger inside of him. What eyes don't see, heart won't grieve. He can't raise his hands against a kid. The one receiving the short end of the stick, plus a sentence in jail, was definitely going to be him. Would Yoo Jonghyuk even consider doing something so disadvantageous towards himself? Wasting this rare opportunity to visit the past just to get confined behind some iron bars?
The regressor felt as if his limits were tested again and again today. Forcefully removing the hands that were hindering his ability to speak, he wanted to clarify the situation before he gives in and starts sorting into domestic violence. But before he could even do that, Kim Dokja made a sudden attack!
The regressor rested frozen on the spot, head still nestled in that warm hug, not reacting a single bit because he was clearly too dumbfounded to do anything coherent with the situation. If before the one deserted by his brain, leaving him with a 'technical difficulties' banner was Kim Dokja, now that person is Yoo Jonghyuk. The cold and calculative protagonist of 'Three ways to survive in a ruined world', a savant in many ways, yet when it comes to a 'certain' person he always seems to stray away from the designated path.
Kim Dokja understands that sometimes a silent comforting embrace meant more than any type of cheerful encouragements. He always wanted that type of comfort too, but he never got one. However, that didn't mean he would do the same if another person was in need of it. He would definitely care for the latter! Because, deep down, he wanted to be shown the same care back.
Sometimes, being cared for by someone can also be a scary thing. Showing them your most vulnerable and ugly side, just hoping not to get rejected in the end. 'Maybe being uncared can also be a blessing.' was what the young teen started to tell himself when the light at the end of the tunnel started dimming down further and further. Suddenly, he felt all the past struggles surging up again through his silent tears.
Unconsciously tightening his grip around Yoo Jonghyuk, the small body started to lightly tremble. The regressor noticed it and when he looked up to see what was happening, the visage of a quietly crying Kim Dokja greeted him. To his dismay, he was faced, yet again with another arduous task.
「 Are you suffering from bipolar disorder? 」
With an unreadable expression, a part of Yoo Jonghyuk really wanted to yank Kim Dokja away, but at the same time, he couldn't bear to do that. That lean body pressed against his sturdy one, those soft sobbing sounds accompanied by the rhythmic clatter of the rain hitting against the windows were the only things echoing in that room. Time seemed to pass so slowly as the regressor remained unfazed, he was spacing out and looked frustrated to the core.
In reality, he was just looking at the system message that had appeared out of nowhere.
+
[Side quest #2 - The solo reader]
Difficulty: ???
Clear conditions: ???
Time-limit: One week
Compensation: ???
Failure: ㅡ
*There are additional clear conditions.
*No constellation interference allowed.
+
Everything rushed at him so fast, he didn't even realize that he had already forgotten the main purpose for all of this. Kim Dokja isn't a prophet, yet knew so much of Yoo Jonghyuk's life. The other apostles said that the knowledge they had gained was from a story they once read. A story...
Unconsciously, the older man raised up his arms and locked the teenager's slim waist in his embrace. This sudden action made Kim Dokja yelp in surprise, shocking him awake from his daze. Realizing what an embarrassing sound he had just let out, the young teen wanted nothing more than shrinking into the ground right in this instant. Looking at the big head nuzzled against his nape, Kim Dokja could feel the rising heat on his face, and the latter's hot breath hitting against his bȧrė skin didn't help at all!
It couldn't be helped, the young teen hadn't received any normal human skinship contact from anyone since a long time ago. The last time he had one, was probably just when his mother was still living with him. Kim Dokja wasn't exactly the type that would initialize the first move, usually, the guy was just too shy or straight up awkward. But this time, he had initiated everything out of his sense of guilt, totally forgetting about this little social anxiety of his, and now that the other party responded back to his action... A total pandemonium started in his heart. When speaking, his stuttering skills were definitely on the front line. Destroying not the hostile army, but the friendly one.
"H-Hyung?"
"You don't like my name?" asked Yoo Jonghyuk.
"I-It's not..."
"Then you like my name."
"B-But..."
"Then you hate it?"
"H-Hyung! L-Let me speak!"
"H-Hyung!!"
Yoo Jonghyuk didn't want to admit it, but teasing the young boy in his arms and looking at that flustered face, really, and I mean really. Gave him some strange sense of accomplishment. Seeing Kim Dokja's expression that was literally screaming 'Hyung-is-bullying-me' like a little brother throwing a tantrum, such an expression made the older man imagine about the 'adult' Kim Dokja making such a face. That thought alone was funny enough to break that millennium ice-cold face, earning a deep and sėxy chuckle from the regressor.
"So why you like my name?"
"L-Like?!"
The poor teen was already on the verge of tears again, he had invited a bully inside his home! But still, he couldn't refute the latter. Because after all, he really liked that name. 'Yoo Jonghyuk' may be cold and calculative, but he is also a very charismatic and cool character. Sometimes when Kim Dokja needed a big boost in his confidence, he would just yell 'I am Yoo Jonghyuk!' and everything would be alright.
But that was about the 'Yoo Jonghyuk' inside the story. How can he even say those things in front of a real person called Yoo Jonghyuk! How shameful and embarrassing would be to admit what he really felt!
"It's because of a novel I'm reading... The protagonist name is the same as hyung's."
「 So there's really a story... 」
Kim Dokja was getting ready to get laughed at, some time passed, but he kept sensing no reaction at all. Truthfully speaking, being hugged in the waist and forced into a kneeling position on the sofa wasn't exactly the most comfortable position ever. As the teen was about to start struggling his way out the older man finally spoke again.
With a dumbfounded look in his face, the young teen picked up Yoo Jonghyuk's head to face him. Kim Dokja's eyes were glittering but contained also a little bit of uncertainty. Dreading to have just misheard the latter.
"You... Want to know?"
The regressor stared at those glistering eyes filled with anticipation, slowly nodding his head leaving the young teen with a blank expression on his face. Two figures dressed in loose pajamas hugged each other in that evening, the larger figure quietly looked up at the dazed teen. Unsure about how much time had already passed, Kim Dokja finally shook himself awake and with a blooming smile spreading from ear to ear, he nodded. Everything seemed to fade away, the light, the sounds, and all the surroundings were only just a mere blurry background for both of them.
***
「 It was expected. 」
"■■■■ then ■■■■■■■■ Yoo Jonghyuk ■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■... "
"■■■■■■■■■■■■..."
"■■■■■■ the constellation ■■■■■■■■■..."
「 Everything is filtered. 」
Kim Dokja suddenly stood up and waved his fist. "If I could enter that novel I would definitely tell him that he's a very contradictory person!"
Surprised by the sudden outburst the regressor merely arched his brow. They were just talking very merrily a second ago and now there he was, swinging his fist wildly. Yoo Jonghyuk thought that the very contradictory person wasn't him at all, but a certain someone else.
"Why so?" he asked.
"It just makes me so mad sometimes! Why is he so confident in his abilities, yet he is so paranoid of anyone and everything!"
With a stunned look on his face, Yoo Jonghyuk fell into deep thought. The latter's action seems to get unnoticed by the young teen as he kept rambling about the protagonist's behavior. A small smile crept into the regressor's face as he shook his head, letting out a small sigh he gazed at the energetic youth sitting beside him.
「 He is still the one that understands me the best. 」
"So, for now, that's all! I'm eagerly waiting for further updates from the author!"
Slumping down the couch, the young teen let out a satisfied sigh. The giddy Kim Dokja never felt so free when speaking with someone, not even talking with his mother was able to make him feel this liberated. He was finally able to speak till his heart content, today was probably the day he ever spoke the most. But soon enough, everything was washed off by a sudden sense of weariness. Maybe it was because he had a very eventful day, or maybe it was just because a part of the burden heaving his heart had finally been alleviated, letting his guard down, Kim Dokja gladly allowed that relaxing sensation roam through his body.
Rubbing his tired eyes, the youth tried very hard to maintain his lucid state. Turning his head sideways, he stared at the handsome face of the older man beside him. Handsome and charismatic, those were the only words Kim Dokja used to describe that person. Just like 'Yoo Jonghyuk', but more real, so real...
"Hyung... You know what my name means?" Kim Dokja asked with a small yawn.
"A solo reader..." with a soft whisper, Yoo Jonghyuk answered.
"But I never felt really alone you know?" the young teen flashed a smile while leaning his body towards the older man.
"I had the 'protagonist' with me."
"Even though he doesn't know... All the help I had received from him, for that I will be forever grateful."
Yoo Jonghyuk started at the young teen resting against his shoulders with a complicated gaze. He would have never thought that one day even he could receive such heartfelt gratitude from anyone.
"But I am a selfish brat after all..."
"I wasn't satisfied with being only a reader..."
Before closing his eyes, Kim Dokja lifted his head to look at that handsome face and mockingly laughed towards himself.
"Wouldn't it be great if hyung was really 'Yoo Jonghyuk'?"
The young teen was fast asleep, leaning on that shoulder he looked very tired. With a helpless gaze, the regressor lifted his head to face the white ceiling, a hand covering his eyes as he sighed.
"How troublesome..."
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