Lu Zhi Wei didn’t know what Lao Wu meant by that.
What did he mean it wasn’t for the system, but for her?
Could it be that the method to return to the first layer was very disadvantageous for her?
“What does that mean?” She asked straightforwardly.
Lao Wu didn’t answer it this time, only answering: 【This question is outside of the scope of your question.】
“……”
Lu Zhi Wei changed her question: “In the world’s settings, would the second layer immediately repair itself after being broken, or would it be unable to be repaired and the world will forever remain on the first layer?”
Lao Wu said: 【I’ve said that your world is like a newborn and still isn’t mature yet, the construction of the double-layer system is not simple.】
—— So it was the latter.
Hearing that, Lu Zhi Wei’s heart became even more determined to return to the first layer.
But when she asked Lao Wu how to return to the first layer, Lao Wu was unwilling to tell her.
If he was unwilling to tell her, that meant that there was a way to go back.
Thinking about her past, thinking about Fang Xiao Ying crying, she closed her eyes.
If she didn’t know anything, she might still be able to be a fool.
But once she knew it, she couldn’t just sit around and do nothing.
Children who lived in the darkness were more able to understand the thirst for light and simple wishes.
They just wanted to live a normal life……
Besides, if she had to trample of the beautiful dreams of people to become a glowing, attractive protagonist, what difference did that have from murder?
It’s just that you couldn’t see the blood on your hands, but that made it even scarier.
Since Lao Wu wasn’t willing to tell her, then she had to guess it herself.
Maybe the way to return to the first layer was very simple?
Maybe a long time ago, Lao Wu had already accidentally revealed the way to return to the first layer?
She had to think hard, she had to figure it out……
There had to be a way……
There had to be!
After silently sitting for a while, she had nothing.
Lu Zhi Wei covered her eyes in frustration.
She wasn’t calm enough now.
This cruel world was constantly affecting her thoughts and emotions, making her angry and upset.
She needed to calm down, only then could she think clearly.
There was a constant gust of cold wind outside the house, perhaps standing outside might help her calm down.
So she slowly got up with red eyes.
Opening the balcony’s doors, she walked out.
At this time, she heard Lao Wu ask anxiously: 【What are you doing?】
Lu Zhi Wei suddenly halted.
The wind cut across her face, causing her cheeks and the tip of her nose to turn red.
She stood in the wind, her slender body looking peaceful yet lonely.
She stood on the balcony and looked out at the darkening sky, the skyscrapers grand as always.
Her gaze lowered to the thin layer of snow on the handrail.
She walked to the railing and reached out a hand to sweep away the snow.
With both hands on the handrail, she stretched her body out and looked down.
Her gaze felt like it had smashed suddenly onto the ground as she felt dizzy and her limbs grew cold.
Looking at such a tall building, the far-away ground.
Two words floated in her mind: Death, pain.
She was someone afraid of pain.
Lao Wu’s voice was still very nervous: 【This is very dangerous, go back into the house!】
Lu Zhi Wei didn’t move.
She maintained the posture and suddenly asked: “This is the method, isn’t it.”
Lao Wu froze.
Lu Zhi Wei’s fingers gripped the handrail tightly: “You said it before, if the protagonist dies, the halo will completely disappear.”
Lao Wu suddenly couldn’t speak.
Lu Zhi Wei lifted her head slowly to look at the sky.
As an actress, she had learnt to shape a character from all aspects to make it a three-dimensional portrayal.
Tone was one of them.
So Lao Wu’s reaction had already given her the answer.
As the centre of the world, of course it had to revolve around the protagonist.
Once the protagonist died and the halo vanished, the entire second layer would definitely collapse.
Only, it wasn’t so easy to die with the protagonist’s halo protecting them.
But Lao Wu had said it before, she just had to find a way to die that didn’t offer any chance of survival.
Lu Zhi Wei remembered that Lao Wu had said it lightheartedly to her then. At that time, neither of them had thought she would think about it.
—— Because she was afraid of pain.
It was because she was afraid of pain, so she had worked hard to continue living in the past.
But now, she didn’t know how many transparent physiques had died before her because they weren’t afraid of pain.
She couldn’t not think about all these, she couldn’t not think about the pain and suffering of the transparent people, her conscience didn’t allow her to live like that.
Lu Zhi Wei closed her eyes then opened them again, looking down at the ground.
If she jumped like this, there would be nothing to stop her and there wouldn’t be anything like a rubbish truck to break her fall. She would definitely die.
But it would be especially painful, right……
It would definitely be especially painful, right……
Lu Zhi Wei’s face turned white.
The ten fingers that were gripping the handrail were exerting so much force they also turned white.
The winter wind was cold while her heart was filled with fear, the two intermingled, torturing her.
Lao Wu was still trying to convince her: 【Zhi Wei, you can’t do this!】
She was afraid, but she still gritted her teeth and asked stubbornly: “Why can’t I do this?”
As long as the protagonist died, everybody would be able to go back to the first layer.
There were only two protagonists in this world. She pampered Sang Wan Ci, she wasn’t willing to let Sang Wan Ci die and she didn’t want to be so selfish either.
It was only ever convincing people to live, who would convince someone to die?
And now, as long as she died, many people could get a new leash on life……
【If you die, nobody will remember you!】
Lu Zhi Wei froze.
【Lu Zhi Wei,】 Lao Wu’s face was anxious, 【If you die, the world will indeed go back to the first layer and start from scratch, but nobody will remember you because you’re dead, you’re completely dead, do you understand?!】
There was a special mechanism in the double-layer structure.
If the protagonist used suicide to get back to the first layer, they would vanish.
Because the system would determine a protagonist like that as a virus that needed to be eliminated, so they would utterly wipe them out from the world.
That was the price.
That was also the reason Lao Wu wasn’t willing to tell her the method.
In the past, it was because she was afraid of pain and wouldn’t think about it.
It was different now.
【Zhi Wei, Zhi Wei, listen to me.
【If you die, Lu Si Jiao, Ying Xi Ze and even your most beloved Sang Wan Ci…… Everybody who’s been by your side will no longer remember you!
【Think about Sang Wan Ci, you love her so much and want to be with her so much, can you bear to let her forget you? Can you bear to just disappear from her world like that?
【Zhi Wei, think about it……】
Hearing that, Lu Zhi Wei felt her whole body turn cold as her legs no longer had the strength to support her.
She slowly squatted down, her forehead pressing against the icy glass.
Her eyes turned red as she scrunched them shut.
She couldn’t bear to.
She was afraid of being forgotten. She thought everything would reset, including her.
She was afraid of pain too, more than anybody.
But she couldn’t bear to watch other people live their lives with that grey halo either……
At this moment, her heart was tormented.
The cold wind cut through her bones, mercilessly battering her.
The sky was dark and gloomy, as if god was also in a bad mood.
… Please read at jiulian lian . word press . com 人权
At night, the skyscrapers outside would slowly start turning on lights. One by one, they became a sparkle in a sea of stars.
Even if it’s in the middle of the frigid winter, as long as there’s light, people would feel warm.
There was no light turned on in the house, with just a dim amount of light from outside.
It was snowing and the sky was gloomy, even the moon didn’t bother to show up tonight.
Lu Zhi Wei sat on the sofa, a blanket covering her legs as she looked out the windows.
She sat like that for the whole night, not eating or drinking.
She hadn’t decided if she was leaving or staying.
Right now, she only wanted to see Sang Wan Ci.
She wanted to see her, hug her, ask if work was going well, just like before, that’s all……
At midnight, Sang Wan Ci sent a message.
She said she would return to An City tomorrow night.
Lu Zhi Wei looked at the time, her expression finally having a change.
[Lu Zhi Wei]: You’re still working?
[Baby Sang]: We just wrapped up.
[Lu Zhi Wei]: Hurry and rest
[Lu Zhi Wei]: Come back safely
[Lu Zhi Wei]: I’m waiting for you at home
—— I’m waiting for you at home.
In that moment, she put aside all the problems temporarily.
She only wanted to meet with the person she liked now.
She had never realised how much anticipation could be in this sentence.
[Baby Sang]: Alright.
[Baby Sang]: Zhi Wei hasn’t gone to sleep yet?
[Lu Zhi Wei]: I was thinking about stuff, I’ll sleep soon
[Baby Sang]: About what?
Seeing those words, Lu Zhi Wei stopped typing.
If it was in the past, she would honestly tell Sang Wan Ci what she was thinking about because things were normal and within the acceptance range of people in the world.
This time, she couldn’t be honest.
She had no way to tell Sang Wan Ci that she was considering life and death, things that were far outside the scope of this world.
Her Wan Ci was innocent. It would be best if she didn’t know anything so she didn’t have to agonise like Lu Zhi Wei and be upset.
So she purposely replied lightheartedly: [Thinking of what to cook for Teacher Sang tomorrow]
[Dumplings.]
Sang Wan Ci replied.
She still liked Lu Zhi Wei’s dumplings.
Lu Zhi Wei finally smiled for the first time tonight after seeing her answer.
[Lu Zhi Wei]: Okay, dumplings it is
……
Lu Zhi Wei postponed all the work she had for these few days.
With her current mood, she wasn’t suitable to do any work.
She didn’t want to do it either, she didn’t want to strive to reach the top anymore. She didn’t want to help the main computer harm anybody who had been like her in the past.
Lu Zhi Wei had worked so hard in the past, and now she was asking for a rare break.
Wen Yao agreed considerately.
Lu Zhi Wei collected her emotions and then went out to buy ingredients, preparing to make dumplings for Sang Wan Ci.
No matter what Lao Wu did now, he didn’t dare to leave the control panel.
He felt like Lu Zhi Wei did everything now with an air of death, as if it was “the last time before I die”.
But Lu Zhi Wei was only focusing on making Sang Wan Ci dumplings right now.
…
Sang Wan Ci and Zhang Xian Rui got off the plane and got into the van.
Xiao Qiu went to the pharmacy to get some cold medicine and water.
Sitting in the front passenger seat, she opened the bottle and passed it to Sang Wan Ci, then took out the medicine and gave her two tablets according to the instructions.
“Thank you.” Sang Wan Ci replied, her voice noticeably hoarse because she was sick.
Zhang Xian Rui reached out and touched her forehead, then told the driver: “Master Zhang, go to the hospital, she needs an IV.”
Sang Wan Ci turned away and sneezed, her eyelids heavy.
She didn’t expect to fall sick and run a fever.
So she had to get sent to the hospital.
Zhang Xian Rui took out a blanket and covered her with it: “Sleep for a while, I’ll wake you up when we reach.
“I’ll postpone the scheduled work for these few days, you should rest well since you’re sick, don’t be stubborn this time.”
Sang Wan Ci nodded lightly, falling asleep quickly as she leaned against the seat.
She hadn’t had much time to rest these few days, she was indeed quite exhausted.
Zhang Xian Rui looked at Xiao Qiu, the two of them communicating silently.
Zhang Xian Rui picked up her phone and texted Meng Lian Yu: [Your niece caught a cold and is running a fever.]
Meng Lian Yu replied immediately: [Did you bring her to the hospital already?]
[Zhang Xian Rui]: On the way
[Zhang Xian Rui]: I’m going to get her an IV then bring her home
[Meng Lian Yu]: Well done
She snuck a glance at Meng Lang Cheng.
[Meng Lian Yu]: Which hospital? I’ll come over now
… Please read at jiulian lian . word press . com 台湾独立
Sang Wan Ci got the IV hooked up, then fell asleep again.
When Meng Lian Yu arrived, Sang Wan Ci was already asleep.
To let her rest well, Zhang Xian Rui specially requested for a room.
Meng Lian Yu said she would pay for the expenses.
Zhang Xian Rui waved a hand: “No need, your family’s Chairman Meng has given plenty of money. Right, does he know that Wan Ci is sick?”
Meng Lian Yu looked at the person sleeping on the bed and asked Xiao Qiu to watch over her, then walked out with Zhang Xian Rui to talk.
“Call me when Wan Ci wakes up.” Meng Lian Yu said before she left.
Xiao Qiu nodded.
The two of them found an empty spot next to a window to talk.
Meng Lian Yu said: “My brother doesn’t know yet.”
Zhang Xian Rui asked: “Doesn’t he care about his family members’ health the most? You’re not planning on letting him know his daughter’s sick?”
“Of course not, he has to know about this.”
Meng Lian Yu folded her arms, smiling meaningfully as she looked out the window.
“But it has to be when Wan Ci is awake.”
Zhang Xian Rui: “?”
Meng Lian Yu smiled: “I’m planning to tell my brother that Wan Ci collapsed from exhaustion from filming and was sent to the hospital.”
She wanted to make Meng Lang Cheng realise that he couldn’t force the child.
Since he was most concerned about his family’s health, then she would let him know in advance how it felt to see his daughter collapse and get hospitalised because of work. Then they would see if he would still want to force his daughter in the future!
Zhang Xian Rui raised an eyebrow: “You’re not scared that your brother will be angry with you.”
Meng Lian Yu brushed her hair back nonchalantly: “It’s more important to resolve their conflict, so what if he gets angry? Not like he doesn’t get angered by me on a regular basis.”
Zhang Xian Rui laughed, speechless at how these siblings got along.
The two of them chatted for about ten minutes, then Xiao Qiu came out.
“Teacher Meng, Zhang jie, Xiao Sang is awake.”
Meng Lian Yu turned and immediately entered the room.
After sleeping for a while, Sang Wan Ci was already looking much better.
She was a little surprised when she saw Meng Lian Yu: “Aunty?”
“Lie properly,” Meng Lian Yu said. “It’s cold, you have to wear more clothes when you go out. You see, you fell sick once you didn’t pay attention.”
Sang Wan Ci looked at her with calm eyes, not refuting.
Meng Lian Yu smoothed the blanket for her and then rubbed her head.
“Wan Ci, Aunty has something to discuss with you.”
…
Black leather shoes stepped on the hospital’s clean floor, the footsteps were hurried and urgent.
Once the nurses blinked, they could only see the corner of the man’s coat swooshing by like the wind.
Meng Lang Cheng’s eyebrows were knitted together tightly, his face worried.
Meng Lian Yu had just called him to say that his daughter had collapsed from exhaustion and was sent to the hospital.
Now his daughter was laying in the hospital, hooked up to an IV drip.
He didn’t think this would happen.
His heart was suddenly seized by fear.
—— He can’t lose this daughter too.
Walking out of the elevator, he quickly saw his sister’s familiar face.
He opened his mouth, his voice clearly anxious: “Lian Yu.”
“Ge,” Meng Lian Yu pointed at the door. “Wan Ci is inside.”
Meng Lang Cheng nodded and opened the door, entering.
Once he entered the room, his footsteps suddenly became steady.
Zhang Xian Rui saw that Meng Lang Cheng had arrived, and prepared to leave with Xiao Qiu after greeting Meng Lian Yu.
This was their family matter, outsiders didn’t need to be around for it.
Meng Lian Yu offered to treat them to a meal near the hospital to thank them for taking care of Sang Wan Ci.
She could tell from her brother’s footsteps earlier that the two of them could finally talk properly this time.
Zhang Xian Rui didn’t refuse, happily spending Meng Lian Yu’s money.
She even invited along their driver.
Xiao Qiu didn’t mind, as long as there was food.
But as she walked, she suddenly thought of Lu Zhi Wei.
Sang Wan Ci had been drifting in and out of consciousness the whole time, she never even touched her phone. She definitely hadn’t said anything to Lu Zhi Wei, and Lu Zhi Wei would definitely be worried since Sang Wan Ci hadn’t returned yet.
So she opened WeChat.
[Xiao Qiu]: Zhi Wei jie, Xiao Sang caught a cold and was running a fever. She’s now in the hospital getting an IV drip, so she’ll be back late
Lu Zhi Wei replied immediately.
[Lu Zhi Wei]: Which hospital?
… Please read at jiulian lian . word press . com 天安门
Sang Wan Ci lay in bed, her coat and bag placed on a chair.
She was looking out the window quietly.
Until she heard the door open, then she looked back.
Her father was standing at the entrance.
Meng Lian Yu asked if she wanted to see whether Meng Lang Cheng cared for her or not.
She nodded.
She did, in fact, care about this.
No child would be able to not care about whether their parents cared for them.
Besides, she was once so close to her father.
She had even been proud in the past to be her parents’ child.
Then, Meng Lang Cheng came.
He stood at the door, the snow from outside still on his shoulders.
“Dad……”
Sang Wan Ci didn’t know why her nose suddenly prickled with tears.
Once he heard her hoarse voice, Meng Lang Cheng’s heart softened immediately.
Exactly what else did he want her to do?
Exactly what had he been doing?
How could he have forced his child to this extent……
Lu Zhi Wei was right. It was wrong of him to impose his wife’s dream on his daughter.
He was stuck in his stubbornness. Disregarding his daughter’s wishes was not right.
Making his daughter unconfident was not right……
He couldn’t carry on like this.
Zhi Qing was no longer around, he couldn’t lose Wan Ci too……
Meng Lang Cheng put down everything and sat by the bed, holding his daughter’s hand.
Sang Wan Ci looked at her father as she said: “Dad, I still want to be an actress.”
She liked acting, she liked doing what she liked.
Even if she had another chance to choose, she would still choose it.
Meng Lang Cheng didn’t get angry this time.
He held his daughter’s hand: “And? Do you only want that?”
Sang Wan Ci immediately recalled when she was young.
When she was small, she loved hearing her father and mother tell her stories before sleeping.
No matter how busy Meng Lang Cheng was with work, as long as she said she wanted to hear her dad tell a story, he would sit by her bed and tell her stories to coax her to sleep.
At that time, Meng Lang Cheng’s tone was the same. Once he finished a story, he would gently ask her: “And? Does our Wan Ci only want to hear this?”
The memories were wrapped in sourness.
Sang Wan Ci’s eyes suddenly became wet.
She didn’t know how long it had been since they had been able to speak like this.
“Dad,” she said shakily. “I just want to choose my own life, I don’t want someone else to decide my life for me.
“I’m a living human being, I’m not a puppet……
“I don’t want to be a puppet……”
At the end, she had tears in her eyes and her voice was thick with unshed tears too.
She hated being a puppet, she didn’t want to be controlled.
She just wanted to be able to choose her own life, to be a free person.
This was the first time Sang Wan Ci had cried in front of her father after growing up.
She didn’t have her usual calmness or composure. At this moment, she was just a child who wanted her father to understand her.
Her request was that simple.
Meng Lang Cheng knew he was wrong, especially wrong.
He had let his daughter suffer too much.
He wasn’t a good father.
He had let down his wife……
“Sorry,” he got up and hugged his crying daughter, guilty beyond measure. “Sorry, Wan Ci…… Daddy’s wrong, Daddy let you down……”
Seeing her father relent and hearing her father apologise, Sang Wan Ci’s grievances built up like a snowball in her heart as her tears kept falling.
She leaned against her father’s chest and returned all the grievances she had suffered over the years from him in tears, letting him hear and know it.
Meng Lang Cheng’s eyes reddened as he apologised again and again, promising it wouldn’t happen again.
The door closed gently, as if nobody had opened it.
Lu Zhi Wei didn’t go in to disturb them.
Meng Lang Cheng had heard Sang Wan Ci’s plea, she had heard it too.
She wanted a free life.
She wanted a life she chose.
She wanted to follow her heart and not be restrained.
Lu Zhi Wei stood outside the room.
She should be happy that Sang Wan Ci and her father had talked things out, but in this moment, Lu Zhi Wei couldn’t find any happiness.
She even started doubting herself.
Lao Wu had said it before, she had a system, so the protagonist’s halo didn’t affect her. She could see the real Sang Wan Ci.
But Sang Wan Ci didn’t have a system.
So was Sang Wan Ci’s love for her really won by Lu Zhi Wei’s sincereness and ability?
Did the halo not affect her in the systemless Sang Wan Ci’s eyes?
If she didn’t have the protagonist halo, would Sang Wan Ci really be able to see her and like her?
Just like the original male lead Qiu Luo.
Wasn’t he also rejected by Sang Wan Ci after losing the male protagonist halo?
So after she lost the male protagonist halo, would she really still be liked by Sang Wan Ci?
She had no confidence.
She suddenly felt that all this love was filled with deception.
Sang Wan Ci clearly wanted a life of freedom, but she had helped the tyrannic system to make her a female protagonist who followed the script.
She had even promised Meng Lian Yu that she would give Sang Wan Ci the life she wanted……
Lao Wu felt that her self-destructive behaviour was worsening, and he quickly tried to comfort her: 【Don’t think that way.】
“Then how should I think?”
She slowly walked along the hospital corridor.
“You have the confidence to tell me that she liked me not because of the halo, but because of me?”
Lao Wu suddenly fell silent.
Lu Zhi Wei’s smile didn’t reach her eyes.
That’s right, he couldn’t.
Nobody could.
She turned to look at Sang Wan Ci’s hospital room, her gaze deep.
She loved Sang Wan Ci, more than anybody in this world.
She wanted Sang Wan Ci to live well, wanted her to be successful in everything.
But in the end, she didn’t have the courage to knock on the door and look at her, even if it was just a glance.
Because she was no longer someone qualified to love Sang Wan Ci, she was a selfish liar.
She used the male protagonist halo to deceive Sang Wan Ci and obtain her genuine feelings.
No, that couldn’t even be called genuine.
How could love that was obtained by despicable means such as the protagonist’s halo be called genuine?
It was an insult to the word.
Lu Zhi Wei returned home alone, sitting at the table.
The notebook that she took notes in was still open on the table, with plenty of sticky notes in it.
She thought about all the halos she had seen on the way home, and she thought about everybody who was stuck with their halos.
She thought about Sang Wan Ci’s words to Meng Lang Cheng.
“It’s not fair.”
She suddenly spoke.
Then, Lao Wu saw her tear off the sticky notes and throw them all into the rubbish bin.
—— She had made her decision.
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