CH 83

After he said that, neither Huo Ran nor Xu Zhifan said anything.

Xu Zhifan probably didn’t know what to say at that moment. It didn’t seem right to keep asking or pretend he didn’t mind at all or to comfort him in a bro sort of way. They all seemed fake. 

Silence was the most appropriate. It wasn’t too forceful.

As for Huo Ran, he wasn’t thinking about all that. His brain was basically empty now. He wasn’t thinking about anything, and he couldn’t think about anything. It was like there were only those four words, and once they were out, nothing was left.

All the thoughts that were stuffed into his brain, the thoughts that could startle him at any moment, it was like none of them ever existed now.

That was it. 

Full, then empty.

The only thing that showed he wasn’t completely zoned out was his finger, which was still flicking the sapling.

One flick, two flicks, three flicks…

“I…” Xu Zhifan wasn’t the one that confessed all that after all, so he snapped back to reality faster than Huo Ran. He just seemed a little at a loss, as he patted his pockets seven or eight times for some reason.

“Looking for a smoke?” Huo Ran asked.

“No,” Xu Zhifan glanced around, seeing a teacher walking nearby with some books. “To be honest… I sort of guessed it already, but not like this. I just thought that you were a bit… too sensitive. You weren’t like this with Kou Chen before.”

“Yeah.” Huo Ran leaned against the small tree.

Xu Zhifan tugged him away: “It can’t support your weight.” 

Huo Ran could only lean against the wall now: “I was going crazy because of this.”

“Does Kou Chen know?” Xu Zhifan asked.

Huo Ran hardly even understood what he was saying, all he knew was that his body froze in shock, and then he jumped in front of Xu Zhifan: “If you tell him, our friendship is over!”

“Why would I tell him?” Xu Zhifan looked confused. 

“…What did you just say then?” Huo Ran asked.

“I said, does Kou Chen know?” Xu Zhifan said.

“Oh,” Huo Ran sighed, “Why would he know?”

“Are you planning to tell him?” Xu Zhifan asked. 

“I don’t know,” Huo Ran said. “I’m a mess, I just realized it myself, what am I supposed to tell him?”

“Mhm.” Xu Zhifan nodded. “Think about it some more, I won’t say anything about it. I’ll support you no matter what.”

Huo Ran patted his shoulder.

Back in the classroom, the bell had already rung and the English teacher was already standing at the lecturn.

Huo Ran ran over to his seat, but when he tried to squeeze behind Kou Chen, he was laying on his desk like he was asleep.

“Let me through.” Huo Ran whispered, nudging his chair.

Kou Chen didn’t move. 

“Kou Chen?” Huo Ran leaned down to look at him.

His eyes were wide open, and he even glanced at him.

“Fucking…” Huo Ran was about to curse and smack Kou Chen, but when he opened his mouth, he suddenly lost confidence.

He kept feeling like he was hiding something shameful from Kou Chen. 

Scared of Kou Chen.

Even though Kou Chen didn’t know, he still felt a little guilty.

As he was about to move the desk behind him, Kou Chen moved his chair in, and he quickly squeezed past and sat in his own seat.

Kou Chen stayed in the same position, laying on the desk, eyes open like he was spacing out. 

Huo Ran hesitated, and then he laid down as well and asked quietly: “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Kou Chen mumbled.

His attitude made Huo Ran panic a little. Usually he would just snark back or ignore him, who cares what he’s on, but now he was starting to reflect on his own attitude because of Kou Chen’s attitude.

In the end, he chose to stay silent. He opened up his textbook and stared at it. 

About ten minutes later, Kou Chen turned to him: “Where did you go?”

“Huh?” Huo Ran glanced at him, “Went to the infirmary with Xu Zhifan.”

“Mbg ktja?” Bbe Jtfc jrxfv jujlc. 

“Kb rff Kjb Eel.” Leb Ejc rjlv. “P vlvc’a ub lc.”

“Yt.” Bbe Jtfc cbvvfv, jcv tf vlvc’a rjs jcsatlcu firf.

Leb Ejc rlutfv lc gfilfo, yea atfs jii tjv Kjb Eel jvvfv jr j oglfcv. Po Bbe Jtfc vlvc’a yfilfnf tlw, tf mbeiv ub jrx jcsbcf, jcv atfc Leb Ejc vlvc’a xcbk tbk tf rtbeiv fzqijlc tlwrfio.

He didn’t pay much attention to that class, and when the bell finally rang, he quickly got his phone out to text Xu Zhifan to tell Tao Rui to cover for him.

As he turned his phone on, he secretly glanced in Kou Chen’s direction.

And then he froze.

Kou Chen was looking at him, hand on his cheek. 

“Tao Rui posted this morning,” Kou Chen said. “Saying she had the day off and was going to a tourist farm with a friend.”

Huo Ran never felt more awkward in his life.

Kou Chen must be angry, and very angry at that. Probably a little upset too.

Normally when he was mad, he would fight back, yell, and glare at him, but today he was quiet. 

From Huo Ran’s understanding of him, this is what he’s like when he’s truly angry.

All the way until they went out to the field for exercise between classes, Kou Chen was still mad. He didn’t talk to Huo Ran at all.

Of course, it was only natural, since Huo Ran didn’t have an explanation. Even though Huo Ran could insist that not everything needed to be shared among friends, Kou Chen obviously thought that their relationship was different. 

“What’s wrong?” Xu Zhifan came up behind him and whispered.

“He’s mad.” Huo Ran said. “I told him we went to the infirmary…”

“Tao Rui’s off today.” Xu Zhifan clicked his tongue.

“How come you all know that?” Huo Ran was speechless, “Was I the only one that didn’t?” 

“I’ll talk to him.” Xu Zhifan sighed. “You’re terrible at coming up with excuses.”

“I never had to. If I got into a fight or failed a test or got a punishment,” Huo Ran said. “My parents don’t care, so I never got a chance to practice.”

“I’ll go,” Xu Zhifan said. “Please buy me a pair of speakers on my birthday, the ones I said I couldn’t afford last time.”

“KEF speakers?” Huo Ran stared at him, “They’re over 5000, are you trying to kill me?!” 

“You can give me 1000.” Xu Zhifan stuck his hand out, “Deal?”

Huo Ran clapped his hand: “What are you gonna say?”

“Your birthday is tomorrow, and I might not be able to go.” Xu Zhifan said. “So I wanted to speak to you alone.”

“Why would that have to be a secret?” HUo Ran asked. 

“Everyone’s excited for it, and if it were any other person it wouldn’t be a big deal, but that’s not my style.” Xu Zhifan said. “I wouldn’t want to ruin the mood, and besides, I’m not even sure about it yet.”

“…Will he believe that?” Huo Ran said. “And you talking to him specifically? Doesn’t that seem fake?”

“Are you dumb? I can’t go to your birthday party tomorrow because I got a date, and they’re only free tomorrow. But they might go, might not go.” Xu Zhifan said. “And then I’m talking to Kou Chen because I wanted to ask where he made the anklets, so I can make a bracelet too.”

“Damn?” Huo Ran was shocked, “Who? Who are you going on a date with? Who are you making a bracelet for?” 

“Are you Jiang Lei?” Xu Zhifan looked at him.

“Ah!” Huo Ran realized, “Isn’t that too big of a sacrifice?”

“Of course,” Xu Zhifan said. “Not only will Kou Chen know I’m trying my best to get a date, he’ll also know I got rejected later.”

Huo Ran was really moved by that, and he also kind of wanted to laugh as he watched Xu Zhifan quicken his steps to catch up to Kou Chen. 

Kou Chen was talking to Xu Chuan, and he even startled when Xu Zhifan patted him on the shoulder. He seemed a little unhappy, but he still followed Xu Zhifan off to the side.

“What’s up with them?” Wei Chaoren asked.

“Dunno,” Xu Chuan tsked. “A little secret.” 

“That deserves a punishment!” Jiang Lei said. “What little secret are you openly discussing behind our backs?!”

“Openly and behind our backs contradict each other.” Hu Yi said. “There’s a problem with your statement.”

“…What’s wrong with you?” Jiang Lei glared.

“Are they talking about Huo Ran’s birthday tomorrow? Maybe they’re planning a surprise.” Wei Chaoren said. 

“Forget it, we can just go out for a meal. What surprise?” Huo Ran smiled a little nervously.

But the good thing about talking with a bunch of people is that the topic changes fast. Barely three sentences later, they had all moved on to talk about something else.

He had to say, the reason Xu Zhifan got good grades without too much effort was probably because he really was smart. At the very least, his acting skills were up there.

Huo Ran didn’t know how he talked to Kou Chen, but he had already returned to normal after they returned to their classroom, dragging Huo Ran to the store to buy snacks.

Huo Ran went with him, glancing at Xu Zhifan carefully as he left. Xu Zhifan didn’t even look at him, he was walking into the classroom with the others.

That means he was successful.

Kou Chen was a very cute fool who is very easy to deceive. 

“I already asked Xu Zhifan if I could tell you,” Kou Chen put an arm around Huo Ran happily, “He said yes, so I’m telling you!”

“What is it?” Huo Ran asked.

“He told you he might not be able to come to your birthday gathering tomorrow, right?” Kou Chen was smiling so hard his eyes almost disappeared.

“Hm?” Huo Ran put on his best acting skills, “He told you?” 

“He didn’t tell he wanted to give someone a bracelet, right” Kou Chen smiled.

“Nope.” Huo Ran shook his head.

“But I told him that it’s too much work to make one yourself.” Kou Chen said. “And time is tight, so I asked Old Yang to make him one, and he can bring it over tomorrow afternoon.”

Huo Ran smiled. 

Kou Chen was pretty excited, probably because Xu Zhifan asked him for help, and shared a secret with him. The whole way to the store, he was guessing what kind of girl Xu Zhifan likes.

Huo Ran breathed a sigh of relief.

This sort of relief was different than any other sort.

He suddenly understood why Lin Wuyu said: ‘I might never tell you that I like you’. 

He could tell Xu Zhifan, but he couldn’t let Kou Chen know.

There were too many uncertainties, too many unknowns. Any one of them could unbalance things.

No matter what kind of relationship he and Kou Chen had, he wouldn’t want to ruin it. Even if the scale tipped over just a little bit, it might be enough for him to lose this friend, lose the inseparable figure that made him feel all warm inside.

“Getting snacks?” Kou Chen greeted the person inside the store.

Huo Ran snapped back to reality and saw Lin Wuyu smile at the two of them, holding ice cream: “I’m bored to death, so I’m eating some ice cream.”

He didn’t know why, but ever since he spoke to Lin Wuyu last time, he felt that he could see through him. A couple more meetings, and maybe Kou Chen would even be able to tell.

He suddenly felt a little nervous. 

He glanced at Kou Chen, seeing that he didn’t seem to feel anything. He only took his arm back from around his shoulders and walked inside.

“Ice cream?” Kou Chen asked. “I wasn’t gonna buy any, but now I want some.”

“Any chocolatey-coated ones? Any brand.” Huo Ran asked.

“Yup.” Kou Chen handed him a popsicle, “Chocolatey-coated, that’s cute.” 

“As cute as your twisties, I’d say.” Huo Ran laughed. “My mom talked like that when I was little, do you want this chocolatey-coated one?”

Kou Chen laughed as he grabbed a bag and filled it with snacks, and then handed it to Huo Ran.

Huo Ran took his card to go pay, and he stepped out of the store, taking a deep breath outside the door and exhaling slowly. 

When he saw Lin Wuyu, he felt like he had been completely seen through.

He hadn’t said shit after adding Lin Wuyu as a friend, but for some reason, just the action of adding him seemed suspicious.

He kept feeling like Lin Wuyu would ask, ‘what did you want to talk to me about yesterday?’

He felt really guilty. 

And then add the fact that Lin Wuyu has amazing grades, meaning he has a high IQ, so his EQ probably isn’t low either.

Tsk.

Kou Chen frowned.

He was a little extra sensitive today anyways. Huo Ran didn’t take him with him after class, and then he came back with Xu Zhifan. It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, he didn’t see any of the others have an opinion when he talked privately with Xu Zhifan. 

But when it was Huo Ran, it wasn’t okay. It made him upset no matter how he thought of it.

It was like when he gave all of his toys to the neighbour’s kid to play with, and then the kid turned and started playing with someone else. He was crestfallen.

And then his dad beat him because he beat up that kid.

It made him feel worse every time he remembered that incident! 

…You’re going off-topic, Kou Chen.

He shook his head and turned to see if Huo Ran was done yet.

He saw Huo Ran standing right beside him.

“Ah!” He jumped, “Why didn’t you say something?!” 

“…I just came out,” Huo Ran startled too, staring at him. “You should join choir with that voice. Even if you don’t sing, your yells can startle everyone else into a high F.”

“Let’s go.” Kou Chen laughed.

After evening self-study, they went to eat in the cafeteria and discuss Huo Ran’s birthday tomorrow, before going back to the dorms. 

Kou Chen washed up and laid on his bed, unable to sleep, phone never leaving his hand.

He wanted to wish Huo Ran happy birthday when it turned midnight.

He knew that nobody else was asleep either, and he couldn’t tell them to let him do it first, so he had his eye on the time.

He was gonna message Huo Ran privately, but then he felt that it would be better to send it in the group chat first. It would be more natural that way. 

Good thing that maintaining character was his strong suit.

As the seconds hit 56, he counted 57, 58, and then quickly switched to the group chat. At 60 seconds, he sent out the message that he already typed out.

-Happy birthday, Huo Ranran, wishing you happiness every day without a worry in the world

The timestamp showed as 00:00. Perfect. 

Neither of the others were as on time as him, but they were all close after. If he didn’t have his eye on the time, these guys would’ve beat him to it.

-are you guys not sleeping?!

Huo Ran asked, and then he sent a laughing emote.

-you talk like you’re sleeping, you were staring at your phone waiting, right 

-if we fell asleep, you would’ve yelled at us!

-nah, kou chen would’ve remembered for sure

They all laughed in the group chat, and then Kou Chen tapped on his and Huo Ran’s private messages, sending him 520 in a red packet.

-happy birthday, ranran 

-first time seeing someone send money in a red packet like this

-accept it!

Huo Ran accepted the money.

-you could’ve just sent 5.20 

-no way, I was just scared you wouldn’t accept it if I sent too much, or else I would’ve sent 5200 

Huo Ran didn’t reply, and Kou Chen switched back to the group chat. Seeing that he was texting in there, he also joined in.

-do you have your memory box

Huo Ran sent another private message. 

-yup, it’s open

Kou Chen flipped over on his bed and made a box-opening motion. Even though nobody would see him, he was still serious about it.

Huo Ran sent him a screenshot of their conversation just now.

-put this in 

-okay

Kou Chen grabbed at the screen, and then put it in the box.

-done