Chapter 320 Why Do They Leave?
Everyone leaves eventually.
They won't.
What if they do?
I won't let that happen.
What if they do?
I'll chase after them.
What if they want to you leave you?
They don't.
What if they want to leave you?
I don't want them to leave me.
What if they want to?
I don't want them to leave me.
What if they want to?
I won't leave them.
What if they want to?
I won't...
***
Elisa had done her best to -not- focus on her sense of hearing.
She was both curious and worried of course, but chose not to check. Not even using the Wind.
She fiddled with her hair as she waited.
Tsk-
Elisa wanted to touch him more. To kiss him more.
And she wanted him to touch her.
But soon, he would come back covered by blood.
Would she be able to...?
In the first place, would he try to kiss her when covered by blood?
Elisa wasn't sure.
'Even then... He looked. He checked, before... Eating that Monster.'
Indeed, Mark had looked in her direction before Devouring the Siren.
Was he really checking for her? Or was Elisa trying to convince herself? Trying to further prove to herself the existence of a certain sense of shame and restraint?
'But at the same time...' She bit down on her thumb.
Was she really in a place to say anything about that?
He had gone into the darkness to fight whatever was lurking there.
And he had gone alone, saving her the trouble of doing so.
She didn't like killing, and Mark knew that.
Whatever blood he spilled,
'He spilled it for me...'
Had Elisa gone there with him, she, too, would have spilled that blood.
Any blood that covers his body, covers it because he kept it from reaching her.
In that way,
'What right do I have to say anything?' Elisa let out a sigh.
***
One by one, they leave.
One by one, they go away.
If they don't go out of their own volition, they're taken away.
Light, Levi, Gray, Fiery, the Fire Spirit.
If they don't go out of their own volition, they're taken away.
They all leave.
Sin, Cer, Kira, Kalès.
If they don't go out of their own volition, they're taken away.
They all leave.
Classmates, Underlings, friends.
If they don't go out of their own volition, they're taken away.
They all leave.
Will they leave me too?
They won't.
What if they do?
Then they should do it now.
Huh?
Leave now.
But you don't want them to leave?
If they're leaving anyway, I'd rather them leave now.
Wouldn't you be sad about that?
If they're leaving anyway, I'd rather them leave now.
So you want them to leave?
If they're leaving... If they're going away... I'd rather have never known them.
Then what now?
What now...?
***
The sound of his feet smacking the ground resonated through the darkness, sending a chill down Elisa's spine.
She immediately turned around and stood up.
There he was, covered by blood.
There she was, beautiful as ever.
Mark walked closer.
"Hey, sorry about that..." Elisa apologized as she lowered her gaze, blushing slightly from embarrassment. "Shouldn't have left you to-"
Hm-
Her words were interrupted as he lay a hand on her neck and cheek, slightly raising her chin.
His lips met hers before she could say a word.
Elisa felt the need to say something.
They had fought together for so long that, leaving him to fight alone now, felt strange and odd.
Still, it did feel good. Not having to fight. Not having to kill.
More so than that, it felt good that he allowed her not to. That he could allow her that luxury.
The luxury to not participate in the -kill or be killed- exchange that Monsters are so fond of. nove(Lb-In
It felt good that he had fought for her. It felt good... That he had killed for her. Because it was the only way.
It felt good that he had protected her.
It felt good that he had kissed her.
Still, Elisa pulled back.
She stared into his eyes for a bit.
"I'm sorry for... Leaving you alone to fight there."
He didn't say a word.
She placed a strand of her behind her ear.
"And..."
***
Why do they all leave?
Is there something wrong with me?
Duh! I'm stuck in a hospital. I can't run, I can barely walk, and there are days when my legs can barely handle my weight.
Of course, there's something wrong with me.
That's not the question.
Being sick. Being stuck in the hospital. That's what's wrong with me. That's why they leave me. Whether it's the classmates I used to have, the friends I used to have, or the people I met inside the hospital. They leave me because I'm still there. Because I'm still sick. Because they get better and I don't.
If I wasn't sick, they wouldn't leave me!
Is that true?
It is!
But how come not one of them remained?
Because they had places to go to! Places... I couldn't go to!
Is that so?
It is!
But then... Why did mom and dad leave us too?
Huh?
Mom and dad. Why did they leave us?
They didn't.
They stopped coming to see us. They left us.
They didn't!
If even mom and dad left us, then there really is something wrong with us.
There isn't!! We're sick, that's all!!
So it's just because I was sick?
It is!
Why did mom and dad give up on me then?
Because you were sick.
They gave up on me... Because I was sick?
Yes!
That's the only reason? What type of parents would give up on their child just because he was sick?
Your parents! They did! But that's the only reason!
Nothing else is wrong with me?
Nothing else!
Nothing else...
***
"I'm sorry for... Leaving you alone to fight there. And..."
Overcome by a mix of different and, sometimes, conflicting emotions, Mark remained silent.
"Thanks. Thank you for doing that. For doing it for me. Thanks for... Doing it in my place."
After staring down for a bit, Elisa raised her gaze.
He was smiling, and she immediately felt the urge to kiss him.
His face wasn't scary. His smile wasn't ugly.
She held him tightly and kissed him.
His purple pupil shone brightly.
On his usually unreadable face, a smile filled with sadness.
