Chapter 342 Coward
Coward. Coward. Coward.
Coward.
Over and over again,
Coward. Coward. Coward.
The word repeated incessantly.
Coward!
How many times had the word been repeated?
Coward! Coward! Coward!
The white-scaled Monster ran and ran and ran.
Coward! Coward! Coward!
Mark couldn't tell anymore.
Coward! Coward! Coward!
Was the word resonating inside his head? Was he thinking it himself?
Coward! Coward! Coward!
Or was it shouted by the Darkness that relentlessly followed him?
Coward! Coward! Coward!
"SHUT UP! LEAVE ME!"
"COWARD! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING? WHERE ARE YOU RUNNING TO??"
"I SAID SHUT UP!"
"FIGHTING MONSTERS FEARLESSLY! KILLING! DEVOURING! AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY? WHEN DID YOU BECOME SUCH A COWARD?!"
The white-scaled Monster clenched its teeth, and continued running.
"ALL YOU DO IS RUN AWAY! COWARD! RUNNING AWAY FROM THE COMMANDER! RUNNING AWAY FROM ELISA! AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY AGAIN!"
Its foot was trapped by a shallow hole in the ground. The white-scaled Monster stumbled, and fell to its knees.novE(lb-In
"I'm not..." It clenched the fists that lay on the ground. "Running away. I need to... I need to..."
The white-scaled Monster stood, and ran once more.
"WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY FROM? THE COMMANDER'S SMILE? ELISA? YOUR ACTIONS? WHAT ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY FROM??" The Darkness shouted.
All of them.
None of them.
All of them.
"Where are you going?"
The white-scaled Monster's running slowly grew slower, until it came to a stop.
"Weren't you going back to Elisa? Weren't you going to explain yourself?"
"I... I was. I am! I'll go back and-" The white-scaled Monster started turning around when,
"Go back and take her. Go back and do what it is your body wants. Yield to your impulses. Make her yield to your impulses. Force her. Go back, and take what is yours."
"No... No, I-"
"Do it. What are you afraid of?"
"I don't want it... To happen again. I don't want... To lose control..."
"Didn't you want to go wild with the Commander earlier? Deep down, weren't you mad at Elisa for keeping you from doing that?"
"That was different!"
"So you only want to lose control in certain situations?"
"I didn't lose control against the Commander! I was fighting! It just-"
"What does it mean to go wild, Mark? It means not having to think. It means doing what you want without thinking about it. Without thinking about how or whys. Without thinking about consequences-"
"NO! THAT'S NOT WHAT I WANT!"
"Isn't it? You think too much. That's why it feels so good to let go."
"NO! NO! NO! IT WASN'T ME! IT WASN'T WHAT I WANTED!"
The tiredness, the fatigue, the dizziness, and its own shouting brought the Monster to its knees.
"You liked her."
"I did! I do!"
"You wanted to kiss her."
"I did!"
"You wanted fuck her."
"I... Did."
"What if she rejected you?"
"Then... I would have backed off."
"But would that desire have disappeared?"
"I would have made it disappear!"
"Why?"
"Why...? Obviously because I... Because I..."
"Since when do you back off? Since when do you bend a knee in front of your enemies? You fight them how you want. You kill them how you want. You do what you want."
"She's not my enemy."
"Who's your enemy then?"
"My enemy...? The Monsters! The Monsters that stand in my way!"
"You're not in the Dungeon anymore. Who are your enemies?"
"Those who try to kill me."
"Lin and the other Commander? Yarnha?"
"Those are... Those are..."
"Hahahaha!" The sudden laughter resonating made Mark shudder. "Laughable. How utterly laughable. You don't need a reason. Fight and kill for no other reason than the fact that neither backed off. Isn't that right? Yarnha backed off, but you didn't let her. Lin backed off, but you didn't let him. You're forgetting what you are. Did your time with Elisa make you forget about it? How many times did you think it? How many times did you tell her? What are you, Mark?"
"A... I'm a... Monster."
"What's with your tone? You told her that so many times. You tried convincing her so many times. Why did you do that?"
"Because..." Mark slowly raised his arms to the side, as if presenting himself. "I am one."
"You said it so many times, but you don't seem to mean it now. If you do mean it, then there's nothing strange going on. Nothing to worry about. You're a Monster, and you acted like one. Killing someone that another values, hurting those around you, forcing yourself on a beautiful woman. It's what one would expect from a Monster, is it not?"
"It's..."
"You said it so many times. Don't tell me... Don't tell me you've simply been trying to convince yourself all this time?"
"I am a Monster."
"Then? Go back and take her. It's your right, as a Monster."
"That's not..." Mark, still on his knees, curled his back slightly as he stared at the ground. "That's not the kind of Monster I am. The kind of Monster..."
"The kind of Monster you want to be? Ah! Foolish AND laughable. Did all that thinking get you confused? Did all that Evolving make you forget? Did you get lost in the fantasy after spending time with Elisa? You can't choose what you are. You're a Monster. And all Monsters are the same."
"They're not... Lin and..."
Mark's heart shook.
He quickly turned around but,
"She stayed behind. She's fighting right now. But you ran away. You ran so much that you can't even see them anymore. She's fighting THAT Monster for you. To allow you to run away. And you didn't even get her Name. You didn't even care to ask."
The white-scaled Monster's gaze slowly moved back to the ground in front of it.
"You're scared that you'll fall prey to this -Influence- you talk about. Don't be. If anything, see it as encouragement. Do what you want. Take what you desire. Go back. Take her. Finish what you started. You can fight it, but it's a fact. A fact you have acknowledged long ago."
Mark pushed himself off the ground.
"You're a Monster."
He ran.
"Act like one. Continue acting like one."
Away from it all, he ran.
"A Monster will remain a Monster no matter what."
