Volume 1 - CH 5

(Sarasa Ashizawa's POV)

I, Sarasa Ashizawa, have always been an ordinary person.

Since elementary school, I've been a plain girl with no noteworthy characteristics. And all I did was study and do sports.

As a result, I was often made fun of by others for a long time, and I had been living a boring life, forcing myself to smile and cover it up.

…Many times I had wondered if my life would be like this for the rest of my life.

One day in my third year of high school, as I was living with this thought, something happened that changed my life forever.

“Hey, do our homework for us! Thanks in advance."

"Ah.., uh.. yes...."

That day, my classmates pushed me to do their homework as usual, but I was too timid to say no, so I accepted and was doing it alone in the empty classroom after school.

When I thought that I was going to be pushed around by someone else I was so frustrated that I almost cried. I don’t want to live my whole life being bullied like this.

Just then, he suddenly appeared.

"What are you doing?"

"...Eh?"

A male student peeked out from the hallway.

He was a classmate from the next class, Shoryu Kiryu.

Compared to me, he is a cheerful person treating everyone brightly and is the complete opposite of me.

That's why I was not very good at talking to him. However...

"Could it be that you are doing your homework? But this is for more than one person, isn't it? I see, someone must have forced you to do it.”

"Eh?... um…”.

"Damn, if they can't do it by themselves, they shouldn't be using other people. I get it. I'll tell them not to do this anymore, okay? Tell me their names.”

"No... that’s not it..."

I didn't want the guy to get into trouble because of me.

I couldn’t stand the thought of him ending up in the same situation as me.

But instead of paying attention to my refusal, he said with a puzzled look on his face. He asked, "Why don’t you want me to help you? Are you sure you want to go on like this? Can you even enjoy your life being ordered by those pricks like that?

"Well, that's…”

"We've only got one year left of high school. You must have been thinking ‘If I can put up with them now, I might be able to say goodbye to them later', right? But are you sure about that? Won't they still be around and continue to bully you later?"

Sarasa: “....”

He was right about that.

Even at the university, the same thing might continue to happen to me in the future.

No, I don’t want to become an object that can be toyed by others!

This is bad!

"So, you have to change, okay? Don’t worry, I'll help you."

"Eh?!... Yes?... but?”

"In exchange, you'll teach me to study! If I don't, I might not be able to go to the university of my choice! Please!"

It was the first time in my school life that someone genuinely relied on me rather than ordering me.

I made up my mind. I was going to change for him.

But then I thought about how I, a naive girl was.

However, I was so happy.

So, from that day on, I started to trim my hair, which I had neglected before. I started to wear make-up and made an effort to speak clearly and cheerfully.

Every day after school I started studying with him and enjoyed my time with him.

Soon the months had passed like days and we finally graduated.

I was sad that I would never get to see him again, but then I found out that he had gone to the same university as me.

This was fate.

It was a miracle bestowed on me by Kami-sama!(God).

And so I met him again...

"I've been in love with you since… the first time I met you! Please go out with me!...!"

I made the confession for the first time in my life. The reply was, yes.

I was so happy that day that I gave him my first kiss.

Later on, we went on many dates and I also had my first s*x.

I was happy every day. I only hoped that these days would not end.

But at the same time, deep down I felt uneasy.

He had a lot of friends.

Among them, the one he was closest to was his best friend, Kurusu Mone.

She was a beautiful woman and was always a lethargic downer, but she often talks with him.

Seeing the two of them talking so well together, my heart began to race with anxiety.

...Maybe one day he would be taken away from me?

No, no, no, no, no, no, nO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

I will absolutely not allow it!

I've got to get those two apart somehow.

But if I stick too closely to him, he might say that I'm too annoying.

I definitely didn't want him to think about me like that.

He even booked a cake without telling me.

So why...?

It was then that I finally realized the foolishness of what I had done.

What should I do?

"Ah, I see.."

And then a thought crossed my mind: I should make him think that he couldn’t let go of me.

Yes, if I gave him a cold shoulder, he wouldn't leave my side, after all, he loves me.

Wouldn't that make him stay with me forever? And wouldn't that make him give up on her?

That's what I was thinking at that time.

And from then, I started to be cold towards him.

Every time I spoke out of turn, he would make a sad face. Seeing him like that broke my heart too.

But just as I had planned, he was desperately clinging to me.

This made me feel protective of him, and every time I thought about this, I felt butterflies in my stomach in happiness.

I couldn't forget the pleasure I felt, so I continued to lash out at him every day and treated him ruthlessly.

But that might have been a mistake in the first place.

"Let's break up."

One day, he said that.

I couldn't understand him. After all, it didn’t make any sense to me.

He's been hanging on to me for so long, but I never expected him to break up with me.

I didn't want to break up with him. That was just a pretext. The truth was that I felt so comfortable with him hanging on to me that I didn't want to let him go.

At the same time, I remembered the first days of my relationship with him.

I had loved him so much, but where had I gone wrong?

What was I supposed to do now?

Since that day, he's been acting differently towards me.

But I didn't want to admit it.

Because I still loved him so much.

I don't want to let him go. Absolutely, I won't let him go.

He's mine. He's mine and mine alone.

I'll talk to him like before. I'm done being cold.

I'll bring back those happy days, and I promise, I'll take good care of him this time.

"Shoryu..."

I said the name of the person I just started dating.

His lovely name.

"I love you..."

Just by saying this, I felt as if I am filled with endless joy.

I really like him. I love him. I want to be with him forever.

His mind and body all belong to me.

I won't give them to anyone. I won't allow anyone to snatch him away from me.

I'll have him all to myself.

After all, I'm his lover.

I'm the only one who would always be by his side.

There should be nothing wrong with that, right?

"I love you, Shoryu-kun..."

I'm sorry I've been so cold to you.

I'm sorry I've been so cruel to you.

I finally realized the most important thing.

I can't live without you.

I'm sure you can't either, can you, Shoryu?

That's why you pushed me away so coldly, isn't it?

Hmm, I understand.

Because we're lovers.

We're just like each other, Shoryu-kun.

That's why no matter how cold you are, no matter how abusive you are, no matter how violent you are, I'll accept it all.

Because I love you.

“By the way,... Shoryu-kun, did you start a part-time job?”

I won’t allow you to go to a part-time job without my permission.

I'm sure you're not the only one.

Just the fact that you're talking to another woman makes me want to kill her.

I will never forgive you for cheating on me.

But.. maybe the reason he started working part-time is that he was planning to marry me.

Mmm… He surprisingly has such a shy side.

So the breakup talk and the part-time job were only meant to be a surprise for me.

“Oh, my God... That part of you is cute too.”

So, as his wife, I have to wait till he picks me up.

“I will wait for you, my dear…”