‘I’m scared…’
Verdic clearly had no intention of going back home until he’d get to see that girl’s neck hanging on a rope.
Isella nervously observed her father’s expression, then she eventually tried to bring up what she’d been thinking all along.
“Father…”
“What,” snapped Verdic as he was still glaring at the spire.
“I-I’m scared.”
“There’s nothing for you to be scared of. It’s all over now.”
Isella shook her head. The one she’s afraid of was the man in front of her.
But he’s her father. She shouldn’t be scared of him. There was something scarier than him.
“Father, I… Did I see it correctly?”
Isella was not confident with her own memories.
“Did I… Did I surely see those things?”
“What are you blathering on about now.”
Verdic raised his tone. Isella hesitated before she replied.
“I don’t even remember the fire… Surely, I… Then Carynne… with Lord Hare. I saw her in that room with her father. But I didn’t see the exact moment she killed him.”
Verdic jabbed a finger into Isella’s shoulder and said,
“You had an injury. Didn’t you say that it was Carynne who did that to you?”
“Y-Yes, it was her.”
At this, Isella nodded vigorously.
But that was the only thing she was sure of.
As soon as she had woken up, she heard the news of her broken engagement—that Raymond Saytes was now betrothed to Carynne, not herself.
So, with a frantically high-pitched voice, she recounted the events of that night.
Carynne ran after her along a dark hallway, red hair flowing behind her. Endlessly, endlessly, the chase went on. She was laughing. The hallway was too dark. It wouldn’t end.
“…Surely… that girl didn’t…”
Isella finally woke up from her nightmare. She hugged herself, hands on her trembling shoulders. Even after she had woken up already, fear had yet to leave her.
A new fear instead dawned upon her.
“I didn’t see with my own eyes that she killed… What if I… What if I saw it wrong?”
Things had grown out of proportion.
At that courthouse, Raymond was staring at her, when those countless aristocrats had their full attention on her… she felt utterly devastated.
Did she really tell the truth and nothing but the truth?
Really?
“Isella, Isella.”
Verdic took a step closer to his daughter. Then, he wrapped his arms around the girl’s quivering shoulders. Verdic gently comforted her.
“You’re being much too kind-hearted to the point that it’s an illness.”
“B-But, Father—”
Her tremors would not stop. Isella had been under pressure to speak. She hated Carynne. She loathed the girl so much that she wanted to kill the girl for stealing away her fiancé.
And she’s scared of Carynne. She wished—prayed—that the girl would disappear from this world.
“I’m scared…”
However, coming personally to the site of Carynne’s imminent death, just waiting for her neck to be hanged… This was another matter altogether.
For her to wait here, twiddling her thumbs, to lay her own eyes upon a real corpse—it’s something she never thought of.
“I-It’s still too much for me to handle, Father.”
This entire situation was too much. Isella felt that she was still too young for this. Things had gotten out of hand.
Even so, Verdic remained adamant.
“You’re old enough to see your enemy’s corpse and check whether she’s really dead. You’re already an adult.”
Isella could not stop trembling. Verdic continued speaking.
“Isella.”
“…Yes, Father.”
“What are you so scared of? It is the truth that Carynne had killed before, just as much as it is the truth that she had hurt you. Take revenge for that—rip her flesh apart. After all, you are my daughter.”
Isella shook her head.
“What if… I saw it wrong?”
“That’s possible, yes.”
Verdic nodded. Isella was astounded. It’s possible?
He repeated it once more.
“It’s possible that you might have seen it wrong, yes. It’s not an easy feat for a teenage girl to kill her fully adult father.”
Had he taken this under consideration from the beginning? He already expected it?
“B-But… If that’s the case—”
“Enough.”
Verdic sternly replied.
“Does that change the fact that she caused you harm?”
“……”
“I can forgive you, my daughter, for making mistakes. But I cannot ever allow anyone else to harm us.”
“Father!”
Verdic was unyielding. But Isella had to say what she needed to say. In the past—no, even now. Her father had always been like this. But she had to say it.
Because she’s terrified.
“I, I… The last thing I saw before I fell unconscious was a man… not a woman.”
“Yes, it’s clear that it was Sir Raymond Saytes.”
Blue flames erupted in Verdic’s eyes.
“He didn’t save you—he saved that red-haired wench. He must have left you there on purpose.”
No, Father.
Isella knew that’s not what happened. Even after everything, Raymond wouldn’t abandon her there. Isella was certain that he wouldn’t be able to do so.
Raymond was the kind of knight who’d walk up to his enemy and say, ‘You paid the wrong price.’
“I just don’t know! What if… What if… Father, I’m just asking what if.”
Isella gulped nervously. She’s horrendously anxious. She’s utterly terrified.
What she’s afraid of was not Carynne.
“What if Dullan Roid was the man who strangled me?”
Isella was terrified of that.
She vaguely recalled the voice of that man.
“I warned you.”
“Don’t pay attention to useless things.”
Wasn’t it Dullan who strangled her?
“T-Then.”
Isella was terrified of this doubt festering within her. And she was even more afraid because she couldn’t get a read on that man.
Raymond was rather easy to understand. He’s not happy with Isella because of Verdic. She knew that. She already knew.
But with Dullan— If the one who had strangled her was that hunched, sickly pale priest…
Didn’t this mean that he was the one who kept her unconscious and also willed her awake, all due to his own agenda?
“Why are you bringing up Dullan Roid?”
Isella was terrified. Because she couldn’t even form one single guess.
“…Isella.”
Verdic embraced his daughter’s trembling shoulders. His hold on her was firm. And, at the same time, his hold on her was cruel.
He gradually raised his hunched daughter and said,
“Do you think that Dullan Roid, that priest, would have been able to manipulate this father of yours?”
“…Hiccup.”
Isella was terrified because that man had been next to her father far too long. And she was terrified because that man was the one who tended to her all this time.
By no means could that man possibly be a good man. So, she despised him.
“Isella, there’s nothing for you to be scared of. Isn’t it obvious what Dullan is doing to Carynne inside that tower?”
One thought passed through Isella’s mind, that her father’s hands felt disgusting. If her mother was here in front of her, she wouldn’t have chosen to comfort her in this way. Any woman would not use this method for revenge.
But this was what Verdic chose.
“You think Dullan manipulated me? Really?”
Verdic chuckled. Then, he looked at the spire.
“Now that you’re awake, I don’t need him.”
“……”
“I’d like to see him try.”
* * *
Carynne stared at Dullan, speechless. It’s impossible to figure him out. He’s always been so manipulative.
“Just what… are you talking about right now.”
“Tell me.”
“It’s already come to this, but what kind of drivel are you spouting now!”
Carynne was furious.
Are you kidding me? Why the hell are you saying such bullshit now? The truth— Isn’t it clear what the truth is? I repeat the same life over and over again. I thought I had fallen into a novel, but that’s nothing but mere delusion. To put an end to these never-ending loops, I have to give birth to a child and pass on the curse to them. But it’s impossible for all this to end because I’m barren. This is a fact that you, Dullan, admitted to me before the trial.
“You speak of love to me? SHUT UP! Just why the hell are you doing this to me until now!”
But Dullan kept looking down from above at Carynne. He did not waver.
“T-The wager is not over yet.”
Was there hope? Carynne stared at Dullan. Was there a way for her to get an answer? Carynne mulled it over.
Ah, I should have killed Dullan at the start. No, I wouldn’t be able to get an answer if I killed him first.
Dullan, Dullan.
What should I do with you?
Tak.
“I love him.”
But she must answer first.
Carynne replied, schooling her features into a serious expression.
“I love Sir Raymond. You’re a witness to it, too.”
“……”
“You saw it. Look at how much he had given up for me after the few months that we were together. He sacrificed all that, only to be left with nothing. Even now… He told me to wait no matter what until the end. He said that he would definitely come get me.”
Carynne dug through her thoughts.
What else was there?
“There was nothing I could offer him in return, but he did all that for me. How could it not be love when he did that much?”
“N-Not that man,” Dullan countered. “Y-You. How do you feel?”
Carynne clutched her skirt tightly before answering.
“I love him back, of course. How can I not love a man who’s wholly dedicated to his sacrifice to… me…”
But Dullan did not answer.
He got up. Carynne clung to him.
“Wait, wait. No. Dullan. I love you. I was wrong. I don’t love Sir Raymond. I love you, you. Help me.”
“……”
Dullan’s face became distorted. Carynne took one look at that expression and decided to cut with the bullshit that wasn’t even funny.
Everything’s wrong from the start so why. Why did she keep trying to find hope. Why was she so foolish.
“…Fine, I get it.”
Carynne lowered her head.
“I don’t have the ability to love. Maybe. It’s just… Whether the other person’s good or bad, it’s just not right, so I have not loved.”
Carynne admitted it. No other man who loved her that much would ever show up. Her time was limited. And, not only in this life, but didn’t she confirm it over and over before? How many times. Oh, how many times was it.
Raymond never ended up hating Carynne—it was like that, again this time. No matter what she did. Even if she had killed.
So, she did not choose. It’s for this reason that she took this whole world for granted. All this time, hadn’t she been thinking that this was all just a novel?
Raymond did his very best, always. To the point that she thought it’s fascinating to watch.
Her knight. Her male lead.
“But I cannot love him.”
In just a little while, he would forget Carynne.
“What’s the point int doing that…”
Yet again, the narrative would scatter. Time would rewind itself and bring her back to the beginning.
None of those efforts, none of those affections, none of those duties, and none of that hatred.
Everything would disappear. All of the relationships she had built would collapse.
So, Carynne could not love.
Never.
Her time did not continue. In the end, no one would be able to understand her. No one would live this resetting life with her. She would be alone evermore.
“Love is something that happens between two human beings. It can’t happen between a human and a fictional character. I’ve been told that the notion that this world is a novel is false. But what? That changes nothing. No one can share this world—this experience—with me.”
From the very beginning, this wager between them was inapplicable.
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