143 – Rationale and emotions

[Play Clannad OST - Incessant] 

John held up his hands and quickly started talking. "N-Now I can explain-"

Zhaojun shook her head, causing her black hair to scatter around her. "What is there to explain?! Senior Brother, you...! Did you not say that you loved Senior Sister? Did you not choose her above m- most things in this world?" She clenched her hands and said, "How could you? How could you leave her behind at such an important time?"

John grimaced.

That... Dammit. Him and his big mouth. He just had to drop that information in the worst way possible, didn't he?

The flames around Daji's nine tails flickered, phasing in and out. But instead of emanating warmth, a frosty chill emitted from her presence as the demonic fox glared at John. "Yes. Big brother... I thought you were more reliable than that. But to leave her behind at such a time when big sister is so vulnerable..."

"Like I said, I can-"

Xuannu shook her head and let out a long sigh. She crossed her arms, causing her silk gown to shift, and said, "I'm disappointed as well, Johnny... But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt this time. You always seem to have a knack for causing misunderstandings."

John sighed. "Thank you, Xuannu-"

"Like the time you borrowed my book of tantric arts."

John winced and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, yeah. That... Um, it was useful?"

Xuannu rolled her eyes and said, "Considering that you managed to place your rice in that princess's rice cooker, I'd agree. Now." She narrowed her eyes. "Let's hear that explanation of yours."

Daji nodded and let out a smile. "Yes. Please tell us exactly why you left big sister behind in such a state when you said that you love her so much."

Zhaojun didn't say anything, only staring at John with her crimson eyes, silently judging him.

Right. An explanation... And from their expressions, it had better be a good one. His instincts were also warning him that failing to provide said good explanation would result in some very not fun times ahead.

He wasn't exactly sure how that would come about, but he also wasn't in the mood to find out.

So then, an explanation. A proper one to explain his reasoning as well as not cause any misunderstandings.

"Well... First off, I guess I'll start by saying that Yue and I had been trying to have a child together for a long time."

Xuannu gave a slow nod. "I'm aware. Little Meggie was born because you couldn't."

"That's right." John nodded and said, "Yue and I made Meggie together just in case we couldn't have a child at all. And she's wonderful, but..."

Daji interjected and said, "But big brother and big sister wanted a real child?"

John narrowed his eyes. "Meggie *is* my real child. Along with Alphy and Betty."

Daji's eyes widened for a moment, and then a faint smile crossed her face. But that quickly faded as she said, "Then why keep trying? If Meggie is your real child, isn't it enough? Or did big sister not think the same?"

John shook his head. "No. Yue thinks the same. And she cares about Alphy and Betty as much as I do even if she didn't get a chance to really show it back in the Three Realms."

Xuannu muttered, "Sure didn't seem like it."

John decided to ignore her. "Anyway. We were trying to have a child together for a while. And we tried a lot of different things to make it work. Long story short, it wasn't working out, so I decided to transcend and then head away for a bit to see if maybe something was wrong with me and stopping the child from being born." He frowned and said, "Also, Yue was starting to get a bit desperate and obsessive. I figured a short break might be good for the both of us."

It wasn't like John could say he didn't enjoy how intimate... and very, very, *very* intimate Yue had been up until the point he transcended and headed back to Earth. If he didn't, then he might as well have cultivated that Divine Yang Sunflower manual and turned himself into a eunuch.

But considering how Yue had been acting... and considering the crazy events that played out when he arrived on Earth, it definitely had been the proper call to make.

*Especially* since the Realm Source had been so desperate to try and get rid of Yue. If that Heart Demon Tribulation had sprung up back in the Three Realms where the Realm Source had full control over the rules of existence and access to everyone John cared for...

Yeah, better that he made that decision to head back to Earth.

Silence.

John suddenly realized that the three women hadn't responded. Neither Xuannu, Daji, nor Zhaojun.

And then a trio of long sighs echoed in the room.

Zhaojun leaned back in the sofa and then tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. "Honestly. Senior Brother is an idiot."

Daji furiously nodded. "A big idiot."

Xuannu sat back down and said, "It seems that intelligence truly isn't a requirement to become a transcendent, is it?"

John frowned. "Hey. I'm being serious here."

Daji covered her face with her hands and shook her head. At the same time, her pure white hair turned back to crimson and her fox tails vanished. "I feel so sorry for big sister. To think that big brother was like this... Maybe I should have gone over to have tea with her anyway..."

Zhaojun nodded. "I feel the same. I should have insisted on spending time with Senior Sister despite her protests..."

John looked between the two women, confused. "What? I know it was bad, but there wasn't anything I could do, you know? That whole mess in the Three Realms just a little while ago was because of the situation with Yue and our unborn child. It would have been a lot worse if I hadn't left."

Xuannu rolled her eyes. "Yes. But even so... No. I suppose this is your nature, so there isn't a point in chastising you too much if you're still so dense even after becoming a transcendent..." She sighed and shook her head.

John coughed. "Hey, I'm working on it, alright? I know I screwed up with leaving so soon, but I'm making it up to everyone."

He also wanted to say that it wasn't like he had the luxury to really consider emotions back in the Three Realms when everyone and their mother wanted a piece of him for varying reasons. But that was just an excuse, so he didn't. After all, it was true that he ended up hurting the people he cared for the most in his actions, even if they could be justified.

"Haah." Xuannu let out a long sigh and then placed her arm against the backrest of the sofa. "Enough about that. I wanted to scold you a bit more, but it seems like you're at least aware of your mistakes." She glanced at John and then let out a warm smile. "And you've also become a bit like your younger self again, so I suppose I can't complain too much."

"Eh?" John blinked. "My younger self?" He frowned. "...I would have thought I'd matured more instead of reverted back to my younger days."

Zhaojun picked up her fallen guitar and began repairing it. As she did, she said, "Senior Brother has indeed matured... but Senior Brother has also become a great deal more relaxed." She looked out of the window and said, "Returning to your home world truly has done wonders for you... even if at the cost of you becoming a bit less wise."

"Oi!"

Zhaojun giggled and went back to fixing her guitar.

John let out an exasperated sigh but he couldn't stop a smile from crossing his face.

"Enough serious talk!" Daji interjected and then walked over to John.

Before he could do anything, she sat on his lap and said, "Headpat!"

John rolled his eyes and said, "Daji. You're a grown woman now. I am not going to-"

"Big Brother." Daji interrupted John and said, "I have been running the Demon Realm for countless years since you helped me ascend the throne. And since you've married Big Sister, I haven't been able to see my Big Brother or talk to him at all... Or my beautiful and smart niece Betty. So." She looked up at John and said, "Headpat."

John sighed and then started ruffling Daji's hair. As he did, a pair of fluffy fox ears popped into existence and started twitching. Seeing that, he shook his head and then lightly massaged them.

Daji let out a content sigh and leaned into John.

"...You know, you're never going to get married at this rate, Daji."

Daji huffed and cuddled up more against John. "Who needs to get married anyway? Big brother is the only one I need."

John sighed but he didn't say anything back to refute her. After all, those words had already been said before, so it would only be hurtful to repeat them.

Instead, he remained quiet and dutifully gave Daji the headpats she demanded.

It was definitely a bit awkward since she wasn't the small girl that could completely fit on his lap anymore or the tiny fox that used to fall asleep beside him, but Daji was still the same cute girl that he came to care for like a younger sister.

John smiled and then looked over to Xuannu and Zhaojun, planning on talking about what to do next.

And then he realized that Zhaojun was staring at Daji with envious eyes.

Seeing that, John chuckled and waved his left hand, causing a chair to form next to him. After that, he patted it and said, "Don't be shy, Little Zhaojun. I owe you some headpats too, don't I?"

Zhaojun blushed and said, "T-That is quite alright, Senior Brother. I-I am not so childish as to- Eeek?!"

Before she could protest any further, John waved his hand again and pulled her over, plopping her into the chair next to him. After that, he reached out with his left hand and patted her head as well. "There, there. You've done a good job... and thank you for accepting Yue and worrying for her."

Zhaojun tensed, and then the black-haired beauty lowered her head, blushing as she accepted the headpats.

A peaceful and nostalgic scene, reminiscent of the distant past. Everyone had changed, but sitting there with those two, John could almost see those days.

A young and uncertain black-haired beauty, barely in her teens who had been sent off to be engaged to a king in order to quell a conflict.

A young red-haired and fox-eared girl who found him wandering in the Demon Realms and prepared a meal for him, despite the potential danger.

The three of them, along with Alphy and Betty, spending time together while wandering around looking for treasures...

Ah.

John blinked, suddenly remembering that there was someone else in the room as well.

Xuannu rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, don't mind me, Johnny. Just ignore the woman that you said you loved like a dear older sister while coddling your cute younger sisters."

John coughed and let out a wry smile.

-----AI|IA-----

Qing ignored the envy and urge to rant about how the heavens were absolutely blind and that existence was completely rigged from hearing how John resolved a situation that should have blown up in his face.

Instead, he took a calm sip of some black coffee and placed down some stronger privacy formations to isolate himself further from the events occurring just outside his office. That done, he picked up his phone to call the first hopeful candidate on the list to schedule an interview.

One ring. Two. Three... and then on the fourth, someone picked up.

*Hello?*

A tomboyish voice. Still clearly feminine, but a bit brash and energetic.

"Hello there. This is Qing Long, from Myth Inc. HQ. Is this Miss Yozora?"

*OH?! Yes! That's me! Shu Yozora! Did Mister Smith finally get my letter?*

"...Letter?"

*Eh?*

Qing rubbed the bridge of his nose, feeling another headache coming on. "...Why don't you start from the beginning, Miss Yozora?"