CH 9

“Are you feeling okay now?”

“Yes, it’s all better.”

In the evening, I had the porridge and took the medicine Jang Yoonsung bought for me and the next day, my condition improved to a surprising extent. Although I didn’t have much strength, I could at least do some kind of work.

Since it was difficult to move for Chairman Jang, he was unable to come up to the second floor, but he was very frustrated. After dinner, he sat in the living room and while having and sharing fruits, he lamented how worried he was about me. Also, finally, he shot his arrow at  Jang Yoonsung.

“So Yoonsung, you should have taken better care of her.”

“But I can’t stop the rain from falling and I also got drenched by the rain?”

Jang Yoonsung retorted as he shoved the fruit in his mouth. No matter what anyone said, Jang Yoonsung was the one who tried his best for me that day.

“Are you and Jiyoung the same? Isn’t Jiyoung a girl?”

Cough.

I thought I got used to it but naturally, I choked at how Chairman Jang called me a girl. Jang Yoonsung clicked his tongue and tapped me on the back. Chairman Jang still believed that I had not gotten well yet and worried again.

Jang Yoonsung didn’t resemble his father, but his grandfather. Probably as a result, Chairman Jang avoided answering questions about his grandson’s personality. It would be embarrassing to praise his grandson’s personality which was akin to his.

“How are you going to get married? What are you going to do if Jiyoung leaves for America?”

Chairman Jang glanced and met my eyes before bringing up the talks of marriage again.

“What is the problem? Your grandson also goes to a university in America.”

“You kid, do you know how long I will live? It’s because I think I could pass away comfortably once I see you two engaged.”

“Ugh, I don’t know. Grandpa, you can just live for another 50 years. Then it would be better for you to see your grandson’s grandson.”

It was also a talent to say so cheekily  “Grandpa, live a long life.” Jang Yoonsung grumbled and at some point, took an empty plate and started to build a fruit tower on it. A yellow pineapple tower. It wasn’t until the tower was placed in front of me that I realized that I liked pineapples. I never had such a thought because I usually ate it for what it was rather than choosing it over something else.

It was something obvious, but the fruits that were at the villa were so much more delicious than the food I usually had throughout my life. Among them, the most impressive was the pineapple, which was full of sweet juice as if it had been soaked in sugar water. However, to eat only that would be an effort so I thought to eat it at my disposal, however, it seemed like I was too obvious. Seeing how Jang Yoonsung noticed it.

***

Fever or whatever, it was worth a try. The young master who had enough sympathy, in the end, gave a room to the pitiful girl. The clothes were placed in the closet and the cosmetics were put on the dressing table. I also took out the tools I needed to dress up as a woman and hid them deep somewhere.

Yet the room was empty. It was a spacious room, about the size of my room, without having to measure it. There was all the necessary furniture including closets, drawers, beds, and tables but there weren’t many things to fill the emptiness.

Well, it was not that my house had a lot of things. There was no reason to buy and fill it up with something because it was such a place where I slept most of the time and ate when I had time. In the room which Gunwoo and I shared, there were only some school supplies that students could use.

It wouldn’t be very useful but should I bring a pen and a notebook? I sometimes saw Jang Yoonsung studying in the study room. I didn’t know if he would lend me one or two of his if I asked him.

As I pondered about it, I heard the sound of a car outside. The sound of wheels rolling on the small gravel path. As I wondered to see who came or was leaving, I looked outside the window and I noticed Jang Yoonsung’s car leaving the villa.

It usually took Jang Yoonsung to leave for a day or two, if he left with his car. There wouldn’t be any reason for him to wander around the neighborhood so he seemed to do this and that as he headed for Seoul. Was he meeting a friend, or did he have something else to do? It had been some time since Jang Yoonsung reported to me what he was up to, and that he left without a word. I didn’t know why but it made me upset.

The next day, after lunch, I went to take a walk by myself. I looked around for an old bicycle but I couldn’t find the bicycle that would always be waiting at the corner of the garden.

Eventually, I walked down the hill myself. If I crossed another road, I would come close to the reservoir I was able to see from my room. Among the weeds that grew to reach a person’s waist, there was a fishy smell of water. I was walking in search of a way to go a little further inside until I saw a familiar car coming from a distance.

It was the car that Jang Yoonsung left with that day. It had been exactly 23 hours since then. As I waved my hand, the car stopped. The window went down and Jang Yoonsung popped his head out of the window.

“Why are you outside?”

“I was bored.”

“Great. Take this for a second.”

There was a rustling sound from inside the car and Jang Yoonsung held out a bag carrying two chocolate-flavored ice creams. Seeing how it hadn’t melted yet, it seemed that the ice creams were purchased from the small store in the neighborhood down there.

“It’s sweet and bland.”

“That’s the charm.”

Jang Yoonsung said he studied well and learned the charm of it.

Jang Yoonsung handed me the ice cream and pulled over his car off the road. Passing the grassland, there was a seat where there was enough shade, and we sat side by side looking over the river. At once, Jang Yoonsung skillfully peeled the top of the ice cream and bit it with his mouth.

“Where have you been?”

“Seoul.”

Could I ask what he had been up to? As I hesitated, Jang Yoonsung opened his mouth as if it was his turn to talk.

“Why didn’t you go to the hospital?”

He was talking about what happened a few days ago.

“I was scared.”

I wasn’t in a position to reveal my circumstances and there was no excuse to deal with it either. Jang Yoonsung smiled bitterly as if he had been punched. He looked disappointed. I could continue being sly like when I had claimed that I was 20 years old however it felt like I had to persuade him.

“It’s the truth though.”

There was nothing to add as an excuse. It was natural for Jang Yoonsung to be upset with me. I remembered what Jang Yoonsung said to me when my fever went down.

‘I will help you’

‘With what?’

‘Everything’

He said that, but it could have been frustrating for him because he was not provided any explanation by the other person about the situation. Even though I could not reveal that I was a man, I thought it would be okay to talk about my mother’s illness. Then Jang Yoonsung would consider me as much more pitiful than before and offer me a bundle of money and I was not sure what solution he could come up with, trying his best.

However, for some reason, I did not want to reveal Han Jiyoung, no, Lee Hakyung, to Jang Yoonsung. It was not because of cumbersome feelings like my pride or conscience. But it was because there was a vague fear of not being able to fathom the reality.

Jang Yoonsung, as if he gave up hearing whatever story he wanted from me, opened his lips again.

“I was on my way back after talking with my father.”

“Huh?”

Whine, the trees rattled as a small breeze passed. Did he meet Jang Myeongsoo when he went to Seoul?

I still haven’t told Jang Myeongsoo that I was caught being a fake. As, it would be natural for me to be kicked out anyway, after that. Jang Yoonsung might have said that very thing, but strangely, I was not worried about it. It was because I trusted Jang Yoonsung’s words that he would help me with everything, firmly.

“That I really think that you are Han Jiyoung, and I said I believed it this time. Also, if my grandfather wants us to get engaged, I will at least go along with it.”

Should I say I was thankful, I wondered as I nodded my head. Jang Yoonsung stared at me for my response, and as he waited, he dumbfoundedly asked.

“Are you not worried? What are you going to do if my grandfather lives for another 50 years? I can’t break the engagement while my grandfather is still alive.”

I knew that much. Chairman Jang still had a lot on his hands, and since Jang Myeongsoo wanted to possess much more than his other brothers, he seemed to be very relentless to the point of caging his son.

“Then we would be engaged for another 50 years, I guess.”

I couldn’t say it in front of Jang Yoonsung but Jang Myeongsoo already knew. That his father wouldn’t live much longer.

Jang Myeongsoo asked me to keep in touch with Chairman Jang for a while even if I pretended to leave for the US after the summer. Saying that it wouldn’t last that long.

As you get older, can you accept the death of your parents so calmly? I had a fever, and I thought I’d rather die first rather than my mother. Whether it was because he was narrow-minded, it was something Jang Myeongsoo tried not to make it obvious.

“So you would even do a fake wedding?”

“Do I have anything to lose? He said my partner was a 3rd generation prince charming.”

Chairman Jang would not live for another 50 years but even if he did, I had no intention of getting married. It was something similar to a pleasant formality to express one’s gratitude.

Even if it was something Jang Yoonsung must have been sick and tired of hearing, he pretended to be surprised.

“Do I seem like that even in your eyes too?”

“I also have eyes too, you know.”

Jang Yoonsung who muttered that he thought my eyes were there for decoration, bit the ice cream again. Shards of light scattered over the calm water. Just as it was impossible what was going on inside there, it was also impossible to know whether Jang Yoonsung was participating in that scam. He offered to help me but he didn’t make any demands in return. He could have gotten my name in return if he was that curious.

The wind blew again and my ears felt itchy. It was strange. I thought I was walking inside a long dark tunnel but I suddenly felt like I met the light.

It was so bright that I wanted to stop and rest.