That was what I imagined but all I bought with Jang Yoonsung’s card was a book to kill time with and coffee and a sandwich to fill in for my late lunch. When I sent Jang Yoonsung the address of where I was waiting, he replied and told me to enjoy the book. Now that I used Jang Yoonsung’s card, nothing changed and I couldn’t even think of what to buy just because I had an unlimited card in my hand. If it was cash, I would have saved it. Normally, if I could I would have used the card to buy something expensive to surprise Jang Yoonsung, however, this was not the time. Even if I tried to walk my worries away, whatever I did reminded me of Jang Hyunsung’s face at the venue.
Why didn’t I think Jang Hyunsung would be at the company? I sometimes heard about him through newspapers or the news. He had already risen to a high post at the age of forty. The words that Jang Yoonsung once annoyingly said, “Work that reflects on his face” were true and that he graduated earlier than expected concluded that well.
It was stupid. As they didn’t know the world they lived in…After blaming myself for my dullness, anxiety ensued. I was worried whether Jang Hyunsung recognized me or thought I had a connection with Jang Yoonsung.
If everything would be revealed, what expression would Jang Hyunsung have? I should set things straight before he could take any action against me. If I get caught, I should end everything by turning a blind eye to the promise I made with Jang Yoonsung. But then again, I was the one who decided to start living with Jang Yoonsung.
Somehow, simple things didn’t seem simple anymore. I mulled over it while my fingers nervously tapped on the book.
When I forced myself to stop my ministrations, I heard the sound of the chair screeching in front of me.
“You left so confidently so I was expecting that you would be buying a whole bookstore, not a book.”
Jang Yoonsung smiled and sat on the opposite chair. It seemed his work was already over.
“I was going to but I can’t buy it using credit cards.”
I joked back, placing Jang Yoonsung’s card on the table. I didn’t want to be caught in a trance.
“Still, you should have bought a little more than this…”
Jang Yoonsung wanted to say if I could buy good things or more things than what I bought. However, Jang Yoonsung who was looking at the things on the table stopped asking.
I finally closed the book. It has been a while since I came into the cafe but I was still lingering on page 16 and there was a sign of me having my coffee or sandwiches. My jumbled-up mind shouted for me to run away.
“I was thinking about what to buy.”
I said it out of defense but Jang Yoonsung looked interested. He pushed the card towards me, which was still on the table.
“Then keep it and use it when you’re thought.”
Jang Yoonsung carried a tone as if I could buy everything. But I pushed back the card to Jang Yoonsung.
“I don’t want to.”
“Why?”
“I’m afraid I will wear it out too much.”
In the room which Jang Yoonsung prepared for me back at home, there were so many things already organized that it was inconvenient to stay. There was a price tag on the clothes so I inspected a couple of them and took them without checking how much the clothes cost. It was because I was going to wear them anyway so if I got conscious of it, it would be difficult to put them on. I didn’t want to worry about something getting on those clothes or something tearing up.
Jang Yoonsung didn’t seem to understand what I was worrying about so I raised my arm with the watch on it. My original watch broke down so I wore the one in my room.
“I know this is expensive but I don’t know how much it costs.”
“It’s not that expensive.”
Jang Yoonsung immediately refuted it as if it was not worth something to pay attention to.
“I’m sure it’s like that to you. But to me, it’s worth millions…”
At the word millions, Jang Yoonsung smirked and laughed. The situation had always been unrealistic. It was so much more than my salary but amounted to nothing to Jang Yoonsung. When I reached under the table and tapped him, he pretended to listen to me again as if he had never laughed.
“Anyway, I think I’ll be bothered if I know how much this costs. I’ll be careful not to scratch and I’m worried that someone might cut my wrist and steal it.”
Ät that word, Jang Yoonsung slipped his hand on mine.
“I have no intention of giving your fingers to anyone.”
Jang Yoonsung responded as if it was my hand that would be stolen, not the watch.
“It’s not yours.”
I held my hand back coldly. Jang Yoonsung rubbed the tip of my fingers a couple of times, regrettably, and held the card again.
“Okay, I see what you mean. If it’s uncomfortable then it would be better not to know.”
His attitude was rather light and Jang Yoonsung accepted what I said as if he had been listening to me properly. But the card he held in his hand came back to my hand.
“Still, keep it. I still wonder where and what you’re doing and you also might change your mind someday so keep it.”
The day when I might change my mind was unlikely to come and it didn’t matter whether I had the card or Jang Yoonsung did so I didn’t bother. Jang Yoonsung’s name was engraved on the new square plastic.
There were several things I wanted to run away from, the price of the watch, what I received from Jang Myungsoo, my last day with Jang Yoonsung 7 years ago, and the face of Jang Hyunsung I saw today.
They were the reality with which I shouldn’t be facing Jang Yoonsung. No matter how much I think about it, it was something I couldn’t overcome. So I had to turn a blind eye again. The value of things on the body, the limit of the credit card, and the kindness of Jang Yoonsu8ng who lost his memory…I didn’t want to be greedy.
“Aren’t you hungry? Let’s get going.”
Jang Yoonsugn took my book and got up first. While I handed the staff the tray of coffee and sandwiches, Jang Yoonsung seemed to flip through the pages and look through the book. When I came back, he put the book back to his sides and stepped forward.
“Is it your hobby flipping through a book?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You always flip through but you don’t read a word of it.”
“No, I do. If I didn’t read it, then why would I buy it?”
“To add to your collection?”
“No, of course not.”
Jang Yoonsung teased me for dozing off after reading a few books. I didn’t read books for a specific purpose and sometimes I chose a book that was uninteresting or too complicated.
In particular, there was a high probability that the books that I chose were from Jang Yoonsung’s study room. I was caught dozing off several times and I also read only 10 pages for hours so it was expected that he might have his doubts.
When I said I was reading the book properly, Jang Yoonsung said, “Okay” and laughed as if he didn’t trust me.
We came out and walked down the street. We were on our way to dinner however we didn’t even decide where and what to eat. After wandering aimlessly, scrutinizing the signs on the street, we finally entered a crowded udon restaurant. Jang Yoonsung, who had been suffering from crowds all day, seemed a little tired but as soon as we sat side to side on the long table by the window, he looked happy.
“What do you want to eat?”
“Uh…wait a minute.”
Jang Yoonsung put his chin on the table and watched me think about what to order. He might be wondering what there was to think about it at all. After conflicting over the meal and fried shrimp, I eventually decided to order fried shrimp. When I finished ordering and looked relaxed, Jang Yoonsung laughed as if something was funny.
“Do you want to go somewhere for the weekend?”
The day when I moved my luggage and boxes at the villa, wandered around a rainy trail on the mountain, ate meat before we left, drank alcohol, and fell asleep while watching TV…all seemed very fun. I had fun but I had work this weekend.
“What do you mean to go somewhere? We still have to organize what we bought from the villa.”
“Right.”
The response meant that he had completely forgotten why he went down to Gangwon-do in the first place. If it was a simple object, we could have organized it right away but since it was all papers that had important terms, I couldn’t touch those.
Thanks to that, the boxes we bought from the villa were quietly stacked in the room we used as a storeroom. I remembered how many things were in the box and then I suddenly remembered the picture taken in front of the villa. Jang Yoonsung took the picture of me and forgot to send it.
“Oh right, send me the picture you took of me in front of the villa.”
We put our heads together and pulled out our cell phones. I opened my messenger window and looked at Jang Yoonsung’s phone screen.
There were several pictures in the album and they all came out disappointing. It was because the picture focused on me and it did not capture the villa well.
“I wish you could have taken the photo from a bit of distance. You should have included the villa and the garden as well.”
“You must have liked that place, huh?”
“Hm. Since there are not many chances for me to go there.”
I nodded, giving him a vague answer. Jang Yoonsung sent me a picture and said,
“Did you happen to see a camera in my desk drawer?’
“Camera? Oh right, I did. The one with the film.”
“I think there might be some pictures of the villa and its surroundings there. If you want it, I’ll print it out.”
When he said so, the food we ordered was served. When I faced the warm soup, I felt the hunger was forgotten. After taking a sip of noodles and biting the noodles, I looked at the face of Jang Yoonsung who seemed picky about the taste. Fortunately, he had the food without many complaints.
“But why the film camera? Does that even work?”
“My grandfather used to use it but he was such a frugal person. Well, it has been a while since it wasn’t used so I’m not sure if we can still use it. Once the film is safe enough, we can find the picture.”
“I’ll take it tomorrow then. You’re busy.”
“Sure, of course.”
Jang Yoonsung answered casually. We cut back on talking for a while and focused on having dinner. When I suddenly looked up, the sun was setting late. We walked back after the leisure meal.
