The heat which never seemed to end quickly dissipated. The air suddenly became chilly like Jang Yoonsung’s attitude.
“I don’t think there’s much time left to take a walk like this.”
Chairman Jang who had been in the sun for a long time after lunch murmured in a disappointing voice. As I sat down next to the wheelchair and stroked Poongjak, I looked up at Chairman Jang.
Certainly, as the temperature dropped, the number of days Chairman Jang visited outside was decreasing. I wanted to understand what Chairman Jang meant.
“Did Yoonsung do something wrong in Seoul? Should I give him a straightening?”
Chairman Jang was leisurely looking at the garden permeating with autumn vibes and asked if he should take my side. It had already been more than a week since I went to Seoul. Jang Yoonsung barely let go of his anger, even the old man who had been lying in his bed all day noticed. I knew this shouldn’t be something unfair but it turned severely so. So I couldn’t hide my upsetness and nodded.
“Yes, scold him.”
Although he was a weak old man node, Chairman Jang was the one who made Taewon the successful that it was now. It was said that successful people usually had a good eye for figuring people out. He must have known better than anyone that his grandson was not someone to do wrong to anyone. Nevertheless, that kindness of asking me as if he should blame Jang Yoonsung for intimidating me made me a spoiled child.
Chairman Jang responded with a forceful tone as if he was placating me, a little kid.
“Yes, I’ll scold him. I will scold him so that he won’t be able to help but listen to our Jiyoung.”
He didn’t have enough energy to scold Jang Yoonsung. Neither Jang Yoonsung was someone to be scolded but I felt better hearing it. Definitely. When I responded, Chairman Jang promised several times that he would scold him.
I hugged Poongjak and brushed my cheek against his soft fur. Chairman Jang said what he wanted to say as his expression became softer.
“It’s because he has a lot of worries. But I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t like you. There’s nothing to worry about.”
In the end, he was asking for my understanding. I just nodded. There wasn’t anything I could do to soothe that worry. I didn’t even know why Jang Yoonsung was angry in the first place.
A dry wind passed through the garden. The cold possessed my body and I hugged Poongjak tighter. Chairman Jang also coughed.
“Would you like to come inside?”
Chairman Jang’s secretary who was next to him asked nervously. Chairman Jang said he would do so and I also stood up with Poongjak.
That afternoon, Poongjak was gone. It seemed that the helper left the door open for a while to clean. Gosh, what should I do, what should I do, the helper asked me with an uneasy face. She asked me not to inform Jang Yoonsung. Although Jang Yoonsung was not someone to treat his employees rudely, most people working in the villa found him difficult. So eventually, I, the helper lady, and the man who managed the garden went out to find Poongjak.
The most dangerous place was the road where the car drove through so we first combed through there and headed around the lake. It didn’t seem that Poongjak would come to the road but just in case, the uncle decided to keep looking through the area, and the helper lady and I dug through the bushes leading to the garden and leaving the mountain behind.
The barking sound of the dog was small so I had to scan the area widely around the corner. But as I thought, the two of us couldn’t look for such a tiny dog in a wide area so I suggested letting Jang Yoonsung know but the helper hesitated.
“I’ll look for the dog more…”
Jang Yoonsung was the employer of the helper lady. She probably didn’t want to be caught making a mistake. She had been working there for a long time and she was the one who was going to find the dog, she said. On the other hand, I was the one who was going to leave one day anyway. It could be any night depending on Jang Yoonsung’s mood. So I decided to pretend that I lost the dog and get help from Jang Yoonsung for now.
Knock. Knock.
It seemed to be a long time since he heard someone knock on the door. I thought I would hear his voice asking who it was but when he opened the door, it was Jang Yoonsung. According to Jang Yoonsung, his grandson who seemed to have a lot of worries, had a face that seemed yet to reach any closure.
“What?”
I had a voice as if I was not curious about his business.
“Poongjak is gone…I forgot to close the door and probably he got out then.”
“…Did you look inside the house?”
“No. Not yet. I thought he went out so we looked nearby…”
Jang Yoonsung took a glance at the clock and looked out the window. It was still bright outside but soon it would be time for the sun to set. Jang Yoonsung stepped out with a thin cardigan that was hung on the hanger. I thought he would be the one wearing it but he handed it to me.
“Don’t you have anything else to wear?”
My clothes? I just wore what I always wore but he found fault with it. Was he telling me to cover myself up because he didn’t like it? The situation was urgent and it was chilly outside so I put on the cardigan without hesitation and followed Jang Yoonsung.
Jang Yoonsung asked another helper to look inside the house and we decided to look under the foot of the mountain. Still, he said that the dog wouldn’t have gone far, whether he had climbed the mountain or gone down the road because he was still a young dog. Nevertheless, maybe it was because I was feeling anxious, my eyes kept going deep into the mountains.
Don’t tell me any big animals on that mountain could harm Poongjak so I shouted his name eagerly gathering all my thoughts. I walked towards nowhere when I called that name from inside the house but seeing how there was no sign, I thought the dog might have traveled further.
Jang Yoonsung who told me to keep looking around the foot of the mountain, was repeating the name, unable to suppress his feelings as well, and walked towards the deeper part of the mountain.
“Poongjak! Poongjak!”
My throat felt sore and my voice began to crack. I couldn’t sound as loud as I wanted so I cleared up my throat. Just as I was to repeat the dog’s name a couple more times, a small whine came from somewhere.
Bark. Bark. Bark.
It sounded as tired as my voice. I crept around and looked so that the small whines of Poongjak wouldn’t get buried in the sound of my footsteps. The sound was coming from the bottom of the mountain where the dry branches were piled up.
“Poongjak!”
When I called, Poongjak barked louder as he was answering my call. Even though his sound was heard, because of the branches, the appearance of the small dog was not visible at all. It was also work to pick through the branches with bare hands which were entangled like bushes.
I pulled the end of the pointed branch with my arms. A small puppy could not come out of the coop after going in recklessly. As the branches that were piled on him became less, the young dog whined as if he was urging.
“Wait. I’ll get you out in a minute. How did you get here?”
Poongjak climbed up on the pile of branches when he saw my face. He seemed to have been scared and seemed anxious that I couldn’t hug him properly. When I lifted him, Poongjak licked my face several times with his damp tongue to say thank you.
Jang Yoonsung, who did not notice that I had found Poongjak, was still snooping from place to place. I tried to shout, “I found Poongjak” but my throat only stung. In the end, I ran and showed Poongjak and Jang Yoonsung looked relieved.
“Where did you find him?”
“Under that pile of branches.”
After swallowing my saliva, I spoke in a small voice. Jang Yoonsung stared at my hand and bit his lips before saying briefly.
“It’s a relief.”
I thought I would hear him saying that it was because I left the door carelessly but Jang Yoonsung didn’t blame me. It didn’t mean that he was angry. Even after returning to the villa with Poongjak, Jang Yoonsung returned to his room. Even when the helper lady thanked me several times, I couldn’t take my eyes off the tightly closed door.
Although he maintained a cold attitude towards me, Jang Yoonsung came out to the table at every meal. I knew it wasn’t because of me but Chairman Jang, whose health was deteriorating and he was a precious person to him.
The helper seemed to pay more attention to the side dishes than usual perhaps because he owed me yesterday. But my throat stung so I just repeatedly sipped the warm soup. Whether it was because of the dry air or that I overworked my vocal cords the day before, it was hard to swallow when I woke up in the morning.
“Is Jiyoung sick? You don’t look very well.”
Chairman Jang asked anxiously. The other time I got sick because of the rain, Chairman Jang asked worriedly, afraid that I was sick because I coughed.
“No, I am not sick…”
It was only because I couldn’t sleep well that I looked unwell and there was nothing wrong with my throat except that it stung a little. Nevertheless, whenever I spoke, I could see how everyone turned their eyes to me.
“It’s just that my throat hurts a little.”
I swallowed a sip of water, which soaked my dry throat, and answered again.
“I’m really fine.”
My eyes appeared energetic and I shrugged my shoulders to prove that I was fine but the two weren’t convinced at all.
“Yoonsung, please make sure she has her medicines.”
It seemed that Chairman Jang’s heart to say so was half because of his worries and the other half with an intent to reconcile us. Jang Yoonsung chewed his food in his mouth without saying much. Chairman Jang put down his spoon and left early, saying he had no appetite. I had no choice but to eat slower than usual because it was difficult to swallow but Jang Yoonsung sat face to face and waited until I finished eating.
I wanted to tell him to go in if he was so worried about me. He didn’t seem to know how uncomfortable it was to be stared at without a word. When I finally finished eating, I stood from the table and padded towards my room but Jang Yoonsung approached me and grabbed my wrist tightly.
“What?”
When I looked up, Jang Yoonsung put the back of his hand against my cheek without any explanation. I thought he was going to check if I had a fever and that he couldn’t believe me when I said I was okay. The back of his hand against my cheeks slipped away but a palm came instead, touching my forehead. I gently shrugged off his hand.
“I’m really okay.”
He should either get angry or be nice to me. I didn’t do anything well but I was also full of complaints. I held up Poongjak, who barked around my feet.
“I’ll go up.”
When I thought about it, I should appear good in front of Jang Yoonsung. At least there was no need to stir him up even more. It might have been a meaningless reflection but I realized my situation and left. A persistent gaze followed my back as I climbed up the stairs.
Lying on the bed, I put Poongjak beside me. I realized how much time had passed when I felt how heavier Poongjak had become. It was true seeing how I grunted whenever I picked him up. I heard it was not even half of the size of an adult dog yet. It would be difficult to carry him and lay him on the bed if he grew even more.
“Can’t you stop growing? My house is very small.”
I wanted to take Poongjak if Jang Yoonsung allowed me to. I was confident that I could at least feed a dog if not a human.
The problem was that of Poongjak. My house was small and he would have less space to roam around in compared to the rooms in the villa. Would it be animal cruelty if I kept an adult dog in a small house? I seriously promised him that I could move into a bigger house if he could endure living in a smaller one for a few years but then I shrugged it off as useless worry and stroked the head of the dozing dog who used someone else’s stomach as a bed.
Before I knew it, I was worried about being kicked out again. If I was kicked out soon I most probably wouldn’t be able to take Poongjak with me.
What the hell happened in that hotel that night? Did I say something in my sleep? There was only one thing that could make Jang Yoonsung get angry at me like that and make him change his attitude like a switch.
Did I get caught being a man?
But it was strange to think so. If he was disappointed that I was a man, it would be natural for him to kick me right away. But why did he kiss me? Why was he worried about my fever?
The odds were slim and if he was okay with me being a man…
But it was weird. If it didn’t matter to him that I was a man, there was no need for him to be so cold-hearted. There were a lot of reactions that didn’t fit him if he noticed that I was a man. But if he didn’t, I couldn’t figure out why the hell he was doing what he was.
I was frustrated again and I couldn’t think straight. Stupid man. It was my first kiss. I rubbed my lips with the back of my hand.
Knock. Knock.
When my lips felt a bit bitter, someone tapped on the door.
“Yes?”
After answering, I thought, “Who is it?” I expected someone to come in but the person standing outside the door stood silent for a moment and finally spoke.
“I’ll leave it here, drink it before it gets cold.”
It was the voice of Jang Yoonsung. There was a sound of him walking away as if he had no intention of coming in. It seemed that he had brought something for me to drink.
I put Poongjak down on the floor and opened the door. Poongjak followed me with sleepy eyes and brushed his snout on the top of my foot.
“You hyung is really weird.”
In front of the door, there was warm tea and a bowl of dog treats, and some thick clothes. “Do you only have that kind of clothes?” seemed to mean that I had clothes that were on the lighter side. It was true that I had no clothes to wear for colder days because I was originally planning to stay only for the summer.
There was no one to thank so I returned to the room with the tray and clothes. Judging from the unpleasant smell, it seemed to be ginger tea.
But I took a sip of the tea anyway. It was full of ginger scent but sweet enough to drink. There was little tea left so I drank some of it.
The garden was warm in the afternoon. The air which cooled down did not heat up again but I still decided to wear the clothes given by Jang Yoonsung and went out with Poongjak. There was nothing more boring than staying cooped up in my room all day.
Thanks to the thick knitwear, it felt good that none of the chilly air touched my skin. While I was walking around the garden with Poongjak, a taxi came and stopped at the bottom of the hill.
I had never seen anyone visit by taxi there. I picked up Poongjak and watched the person get out of the taxi. The person who jumped out of the taxi, breaking all my expectations, was a girl in a school uniform.
Are you sure it is here? There was no one in the villa to meet a girl in a school uniform. I thought it might be a family member of the people who worked here so I stood there with the intent of guiding her in.
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