CH 1.2

Translator: humu

“I know that you can’t give me an answer right now. I know that you don’t know me very well either. It seems like I gave you a big surprise, but I want to take a chance.”

“Chance?”

The way she tilted her head in puzzlement was so fatally adorable. I felt impatient. If I didn’t persist here, someone else would soon come and take her away. 

“I want to see you again. Can I visit you next time?”

“I… You know that I’m discharged already.”

“I want to see you even when you’re fine!”

She laughed out loud when I said it with such gusto. Then, she gave me her address, looking a little embarrassed.

“Because I really like you.”

When I told her again, she turned her head to the other side. Her long hair softly grazed her cheek, which was also adorable. I didn’t care about being seen and judged by others anymore.

“Yeah, yeah, all right, I know!”

“You know what? If I went out with you, I’d tell you that I love you every day.”

“That’s weighty.”

“It’s the truth.”

I walked her to the nurse’s office and went back to class with some regrets.

She was taken to the hospital by her family and after another round of tests, she was admitted to the hospital. From the next day onwards, I visited her several times a week.

On the day of her discharge, at the end of March, was when I received a reply to my confession.

***

Once she was admitted to the hospital, her stay could be as short as a week, but it usually lasted up to a month.

They said that even if you looked healthy, once you fall sick, it would last a long time and recovery wouldn’t be smooth. The reason for her hospitalisation was basically a respiratory disease, yet they couldn’t give a specific name for it because the symptoms varied widely.

I didn’t know this, but apparently it was not unusual to have a disease that couldn’t be identified. The rule of thumb was, “It’s alright as long as you don’t catch a cold.” As for me, I was working hard to prevent myself from catching one.

She was able to attend school depending on her physical condition. She went to a correspondence high school1. Since she started schooling, her future seemed to be going well as she had more energy than when in junior high school.

It didn’t work out so well though. She ended up back in the hospital in early summer.

After Golden Week, it was the middle of May, which meant the time for midterm examinations.

When I sent her a message saying that I was going to visit her, she replied, “Tasuku-kun should concentrate on your exams”. With this, I had no choice but to obey.

Instead, I called her in the evening, promising to keep it short.

I went out to the balcony and talked to her in a whisper. I looked up at the sky in the same direction of her hospital ward.

“Do you know of the Summer Triangle2?”

Apparently, she wanted to know which Cygnus constellation appeared in her favourite work. I’m certain she’s boo-ing and squinting at me over the phone.

“I see a lot of stars but…… I can’t tell which is which.”

“If only I’m next to you, I can teach you.”

It was hard to narrow down which ones she had in view just by a verbal conversation.

“You know, I looked for it yesterday. I couldn’t figure it out so I thought that it would be easier for you to tell me if I took a picture…….”

“Yeah.”

“Nothing can be seen at all!!”

“I figured…. My phone can’t do it either. I can’t take pictures of it.”

“Hehe”, a light laugh tickled my ears. The sweet and sour sensation made me laugh along with her.

Even though I couldn’t see her in person, just being able to spend time with her like this made me incomparably peaceful.  I really wanted to hug her, but even if I’m unable to, happiness had already filled me to the brim. I love her more than before, more than yesterday.

However, just as I was about to turn the feelings that filled my chest into a voice that said, “I love you”, a cough came from the other end of the phone.

“Are you okay? Don’t fall sick. Close the windows and don’t wear too many layers of clothes.”

“Geez, you’re such a worry-wart.”

“I’m worried about you. I’m your boyfriend after all.”

I might tell my classmates that I have a girlfriend, but I rarely dare to say it to myself. It was a little different than saying ‘I like you’……. It was a little embarrassing.

My voice was unknowingly strained. She, too, let out a voice that could neither be described as embarrassed or bashful.

“…… Yeah.”

Over the phone I thought I could see her nodding.

“When you’re out of the hospital, let’s go to the planetarium together. I’ll teach you more about it.”

“Okay. I’m looking forward to it. Good luck for your exams.”

Two nights like this passed.

She gave me encouragement every time we shared our limited time together. I concentrated hard on studying for the exam so that I would not bring shame to her. I reduced the frequency of my messages and showed her my full focus on the exam. The day I could meet her became my motivation.

And yet……

In the afternoon of the final day of exams, I visited her after a long time. Her hair had become surprisingly short.

Her hair, which was long and beautiful, was now short enough to show her ears.

“Eh……”

As soon as I opened the sliding door, I froze.

I’ve seen it on the news; cases of hair loss due to illness or cutting of hair so as to not interfere with surgery. Hers was an unspecified illness. What if it had been diagnosed during the time we were unable to meet?

My heart was pulsing erratically and I could feel the unpleasant perspiration running down my back.

I closed the door softly and opened my mouth fearfully, consumed by the anxiety that seemed to drain the energy from the top of my head.

“Hey…… can I ask you something?”

“Yeah? Ye~ah? Why don’t you take a seat? Put your bag down. It’s heavy.”

“What happened to your hair?”

“I got a haircut. There’s a hair salon on the first floor.”

I was almost carried away by her lighthearted tone. But I was still tense.

“…… You just cut your hair? Is there any reason for it?”

“A makeover. Are you surprised?”

There seemed to be no hidden motives in her words or expression. Nearly sighing out in relief, I looked out the opened window. As I pretended to glance around, I patiently endured the inner turmoil that would not subside.

“Don’t do such things suddenly.”

“You don’t like girls with short hair?”

It was unusual for her to speak like this.

She must be very concerned that my reaction was not good enough. At any rate, I kept repeating over and over that she looked cute just by applying coloured lipstick. She laughed at me saying, “That’s too much!”. I didn’t say it enough though.

“If it’s a living thing, you can even be a cute little blob.“

I should have opened my mouth and assured her that she looked good. I’m not sure how to save this situation, but I’m certain that I’d be able to do it.

“Heh…. Hehehehehe.”

“What is with that laugh……”

She gave me a decent and embarrassed response. I got too caught up in it. It was too adorable to even make eye contact with. ――Ahh… I’m not sure what to say. I really have nothing to say.

As I said out the words stuck in my chest, relief finally became a reality.

I finally sat down on the visitor’s chair while distracted.

“Actually, I’m thinking of taking the Hoshiken test in August.”

“Hoshiken3?”

Hoshiken test was a private certification examination. This certification examination was held twice a year, once in March, another in August.

The content covered all aspects of astronomy and space.

I had to forgo the March examinations because of my school examination schedule, but I wanted to take the next one since it happened to fall in the summer vacation period.

I had a deep interest in the stars and space. For high school, I chose a school that had an astronomy club, based on my future plans for college.

The reason for my interest dated back when I was very young4.

During a trip to Iwate with my parents, I stopped by the Kenji Miyazawa Fairy Tale Village. This facility, which was divided into zones based on the motifs of Kenji’s fairy tales, was an extremely attractive place for a young child.

One of the things that fascinated me the most was the zone on the theme of stars. At the time, I was too young to go out at night, so this was the first time I saw a world that could be called ‘mysterious’.

Perhaps it was a strange space that could not be fully appreciated by those who were old enough to walk outside after the sky turned dark.

I knew about the moon and the stars from picture books, but the pictures of them were different from the ones shining in the night sky.

That was when I became interested in the stars and my enthusiasm grew even more when I saw the film “Night on the Galactic Railroad.” It was natural for me to think that I would like to work with stars in the future.

Hoshiken itself was a hobby, not a qualification, so it wouldn’t be very practical. But it was better to have as many opportunities as possible to learn before entering college. There was also the aspect of testing one’s skills.

That’s why I wanted to concentrate on my studies as much as possible in June and July, in order to prepare for the Hoshiken in August.

Of course, I also had to study for the final exam. Even though the commitment for the astronomy club itself was only one day per week, there was still a lot to do.

As a result, I was worried that I would not be able to visit her as often as I would like, so I asked her about it. But she simply nodded and said, “Well, Tasuku-kun, don’t come here so often and instead go study.”

***

Even though the frequency of my visits was decreasing, until the middle of June, I still had enough time to visit her once or twice a week. However, as the end of the month approached, the final examinations were approaching, but I couldn’t stop.

At the same time, there were many days when she refused to see me, saying things like “I have relatives coming over today” or “I can’t because I have a lot of school work to do.”

A hospital ward was also a living space for hospitalized patients, so if a visitor barged in on you, you had no choice but to deal with that person.

I suppressed my desire to see her and sent her a message. Then I went back to studying for my exams, thinking that it would be wrong to annoy her by visiting her when she had already given me a reason not to. After that, she replied later than usual, so she must have been very busy.

Today, on the last day of finals, I ran into her mother in the corridor of the inpatient ward which I hadn’t visited in almost two weeks.

“……Hello.”

It was Fujimi-san. I called out, bowing my head slightly.

I had seen her many times during my visits to the hospital, but it was all in front of her. When we met in the hallway, I couldn’t help but feel nervous. After all, she was the parent of my girlfriend.

A woman with a face similar to hers, but not as alarmingly thin. Mirroring this person, I’d sometimes see a kind of illusion of her in remission.

“Kuresawa-kun, you’re here.”

“Yes. I haven’t been able to come recently, so it’s been a while. I’m sorry.”

I was led down a corridor and into a lounge space at the end of the floor. The carpeted space was dotted with sofas and lined with vending machines and small bookshelves.

There was a small green space outside the window with a nice view, and a cute playground corner, probably for the pediatric patients.

“It’s okay. You’re busy, aren’t you?”

“Not at all. Yumi-san had a tough time too. I heard that she’s busy with assignments, is it going well?”

“Yes…. Maybe. I’m sorry, I don’t know much.”

The way she said it made me feel uncomfortable. What was it?

I heard that her parents came to visit her at least once every two days to collect her laundry. She was a student at a correspondence high school, so naturally, her parents were involved when it came to submitting assignments. It’s so unusual.

“What do you mean you don’t know? By the way, last week Yumi-san informed me that her relatives were coming to visit. But from what I recall, they live far away. Did you mean to extend her stay for this reason?”

My tone naturally became stronger. Maybe I had just overheard something I shouldn’t have.

I’m aware that this was not the way to address an elder, but my heart was churning with emotions that were far from calm.

“I’m sorry, but I’m the one who sent the message last week, not my daughter.”

I was at a loss for words when she awkwardly told me.

“……. I see.”

I couldn’t say anything.

“Yumi caught a cold. It’s nothing serious but the fever didn’t go away. You’re studying to make your dreams come true, aren’t you? I was talking to her, saying that I didn’t want to disturb you by worrying about her.”

These caring words stabbed me sharply in the back.

T/N: see yall at c1.3 (end)!