CH 74
T/N: Thank you Lan & Rii for sponsoring an extra release this week!
-komorebi
Outside the window, wind howled, and thunder and lightning rained down.
The rain grew heavier and heavier, and the sky in the distance turned an inky blue that was infinitely close to black.
Raindrops pelted against the glass window, echoing in Xu Xinghe’s ears, and covering up the beeping sounds of hospital equipment.
There was only a small light on in the ward. Against the backdrop of the dim white light and the dim sky outside, the originally snow-white walls, roof, and bed sheets all seemed a lifeless gray.
A quiet and depressing atmosphere.
The woman on the hospital bed was as pale as humanly possible, laying there motionless, as if she had fallen asleep.
Xu Xinghe stood at the door for a while, then finally gathered up his courage and walked towards the hospital bed.
His feet were as light as a cat.
The woman on the hospital bed had her eyes closed and her brows slightly wrinkled. She lay on the bed motionless. Only the slight heaving of her chest revealed that she was still alive.
Licking his dry lips nervously, Xu Xinghe did not wake her up, but just stood in front of the bed and quietly observed the patient on the bed.
Her body was attached to various instruments and tubes. Although the woman’s face was haggard and her facial features were almost sunken, her bones were still beautiful and her charm is still there. It can be vaguely seen that she was a beauty when she was young.
Xu Xinghe silently stared at the pale and haggard face with a heart full of mixed emotions.
At this moment, the woman suddenly opened her eyes.
Her eyes were unfocused at first, staring blankly at the ceiling, as she called out in a hoarse voice, “Lily?”
Xu Xinghe didn’t answer.
The woman slowly turned her head, and her pupils gradually regained their focus.
When those beautiful black eyes looked at Xu Xinghe, both of them were shocked.
Xu Xinghe still hadn’t figured out how to face his biological mother yet.
They have been separated for so long that they are basically strangers to each other.
But he thought that even if they had no real relationship, his sympathy and compassion for a terminally ill patient made him want to try to give her some comfort in the last days.
However, when he tried to speak, he was caught off guard by those eyes that were seven or eight points similar to himself.
His brain suddenly went blank.
Something exploded silently in his heart, causing him to instantly lose the ability to speak.
The woman on the hospital bed trembled slightly, and her lips shook.
Her originally withered eyes were instantly covered with a layer of water, staring up at Xu Xinghe without blinking.
Xu Xinghe suspected that she recognized him, just as he could recognize her at a glance.
They are very similar, especially the eyes.
The woman tremblingly stretched out a hand with an infusion tube inserted, trying to touch the big boy in front of the hospital bed.
Xu Xinghe subconsciously avoided it.
Immediately he froze in place.
He didn’t even know why he dodged.
He remembered that when he was a volunteer nurse at a community center in college, and had held many patient hands many times.
But at this moment, his mood was completely different.
Perhaps the irreparable 20-odd year gulf between the two of them formed a wide chasm that could not be seen clearly and could not be crossed.
So much so that he couldn’t even treat her like an ordinary patient.
Lightning pierced through the sky outside the window, illuminating the faces of the two people in the dimly lit room.
The woman on the hospital bed suddenly smiled bleakly. “Am I dreaming?”
She isn’t stupid. Ever since she was suddenly transferred to the VIP ward of a large hospital, she vaguely guessed something.
Xu Xinghe still did not speak.
He also felt like he was immersed in a dream.
This was obviously the reunion he had looked forward to countless times when he was a child. However, as time passes, people’s moods also change.
At this moment, the two of them looked at each other, and the words that were hidden in their hearts when they were young could not be said.
Xu Xinghe lowered his eyes slightly, and after a while, he said, “It’s not a dream.”
After that, he sat down on the small bench by the bed, and repeated: “It’s not a dream, I came to see you.”
In a trance, he seemed to hear the woman’s subtle sobbing, but it seemed like it was eons away.
He lowered his head and fiddled with his fingers, not daring to look up for fear of meeting a pair of tearful eyes.
After an unknown time, the woman spoke again, her voice infinitely soft: “How have you been all these years?”
Xu Xinghe was silent for a moment, then nodded, “It’s okay.”
“That’s okay…” After the woman finished speaking, suddenly she coughed violently, so much that Xu Xinghe was worried that she would be out of breath.
After coughing for a while, the woman stopped and gasped: “It’s good… that I can see you again at the end… You are a good boy and deserve a better life… Don’t stay here any longer, go back to the capital. That you came to see me, I’m already very happy…”
Dazed, Xu Xinghe’s eyes flashed with surprise. He didn’t understand how she could drive him away without saying anything.
Does she plan to run out of fuel like this, and then leave her two children to survive in this miserable place for the rest of their lives?
Xu Xinghe licked his dry lips and asked knowingly, “Why didn’t you start treatment earlier? You obviously still have some money saved. If you started treatment earlier, it probably wouldn’t have dragged on to where you are today.”
She smiled miserably. “Treatment is a bottomless pit. I always have to keep some money to let… let them live on.”
Xu Xinghe turned to look at her, trying to resist and hold back, but the dam to his emotions burst out at that moment. “Do you only have those two children?”
His nose soured the moment he asked the question, and he simply turned his head to stop looking at her.
The woman’s face suddenly turned pale.
She fell silent for a moment. When she finally spoke, her words were sluggish, and her voice trembled a little. “I, I have three children…”
“Then—” Xu Xinghe lowered his head, staring blankly at the lines on his palm, and asked, “Your first child, why didn’t you want him anymore?”
When the woman heard the words, her body suddenly trembled violently.
Xu Xinghe turned his head, and saw big tears rolling down the woman’s eyes.
He trembled, as if scalded by those tears.
“I didn’t want you…” The woman asked with wide eyes, “Did your father tell you that?”
Xu Xinghe’s heart suddenly trembled, staring at the woman on the hospital bed and asked, “What do you mean?”
The woman took a deep breath and seemed to want to say something, but in the end, she was discouraged just before she spoke. Her spirit, which was briefly ignited out of unwillingness and resentment, slumped again, and in the end she just smiled miserably. “You grew up with your father, and your relationship should be very good, right? That being the case, that’s fine…”
She was already dying, but that man will probably stay with him for a long time. If that’s the case, since the truth that will make the living people more troublesome, does it even matter? Why does she have to cause a conflict between father and son at the last moment?
Xu Xinghe looked at her and didn’t know what to say for a while. Did she actually think that he was living with his father all these years?
Xu Xinghe bit his inner lips, and softly said: “I have never met my father. I grew up in a welfare home on Capital Star.”
The woman turned suddenly, as if she didn’t hear what he said, and her voice trembled as she asked: “An orphanage?”
Xu Xinghe lowered her eyes and nodded.
The woman suddenly grabbed the hospital gown on her chest and gasped violently. She started coughing and even retching. Her whole body seemed to be in great pain, as if she could hardly breathe.
Xu Xinghe suddenly panicked. He wanted to ring the bell to call the nurse, but when he got up to move, he heard her cry.
The sound was suppressed at first, but suddenly broke out after a long period of suppression. In the end, she couldn’t hold back and burst into tears. “How could this be… He clearly said that he would treat you well… He promised me to treat you well…”
*Note on chapter title: This chapter was originally titled “Susceptibility Period 1” but I reworked it since it was focused more on XXH’s mom/past.
Want faster releases for SMM? Get faster updates by buying a ko-fi~ Progress towards add’l releases, and to see other ongoing projects, are tracked on my ko-fi page.
-komorebi
Outside the window, wind howled, and thunder and lightning rained down.
The rain grew heavier and heavier, and the sky in the distance turned an inky blue that was infinitely close to black.
Raindrops pelted against the glass window, echoing in Xu Xinghe’s ears, and covering up the beeping sounds of hospital equipment.
There was only a small light on in the ward. Against the backdrop of the dim white light and the dim sky outside, the originally snow-white walls, roof, and bed sheets all seemed a lifeless gray.
A quiet and depressing atmosphere.
The woman on the hospital bed was as pale as humanly possible, laying there motionless, as if she had fallen asleep.
Xu Xinghe stood at the door for a while, then finally gathered up his courage and walked towards the hospital bed.
His feet were as light as a cat.
The woman on the hospital bed had her eyes closed and her brows slightly wrinkled. She lay on the bed motionless. Only the slight heaving of her chest revealed that she was still alive.
Licking his dry lips nervously, Xu Xinghe did not wake her up, but just stood in front of the bed and quietly observed the patient on the bed.
Her body was attached to various instruments and tubes. Although the woman’s face was haggard and her facial features were almost sunken, her bones were still beautiful and her charm is still there. It can be vaguely seen that she was a beauty when she was young.
Xu Xinghe silently stared at the pale and haggard face with a heart full of mixed emotions.
At this moment, the woman suddenly opened her eyes.
Her eyes were unfocused at first, staring blankly at the ceiling, as she called out in a hoarse voice, “Lily?”
Xu Xinghe didn’t answer.
The woman slowly turned her head, and her pupils gradually regained their focus.
When those beautiful black eyes looked at Xu Xinghe, both of them were shocked.
Xu Xinghe still hadn’t figured out how to face his biological mother yet.
They have been separated for so long that they are basically strangers to each other.
But he thought that even if they had no real relationship, his sympathy and compassion for a terminally ill patient made him want to try to give her some comfort in the last days.
However, when he tried to speak, he was caught off guard by those eyes that were seven or eight points similar to himself.
His brain suddenly went blank.
Something exploded silently in his heart, causing him to instantly lose the ability to speak.
The woman on the hospital bed trembled slightly, and her lips shook.
Her originally withered eyes were instantly covered with a layer of water, staring up at Xu Xinghe without blinking.
Xu Xinghe suspected that she recognized him, just as he could recognize her at a glance.
They are very similar, especially the eyes.
The woman tremblingly stretched out a hand with an infusion tube inserted, trying to touch the big boy in front of the hospital bed.
Xu Xinghe subconsciously avoided it.
Immediately he froze in place.
He didn’t even know why he dodged.
He remembered that when he was a volunteer nurse at a community center in college, and had held many patient hands many times.
But at this moment, his mood was completely different.
Perhaps the irreparable 20-odd year gulf between the two of them formed a wide chasm that could not be seen clearly and could not be crossed.
So much so that he couldn’t even treat her like an ordinary patient.
Lightning pierced through the sky outside the window, illuminating the faces of the two people in the dimly lit room.
The woman on the hospital bed suddenly smiled bleakly. “Am I dreaming?”
She isn’t stupid. Ever since she was suddenly transferred to the VIP ward of a large hospital, she vaguely guessed something.
Xu Xinghe still did not speak.
He also felt like he was immersed in a dream.
This was obviously the reunion he had looked forward to countless times when he was a child. However, as time passes, people’s moods also change.
At this moment, the two of them looked at each other, and the words that were hidden in their hearts when they were young could not be said.
Xu Xinghe lowered his eyes slightly, and after a while, he said, “It’s not a dream.”
After that, he sat down on the small bench by the bed, and repeated: “It’s not a dream, I came to see you.”
In a trance, he seemed to hear the woman’s subtle sobbing, but it seemed like it was eons away.
He lowered his head and fiddled with his fingers, not daring to look up for fear of meeting a pair of tearful eyes.
After an unknown time, the woman spoke again, her voice infinitely soft: “How have you been all these years?”
Xu Xinghe was silent for a moment, then nodded, “It’s okay.”
“That’s okay…” After the woman finished speaking, suddenly she coughed violently, so much that Xu Xinghe was worried that she would be out of breath.
After coughing for a while, the woman stopped and gasped: “It’s good… that I can see you again at the end… You are a good boy and deserve a better life… Don’t stay here any longer, go back to the capital. That you came to see me, I’m already very happy…”
Dazed, Xu Xinghe’s eyes flashed with surprise. He didn’t understand how she could drive him away without saying anything.
Does she plan to run out of fuel like this, and then leave her two children to survive in this miserable place for the rest of their lives?
Xu Xinghe licked his dry lips and asked knowingly, “Why didn’t you start treatment earlier? You obviously still have some money saved. If you started treatment earlier, it probably wouldn’t have dragged on to where you are today.”
She smiled miserably. “Treatment is a bottomless pit. I always have to keep some money to let… let them live on.”
Xu Xinghe turned to look at her, trying to resist and hold back, but the dam to his emotions burst out at that moment. “Do you only have those two children?”
His nose soured the moment he asked the question, and he simply turned his head to stop looking at her.
The woman’s face suddenly turned pale.
She fell silent for a moment. When she finally spoke, her words were sluggish, and her voice trembled a little. “I, I have three children…”
“Then—” Xu Xinghe lowered his head, staring blankly at the lines on his palm, and asked, “Your first child, why didn’t you want him anymore?”
When the woman heard the words, her body suddenly trembled violently.
Xu Xinghe turned his head, and saw big tears rolling down the woman’s eyes.
He trembled, as if scalded by those tears.
“I didn’t want you…” The woman asked with wide eyes, “Did your father tell you that?”
Xu Xinghe’s heart suddenly trembled, staring at the woman on the hospital bed and asked, “What do you mean?”
The woman took a deep breath and seemed to want to say something, but in the end, she was discouraged just before she spoke. Her spirit, which was briefly ignited out of unwillingness and resentment, slumped again, and in the end she just smiled miserably. “You grew up with your father, and your relationship should be very good, right? That being the case, that’s fine…”
She was already dying, but that man will probably stay with him for a long time. If that’s the case, since the truth that will make the living people more troublesome, does it even matter? Why does she have to cause a conflict between father and son at the last moment?
Xu Xinghe looked at her and didn’t know what to say for a while. Did she actually think that he was living with his father all these years?
Xu Xinghe bit his inner lips, and softly said: “I have never met my father. I grew up in a welfare home on Capital Star.”
The woman turned suddenly, as if she didn’t hear what he said, and her voice trembled as she asked: “An orphanage?”
Xu Xinghe lowered her eyes and nodded.
The woman suddenly grabbed the hospital gown on her chest and gasped violently. She started coughing and even retching. Her whole body seemed to be in great pain, as if she could hardly breathe.
Xu Xinghe suddenly panicked. He wanted to ring the bell to call the nurse, but when he got up to move, he heard her cry.
The sound was suppressed at first, but suddenly broke out after a long period of suppression. In the end, she couldn’t hold back and burst into tears. “How could this be… He clearly said that he would treat you well… He promised me to treat you well…”
*Note on chapter title: This chapter was originally titled “Susceptibility Period 1” but I reworked it since it was focused more on XXH’s mom/past.
Want faster releases for SMM? Get faster updates by buying a ko-fi~ Progress towards add’l releases, and to see other ongoing projects, are tracked on my ko-fi page.
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