CH 169
I want to touch Sendai-san more — 169
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I’m not going to make her say she doesn’t want to.
And maybe Sendai-san won’t say no. Still, I can’t help but think about what would happen if she said she didn’t want to. I wish she would say something sooner, but she doesn’t open her mouth very often, which makes me anxious.
「Sendai-san, what’s your answer?」
When I tell her to hurry up, which she does without saying a word, she calls me「Miyagi.」
「The way you put it earlier, if I don’t say no, Miyagi can do it to me again, do you understand?」
「…I understand that.」
I at least understand what I said.
I am not going to pretend that I didn’t say what I said.
If I can get Sendai-san today, I would be willing to use myself in the future as a bargaining chip.
「If you understand it, then it’s fine.」
Sendai-san says in a soft but firm voice.
She stares at me without blinking, and I want to look away. But I can’t close my eyes or look away because I feel that if I run away from Sendai’s gaze-san, what I am about to do will be terribly wrong.
「Does that mean it’s okay to do it?」
When I confirm this, she responds,「That’s the way it’s supposed to be.」
It would’ve been natural for Sendai-san to smile at me, but she didn’t smile at me today. She kept a serious face. I hope I was doing what I always do, because what I was about to do will have an air of great significance, as if it were a very big deal. It’s not fair to look sincere at a time like now.
「Then, a condition of exchange. Bring me two towels.」
I tell Sendai-san, who thinks the kiss I just gave her is an exchange, in a voice that is neither loud nor quiet.
「Eh, wait a second. I asked you if the exchange of kisses meant you had to let go of my hand, and you said no, right? So I thought that’s what you’re about to do, is that it?」
「What I’m about to do is in exchange for me listening to what Sendai-san said the other day, so it’s not an exchange.」
「…I see. So, what are towels used for?」
「Just bring it to me, please.」
「Pervert Miyagi.」
It was the usual voice and tone of voice, but only Sendai-san’s expression was different from usual. She stared straight into my eyes, but I can’t read what she is thinking.
「I haven’t said or done anything yet.」
We are just having an exchange that we have had in the past, but my voice becomes hard.
「You’ve only ever used towels for binding wrists or blindfolds on me.」
「If you know the answer, don’t bother asking.」
If Sendai-san looks different from usual, just cover her face. If I can’t see it, I won’t mind it. If I also bind her behavior, it will be more heartbreaking, but she will be what I want.
「Well, I’ll bring it to you.」
Sendai-san said in a voice that sounded like she had no choice and stood up. Then she went to the front of the chest and came back with a white towel in her hand.
「Okay, here you go.」
Placing a towel on my head, Sendai-san sits on the bed. My eyes naturally follow her and my body moves. A towel fell from over my head and when I caught it before it hit the floor there was only one white piece.
「Where’s the other one?」
「There was one kiss, so one piece. Feel free to use it for whatever you want.」
「Sneaky.」
「Miyagi is more sneaky than me.」
Sendai-san’s foot poked my side.
I think it’s the opposite of usual.
When I let her lick my feet, I would sit on the bed and Sendai-san would sit on the floor, but today, Sendai-san is sitting on the bed and I am sitting on the floor.
I grab Sendai-san’s ankle.
Her legs are covered by denim and there is very little visible. I look up and see an arm stretched out from a short-sleeved T-shirt.
It is not a uniform, nor is it a skirt, but I’m now seeing something close to the view she always had. I don’t mean to lick her feet, but it does make me feel a little strange.
「Miyagi, have you decided what you’re going to do? If you can’t decide, what about the option of not doing it?」
Sendai-san’s voice came down from above my head, and I answered without hesitation.
「Your eyes, close it. I’m gonna tie you up.」
「What were you thinking of tying up my wrists for?」
Sendai-san asks without closing her eyes.
「I don’t want Sendai-san to do anything weird while I’m doing it.」
「Don’t worry, I won’t do anything. So, what about the blindfold?」
「I just don’t like being watched.」
It isn’t because Sendai-san looks different from usual.
So I’ll answer another reason.
「That’s usually my line. I think it’s something that the person who’s having it done to them doesn’t want to be seen.」
「Shut up, Sendai-san.」
Sendai-san has always been a talker, but today she was very involved. I stand up and cover her eyes with a towel because I feel that if we chatted any longer, we would end up doing nothing. But before the towel touched Sendai-san she grabbed my wrist.
「You can blindfold me if you want, but smile before you do.」
Sendai-san said in a soft voice and smiled at me, as if to tell me to do the same.
「I don’t want to.」
「Then, kiss me.」
She didn’t expect me to smile, and soon the next words were thrown at me.
No reason to refuse.
I slowly bring my face close to Sendai-san’s and her eyes close. I stare at her well-formed face and then touch her lips, which are softer than the towel I’m holding. But before I can feel their smoothness and warmth, I release my lips and cover my eyes.
「I can’t see anything.」
「I wouldn’t want you to see it.」
Gently touching her shoulder, Sendai-san lay down on the bed. I sat down next to her, turned off the light and put the remote control on the bed.
「Sendai-san, turn that way.」
「Turn what way?」
「Facing the wall.」
I covered her eyes and turned off the lights, so no matter where she turned, she couldn’t see her face from me, nor could she see mine. I know, but when I see Sendai-san’s face looking at me, it makes my heart flutter.
「Aren’t you too careful for this?」
「Just turn around and face away from me.」
I push her unmoving shoulders against the wall with a jerk.
「——I can’t kiss you, is that okay?」
「It’s okay.」
When I answered shortly, Sendai-san turned her body toward the wall as if she had given up. I feel guilty as she easily accepts my words.
I think touching Sendai-san to erase my anxiety is too much disregard for her feelings. I always let only my feelings precede me. Sendai-san often cares for me, but I can’t even care for her half as much as she cares for me.
I am not always right.
I’ve never had the right relationship with Sendai-san, and I’m still trying to touch her for reasons that aren’t right.
But I don’t think I’m wrong.
I could only relate to Sendai-san in that way, and there is no mistaking my desire to touch her. It’s not right for us to be roommates, but it’s not wrong for us to be roommates even if we do things that aren’t right. Sendai-san also said it was fine if her roommate did it.
So it’s okay to touch Sendai-san.
After I convinced myself, I lay down on the bed and hugged Sendai-san’s body from the back. Through the T-shirt, our bodies are snuggled together. It was as if I was hugging Sendai-san for the first time.
「Miyagi, I’m in close contact with you.」
「If so, what is it?」
「No, nothing really, I hope Miyagi is okay with this.」
She says it with difficulty, and Sendai-san goes silent.
I think I was indeed too attached to her. Even through the cloth, I can clearly feel Sendai-san’s body temperature and smell the shampoo in her hair, and my heart is beating so loud and fast that I worry she can hear my heartbeat. But when I am attached to Sendai-san, my anxiety disappears in proportion to the amount of areas we are in contact with.
I slip my hand around my front and slides it inside through the hem of her T-shirt. When I pressed my palm against her stomach to better feel her body heat, Sendai-san’s body shivered.
I put my forehead on her back, just below her neck.
I slide my hand over her navel to her side and call「Sendai-san.」A small 「What?」Has made my heart skipped a beat while hearing her voice. I let go of her forehead because I was afraid that Sendai-san would hear the sound.
I took a small breath in and out, then slowly moved my hands, which were at her sides, to place them on her back. I trace her spine from the bottom of her neck. I press my hand against the area behind her heart, but I don’t feel the sound of her heartbeat. But I could tell that her body was hot. When I put my lips on her shoulder through the cloth, Sendai-san moved jerkily.
I crawl my hand a little above her waist and claw it.
I hear the sound of Sendai-san exhaling a small breath.
I slide my hand down her chest and gently touch her breasts over her underwear, and feel only the texture of the fabric. She doesn’t say anything, so I crawl my hand up to check the shape. My fingertips, which crawl loosely and without effort, can only feel the unevenness and stitching of the lace. I want to feel the warmth and softness of her body directly, like when I touch her belly.
It’s not her body covering that I want to touch.
It’s Sendai-san herself.
I stroke the collarbone, then crawl my fingertips up and place my hand on the back. Stroke her shoulder blades and touch the bra hooks.
「Can I take it off?」
「I hope Miyagi don’t mind if I do the same thing to you.」
Sendai-san answers quietly.
「I won’t let you, but I want to take it off.」
I duck my fingertips under the hooks and stroke the spine. Sendai-san doesn’t say yes, but she doesn’t say no either. I bit her shoulder through her T-shirt as if urging her to reply.
Sendai-san’s back is straining.
But she still doesn’t say anything, so I unhook her.
「Miyagi is lewd.」
Sendai-san says in a whisper.
I pretend not to hear her and slide my hand down her back to her chest. I place my hand under her underwear, directly over her breasts. Gently move my hand to encircle the bulge, which is bigger than mine, but not too big. Unlike her underwear, body heat is transmitted through the smooth skin. And at the same time, something hard hits my palm.
The center of softness.
It stimulates a point on the palm of my hand, which tells me of Sendai-san’s reaction to me, and I hold my breath for a moment.
Play
Unmute
「Sendai-san.」
I call her out softly and press my hand hard against it, but she doesn’t respond. I can strongly feel the hardened thing in the palm of my hand. When I stroked there with my fingertips, her body moved a lot. It was what I could only assume was Sendai-san’s reaction to what I had done, and she couldn’t breathe. It becomes painful, and she breathe in and out. My heart is beating so loudly I want to cover my ears, but I would rather touch her more than do that.
「Sendai-san.」
「Nh—n.」
I hear a reply that is not much different than usual, but with a hint of exhalation.
The voice makes my heart beat harder.
It makes me want to change more of the voice that caresses my eardrums.
I slowly check the feel of it in the center with my fingertips and then cover it with the palm of my hand. The softness of her breasts remains the same, but only the center seems to have gained hardness. As I gently and gently move my fingers and hands to continue to feel her softness and the sensation of her center, Sendai-san’s back rounds in tandem.
I think she’s cute like that and would love to take off her clothes and see her body like this.
I want to turn on the lights, brighten it up, look at her body, and make my mark on her chest, on her collarbone. I want to bite her hard and touch those marks until I feel better.
When I try to roll up the hem of her T-shirt, she grips my hand tightly.
It is a sign of unwillingness, and the strength of the force shows that it’s not the same as when I unhooked it. I had no choice either, because I told her not to take off her clothes at that time. If I forced her to take off her clothes, she would tell me that she would not let me do it any more.
「I won’t undress you, let me go.」
I say quietly, and my hand is released.
I don’t want to lose touch with her now.
I have yet to get to know all of her.
I snuggle my body against Sendai-san’s rounded back. I crawl my fingertips to the center of her breasts and put my lips on her shoulders over her clothes. I stroke the surface of her skin and continue to slowly touch her soft breasts.
「How long… are you going… to keep touching it…?」
Sendai-san’s voice is heard interrupted in an unnatural place. Her voice was distinctly different from the voice I had just heard, and had a pale color to it. I cover her chest with my palm, wanting to hear more of her voice. I don’t want to let go of her hand because it feels so good just to touch her, even though it’s on my own body.
「Miya…gi.」
In a strong voice, Sendai-san calls me and grabs my wrist.
Her back moves and I hear the sound of breathing in and out.
「That’s enough of that.」
With a small voice, Sendai-san moves my hand to the area below her ribs.
A soft place with no bone.
Instead of my chest, I crawl my hand and pinch her side.
「Ouch.」
Sendai-san says accusingly.
I sets my teeth on her shoulder and pressed my hand hard against her side, my hand sucking on her sweaty body. I realize now that my own body is ridiculously hot from the body heat coming from my hands, which are so close together that there is no space left between them.
I move my body away from her back a little.
I reach my hand below her navel and slide it further down to touch the button on her denim.
Once this is undone, I can get to know Sendai-san better.
That makes me a little nervous, and the thought of what happened when she did it to me comes to mind, and Sendai-san overlaps with me at that time.
On this bed, I am——
I vividly remember what happened to me, and my consciousness gathers around the center of my stomach. As my body almost reacts, I am clearly aware of what I am about to do to Sendai-san.
A part I have not yet touched.
A place unknown to Sendai-san.
Touch her there.
The me in my memory and Sendai-san are mingled together. My body is dragged by the memory, and I can’t unbutton the button properly.
「…Sendai-san, take this off.」
「Just take it off yourself.」
「I can’t do it right. Do it.」
I place the palms of my hands on her stomach.
I squeezed, but Sendai-san didn’t move. I stick my forehead to her shoulder and ask her to「do it」again, and she unbuttons it.
「Is this okay?」
At the sound of Sendai-san’s voice, I pull down my zipper.
I crawled my hand inside the denim and touches her underwear.
It’s not like I don’t know what to do next.
But I’m worried.
Her body is responding to my hands, and I can predict what might be going on in her underwear, but not necessarily what I expect.
「Miyagi?」
I hear Sendai-san’s little voice and I inhale and exhale slowly before inserting my hand into her underwear.
The stiff denim material pushes my fingers onward.
I reach a part of her body I’ve never touched before and my fingertips are covered with something slimy.
Something sticky and different from sweat.
It clings to my fingertips more than I can imagine.
It both relieves and upsets me.
I never thought Sendai-san could be like this.
Even though I don’t think I did it well, I am so amazed that Sendai-san has become, by my hands, what I have become in the past, that all my blood is about to evaporate.
I move my fingertips.
Sendai-san’s back moves so that you can tell she took a deep breath.
Some of her emotions stick to my fingertips and try to mix with mine.
It’s not crazy, because that’s what she does. Even I became like that when Sendai-san touched me, so I need her to be the same way. But I can’t believe that’s what happens when I touch her.
Slowly, I crawl my fingers into the muddy place to check Sendai-san.
My fingertips are hot.
My back is hot.
When I put my body close to Sendai’s, it was so hot that it made me dizzy even through my T-shirt, and my breathing was disturbed. I put a little pressure on my fingertips and kiss Sendai-san’s ear. I hear a muffled voice from her. I bit down on her shoulder, wanting to hear her more clearly.
「Ahn…! Mhm..!」
Sendai-san makes a snarled, pained voice.
It is very similar to the voice Sendai-san used to make when she had a cold, but it was more vivid than the voice I heard then, and it makes me feel pain when I listen to it.
「…Does it feel good?」
I know the answer without having to ask, but the voice I make when I feel good and the voice I make when I am in pain are so similar that I can’t help but listen.
「It’s… good…」
Sendai-san’s voice is a little higher than usual and sweeter than the cheesecake we just ate.
「How much?」
「Is that something, you usually, ask?」
Sendai-san says, interruptedly, but so that I can hear her properly.
「I don’t know about the usual, but answer me.」
My voice is also pulled by Sendai-san and becomes different from my usual voice.
「It’s too… much…」
「How much is too much?」
「It’s really, really, really too much.」
「You have to tell me what you mean.」
Sendai-san let out a gasp at the sound of my voice. Then she rolled her back and tried to move away from me. So I pulled her by the waist and asked her again, 「Tell me,」I said in a small voice, sticking her back to me as if she had given up.
「…Too good, than doing it myself.」
「Eh… Ehh?」
The voice was just barely loud enough to shake my eardrums and I almost missed it. But I heard it clearly, not in my ears, but in a way that stayed in my head.
I didn’t think I would get that kind of answer, and it confuses me because that’s not the kind of answer I wanted. I call her Sendai-san and hug her.
My head is all messed up and I can’t get my thoughts straight.
What do you think, how do you think, by yourself?
But, really, by yourself?
Sendai-san remained silent, and when I moved my fingers, hoping for a reaction, I could hear her voice, which I usually don’t hear, sounding higher and higher.
「Miyagi, shut up… do it.」
Her breath is mixed in between her unusual, pained voice, and my own breathing is disturbed in time with hers.
I cannot breathe well.
The sound of mine and Sendai-san’s irregular breathing echoes in the darkness.
Unable to catch her ragged breath, I pressed my fingers against Sendai-san’s body and strokes her.
My fingertips are nearly drowning in the overflow from her body.
I changed so much just by touching a part of her body that is only a small part of her body area and my fingertips are enough. This may happen no matter who touches it, but I don’t want to think that someone else can change Sendai-san in this way. This body belongs only to me, and I’m the only one who knows this kind of Sendai-san.
「I can’t see you… at least let me hear your… voice.」
Sendai-san, who earlier told me to shut up, grabs my arm and says.
「My voice?」
「My name, call it.」
「Sendai-san…」
In response to a small voice, I call her name.
I don’t want her to hear a voice that doesn’t sound like mine, but it feels good to call her name. But Sendai-san seems dissatisfied and replies,「Wro…ng…」
「Call me… Hazuki…」
Her name.
That is her name.
「No. I won’t call you that.」
I don’t want to call her because I can’t keep her to myself.
「Miyagi is… so stingy.」
When I say this, Sendai-san calls my name repeatedly.
Miyagi.
Mi…yagi.
The same thing happened when I was made on this bed. Sendai-san called my name many times.
Her voice is still pleasant.
The name called repeatedly, entangled in Sendai-san’s voice, makes me blubber and sink, almost unable to come back.
「Shut up.」
I bumped my forehead against Sendai-san’s back.
「If you cover, my mouth…」
When I crawl my fingers to her lips in a voice that is forceful but defiant, I am bitten. It doesn’t hurt, but her tongue hits the tip of my finger and it gets hot there, like I’ve been burned. As soon as I pulled my finger out, Sendai-san called my name.
Miyagi. Miyagi. Miyagi.
My name shatters and breaks, entering my body and filling in the gaps. Pieces of words flow into every corner of my body, piercing me from the inside out. It’s tingling and painful, but it feels good.
I move my fingers as if buoyed by the heat, and continue stroking, hard and soft.
「…Mhn…! Ahh…」
The leaking voices caress my ears and fall deep into my body.
The sensation connects me strongly to that Sunday. I exhale as my body is trying to react like that time when she touched me and it felt so good.
My fingertips are so hot that they seem to melt.
When I stop moving my fingers loosely, the hand holding my arm tightens and calls my name pleadingly.
I don’t know Sendai-san is like this.
The hand that grabs me so hard that I can only think that she wants me.
Her body that is hotter than any time before.
Her heat is contagious and makes my core hot. The overflow that melts me makes me crazy.
I knew I shouldn’t have turned off the lights.
I should not have covered her eyes with a towel.
I regret it.
I don’t want my face to be seen, but I want to know what kind of face Sendai-san is calling me. I want her to look me in the face, look me in the eye, and call me by name. The anxiety that had occupied most of me melted away, vanished, and was replaced by a desire to know. I want to know what she’s thinking, what she’s looking at, what she is calling my name. I want to know everything that I don’t know about Sendai-san, both before and after. I want her to tell me everything without telling anyone else.
All the things I don’t ask, all the things I can’t ask.
It doesn’t have to be today, but I want her to tell me.
「Sendai-san. ———Sendai-san.」
When I bury my face in her neck and call out in a hushed voice, she responds,「Shi–ori,」The name she called me is filled with a heat I’ve never felt before, and my chest tingles as if it’s burning. It’s hard to breathe, and I crawl harder on my fingers.
I wish I could feel better about it.
A lot more than I do.
The slimy thing twists around and tries to pull me closer, so I press my fingers against it tightly. The hand that was attached to my arm gripped it tightly and my fingers dug in. I bit down on her neck and bristled hard, and the fingers that had been digging into my arm slid away with more force. Still moving her fingers gently, she called me「Miyagi,」under her rough breath.
「Wait, sto…p…」
Sendai-san slaps my arm, saying in a clipped voice.
「Why?」
「What do you mean, why—」
Sendai-san breaks off her words there and takes a deep breath. Then, she exhaled slowly and said in a troubled voice.
「You know what I mean. I can’t do it anymore.」
Only when I was told, I do understand that I should not continue any longer.
「Sorry.」
I take my hand away and pull it out of her underwear. When I turned on the lights and looked at Sendai-san, who was curled up, her shoulders were moving up and down in a small motion.
Her face is covered with a towel and her expression is not visible.
I shifted my gaze to my fingers.
My fingers are wet with the stuff that overflowed from Sendai-san.
When I rub my fingers together, they become wet.
I believe that what remains on these fingers are remnants of what Sendai-san was feeling, and that she wasn’t lying when she said it felt good. And the thought of this same thing staining her fingers on that Sunday makes my face burn.
「Miyagi.」
Perhaps because I had been silent for so long, Sendai-san called my name. When I looked at my finger without replying, I started to move my body and began to do something fidgety. When I looked at her out of curiosity, I saw that she had removed her towel and was looking at me.
「Miyagi, wait a minute. What are you doing?」
She said in a grumpy, if not angry, voice, and Sendai-san got off the bed. Then she immediately returned with a platypus in her arms.
「You always wipe these things right away, so wipe them today.」
Sendai-san sat down on the bed and giggled, then grabbed my arm and wiped her fingers. The remnants of her disappeared in a flash, sucked up by the tissue and thrown into the trash.
「I thought Miyagi didn’t like to get her hands dirty, but I guess not?」
When I stared at her face at the sound of Sendai-san’s voice, which sounded like I was taken aback, I saw that her cheeks were a little red. Her clothes were also in disarray, making me realize once again what we had been doing.
I do not answer Sendai-san’s question, but cover her lips.
I don’t know why I wanted to kiss her.
But I wanted to touch Sendai-san’s lips.
When I lightly touched her and pulled my face away, Sendai-san kissed me back. Our lips touch hard and her tongue enters my mouth. She traces the rows of teeth and moves to twirl her tongue. We kissed slowly, long and hard, and Sendai-san pushed me down.
「I'll make Miyagi feel good too」
As soon as her back is on the bed, she whispers to me and I involuntarily push her shoulder.
My body is still hot from earlier, and I think that if Sendai-san touches me like this, I will lose my mind more than before.
「No.」
When I answered clearly, Sendai-san sounded dissatisfied.
「Why? I want to touch you as well.」
「Not now.」
「When is a good time?」
「I don’t know when, but you can’t right now.」
I feel that if she touches me now, I will forgive her for everything, so I push Sendai-san away and force myself to sit up.
「Miyagi.」
I get off the bed and stand up to ignore the voices I hear, and then I am tugged by the hem of my T-shirt. When I looked at her, I unusually looked away from Sendai-san and looked at her again.
「You know, uhh, Miyagi. I——」
I waited for her next words. But then again, Sendai-san didn’t say anything.
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I’m not going to make her say she doesn’t want to.
And maybe Sendai-san won’t say no. Still, I can’t help but think about what would happen if she said she didn’t want to. I wish she would say something sooner, but she doesn’t open her mouth very often, which makes me anxious.
「Sendai-san, what’s your answer?」
When I tell her to hurry up, which she does without saying a word, she calls me「Miyagi.」
「The way you put it earlier, if I don’t say no, Miyagi can do it to me again, do you understand?」
「…I understand that.」
I at least understand what I said.
I am not going to pretend that I didn’t say what I said.
If I can get Sendai-san today, I would be willing to use myself in the future as a bargaining chip.
「If you understand it, then it’s fine.」
Sendai-san says in a soft but firm voice.
She stares at me without blinking, and I want to look away. But I can’t close my eyes or look away because I feel that if I run away from Sendai’s gaze-san, what I am about to do will be terribly wrong.
「Does that mean it’s okay to do it?」
When I confirm this, she responds,「That’s the way it’s supposed to be.」
It would’ve been natural for Sendai-san to smile at me, but she didn’t smile at me today. She kept a serious face. I hope I was doing what I always do, because what I was about to do will have an air of great significance, as if it were a very big deal. It’s not fair to look sincere at a time like now.
「Then, a condition of exchange. Bring me two towels.」
I tell Sendai-san, who thinks the kiss I just gave her is an exchange, in a voice that is neither loud nor quiet.
「Eh, wait a second. I asked you if the exchange of kisses meant you had to let go of my hand, and you said no, right? So I thought that’s what you’re about to do, is that it?」
「What I’m about to do is in exchange for me listening to what Sendai-san said the other day, so it’s not an exchange.」
「…I see. So, what are towels used for?」
「Just bring it to me, please.」
「Pervert Miyagi.」
It was the usual voice and tone of voice, but only Sendai-san’s expression was different from usual. She stared straight into my eyes, but I can’t read what she is thinking.
「I haven’t said or done anything yet.」
We are just having an exchange that we have had in the past, but my voice becomes hard.
「You’ve only ever used towels for binding wrists or blindfolds on me.」
「If you know the answer, don’t bother asking.」
If Sendai-san looks different from usual, just cover her face. If I can’t see it, I won’t mind it. If I also bind her behavior, it will be more heartbreaking, but she will be what I want.
「Well, I’ll bring it to you.」
Sendai-san said in a voice that sounded like she had no choice and stood up. Then she went to the front of the chest and came back with a white towel in her hand.
「Okay, here you go.」
Placing a towel on my head, Sendai-san sits on the bed. My eyes naturally follow her and my body moves. A towel fell from over my head and when I caught it before it hit the floor there was only one white piece.
「Where’s the other one?」
「There was one kiss, so one piece. Feel free to use it for whatever you want.」
「Sneaky.」
「Miyagi is more sneaky than me.」
Sendai-san’s foot poked my side.
I think it’s the opposite of usual.
When I let her lick my feet, I would sit on the bed and Sendai-san would sit on the floor, but today, Sendai-san is sitting on the bed and I am sitting on the floor.
I grab Sendai-san’s ankle.
Her legs are covered by denim and there is very little visible. I look up and see an arm stretched out from a short-sleeved T-shirt.
It is not a uniform, nor is it a skirt, but I’m now seeing something close to the view she always had. I don’t mean to lick her feet, but it does make me feel a little strange.
「Miyagi, have you decided what you’re going to do? If you can’t decide, what about the option of not doing it?」
Sendai-san’s voice came down from above my head, and I answered without hesitation.
「Your eyes, close it. I’m gonna tie you up.」
「What were you thinking of tying up my wrists for?」
Sendai-san asks without closing her eyes.
「I don’t want Sendai-san to do anything weird while I’m doing it.」
「Don’t worry, I won’t do anything. So, what about the blindfold?」
「I just don’t like being watched.」
It isn’t because Sendai-san looks different from usual.
So I’ll answer another reason.
「That’s usually my line. I think it’s something that the person who’s having it done to them doesn’t want to be seen.」
「Shut up, Sendai-san.」
Sendai-san has always been a talker, but today she was very involved. I stand up and cover her eyes with a towel because I feel that if we chatted any longer, we would end up doing nothing. But before the towel touched Sendai-san she grabbed my wrist.
「You can blindfold me if you want, but smile before you do.」
Sendai-san said in a soft voice and smiled at me, as if to tell me to do the same.
「I don’t want to.」
「Then, kiss me.」
She didn’t expect me to smile, and soon the next words were thrown at me.
No reason to refuse.
I slowly bring my face close to Sendai-san’s and her eyes close. I stare at her well-formed face and then touch her lips, which are softer than the towel I’m holding. But before I can feel their smoothness and warmth, I release my lips and cover my eyes.
「I can’t see anything.」
「I wouldn’t want you to see it.」
Gently touching her shoulder, Sendai-san lay down on the bed. I sat down next to her, turned off the light and put the remote control on the bed.
「Sendai-san, turn that way.」
「Turn what way?」
「Facing the wall.」
I covered her eyes and turned off the lights, so no matter where she turned, she couldn’t see her face from me, nor could she see mine. I know, but when I see Sendai-san’s face looking at me, it makes my heart flutter.
「Aren’t you too careful for this?」
「Just turn around and face away from me.」
I push her unmoving shoulders against the wall with a jerk.
「——I can’t kiss you, is that okay?」
「It’s okay.」
When I answered shortly, Sendai-san turned her body toward the wall as if she had given up. I feel guilty as she easily accepts my words.
I think touching Sendai-san to erase my anxiety is too much disregard for her feelings. I always let only my feelings precede me. Sendai-san often cares for me, but I can’t even care for her half as much as she cares for me.
I am not always right.
I’ve never had the right relationship with Sendai-san, and I’m still trying to touch her for reasons that aren’t right.
But I don’t think I’m wrong.
I could only relate to Sendai-san in that way, and there is no mistaking my desire to touch her. It’s not right for us to be roommates, but it’s not wrong for us to be roommates even if we do things that aren’t right. Sendai-san also said it was fine if her roommate did it.
So it’s okay to touch Sendai-san.
After I convinced myself, I lay down on the bed and hugged Sendai-san’s body from the back. Through the T-shirt, our bodies are snuggled together. It was as if I was hugging Sendai-san for the first time.
「Miyagi, I’m in close contact with you.」
「If so, what is it?」
「No, nothing really, I hope Miyagi is okay with this.」
She says it with difficulty, and Sendai-san goes silent.
I think I was indeed too attached to her. Even through the cloth, I can clearly feel Sendai-san’s body temperature and smell the shampoo in her hair, and my heart is beating so loud and fast that I worry she can hear my heartbeat. But when I am attached to Sendai-san, my anxiety disappears in proportion to the amount of areas we are in contact with.
I slip my hand around my front and slides it inside through the hem of her T-shirt. When I pressed my palm against her stomach to better feel her body heat, Sendai-san’s body shivered.
I put my forehead on her back, just below her neck.
I slide my hand over her navel to her side and call「Sendai-san.」A small 「What?」Has made my heart skipped a beat while hearing her voice. I let go of her forehead because I was afraid that Sendai-san would hear the sound.
I took a small breath in and out, then slowly moved my hands, which were at her sides, to place them on her back. I trace her spine from the bottom of her neck. I press my hand against the area behind her heart, but I don’t feel the sound of her heartbeat. But I could tell that her body was hot. When I put my lips on her shoulder through the cloth, Sendai-san moved jerkily.
I crawl my hand a little above her waist and claw it.
I hear the sound of Sendai-san exhaling a small breath.
I slide my hand down her chest and gently touch her breasts over her underwear, and feel only the texture of the fabric. She doesn’t say anything, so I crawl my hand up to check the shape. My fingertips, which crawl loosely and without effort, can only feel the unevenness and stitching of the lace. I want to feel the warmth and softness of her body directly, like when I touch her belly.
It’s not her body covering that I want to touch.
It’s Sendai-san herself.
I stroke the collarbone, then crawl my fingertips up and place my hand on the back. Stroke her shoulder blades and touch the bra hooks.
「Can I take it off?」
「I hope Miyagi don’t mind if I do the same thing to you.」
Sendai-san answers quietly.
「I won’t let you, but I want to take it off.」
I duck my fingertips under the hooks and stroke the spine. Sendai-san doesn’t say yes, but she doesn’t say no either. I bit her shoulder through her T-shirt as if urging her to reply.
Sendai-san’s back is straining.
But she still doesn’t say anything, so I unhook her.
「Miyagi is lewd.」
Sendai-san says in a whisper.
I pretend not to hear her and slide my hand down her back to her chest. I place my hand under her underwear, directly over her breasts. Gently move my hand to encircle the bulge, which is bigger than mine, but not too big. Unlike her underwear, body heat is transmitted through the smooth skin. And at the same time, something hard hits my palm.
The center of softness.
It stimulates a point on the palm of my hand, which tells me of Sendai-san’s reaction to me, and I hold my breath for a moment.
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「Sendai-san.」
I call her out softly and press my hand hard against it, but she doesn’t respond. I can strongly feel the hardened thing in the palm of my hand. When I stroked there with my fingertips, her body moved a lot. It was what I could only assume was Sendai-san’s reaction to what I had done, and she couldn’t breathe. It becomes painful, and she breathe in and out. My heart is beating so loudly I want to cover my ears, but I would rather touch her more than do that.
「Sendai-san.」
「Nh—n.」
I hear a reply that is not much different than usual, but with a hint of exhalation.
The voice makes my heart beat harder.
It makes me want to change more of the voice that caresses my eardrums.
I slowly check the feel of it in the center with my fingertips and then cover it with the palm of my hand. The softness of her breasts remains the same, but only the center seems to have gained hardness. As I gently and gently move my fingers and hands to continue to feel her softness and the sensation of her center, Sendai-san’s back rounds in tandem.
I think she’s cute like that and would love to take off her clothes and see her body like this.
I want to turn on the lights, brighten it up, look at her body, and make my mark on her chest, on her collarbone. I want to bite her hard and touch those marks until I feel better.
When I try to roll up the hem of her T-shirt, she grips my hand tightly.
It is a sign of unwillingness, and the strength of the force shows that it’s not the same as when I unhooked it. I had no choice either, because I told her not to take off her clothes at that time. If I forced her to take off her clothes, she would tell me that she would not let me do it any more.
「I won’t undress you, let me go.」
I say quietly, and my hand is released.
I don’t want to lose touch with her now.
I have yet to get to know all of her.
I snuggle my body against Sendai-san’s rounded back. I crawl my fingertips to the center of her breasts and put my lips on her shoulders over her clothes. I stroke the surface of her skin and continue to slowly touch her soft breasts.
「How long… are you going… to keep touching it…?」
Sendai-san’s voice is heard interrupted in an unnatural place. Her voice was distinctly different from the voice I had just heard, and had a pale color to it. I cover her chest with my palm, wanting to hear more of her voice. I don’t want to let go of her hand because it feels so good just to touch her, even though it’s on my own body.
「Miya…gi.」
In a strong voice, Sendai-san calls me and grabs my wrist.
Her back moves and I hear the sound of breathing in and out.
「That’s enough of that.」
With a small voice, Sendai-san moves my hand to the area below her ribs.
A soft place with no bone.
Instead of my chest, I crawl my hand and pinch her side.
「Ouch.」
Sendai-san says accusingly.
I sets my teeth on her shoulder and pressed my hand hard against her side, my hand sucking on her sweaty body. I realize now that my own body is ridiculously hot from the body heat coming from my hands, which are so close together that there is no space left between them.
I move my body away from her back a little.
I reach my hand below her navel and slide it further down to touch the button on her denim.
Once this is undone, I can get to know Sendai-san better.
That makes me a little nervous, and the thought of what happened when she did it to me comes to mind, and Sendai-san overlaps with me at that time.
On this bed, I am——
I vividly remember what happened to me, and my consciousness gathers around the center of my stomach. As my body almost reacts, I am clearly aware of what I am about to do to Sendai-san.
A part I have not yet touched.
A place unknown to Sendai-san.
Touch her there.
The me in my memory and Sendai-san are mingled together. My body is dragged by the memory, and I can’t unbutton the button properly.
「…Sendai-san, take this off.」
「Just take it off yourself.」
「I can’t do it right. Do it.」
I place the palms of my hands on her stomach.
I squeezed, but Sendai-san didn’t move. I stick my forehead to her shoulder and ask her to「do it」again, and she unbuttons it.
「Is this okay?」
At the sound of Sendai-san’s voice, I pull down my zipper.
I crawled my hand inside the denim and touches her underwear.
It’s not like I don’t know what to do next.
But I’m worried.
Her body is responding to my hands, and I can predict what might be going on in her underwear, but not necessarily what I expect.
「Miyagi?」
I hear Sendai-san’s little voice and I inhale and exhale slowly before inserting my hand into her underwear.
The stiff denim material pushes my fingers onward.
I reach a part of her body I’ve never touched before and my fingertips are covered with something slimy.
Something sticky and different from sweat.
It clings to my fingertips more than I can imagine.
It both relieves and upsets me.
I never thought Sendai-san could be like this.
Even though I don’t think I did it well, I am so amazed that Sendai-san has become, by my hands, what I have become in the past, that all my blood is about to evaporate.
I move my fingertips.
Sendai-san’s back moves so that you can tell she took a deep breath.
Some of her emotions stick to my fingertips and try to mix with mine.
It’s not crazy, because that’s what she does. Even I became like that when Sendai-san touched me, so I need her to be the same way. But I can’t believe that’s what happens when I touch her.
Slowly, I crawl my fingers into the muddy place to check Sendai-san.
My fingertips are hot.
My back is hot.
When I put my body close to Sendai’s, it was so hot that it made me dizzy even through my T-shirt, and my breathing was disturbed. I put a little pressure on my fingertips and kiss Sendai-san’s ear. I hear a muffled voice from her. I bit down on her shoulder, wanting to hear her more clearly.
「Ahn…! Mhm..!」
Sendai-san makes a snarled, pained voice.
It is very similar to the voice Sendai-san used to make when she had a cold, but it was more vivid than the voice I heard then, and it makes me feel pain when I listen to it.
「…Does it feel good?」
I know the answer without having to ask, but the voice I make when I feel good and the voice I make when I am in pain are so similar that I can’t help but listen.
「It’s… good…」
Sendai-san’s voice is a little higher than usual and sweeter than the cheesecake we just ate.
「How much?」
「Is that something, you usually, ask?」
Sendai-san says, interruptedly, but so that I can hear her properly.
「I don’t know about the usual, but answer me.」
My voice is also pulled by Sendai-san and becomes different from my usual voice.
「It’s too… much…」
「How much is too much?」
「It’s really, really, really too much.」
「You have to tell me what you mean.」
Sendai-san let out a gasp at the sound of my voice. Then she rolled her back and tried to move away from me. So I pulled her by the waist and asked her again, 「Tell me,」I said in a small voice, sticking her back to me as if she had given up.
「…Too good, than doing it myself.」
「Eh… Ehh?」
The voice was just barely loud enough to shake my eardrums and I almost missed it. But I heard it clearly, not in my ears, but in a way that stayed in my head.
I didn’t think I would get that kind of answer, and it confuses me because that’s not the kind of answer I wanted. I call her Sendai-san and hug her.
My head is all messed up and I can’t get my thoughts straight.
What do you think, how do you think, by yourself?
But, really, by yourself?
Sendai-san remained silent, and when I moved my fingers, hoping for a reaction, I could hear her voice, which I usually don’t hear, sounding higher and higher.
「Miyagi, shut up… do it.」
Her breath is mixed in between her unusual, pained voice, and my own breathing is disturbed in time with hers.
I cannot breathe well.
The sound of mine and Sendai-san’s irregular breathing echoes in the darkness.
Unable to catch her ragged breath, I pressed my fingers against Sendai-san’s body and strokes her.
My fingertips are nearly drowning in the overflow from her body.
I changed so much just by touching a part of her body that is only a small part of her body area and my fingertips are enough. This may happen no matter who touches it, but I don’t want to think that someone else can change Sendai-san in this way. This body belongs only to me, and I’m the only one who knows this kind of Sendai-san.
「I can’t see you… at least let me hear your… voice.」
Sendai-san, who earlier told me to shut up, grabs my arm and says.
「My voice?」
「My name, call it.」
「Sendai-san…」
In response to a small voice, I call her name.
I don’t want her to hear a voice that doesn’t sound like mine, but it feels good to call her name. But Sendai-san seems dissatisfied and replies,「Wro…ng…」
「Call me… Hazuki…」
Her name.
That is her name.
「No. I won’t call you that.」
I don’t want to call her because I can’t keep her to myself.
「Miyagi is… so stingy.」
When I say this, Sendai-san calls my name repeatedly.
Miyagi.
Mi…yagi.
The same thing happened when I was made on this bed. Sendai-san called my name many times.
Her voice is still pleasant.
The name called repeatedly, entangled in Sendai-san’s voice, makes me blubber and sink, almost unable to come back.
「Shut up.」
I bumped my forehead against Sendai-san’s back.
「If you cover, my mouth…」
When I crawl my fingers to her lips in a voice that is forceful but defiant, I am bitten. It doesn’t hurt, but her tongue hits the tip of my finger and it gets hot there, like I’ve been burned. As soon as I pulled my finger out, Sendai-san called my name.
Miyagi. Miyagi. Miyagi.
My name shatters and breaks, entering my body and filling in the gaps. Pieces of words flow into every corner of my body, piercing me from the inside out. It’s tingling and painful, but it feels good.
I move my fingers as if buoyed by the heat, and continue stroking, hard and soft.
「…Mhn…! Ahh…」
The leaking voices caress my ears and fall deep into my body.
The sensation connects me strongly to that Sunday. I exhale as my body is trying to react like that time when she touched me and it felt so good.
My fingertips are so hot that they seem to melt.
When I stop moving my fingers loosely, the hand holding my arm tightens and calls my name pleadingly.
I don’t know Sendai-san is like this.
The hand that grabs me so hard that I can only think that she wants me.
Her body that is hotter than any time before.
Her heat is contagious and makes my core hot. The overflow that melts me makes me crazy.
I knew I shouldn’t have turned off the lights.
I should not have covered her eyes with a towel.
I regret it.
I don’t want my face to be seen, but I want to know what kind of face Sendai-san is calling me. I want her to look me in the face, look me in the eye, and call me by name. The anxiety that had occupied most of me melted away, vanished, and was replaced by a desire to know. I want to know what she’s thinking, what she’s looking at, what she is calling my name. I want to know everything that I don’t know about Sendai-san, both before and after. I want her to tell me everything without telling anyone else.
All the things I don’t ask, all the things I can’t ask.
It doesn’t have to be today, but I want her to tell me.
「Sendai-san. ———Sendai-san.」
When I bury my face in her neck and call out in a hushed voice, she responds,「Shi–ori,」The name she called me is filled with a heat I’ve never felt before, and my chest tingles as if it’s burning. It’s hard to breathe, and I crawl harder on my fingers.
I wish I could feel better about it.
A lot more than I do.
The slimy thing twists around and tries to pull me closer, so I press my fingers against it tightly. The hand that was attached to my arm gripped it tightly and my fingers dug in. I bit down on her neck and bristled hard, and the fingers that had been digging into my arm slid away with more force. Still moving her fingers gently, she called me「Miyagi,」under her rough breath.
「Wait, sto…p…」
Sendai-san slaps my arm, saying in a clipped voice.
「Why?」
「What do you mean, why—」
Sendai-san breaks off her words there and takes a deep breath. Then, she exhaled slowly and said in a troubled voice.
「You know what I mean. I can’t do it anymore.」
Only when I was told, I do understand that I should not continue any longer.
「Sorry.」
I take my hand away and pull it out of her underwear. When I turned on the lights and looked at Sendai-san, who was curled up, her shoulders were moving up and down in a small motion.
Her face is covered with a towel and her expression is not visible.
I shifted my gaze to my fingers.
My fingers are wet with the stuff that overflowed from Sendai-san.
When I rub my fingers together, they become wet.
I believe that what remains on these fingers are remnants of what Sendai-san was feeling, and that she wasn’t lying when she said it felt good. And the thought of this same thing staining her fingers on that Sunday makes my face burn.
「Miyagi.」
Perhaps because I had been silent for so long, Sendai-san called my name. When I looked at my finger without replying, I started to move my body and began to do something fidgety. When I looked at her out of curiosity, I saw that she had removed her towel and was looking at me.
「Miyagi, wait a minute. What are you doing?」
She said in a grumpy, if not angry, voice, and Sendai-san got off the bed. Then she immediately returned with a platypus in her arms.
「You always wipe these things right away, so wipe them today.」
Sendai-san sat down on the bed and giggled, then grabbed my arm and wiped her fingers. The remnants of her disappeared in a flash, sucked up by the tissue and thrown into the trash.
「I thought Miyagi didn’t like to get her hands dirty, but I guess not?」
When I stared at her face at the sound of Sendai-san’s voice, which sounded like I was taken aback, I saw that her cheeks were a little red. Her clothes were also in disarray, making me realize once again what we had been doing.
I do not answer Sendai-san’s question, but cover her lips.
I don’t know why I wanted to kiss her.
But I wanted to touch Sendai-san’s lips.
When I lightly touched her and pulled my face away, Sendai-san kissed me back. Our lips touch hard and her tongue enters my mouth. She traces the rows of teeth and moves to twirl her tongue. We kissed slowly, long and hard, and Sendai-san pushed me down.
「I'll make Miyagi feel good too」
As soon as her back is on the bed, she whispers to me and I involuntarily push her shoulder.
My body is still hot from earlier, and I think that if Sendai-san touches me like this, I will lose my mind more than before.
「No.」
When I answered clearly, Sendai-san sounded dissatisfied.
「Why? I want to touch you as well.」
「Not now.」
「When is a good time?」
「I don’t know when, but you can’t right now.」
I feel that if she touches me now, I will forgive her for everything, so I push Sendai-san away and force myself to sit up.
「Miyagi.」
I get off the bed and stand up to ignore the voices I hear, and then I am tugged by the hem of my T-shirt. When I looked at her, I unusually looked away from Sendai-san and looked at her again.
「You know, uhh, Miyagi. I——」
I waited for her next words. But then again, Sendai-san didn’t say anything.
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